Cool. I'd try it, but I have one of these (pops).

Quite possibly the most useful link ever posted on Fark.

Yep, it works.

I'm going to try 10 more times before the day is done.

Um....he wedged something under the cap.
That's all. I suppose it'd be a good trick to bet on with some drunk, but.....

What's with the dryer sheets next to the wine? Is that some sort of drinking trick I don't know about?

I enjoyed the 54 seconds it took the anal dude to fold the paper.

Jesus... too much work.

0: get beer
1: put cutting board on counter
2: catch bottle cap ridges on edge of cutting board
3: hold bottle firmly
4: firmly whack top of bottle, forcing bottle downward and prying off cap.
5: guzzle guzzle guzzle guzzle
6: go to step 0

I ca open one up with my ween, when hard.

i use my lighter, same concept, no folding required, and it's much smoother.

That's some lovely hand-acting.

blackhalo

Ditto, Bic wedged against thumb.

Looks like Shakey Jake really needs that beer.

Quite possibly the most useful link ever posted on Fark.

Bullshiat. If you're a guy who enjoys beer (and even that should redundant, but OK, not always), you should never be more than 10 seconds away from a real bottle opener. Put one on your keyring, keep one in your desk drawer, whatever. It's part of the code.

mmm negra modelo, my favorite...

Alternate method.

1. Write something tiny in the centre of the paper.
2. Ask somebody to read it out loud.
3. While they're distracted, trying to read the tiny text, smash the neck of the bottle on their head.
4. Wipe off any blood, and enjoy your tasty beverage.

My friend has flip flops with a bottle opener built into the sole. It is quite handy actually.

nightonthesun: mmm negra modelo, my favorite...


Yes....Definitely a good beer...

I have a bottle opener on my micro leatherman. If my pants are on, I have it in my pocket. If my pants aren't on, I'm either close to a bottle opener, or too busy to think about beer.

Eat More Possum: If my pants aren't on, I'm either close to a bottle opener, or too busy to think about beer. I use the opener God gave me.

There. Fixed it for me.

Eat More Possum: too busy to think about beer.

Unpossible!

The master carpenter I studied under showed me how to do it with a wooden folding rule and the heel of the hand.

That man could drink, too. And throw a temper fit.


.

Buy one of these and you'll look ten times cooler. Saw one for the first time today at the local "cool crap" shop and almost bought one (they're cheaper in stores, BTW).

Warchild - Winnar!

I want that man to have my babies.

I am woefully unimpressed. Why not use a lighter, a spoon, a table edge or mantle or one of the other thousand ways I've used in my life to open a beer?

Let me tell you as an alcoholic, there is no farking way I am anally folding a piece of paper when there are so many other things I could improvise with.

Is a $5 bill a piece of paper?

The bartender takes it, returns with an opened bottle of beer.

That's stupid. Opening a non twist-off cap is a basic drinking ability. Why make a song and dance out of it?

orrinbloquy: you'll look ten times cooler.

What about ten times more devout?



Yep, really have one.

The best part is the juxtaposition between the Pope's face and the mouth of Eddie from all the Iron Maiden album covers.

Reminded me of this guy:

Jane says: My friend has flip flops with a bottle opener built into the sole. It is quite handy actually.

Reef sandals (pops)

They have that style for women, too.

i was really hoping he'd get to the end of that video and after folding the paper, toss it aside and then grab a can opener, open the beer and then write "ta dah" on the paper.

much funnier in my head.

Dr.Knockboots: i was really hoping he'd get to the end of that video and after folding the paper, toss it aside and then grab a can opener, open the beer and then write "ta dah" on the paper.

much funnier in my head.

Hahaha, seriously by the 6th fold he was having so much trouble that I was sure he was about to throw the piece of paper away and smash the bottle open

If you don't know how to open a bottle of beer, then you should stick with kegs.

Or cans for the really stupid.

I have a can opener with a magnet on it. It lives stuck to the underside of the mouse drawer. I also have a bottle opener on my keychain. Keeps me from mauling my lighters.

This is too difficult. They should break it into two parts:

1. How to fold piece of paper.
2. How to use any solid object to open a beer.

too hard to do after about 4 beers.

I simply clamp the beer in my anus.

2006-08-07 12:11:45 AM Dr.Knockboots [TotalFark]

i was really hoping he'd get to the end of that video and after folding the paper, toss it aside and then grab a can opener, open the beer and then write "ta dah" on the paper.

much funnier in my head.

2006-08-07 12:28:12 AM Vin Diesel [TotalFark]

Dr.Knockboots: i was really hoping he'd get to the end of that video and after folding the paper, toss it aside and then grab a can opener, open the beer and then write "ta dah" on the paper.

much funnier in my head.

Hahaha, seriously by the 6th fold he was having so much trouble that I was sure he was about to throw the piece of paper away and smash the bottle open

I was leaning towards a blow torch, some dry ice and a little tnt.

The paper just doesnt have as much excitement that you would need at a party or a bar.

A minute and 56 seconds to open one farking beer... yeah, that's the ticket!

i think i have a bottle opener in every room of the house...

sad.

but what's even sadder is, i almost always drink beer in bottles with twist-off caps.

Or you could just hook the lip over the edge of someone else's formica counter and bang down on the top of the bottle.

Best.bottle.opener.evar.

Note this only works on imports as most domestic trash uses screw off caps.

I was just about to say, studebaker...

the sad thing is, I've seen it done a bunch of times, I've had it taught to me, and I still freakin' forget how to do it. Always look like an idiot for a good sixty seconds til I get it.

That said, I'd be more impressed if you could open a bottle of wine with a 8x11 piece of paper. I couldn't drink my nice Spanish red on Thursday 'cause the house I went to didn't have a corkscrew (lame)... but I thought ahead and brought a six-pack too.

Although once, freshman year, I did open a bottle with a knife. Managed to not shred the cork into the wine, but pushed the bottom bit of it into the bottle, so you had to hold it back with the knife while you poured.

Ah, memories.

If your ever in a situation where your only means to open a beer is a piece of paper, then you probably have bigger things to worry about.

I enjoyed that but you all should be grateful I haven't filmed everything I've used to open beer bottles with. I don't think I would have thought of a piece of paper, but anything that's slightly harder than the cap will do. Just work out a few of the cap dents and your golden.

/God rewards a patient drunk.

... funnier thing was, the house didn't have a bottle opener either, so when I got too drunk to manage the lighter, I had to keep going to my friend who had a opener on his belt.

He started looking a bit pissed off the fourth time I asked, but hey, if you're gonna have a bottle opener on your belt, you have to deal with it getting some use.

Still, good night all 'round, once the nice alcohol finally got out of the containers.

1: They totally needed to play Also sprach Zarathustra from 2001 when they filmed this video, then they should have had the dude throw the beer bottle up in the air.

2. What's with the box of Bounce right next to the wine???

Of course, the best technique for twist off caps remains using your forearm, and then firing the cap towards the trashcan or nearest person you dislike using a quick tensing of said arm.

/always cool, unless its not a twist cap and you twist off a circular patch of skin