We slay a feral cat and make an ornament out of it's fuzzy little head. We give the scraps to orphans.

The goatening. definately the goatening.

The Aristocrats!

sacrificing a tree to Saint nick and then covering it with shiny bits of plastic and glass.

Not that unusual, but yesterday, I received a package from my grandma - a gift card for a restaurant, a magazine subscription that I like, and a package of pencils with my name engraved on them. On the package of pencils was a post it note with "TRADITION!" written on it.

For the last 20 years, since I started kindergarten I guess, in addition to my other Christmas gifts, she has given me pencils with my name on them for Christmas.

This is my first Christmas away from home, and I'm spending it all alone, so when I opened that package, it made me smile.

tonkin: This is my first Christmas away from home, and I'm spending it all alone, so when I opened that package, it made me smile.


So ... you're gonna spend Christmas sharpening the lead in your pencil?


/that's actually pretty cool!

mass suicide.

Mrs. dj_bigbird and I go to Benihana's for Xmas dinner. On our 2nd or 3rd Xmas together, we burned the turkey. In a semi-pani to find a place that was open for dinner (besides the Chinese buffet place), we discovered Benihana's was open.

Now, we just skip the turkey burning part and go straight to Benihana's and drink ourselves silly.

The family streak used to be a lot of fun. Everyone seems to be aging poorly, so these days, it's a little less anticipated.

Christmas Eve Nachos.

Feliz Navidad!

The Tossing Of The Midgets.

Getting drunk and pretending we like each other.

knife fight

/you pussies!

Complete avoidance, if at all possible.

I think for many it will be killing kittens or nailing someone in front of the tree.

/or both at the same time, if that's your thing.

Gift exchange Christmas eve at the grandparents house, about 20-50 (if the passes are open) people show up and have a lotto anonymous gift exchange, like a fantasy draft, number 1 to whatever. You pick the gift you want, OR.. you can steal the gift of the people that already picked.

This ensues til the end, gifts are all $30 or less, but you never saw so much bickering and fun over who got the Starbucks Holiday Pack or the Car Wash Supplies .

Imagine 30 or so family sitting around the tree stealing these gifts from each other, 4 generations, all eating and drinking while this goes on...

So one minute you got the gift you wanted most, and the next minute someone steals it, so then revenge must be had.

we do a gift exchange called Dirty Santa. We try to out redneck our gifts to each other. This year, my aunt is getting a homemade wind chime with a taxidermied alligator head on it.

Christmas Eve my mom's whole side of the family gets together at her cousin's house where we do snacky type things and then sit down at the table for our annual ham sandwhich, complete with 5 kinds of bread and probably twenty different kinds of cheese. It's fantastic. Not really unusual on the surface ... but if you knew my family, you would understand the unusual part.

The Airing of Grievances is always a fun time at my house

Opatek

Greenlight!!!! Yay!!!!

My family opens all of our presents on Christmas Eve, because we have no urge to get up early on Christmas.

Perhaps the oddest thing, though, is the fact that we're Jewish.

The Gay Elf Song and Dance. But it is strictly FAMILY ONLY.

Yeah definately the drunken goat slaughter where we cut off its genitals and take turns wearing it like a hat. Damn that's good clean American fun.

Festivus for the Rest Of Us!

This year, my aunt is getting a homemade wind chime with a taxidermied alligator head on it.

suckerpunch, please, PLEASE update when it's over and let me know if anyone out-rednecked that. I can't imagine how they could! Too awesome...

When we were kids, every year we'd cut 1/4 inch thick slices of the solid canned cranberry "sauce" and each of my brothers would try to eat a whole slice in a single bite. One year one brother lost it and spewed cranberry everywhere. Dad went and got a tape measure to record the cranberry spew distance for posterity. Ah, good times.

//christmas slashies!

we eat cake and get drunk.


/good enuff?

Hide until it is over; the atheist way.

The Airing of Grievances.

Back when I was a kid, we left out 'beer-and-cookies' rather than milk. When I asked why we always left out beer when my friends put out milk, my mom told me that santa liked beer better.

Does my stringing 10,000 christmas lights on the lawn to spell "BAH HUMBUG" count?

/Not really
//But I wish my wife would let me
///Ok, my young kids would probably be upset...
////Santa's not real, Junior

A Christmas at my folks house isn't complete without an arguement between at least 2 family members. Normally, it involves 4 or 5 of them. Oh, the topics vary from year to year and they are unexplainable. Man, I love my family.

We exchange presents with the residents of Alpha Centuari.

/Seriously though, we all get together for Christmas dinner and have chalupas.

Monkey Knife Fights


The ring leader is named Stabby McStabstab

Lederhosen, butter, and a very angry goat. Though I think I've said too much already.

Not a tradition, just a hilarious story...

I have a massive family, and, instead of doing a secret-santa thing, a few years ago, my grandmother decided to have a DVD exchange for all of the cousins under 18. There were about 12 of us between 16 and 18, so we just went out and bought Good movies. almost all were R-rated.

Unfortunately, we all forgot about our eight year old cousin from Minnesota who most of us were meeting for the first time. She brought Toy Story 2... and she recieved South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. Her parents thought it was a nice, happy cartoon, and none of us smartasshat kids said a word about it.

A week later, my mother got a VERY angry phone call from my aunt. I was grounded for two weeks.

we trade gifts. this year we are trading leather.

z_gringo: The Gay Elf Song and Dance. But it is strictly FAMILY ONLY.

My German family calls this G-11-6.

/say it in German

Donald_McRonald
The Airing of Grievances.

That's probably the most realistic one I've seen.
Merry Xmas my friend.

sixpence in the christmas pud!

/unusual in the states anyhow

I get to have sex-

/married

vandalizing all the holiday yard displays at 12:01 am on the 26th. Christmas is over, time to take that shiat down.

/it's not vandalism really, it's community service.

I'm hundreds of miles away from my family, so this year I'm starting a new tradition involving a bottle of Belvedere, a bottle of dry vermouth, and lots of olives.

I've got a dog, I don't need family.

watch the mother in law get stonned and biatch @ everyone

needless to say the drunker i am the funnier it is

The feats of strength and the airing of grievances.

A vote for me is a vote for a Festivus for the rest of us!

Watching the Yule Log on WPIX.

Gotta watch "Christmas Vacation"

/Love that movie
//Hey kids look, a deer!

Mom always puts oranges in our stockings. It's a German tradition for good luck in the new year.

Up north, my family all gets together to play Bunko and steal presents from each other. And then they have a hunt to find a special ornament so one of the kids gets an extra present. They practically kill each other over it.

Beating everyone celebrating festivus with a metal pole.

Brought my family close togeather for many-a-year. sniff.

Ever since my brothers and I were young, we would always get up at exactly 6:01 am, due in part to our mother's contant biatching about, "DON'T YOU DARE GET UP AT 6:00 IN THE GODDAMN MORNING!!"

So, one year, we set the alarm to wake us up (it was hell to get it set exactly) at 6:01am...and we've done that ever since...even though we are old fogeys...

So, thanks, Mom, for being such a biatch during the Christmas Holidays and inadvertently starting a new tradition.