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(ABC 4 Utah) Dumbass After his cell phone is stolen, man sends text message to burglar offering to meet and give him $300 in exchange for the return of his phone. Hilarity ensues   (abc4.com) divider line 91
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stingrza [TotalFark] 2006-10-17 07:27:01 PM  
"Randy, I really want my phone back. I'll pay you $300 for the phone right now."

 
KaponoFor3 [recently expired TotalFark] 2006-10-17 07:33:27 PM  
Stupid criminals are the best.

 
Scooby's'pawn 2006-10-17 07:58:47 PM  
KaponoFor3: Stupid criminals are the best.

Is there any other kind? Do you think the cops tell you about the ones that outsmart them? Funny how nobody ever gets away on COPS huh?

 
a17rwk 2006-10-17 08:39:46 PM  
Surprised it's not in Florida. Especially with names like those.

 
Dwight256 2006-10-17 08:40:15 PM  
Wllng 2 swap $ 4 phne, kk? ^^

PS 911 l01

 
Superrodan 2006-10-17 08:42:18 PM  
I've seen guys get away on COPS by making it to Mexico...

Also, he recognized the voice of his friend stealing his phone?

Some friend.

 
Stratos 2006-10-17 08:42:21 PM  
Smart crooks don't make it in the news.

 
groundhog 2006-10-17 08:42:42 PM  
I wonder if Randy is from Arizona?

 
eekmale 2006-10-17 08:42:51 PM  
They don't teach critical thinking skills in public school anymore.

 
Sique 2006-10-17 08:43:16 PM  
This ploy works every time

 
Howard Dean 2006-10-17 08:44:54 PM  
Sometimes it's like shooting fish on a sidewalk

 
DannySpaz 2006-10-17 08:45:01 PM  
It takes me 10-20 minutes to talk to 911 let alone convince them that I didn't deserved to get robbed. How this guy got the cops to show up suprises me.

 
vincent_blackshadow [TotalFark] 2006-10-17 08:47:07 PM  
when one of our baghdad cells got swiped, i msgd the thief that it had a gps chip & that the marines were now tracking him. the fone was on the doorstep the nxt morning...

 
Buufoo 2006-10-17 08:49:17 PM  
Scooby's'pawn: Is there any other kind? Do you think the cops tell you about the ones that outsmart them? Funny how nobody ever gets away on COPS huh?


I actually saw an episode of one of those "wildest police chases" shows where the suspect clearly got away, but they replayed some footage from earlier in the chase to make it look like he got caught.



The robbers left, but Jared and Cooper thought they may have recognized one of the voices as a friend who had stayed with them for a couple of weeks before.

Makes me wonder. Would any of my friends do that to me? I have several old friends whom I would gladly let stay with me if they came upon hard times. I would even let the girls stay in my room. But would they just be casing my place? How well do we know our "friends"? Here's another article from yesterday about some guy who got his gold teeth stolen out of his mouth while he was sleeping and the suspect is a friend that was staying over. Hmmmm.

 
Sivart832z 2006-10-17 08:50:21 PM  
Personally, I would have sent a message to the phone that appeared as though it were intended for the original owner. Pretend someone wanted the original owner to meet them at a certain place/time for some sorta exchange that would probably involve a bunch of money or something...

 
skinink 2006-10-17 08:53:51 PM  
"U r going t0 get t3h buttsecks in ja1l n0w id-10t!"

 
Lamune_Baba 2006-10-17 08:58:59 PM  
Scooby's'pawn

KaponoFor3: Stupid criminals are the best.

Is there any other kind?


Of course. Politicians, CEOs, Lawyers... we have a number of professional criminals who get away with much more profitable scams every day.

 
Galen_Rasputin 2006-10-17 09:00:21 PM  
Must have been pot smokers, they are the dumbest farkers on the face of the earth.

 
Relatively Obscure [TotalFark] 2006-10-17 09:04:38 PM  
It takes me 10-20 minutes to talk to 911 let alone convince them that I didn't deserved to get robbed. How this guy got the cops to show up suprises me.

Interesting. If I call the police, I can practically just ask for them to send an officer just because I want them to, and they will. It has never taken more than 15 minutes for one to show up, and that was for what I already told the dispatcher was a complete non-emergency.

I've certainly never had to convince anyone that I did or didn't deserve anything.

 
ludditemike 2006-10-17 09:04:54 PM  
Galen_Rasputin: Must have been pot smokers, they are the dumbest farkers on the face of the earth.

What drug do you use? Cause the folks that use that drug are the worst trolls ever. Seriously, bad.

/Not good.

 
nucular_option 2006-10-17 09:04:58 PM  
Someone please post the image of Gary Larson's FarSide of "Midvale School for the Gifted"

/great cartoon

 
filthypond [TotalFark] 2006-10-17 09:05:50 PM  
This isn't news - the guy knew who had stolen the phone! It IS funny though.

 
Relatively Obscure [TotalFark] 2006-10-17 09:06:04 PM  
On another note, the label "friend" is sometimes applied a bit too loosely.

 
nytmare 2006-10-17 09:06:06 PM  
The announcer just completely makes stuff up on those chase video compilations.

 
Phil McKraken 2006-10-17 09:06:45 PM  
www.biology.ed.ac.uk

Thanks GIS, pt. 2

 
misanthropic1 2006-10-17 09:08:14 PM  
Galen_Rasputin,

I'm amazed your from a major city, is St Louis a magic crack-free zone? I suggest you get out more...

 
elliothtz 2006-10-17 09:09:11 PM  
Goddamn you McKracken! I was just reaching for that. I even had the shirt back in high school.

 
Alyna_jf 2006-10-17 09:09:16 PM  
omg thats awesome

 
ClipJoint 2006-10-17 09:09:59 PM  
As for Jared and Cooper, they think it is pretty funny that their plan worked and the two suspects fell for the bait

Pretty funny? I find it fall down hilarious. Crime doesn't pay kids.

 
PerfectStorm 2006-10-17 09:11:16 PM  
A fool and his stolen cell phone are soon parted...

 
Evil 2006-10-17 09:11:28 PM  
www.accesswave.ca

 
bipolar 2006-10-17 09:12:14 PM  
Scooby's'pawn: Is there any other kind? Do you think the cops tell you about the ones that outsmart them? Funny how nobody ever gets away on COPS huh?

Actually, a study done some time back showed that the average IQ of people in jail was equivalent to that of the general populace. Now, those are the criminals dumb enough to get caught, with the obvious implication that those who get away with crime are even smarter.

 
zalasur [TotalFark] 2006-10-17 09:15:32 PM  
Buufoo: Here's another article from yesterday about some guy who got his gold teeth stolen out of his mouth while he was sleeping and the suspect is a friend that was staying over. Hmmmm.

Dude, how drunk do you have to be to sleep through having your teeth removed?

 
piltdown 2006-10-17 09:18:48 PM  
Pot smokers aren't this stupid.

Now METH users on the other hand......

 
Vosh 2006-10-17 09:24:04 PM  
It will be funny for as long at the suspects are in jail. After that, trying to grow eyes in the backs of their heads will be funny.

/release all nonviolent convicts, keep all violent ones inside forever.

 
wdgiles 2006-10-17 09:24:46 PM  
There are Pros and there are Cons for every situation. The cons just got caught.

 
DrBrownCow 2006-10-17 09:25:43 PM  
One of the drawbacks to having the pad where everybody hangs out is that a lot of "friends of friends" end up casing the place.

 
8ctopus 2006-10-17 09:26:19 PM  
randall and cooper scraight outta eu-taw!!!

 
ClipJoint 2006-10-17 09:26:46 PM  
piltdown

Pot smokers aren't this stupid.

Now METH users on the other hand......


Try living a few hours drive from Bakersfield and Riverside in CA...you'll see how shiatty meth cooks and users can really be. And you are right on...they are the stupidest people on the face of the Earth.

 
Badafuco 2006-10-17 09:31:32 PM  
Wouldn't it be great if in trials like the one about to ensue, the victims got to c*ckpunch the defendents before they are taken away to jail. Kind of a restitution payment.

I know, innocent until proven guilty.

 
King Keepo 2006-10-17 09:33:09 PM  
I had mine stolen and my friend called them and started mouthing off about how they were on CCTV, how she knew who they were and that the next time she saw them at the pub they were going to get a swift kick in the nuts. It was handed in the next day.

 
Aeonite [TotalFark] 2006-10-17 09:34:45 PM  
Here is the thing I always wonder about in situations like this. Bravo for the victim, how clever, etc etc. But now these bad guys are going to go away to jail for what, a few years, and they'll have all that time to stew in there, and when they get out, guess whose ass they're going to go kick?

 
Adman12 [TotalFark] 2006-10-17 09:42:04 PM  
i8.photobucket.com

"Randy, I really want my phone back. I'll pay you $300 for the phone right now."

 
johntonia 2006-10-17 09:45:30 PM  
why the fark would they steal their cellphones anyways?

/hates cellphones

 
mLayth 2006-10-17 09:46:06 PM  
I don't know of any crystal meth users. (Thats speed right?)
Hah, I'm obviously that not in that world but what are the stereotype behaviors for meth users that you're talking about?

This is all theory of course, but what do you find stupider?
People who can be fooled by others, or people who can not otherwise manage their lives.

 
phillydrifter 2006-10-17 09:46:27 PM  
Galen_Rasputin: Must have been pot smokers, they are the dumbest farkers on the face of the earth.

Yeah, that must be how they become presidents.

 
illicit 2006-10-17 09:47:15 PM  
ClipJoint

Try living a few hours drive from Bakersfield and Riverside in CA...you'll see how shiatty meth cooks and users can really be. And you are right on...they are the stupidest people on the face of the Earth.

Considering what brain cells that haven't already died are on the fritz when one is whacked out on meth, you can't expect tweakers to be too sharp. Or rational.

 
Fireproof 2006-10-17 09:47:48 PM  
Galen_Rasputin: Must have been pot smokers, they are the dumbest farkers on the face of the earth.

Were you around for the story of the teen selling pot via text messages (presumably to random people)? His mugshot was priceless, and made for some good photoshopping:

img141.imageshack.us

 
illicit 2006-10-17 09:49:15 PM  
Yeah, that must be how they become presidents.

Wow, it took 47 posts before someone bashed the president. You guys must be slipping.

 
CerberusTheHitman 2006-10-17 09:54:26 PM  
Well you have to be pretty stupid to even be a criminal. I mean, really, if you were smart, you'd have gotten a really great paying job and stuff.

 
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