If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Fark SearchWeb Fark

         more options... Create account

(KVIA) Hero 89-year old grandmother encounters home invasion burglar. Doesn't have any milk and cookies to offer, but is gracious enough to share a very large can o' whoop-ass   (kvia.com) divider line 47
More: Hero  
•       •       •

15911 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Aug 2006 at 12:34 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

47 Comments   (+0 »)


Archived thread
 
Fark It [TotalFark] 2006-08-13 12:38:27 PM  
The burglar's lucky Granny didn't pull a .38 special out of her purse and shoot him in the face.

 
YouPeopleAreCrazy 2006-08-13 12:39:11 PM  
Good for you, Granny.

/git offa my lawn and git outta my house

 
NiceBeaver 2006-08-13 12:39:11 PM  
That guy is the biggest pu**y ever. I hope he gets caught next time so that he can ge totally whored out in PMITA prison.

/Now his name is just 'Twan

 
NatalieHershlag 2006-08-13 12:39:13 PM  
burglar was either japanese or american

 
Graystone2000 2006-08-13 12:43:53 PM  
The Burglar's daughters lucky granny's dog didn't pull a .38 special out of his purse and shoot the cat in the face.

 
Torgo the White 2006-08-13 12:46:33 PM  
I thought at first she'd pulled out a taser or some nunchucks, but no, she just bare-knuckled the farker.

You go, extremely old girl. On behalf of all men, we approve of you going for his grapes next time.

 
SAvoodoo 2006-08-13 12:48:20 PM  
This thread is lucky I don't pull a .38 special out of my purse and shoot it in the face.

 
Mr Rusty Shackleford [recently expired TotalFark] 2006-08-13 12:49:21 PM  
Am I the only one here wondering what happens if both granny and the burglar pull out .38 specials at the same time?

 
Lar Jorgen 2006-08-13 12:50:07 PM  
No mention about how her hairdo held up. My granny woulda mopped the floor with him just for messing up her new 'do!

/very fussy about her hair

 
smeegle [recently expired TotalFark] 2006-08-13 12:54:33 PM  
The attacker knocked the 89-year-old grandmother down

major dickhead

 
Fark It [TotalFark] 2006-08-13 12:55:49 PM  
Mr Rusty Shackleford

Am I the only one here wondering what happens if both granny and the burglar pull out .38 specials at the same time?

There was a really bad Alec Baldwin movie (I think it was The Shadow) where Baldwin and a bad guy shoot at each other and the bullets collide in mid-air.

/it's so bad it's not on TV, and it's not worth renting

 
NutWrench 2006-08-13 12:56:09 PM  
That burglar is lucky I didn't strap him to a chair and jump-start his nuts with a car battery.

/And shoot him in the face!

 
I.M.Hungwell 2006-08-13 01:01:40 PM  
Everyone is lucky I don't pull down my pants and shiat in their face.

 
real shaman [TotalFark] 2006-08-13 01:15:11 PM  
shoulda hadda gun. much more hilarity

 
coretnor 2006-08-13 01:15:50 PM  
The Granny is lucky the burglar didn't pull a .38 special out of his pants and shoot her in the face.

 
portscanner 2006-08-13 01:38:23 PM  
Another case of a homeowner stepping over the line. She should have left the house, called the police and let them handle it. The constant vigilante justice in the US needs to stop.

 
i green eye 2006-08-13 01:49:49 PM  
Nothing cooler than a badass granny.

/yay vigilante justice!

 
Nasti Asti 2006-08-13 01:51:28 PM  
You can bet that Grandma Marie can crap taller than most men. Besides who packs heat to the beauty salon, just keeping it real dudes.

 
TerminalEchoes 2006-08-13 01:51:28 PM  
The burglar is lucky that granny didn't pull her pants out of the .38 Special and...oh nevermind.

 
castufari 2006-08-13 01:53:37 PM  
Another case of a homeowner stepping over the line. She should have left the house, called the police and let them handle it. The constant vigilante justice in the US needs to stop.

Ever been to Durham, NC? It's a mid Atlantic version of NOLA.

 
deltabourne 2006-08-13 01:54:24 PM  
Countdown until someone says this doesn't deserve the hero tag for some stupid reason? 3... 2... 1...

 
Vosh 2006-08-13 02:07:02 PM  
portscanner,

Another case of a homeowner stepping over the line. She should have left the house, called the police and let them handle it. The constant vigilante justice in the US needs to stop.

She probably knew the intruder; probably a local in the 'hood, one of the kids that hang around.

 
Alexandra 2006-08-13 02:09:25 PM  
"Home invasion burglar," Smitty?

Go Granny!

 
Ghastly [TotalFark] 2006-08-13 02:15:02 PM  
There's a reason why you tend to hear a lot of stories about the elderly opening up a can of viscious whoop-ass on would-be bad guys.

They're old, they've lived full lives, they have very little time left to lose and given the choice between going down swinging and dieing in a nursing home bed long after their mental faculties have left them, hooked up to tubes and machines a surprising number of them will chose for the going down swinging option.

There something wonderfully hopeful whenever I hear these stories of senior citizens beating the crap out of much younger would-be robbers. I salute you, fiesty seniors, and promise to keep off your lawn.

 
Evilbeefchan 2006-08-13 02:15:11 PM  
The burglar's lucky Granny didn't pull a .38 special out of her purse and start to ROCK THE F*** OUT!~

img.photobucket.com

/nobody wants to get their ass beat to a soundtrack

 
BioStormX 2006-08-13 02:24:48 PM  
I love stories like this.

 
Redsrevenge 2006-08-13 02:30:10 PM  
Go go gadget grandma!

Gee, what a cawk. Knocking down some ninety year old woman. He's lucky I didn't pull out a .38 secial out of my eyes, laser-style.

 
fark2105 [TotalFark] 2006-08-13 02:30:42 PM  
Evilbeefchan-

Great .38 special reference

He is very lucky she didn't reach up and "hold on loosely" or stick her .38 special where it would get "caught up in you"

 
Morrigan Sedai 2006-08-13 02:37:37 PM  
Maybe the guy didn't want to hurt the old granny so he didn't fight much?

Then again, he still should have been able to immobilize her and prevent her from "retreating", so yeah, he's probably a wimp. ;)

 
craigzy 2006-08-13 02:52:20 PM  
that biatch cool.

 
Eidolon 2006-08-13 02:56:36 PM  
These people aren't heroes by any stretch. Cool? Sure, they're some badasses. But heroes for defending their own property? I hope the definition of hero hasn't sunk that low.

 
kb7rky 2006-08-13 03:01:28 PM  
The sumbiatch is lucky I don't hunt his farking ass down and put more holes in him than Swiss Cheese

/you go, gramma
//I'll buy the bullets for ya

 
YouPeopleAreCrazy 2006-08-13 03:06:04 PM  
Eidolon: But heroes for defending their own property?

Instead of cowering in fear. she takes on someone twice her size and 1/4 her age? Yeah, that's a hero in my book.

 
Gormenghast [TotalFark] 2006-08-13 03:10:15 PM  
img70.imageshack.us

 
vampiresareundeadpeople2 2006-08-13 03:12:04 PM  
Go granny go!

 
edschurr 2006-08-13 03:27:18 PM  
The article only features her side of the story. For all we know, the burglar just came inside to grab her car keys, pushed her out of the way when he saw her and left. Or, granny left the car keys in the car, and then fell down and made the whole thing up. The elderly like attention.

 
philzli 2006-08-13 04:45:10 PM  
I'd hi.. nah.. I would not.

 
chaddsfarkprefect 2006-08-13 04:54:52 PM  
This thread makes me want to shoot someone in the face.

/I took a swing at a cop
//Why am I angry all the time

 
ghare 2006-08-13 05:49:13 PM  
You little-dick bastards need guns to protect yourself. Gramma just kicks ass.

 
upsdrvr 2006-08-13 07:24:29 PM  
portscanner- Did you RTFA? She walked in on the guy and he knocked her down. It wasn't a case where she walked up to the house and could see someone had broken in.

 
Day_Old_Dutchie 2006-08-13 09:41:56 PM  
img150.imageshack.us

 
You're a Mean Drunk R2D2 2006-08-13 10:27:00 PM  
Well, good for granny, but it wasn't *that* big of a can of whoop-ass.

 
Exile On Beale St. 2006-08-13 11:26:29 PM  
Not as good as this old Mississippi gal. Enjoy.

http://rock103.com/pages/crew/listen/asf/whosthevictim.asf

 
All Apologies 2006-08-14 01:35:11 AM  
I'm sure that profiling midgets would offend someone.

/watch for terrorist midgets.

 
All Apologies 2006-08-14 01:36:24 AM  
Really, if someone were to have a gripe, would it be so odd to come across a disgruntled midget?

 
All Apologies 2006-08-14 01:37:42 AM  
wrong motherfarking thread. Old ladies are tasty. Get your mind out of the gutter.

 
Robert_Banana 2006-08-14 12:25:10 PM  
You're a Mean Drunk R2D2
Well, good for granny, but it wasn't *that* big of a can of whoop-ass.


It was a small Flavor-Fresh microwave pouch of whoopass.

 
Displayed 47 of 47 comments


[Continue Farking]