That is just beautiful.

Ladies & Gentlemen, we have a found a winner in the game of Life.

farking ell

I used to find a great deal of confusion as to the relationship between Arm & Hammer and Armand Hammer. (pops) I am prejudiced toward homophones.

Ya know, it passes the giggle test.

This is pure brilliance. I need to remodel my kitchen so I am mixing baking soda and gun powder and I am going to cook it in the oven. Then after the explosion, I am suing Arm & Hammer for not warning me about cooking with gun powder.

This guy failed to realize that if you use anything with cocaine you are going to prision.

Sugar and cocaine
Maple syrup with cocaine
Bacon and cocaine

The whole cocaine part is still illegal.

The lawyer who took that case should be in prison.

That site should use smaller scans of the documents....and don't worry, no need to make them straight...ugh

farktimenow: The lawyer who took that case should be in prison.

He is

a legal document that contains the phrase 'fine and dandy'.

i think the lawyer isn't being paid with money.

we think it might fly in the Ninth Circuit.

Or as it's better known, the Ninth Circus, the most overturned circuit court in the land. Loaded with flaming liberal asshats who support the abolishment of personal responsibility.

$425 million is a LOT of crack.

I love the appeal notice..."You're not getting away with this shiat that easy."

woodstock: Bacon and cocaine

*Dries a tear* That's just...beautiful man...

BillCo:
Or as it's better known, the Ninth Circus, the most overturned circuit court in the land. Loaded with flaming liberal asshats who support the abolishment of personal responsibility.

Try to get your facts straight and you might not look like such a dumbass. Just because Falwell said it doesn't make it the truth from God's lips.

Wrong, wrong and wrong (pdf)

equilibrium: Just because Falwell said it doesn't make it the truth from God's lips.

Thanks. I didn't know about that particular lie.

jazzmajora: I am prejudiced toward homophones.

Does that make you homophonophobic?

Hahaha! BillCo got caught quoting that asshat Falwell!

woodstock: Bacon and cocaine

If nothing else, it makes for very amusing reading.

However, if Arm & Hammer ends up having to put a warning on their packages I will lose what little faith in humanity I have left.

Oh wow. Just... wow. Seriously.

i hope he wins.

The penalties on crack are designed to be much steeper than regular cocaine on account of white people not using it that much. I'd say they've accomplished their mission in the war on brown people. Er, drugs, I mean.

This borders heavily on the surreal.

Sad thing is, he'll probably win.

Yeah, those damn lawyers, always making up fancy terms like saying they're "pro se" or summin'.

Any court that allows this to get passed the first 2 minutes, needs to be blown up. The charges should say he was arrested for cocaine, if in fac it says this, then he has no chance, but if teh charge sheet says .. cocain mixed with Arm and Hammer, then fark he has a case.

BillCo

Or as it's better known, the Ninth Circus, the most overturned circuit court in the land. Loaded with flaming liberal asshats who support the abolishment of personal responsibility.

I don't know about that, but I do know those asshats overturned a decision which then forced me to take a case all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court.

I won, but it still pissed me off.

He does have a point thou, kinda

Cocaine laws are farked up

If you are caught with possesion of cocaine the min sentace is community service

If you are caught with crack cocaine(just cocaine mixed with baking soda) the min sentance is 5 years



/Cant think of any other reason than cocaine is usually used by white folks, and crack cocaine is used primarly by blacks. I'd REALLY like to hear a better reason

The paraphernalia laws are so ridiculous, anything's possible.

Cant think of any other reason than cocaine is usually used by white folks, and crack cocaine is used primarly by blacks

LOL

Maybe it's because crack carries a strong punch in a tiny package, and it's cheap (and thus more easily obtainable).

(sarcasm ahead)
...Nah, that can't be it. It must be just a racial thing.
(end sarcasm)

Because of the cocaine laws bonfarmer mentions (which the crackhead mentions in his case too), there is a chance this case might be considered.

For all you guys wondering about the lawyers, in case moof's remark went over your head -- plaintiff/prisoner is acting as his own lawyer, and wrote the claim himself. Read it -- it lies somewhere between crackpot and genius.

Note the envious comments from the lawyers on the site.

His point isn't that he's not responsible for making the drugs or being a criminal, it's that by simply adding baking soda to his drugs, his sentence went through the roof, and he thinks the baking soda company should have warned him of this. Specially since, he claims, Arm & Hammer makes a substantial part of their sales to crack makers.

He'll never win, but he's got a lot of chutzpah.

bongfarmer

Maybe the fact that crack cocaine is much, much more addictive? Maybe?

heap:
a legal document that contains the phrase 'fine and dandy'.

i think the lawyer isn't being paid with money.

I think the lawyer is paid with nose candy.

That, and not having to be someone's honey.

// not a poet, and this shows it

bongfarmer: I'd REALLY like to hear a better reason

Try both. Then you'll understand.

/never tried bacon and cocaine though. That sounds like crack on steroids.

bongfarmer

That's one hell of a "Whitey Gonna Kill Me" conspiracy you got there. To be honest, I don't see why anyone that's going to get hooked on a cocaine product would even consider going with crack. I mean, obviously both substances are going to be cut to some degree, but you're going to side with the one that is without a doubt cut all to hell and might not even be cocaine at all? Yeah. I think getting stupid people off the street would be a little more logical in my book than "black people do crack, that's why it's so illegal". Not that I care. Cokeheads can kiss my ass.

/pothead

Why don't we just assign the death penalty to any drug charge? No arrests. No trials. Just simple justice.

Selling crack to kids? BOOM! Headshot.

Hiding 400kg of pot in your car? BOOM! Headshot.

Caught smoking a joint? BOOM! Headshot.

/Known some people that died from OD or DUI

I'm willing to bet the stiffer sentences associated with crack vs coke have little to do with race, and more to do with money. Poor people do crack. Poor people go to jail longer than rich people.

just a guess. could be wrong.

Didn't know there was such a differance, I thought they were basically the same but crack was much cheaper

yeah, if adding baking soda makes it a much harsher drug(changing it chemically) its a ridiculus lawsuit. "I didn't know that by taking these simple over the counter chemicals and mixing them in my chem lab I'd go to jail!"

cocaine = minimal externalities (e.g. users still go to work, don't commit crimes to obtain, etc.)

crack = ravages communities. it isn't suburbanites who push for tough crack penalties, its inner city folks. suburbanites couldn't care less what happens in the ghetto. not their problem. but if you live in the ghetto, and those people are ruining your community, you want them out, and out for a long time.

ask an urban criminal defense lawyer who they would rather have on the jury for a drug/gun case where a young kid from the ghetto is on trial - a middle aged resident of the same poor neighborhood, or a more professional type from a better neighborhood. (the answer is the professional type - much more apt to "give them another chance")

stop snitching isn't doing anyone any favors except for young thugs - and the people hurt by it aren't suburbanities - its the law abiding residents who have nowhere else to flee.

*meth lab

/retracts previous statement

bongfarmer

Cant think of any other reason than cocaine is usually used by white folks, and crack cocaine is used primarly by blacks. I'd REALLY like to hear a better reason

There are differences in portability, ease of distribution and the method of ingestion. Yeah they both forms have the same active ingredient but there's quite a difference in the delivery. Tequila vs a wine cooler if you will.

I'm not denying that race isn't an issue but you're argueing the case that opium, morphine and heroin should be treated equally because they have the same active ingredient and ignoring the other features that make them different.

Hmmm. I never thought about how they make crack. They use baking soda! I must get to work...

unavailable for comment.

/it wasnt me Rhonda

It is not reasonably forseeable that Arm & Hammer's product will primarily be used in an illegal manner, and is not marketed or promoted as such. Just as it is equally unreasonable to assume that blank video tapes will be used to record kiddie-porn. The willful engaging in an illegal activity is what tips the scales here. It's a no-brainer... Someone be sure to post a follow-up noting the failure of the suit so we can all see that it's just another nuisance drummed up by bored prisoners. Laws should be passed restricting civil suits filed from prison to those involving the corrections system or their own criminal cases. I remember seeing one filed somewhere by a guy suing a restaurant because his mother fell ill and couldn't visit him... as if visitation is a *right*... it's not and such a suit shouldn't even be allowed to leave the prison doors.

Yeah, okami36, that's a great idea! Caught with your prescription drugs, but can't produce your valid prescription fast enough? BOOM! Headshot. Purchasing marijuana because it's the only thing that takes your mind off the cancer you have? BOOM! Headshot. Great idea! 20 year old drinking a beer? BOOM! Headshot. 16 year old caught with a cigarette? BOOM! Headshot.

I can do this all day long.

/drugs shouldn't be illegal
/stupidity should

Crack is horrible! yet despite the valiant efforts of the DEA in bankrupting and jailing hardened criminals like Sam Zhadanov ( a guy who made small plastic perfume bottles that the DEA alleged could be used to sell crack ) there are still crackheads everywhere. One thing that most people don't understand is that crack does not make people carry guns. Crack doesn't make people rob your house. You can thank the government for that. Instead of having the good sense to let these idiots get farked up cheaply in private, where they are a threat only to themselves, the government creates a culture which allows gangs to thrive ( $$$ ), adds an alluring mystique to drug culture for young impressionable people, and keeps the jails and law enforcement GROSSLY inflated all while charging you higher taxes to take away your liberty!

God bless america

This guys whole problem:

He was using name brand baking soda.

Any crack dealer cutting coke knows you buy generic.

okami36 -- a joint??


/Known some people that died from OD or DUI -- who doesn't.

I like the
The Plaintiff contends there is no shenanigans to this suit
Just like reading shenanigans in legal proceedngs.

This guy has 0% chance of winning. He would have a better chance if he went after manufacturers of small glass pipes or whatever they use to smoke it.

costa: Crack doesn't make people rob your house.

Oh, yes it does. There is not much a crackhead will not do for more crack. It makes heroin look recreational.