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(CBS New York) Dumbass Man tries to steal an entire New York City hotel valued at $76 million. That's not exactly something you can stick down your pants unnoticed   (wcbstv.com) divider line 47
More: Dumbass  
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47 Comments   (+0 »)


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strangeguitar 2006-12-29 03:22:41 PM  
Put it under your hat. It's the best place to hide stuff.

 
Helen_Arigby 2006-12-29 03:30:21 PM  
Best tell the Night Watch that guarding the theatre isn't necessarily a ticket out of work, then.

 
Candygram4Mongo 2006-12-29 07:30:30 PM  
A lesson for us all: if you're going to steal commercial real estate, be sure to fill out the right forms, with all the necessary signatures. There is NO excuse for sloppiness!

 
PhoenixInFlames 2006-12-29 10:20:54 PM  
wow, the green lights are coming fast tonight. Hey.. hey buddy.. .I got a bridge for you....

 
Hammurderer 2006-12-29 10:24:01 PM  
m0ondoggy: Maybe not *your* pants.

Are you saying you have a lot of unused space in your pants?

 
fred_chan 2006-12-29 10:24:13 PM  
Is he one of the VILE henchmen?

 
neofox87 2006-12-29 10:25:22 PM  
If he did try that, he'd certainly pass for a hardened criminal...

 
elvisbreath 2006-12-29 10:25:33 PM  
It was in my pocket.

It's bigger on the inside than the outside.

/god bless you, doctor

 
Bf+ 2006-12-29 10:26:06 PM  
M0ondoggy: Damn you.
/too slow
/+1

 
morningjolt 2006-12-29 10:26:13 PM  
Is that a hotel in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

 
fumundacheese 2006-12-29 10:30:32 PM  
He would have gotten away if he had dotted his "i" s.

 
puffy999 [TotalFark] 2006-12-29 10:32:10 PM  
Speak for yourself, Tiny McNeedleDick VonSmallBalls.

 
CornFedIowan 2006-12-29 10:32:53 PM  
Did he trade in his four houses first?

 
Car_Ramrod 2006-12-29 10:33:09 PM  
Fark that, I can steal at least 2 hotels in my pants

img139.imageshack.us

 
jafiwam 2006-12-29 10:35:58 PM  
Wanted for questioning.

www.filmfodder.com

Yes, I am old.

 
Guidomyte 2006-12-29 10:36:29 PM  
I can fit it in there if I take the giant snake out...He's not a fan of NYC architecture..

 
Blhack [TotalFark] 2006-12-29 10:36:53 PM  
will somebody please explain the bridge in brooklyn cliche to me?

 
Pharkside of the Moon 2006-12-29 10:41:53 PM  
I worked over the whole mini bar one time and filled up the vodka with water and did not get charged.
/before electronic
//158$ on my cc

 
Hoblit 2006-12-29 10:42:23 PM  
...and he would have gotten away with it too if it were'nt for those meddling ..DOI?

 
simpsonfan 2006-12-29 10:43:04 PM  
Binack: Scammers would try to sell it to suckers, as they'll believe anything you tell them... He should at least gone bor something more outrageous, like one of The Donald's properties.

 
xero69 2006-12-29 10:45:45 PM  
I bet he forgot the cover letter on those TPS reports

img81.imageshack.us

 
punguy 2006-12-29 10:46:41 PM  
He needed an SEP field

 
Hoblit 2006-12-29 10:50:26 PM  
punguy

TOTALLY!

 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2006-12-29 10:51:08 PM  
You can if you're Carmen Sandiego.

Hell, she was stealing the Great Wall of China and stuff like that. Stealing a hotel shouldn't be a problem for her.

 
Bogolov 2006-12-29 10:53:04 PM  
“I would like to commend the DOF employee who reported this matter to DOI," Department of Investigation Commissioner Rose Gill Hearn said in a statement. Hearn added, “WTF, the perp will be in a PMITA prison PDQ. DIAF, evil-doers! You are all FUBAR!”

 
SuperCatBarf [TotalFark] 2006-12-29 10:53:30 PM  
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

 
Troggie42 [TotalFark] 2006-12-29 10:53:41 PM  
maybe not in my pants, but i have this bag here, it has some kind of black hole in it or something.

 
Sleepy_Giant 2006-12-29 10:56:13 PM  
pssht. A few hotels, some houses, a wheelbarrow, a car, a terrier, and a thimble--just for good measure. All that and more in my drawers.

 
Bitterman 2006-12-29 11:03:37 PM  
images.art.com

Resemblance is scarry.

 
fappomatic 2006-12-29 11:06:06 PM  
Guess he missed that lecture at the Trump Real Estate Magick Institute.

/was rather ingenious
//he had poor follow-through on his serve

 
Bitterman 2006-12-29 11:08:24 PM  
Whoops. Wrong thread.

 
Qermaq 2006-12-29 11:21:21 PM  
In my pants, I stole eight comic books, seven packs of smokes, six packs of Tuborg, five golden toques, four pounds of back bacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks, and a beer in a tree.

 
Raharu 2006-12-29 11:21:24 PM  
img155.imageshack.us

Carmen Sandiego is Not Impressed

 
Umidude 2006-12-29 11:22:22 PM  
heh

 
Troggie42 [TotalFark] 2006-12-29 11:24:05 PM  
qermag, wasnt it six packs of two-four???

/i know the lyrics
//a pack of two four is canadian for a case of beer
///you learn stuff every day.

 
AlrightGuy 2006-12-30 12:46:44 AM  
Is The Donald at it again?

 
CanadaDave 2006-12-30 01:38:02 AM  
Troggie42: a pack of two four is canadian for a case of beer

Well, the "pack of" part isn't really used that much. It's just a two-four, or even a too-fer...

/Bet you could carry a lot of two-fours in a C-5

 
XMark 2006-12-30 01:46:29 AM  
Silly! You can't stick a SoHo Grand down your pants unnoticed! Maybe a Hilton.

 
Blue Eagle 2006-12-30 02:44:41 AM  
I never realized how manly Carmen Sandiego.

 
bheilig 2006-12-30 02:47:36 AM  
Came all the way to america for -that-??

 
shift_DAWG 2006-12-30 03:09:49 AM  
whitey won't give a brother a chance.

 
NotThatGirl 2006-12-30 03:14:32 AM  
Am I the only one who thinks "Carmen Sandiego" looks like a tranny??

 
BunkyBrewman [TotalFark] 2006-12-30 08:38:43 AM  
Of course you CAN'T steal commercial real estate in NYC. Privately owned real estate? Well... that's another story...

 
blanchae 2006-12-30 10:16:53 AM  
"returned to the department at least four other times to try and have the deed recorded again. During one of those visits, a department employee became suspicious"

Sounds like you have at least an 80% chance (4 out of 5 visits) of being successful. He just came back too many times - if he got it right the first time, no one would of noticed.

On the other hand, probably everyone would of noticed - who can fill out umpteen (that's like a brazilian) government forms correctly the first time? Especially because they are filled out differently depending on which government employee is examining them.

 
OneNightStand 2006-12-30 12:11:25 PM  
My friends in Christ, I have recently come into my father's inheritance, a very prominant hotel in the United States in the city of New York. As I am just a poor goat herder in Nigeria, I am willing to sell this valuable property to you for well below the price my father said it was worth.
If you could send me proof that you are of good faith I will enable you to take possession of this property immediately.
Yours in Christ,
Kouadio Kouassi

 
Qermaq 2006-12-30 03:25:19 PM  
Pretty confident on Tuborg. Two-four wouldn't make sense in this context.

 
BojanglesPaladin 2006-12-30 09:02:31 PM  
He should have talked to Sandy Berger first...

 
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