Why would I do that? My name is William.

I really hate people.

"Why would I do that? My name is William."

I applaud you, sir.

As I said last night, it's an old Sicilian message; he faps while thinking of her all the time.

when oh when will I find true love like that?

Nerdlinger: Why would I do that? My name is William.

FTW

Sorry, I told that never fails.

/Ben.

Personally I like my men to send me the still beating hearts of virgins

What's worse, her name probably isn't Ben either.

Nerdlinger: Why would I do that? My name is William.

Winner.

i honestly thought rats would be more civilized than this.

Was...
Drinking, typing and talking on the phone at the same time is no way to go through life son.

I'll bet he's from Guam.

A severed kitten head! Brilliant!

What a freak.

Daamnit! Is there any way that you can get a package back after you have sent it?

/I so thought she would love it.

this makes me miss my ex boyfriend

Why do all the wierd people live near me?

Chances are she dumped this sick fark and now he's on a fapping spree. Won't someone think of the kittens?

If you want to impress someone, you have to send them your severed head. Any fool can cut someone/thing else's head off. But your own head, that takes some doing. Especially having it mailed after the fact.

What's worse, her name probably isn't Ben either.

Well I think what you are trying to say, is that he signed the letter, "your Ben."

Now, if he had signed it, "you're Ben," then your theory would apply.

OH JEEZUS NO!! IT WAS A BLACK CAT! HATE CRIME!!

Oh c'mon, who doesn't want a little head?

This really reminds me of an old Dilbert comic...something about Dogbert suggesting somebody send a dead critter with a note saying "Unlike this (name of creature), my love for you will never die".

I -really- wish I could find that strip, but my google-fu seems weak.

Treize26

Why do all the wierd people live near me?

I don't know. But look put your window.

It was probably watching him masturbate.

buzzcut73: "Unlike this (name of creature), my love for you will never die".

Woodchuck.

I wonder if he's one of those losers who dresses all black and listens to loud, repetitive music.

dead kitten metaphorically makes me happy in the pants.

dead kitten literally? Not so much.

2007-02-04 03:08:53 AMOtto's_Jacket

Oh c'mon, who doesn't want a little head?

I lol'ed

krysbabe: Personally I like my men to send me the still beating hearts of virgins

No, see, that just doesn't work. For them to still be beating when they arrive you have to get same day delivery and the costs are totally outrageous. And that's not even taking into account how difficult it is to find virgins meandering about the neighborhood.

/sheesh, talk about demanding
//worth it maybe, but still...

Wow... the humane society officer, Katie Waters, is my cousin. I'll have to let her know that she made Fark!

Wish I could make this bigger, my photoshop-fu is not good. It clicks larger.

What's in the box?!?

I recommend chocolates.

Schrodinger's Valentine?

RottNDude

That is so mean, and so funny. Just to balance the karma...

Did he think this would be touching? Or that she couldn't trace it back to him? What a dumbfbxrd.

I blame the dog

Writer seems confused...

Pittsburgh police arrested Benjamin Gregory..

Mr. Benjamin was taken to the Allegheny County Jail.

Mr. Gregory had recently been released from jail..

Was it Mr. Benjamin or Mr. Gregory whodunnit?

Thanks for clearing that mystery up lsc78.

dammit HellFace!

I was sifting through google image results looking for that...

NobleHam:Or that she couldn't trace it back to him?

He signed the note, so I think he wanted her to know it was from him

HellFace
Well done, sir!

Drillcat should pay this asshole a visit.

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?


/sick farker/
/hope he rots in jail/

Damn there has to be a gratuitous 'pussy' joke in there somewhere but the beer is stifling my limited creative thoughts...

/anyone want to cum to the rescue and save the thread?