So what perks does being the leader of Farkistan give you? I mean, aside from being a member of Ultr-*#%$$^^*&(&*&%&$^$#$*)*(*##$%#
++ NO CARRIER

A new joke! Awesome!

Saparmurat Niyaznov does not sleep, he waits.

I sure do love me some mellons! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mellons

President? Don't you mean dictator? After all, if it's for "life"...

I am a President for Life. I rely on terror and oppression because people plot against me.

/Melon Day - meesa like nice big round melons
// It's good to be the king.

Maui Haui: I sure do love me some mellons! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mellons

Ask and you shall receive.

The realization that political leaders everywhere, and throughout time, have had to do ordinary and silly things to stay in power, is quite an eye opener.

Back in the early days of Nazi Germany, there was a magazine called "Signal", which was the German equivalent to "Life" magazine in the US. In a collection of "The Best of Signal", there are bizarre pictures of Hitler doing the ordinary political things that most politicians do.

Two I remember were him giving out a blue ribbon to a Housefrau who had made a prize-winning meat loaf, and his attending the opening of a new Autobahn onramp.

Kind of hard to think of him doing stuff like that.

"...and you make melon bombs, just for me?"

Look at the SIZE of those mellons....

GIS for nice mellons



That was disappointing.

Found out ages ago

whammer: Back in the early days of Nazi Germany, there was a magazine called "Signal", which was the German equivalent to "Life" magazine in the US. In a collection of "The Best of Signal", there are bizarre pictures of Hitler doing the ordinary political things that most politicians do.

I think i have a copy of "the best of signal" lying around

They say "You can't walk in Turkmenistan!" I say "Oh yes I can, screw you!"

What a country!

His job sounds alot more fun than mine.

Oh, that guy. Look him up on Wikipedia, he's done some pretty surreal stuff. Among other things, in the Turkmen language, the word for bread is named after his mother.

Maybe when Bush prolongs his presidency with a state of emergency, he'll take a lesson: Melon day.

alienchickenpie:
....Among other things, in the Turkmen language, the word for bread is named after his mother.

it is all bullshiat i say. some bastards just makes that up, and buncha cruncha others just believe it.~ Never believe if you have not seen with your own eyes - Avisenna

My favourite is the Neutrality Arch, which has at its top, a gold-plated statue of Niyazov. The statue rotates once every 24 hours so as to always be facing the sun.

He has also written a national epic for Turkmenistan, the Ruhnama. According to Wikipedia:

"In March 2006 Niyazov was recorded as saying that he had interceded with Allah to ensure that any student who reads the book three times would automatically get into paradise.

An enormous mechanical replica of the book is located in the capital; every night at 8:00PM it opens and passages are recited with accompanying video."

My favorite bit from this guy:

A traditional fondness for gold - coupled with bad standards of dentistry - mean gold teeth are relatively common in Turkmenistan.

According to President Niyazov, however, it is best to stick with one's original teeth.

"I watched young dogs when I was young. They were given bones to gnaw," he told the audience at Tuesday's ceremony.

"Those of you whose teeth have fallen out did not gnaw on bones. This is my advice," he said, according the Interfax news agency.

He named a month after his mom, too.

wpmulligan

Maybe you should try the proper spelling, "melons".

/dur

Guess he has the biggest melons in all Turkmenistan.

/rhymes with Farkistan... sort of

Niyazov seems as crazy as Stalin.

Didn't he rename various months of the calendar for himself?



/Thermidor, anyone?

Stop! you can't walk in Turkmenistan

/obscure?

TheVampire: President? Don't you mean dictator? After all, if it's for "life"...

A dictator is a supreme ruler, not a life-time assignment, though it usually tends to be because, well...you don't have to hold elections. Ceasar, for example, was chosen Dictator for a 4-year period by the senate before he made himself emperor.

Mitch Taylor:
Something strange happened to me this morning.

Chris Knight:
Was it a dream where you see yourself in, sort of, Sun God robes, on a pyramid, with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?

Mitch Taylor:
No.

Chris Knight:
Why am I the only person that has that dream?

I came in here to make a Chuck Norris joke, but I see that I had been beaten to it. Touche, Cthulus_Toaster, touche.

4) Must be fit to run a hardware store.

Captain Picard never had a melon named after him on Captain Picard Day.

Wahwahweewah!

Melons, he farks like his balls are the size of god damn melons, man.