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(News.com.au) Amusing "A good penis size can compensate for other character flaws"   (theage.com.au) divider line 260
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blackhalo 2006-08-13 06:10:41 AM  
obvious?

 
Vin Diesel 2006-08-13 10:01:28 AM  
Says Dr Michael Flood, researcher in gender studies at La Trobe University: "The men who are trying to make their penises bigger are playing out the key messages we give men: sex is about your penis. So it's not surprising that some men go to great lengths to fulfil that ideal."

Is he saying sex (except for lesbians) isn't about the penis? Or that this idea that women want a big penis is imaginary?

Why do authorities on this subject seem to have this tacit agreement to lie their asses off anytime it's brought up in public?

 
Bob Down 2006-08-13 10:32:06 AM  
Man, I can't win

 
shady_lady 2006-08-13 12:20:25 PM  
This is typical Australian press - trudging slowly yet surely to complete tabloidism. There are no more broadsheets in Oz - just crack stories that rely on sexual innuendo, xenophobia or celebrity/sports gossip. bleargh. aaaand on topic...

News flash: Relationships are a trade-off. Where's Ric Romero? Men dedicate way too much time to worrying about the size of their wangs - time that could be better spent becoming a better lover/person and therefore getting laid more often anyway. What sort of woman wants to be with a guy obsesses about the size of his ding-a-ling? As long as we've got more to work with than a 'champignon' we're fine.

/Men care WAY more about penis size than women.
//Confidence, consideration & know-how trump inches

 
OhTeddyWhy [TotalFark] 2006-08-13 12:29:58 PM  
I've got a dick that I brag about.
I put it in fast then I drag it out.
Girls, I'll be the special friend see,
Cause your man suffers from pseudo-penis envy.
I do damage, Oh, Uhm.
The Sugar Dick is guaranteed to make you come
.

Mista Lawnge, penis expert.

 
brysky [TotalFark] 2006-08-13 12:43:24 PM  
shady_lady: Men care WAY more about penis size than women.

You rant like that and you live in Bangkok?

 
SchlingFo 2006-08-13 01:38:45 PM  
Vin Diesel,

Is he saying sex (except for lesbians) isn't about the penis? Or that this idea that women want a big penis is imaginary?

Why do authorities on this subject seem to have this tacit agreement to lie their asses off anytime it's brought up in public?


If these guys are lying, then women must have a tacit agreement to lie their asses off about penis size and sex.

As long as it's not the size of a pinky or the size of a baby's arm, most women I've known in my life don't really care about the size.

Everyone has different preferences. Some dudes only want chicks with 38FFF tits. Most dudes don't care, so long as the girl has some tits they can grab onto.

Likewise, some chicks only want dudes with 12" schlongs. Most women don't care, so long as the guy has something reasonable to work with.

If you're under the impression that sex is only about the size of your cock, you're missing out on a lot, and your partners are missing out on even more.

 
Squidfartz 2006-08-13 02:02:50 PM  
Ain't it the truth.

/always worked for me

 
Spectrum 2006-08-13 02:03:52 PM  
I had my penis enlarged to compensate for my small car.

 
bbcrackmonkey 2006-08-13 02:05:46 PM  
My penis is really big, and lemme tell ya, the length and girth of it are no fun when you can't have sex with a girl without her constantly telling you how much it hurts. Really ruins the moment. Only girls I can have sex with normally are total whores, and I'm just not a whorefarker. This is a serious issue between my girlfriend and I. In the future I might actually have to get penis reduction surgery because it just hurts her (and my other partners I've had) too much.

 
Richard Pye 2006-08-13 02:06:28 PM  
I am an enormous dick.

 
ComicBookGuy 2006-08-13 02:07:15 PM  
Well, I'm glad all my back pain from supporting my enormously large penis counts for something.

 
justanotherfarkinfarker 2006-08-13 02:08:30 PM  
Tell me about it. Huge dick, and I'm a huge dick. doesn't work well for dating.

 
Jin Verde 2006-08-13 02:08:31 PM  
Spectrum, if penis size correlates to car size, what does that say about the US?

Ladies, watch out for men wearing yellow ribbons or American flags. They're lying about something.

 
Athaena 2006-08-13 02:08:47 PM  
"A good penis size can compensate for other character flaws"

...but not unless its owner has some skill, and not for long.

/tmyk

 
ComicBookGuy 2006-08-13 02:09:04 PM  
Oh, and women LOVE guys w/ENORMOUS bank accounts!!!!!

/obvious
//true

 
ZzeusS 2006-08-13 02:09:29 PM  
My dick is so big, it has it's own zipcode!

My dick is so big, it has it's own dick!

My dick has it's own elevetor and foyer!

My dick...

 
stpickrell 2006-08-13 02:09:30 PM  
Penis size is one of those things women can use to hit below the belt so to speak.

If she doesn't like a guy, is getting bored with him or feels she rushed into a sexual situation too quickly, she can just say his cock is small and she is now in control.

 
AnyName 2006-08-13 02:10:01 PM  
The trouble is, if you get anxious, it only makes it smaller, to the point where it can disappear ... in cases where anxiety spirals into a panic attack.

I'm no John Holmes, but I've never even come close to having my dick disappear. Although I must admit that if it did I probably would have a panic attack.

 
rga184 2006-08-13 02:10:59 PM  
I knew we'd eventually get to somebody talking about all the problems their large penis causes them.

/yeah, sure
//did you produce "Queer as Folk" too?

 
aptracy 2006-08-13 02:11:14 PM  
Well, it's a good thing I am a great guy then, cause I am definitely hung like a gorilla.

 
Spectrum 2006-08-13 02:11:32 PM  
Jin Verde: Spectrum, if penis size correlates to car size, what does that say about the US?

It says that in the US, soccer moms have the biggest dicks of all.

 
Boomhauer 2006-08-13 02:11:44 PM  
ZzeusS: My dick is so big, it has it's own zipcode!

My dick is so big, it needs casters...

/I love Drew Carey

 
skinink 2006-08-13 02:11:51 PM  
Well, I'm not sure if my penis is long enough to compensate for my character flaws. I'll measure its size as soon as I unwrap it from around my ankle ...

 
Jin Verde 2006-08-13 02:12:29 PM  
It says that in the US, soccer moms have the biggest dicks of all.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

 
dupper 2006-08-13 02:13:35 PM  
A huge penis can also give people who are otherwise predisposed to being assholes the confidence and security to not be. True story, a good friend of mine...

On the other hand, when I eventually flip and go on a killing spree or invade Poland or something, you'll all know why.

 
_ 2006-08-13 02:14:17 PM  
2006-08-13 02:11:51 PM skinink

Well, I'm not sure if my penis is long enough to compensate for my character flaws. I'll measure its size as soon as I unwrap it from around my ankle ...


You got it caught in the taffy stretcher again, didn't you?

 
meshman 2006-08-13 02:15:40 PM  
wtf kind of article is this?:

"I'd already paid $106 for a month's supply of ProSolutions"

Penis enlargment drugs don't work Sherlock. If you opened the attachment on that spam email you'd know. Oh. You did. It figures.

"It's actually meaningless to measure the size of the penis because it varies from minute to minute according to the temperature and one's state of mind."

You measure it when it's hard for exactly that reason genius.

"The trouble is, if you get anxious, it only makes it smaller, to the point where it can disappear "

It disappears. Not trace at all. Those organs just pop right out of the body. Must be Jebus or something.

"There were people rushing through the streets holding their penises..."

I thought their penises disappeared?

What kind of... this is satire, right?

 
Nasti Asti 2006-08-13 02:16:54 PM  
Well for all you Farker dudes, who are enhanced like "BOB", I know a 26 year old bus driver in KC,Mo just waiting to blow your mind.

 
Frehar 2006-08-13 02:17:27 PM  
Shrinkage!

Like a frightened turtle.

/Poor George

 
Capt. Happy Hour [TotalFark] 2006-08-13 02:17:45 PM  
This is good news since I am a grade A asshole.

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2006-08-13 02:18:12 PM  
Meh, I'm hung pretty well and I have bad luck approaching women. If only it was socially acceptable to whip it out to get their attention like women can do by wearing somehting tight. But then you get put on a list and they warn neighborhoods about you...

 
totalsecurity 2006-08-13 02:18:45 PM  
"Will it be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway?"

/Not obscure

 
jdredd 2006-08-13 02:19:01 PM  
Where is Dirk Diggler?

 
Jin Verde 2006-08-13 02:19:07 PM  
2006-08-13 02:13:35 PM dupper

A huge penis can also give people who are otherwise predisposed to being assholes the confidence and security to not be. True story, a good friend of mine...

On the other hand, when I eventually flip and go on a killing spree or invade Poland or something, you'll all know why.


Now we know for sure where the WMDs were...

/yeah, I went there
//I don't need a blindfold and would prefer a hand rolled Havana thanks

 
farfigneugan [TotalFark] 2006-08-13 02:20:59 PM  
It's true.
/drtfa
//don't need to, but I'm serious

 
Unitarder 2006-08-13 02:21:03 PM  
It's true, that's why I put a smiley face sticker on the holster, to lighten the mood a little.

 
illustri 2006-08-13 02:21:24 PM  
well i have a wonderful personality

/sob

 
unfarkingbelievable 2006-08-13 02:21:44 PM  
I have the most incredible lover ever in my life -- and he ain't big -- it's everything else, foremost the love, best friendship and respect we have for each other -- that in and of itself is the most incredible aphrodisiac!

 
SharkUW 2006-08-13 02:22:21 PM  
Well, I've got 6" that shrinks down to 1.5" Why would I want to stretch this? I find it quite amusing to watch it grow.

 
Five Minute Standup 2006-08-13 02:22:35 PM  
content.collegehumor.com

I recently decided that my penis's name was Sgt. Grumbles. Because it's large, it's hairy, and it likes honeys.

GF was not amused.

 
krysbabe [TotalFark] 2006-08-13 02:23:59 PM  
Anything above 10 inches is a waste.

 
Bicycle safety tip 2006-08-13 02:27:23 PM  
TFA:
You'll find men apparently taking the pills, diligently jelqing (stretching a flaccid penis) and sharing how it's hanging.

I learned a new word.

 
quiefNpea 2006-08-13 02:27:48 PM  
What about large clitoris?

/ya know, my theory on small breasts=better sex seems to related to
//self-esteem!

 
Skip Whiffle 2006-08-13 02:28:29 PM  
img50.imageshack.us

 
craigzy 2006-08-13 02:28:40 PM  
thats unfarkingbelievable.

 
darkhorse23 [TotalFark] 2006-08-13 02:29:55 PM  
I have found, in my vast life experience, that the bigger the dick, the bigger the dick is that it's attached to.

 
farfigneugan [TotalFark] 2006-08-13 02:29:57 PM  
shady_lady: //Confidence, consideration & know-how trump inches

man! I just can't lose!!! this explains EVERYTHING!!!!

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2006-08-13 02:29:59 PM  
I put little army men around it to make it seem HUGE.

 
skrewewe 2006-08-13 02:30:34 PM  

 
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