"He is a very good man," Winthrop said.


If he lacks a penis then he's nearly a man, at best.

Nice judge....excellent use of the "fool for a client" line.

Joseph "Donald" Scordato

I read that as Scrodato and briefly thought that it was even funnier. Sounds like a lineup is in the works.

NJ is back on the map baby!

Serves him right for going off half-cocked.

"There is no information that would lead us to think that he is missing any body parts that men his age typically have," Calviello said.

A penis a body part that men do not typically have at what age?

Sounds like the Judge wants to see hard evidence.

/try the veal.

Men his age typically have?

I've had mine as long as I can remember. Is it going somewhere?

Interesting legal strategy. To disprove it, someone has to look at an 81-year-old penis.

There probably won't be many volunteers.

Perhaps an analogy is in order. As I once said, "Finger painting isn't much fun...if you don't have any fingers."

/used it in Frency class
//led to a "see me after class" moment, as I recall

The judge should have issued a Writ of Habeas Corpus Cavernosa.

/boioioioing

binnster: "He is a very good man," Winthrop said.

And thorough.

ObviouslyNotAGopher: binnster: "He is a very good man," Winthrop said.

And thorough.

You mean coitus?

I can't wait until I'm an old man. I plan on goosing every girl I see Benny Hill style.

At age 85 the mail penis shrivels and forms a cloaca, a posterior opening that serves as the only such opening for the intestinal, urinary, and genital tracts. This man isn't 85 so his defense is as unfounded as my argument. I have land in florida for sale too.

One time at the drug store an 88 year old man walked up and formerly introduced himself and insisted on shaking my hand very slowly and deliberately. I thought he was just unusually polite, but then he handed me a prescription for penis cream for his rash, and informed me he'd been scratching all week.

/was totally pwned
//took every fiber of my being to not do a Sam Kinison impression right there and then

maybe he lost it in a gardening accident?
maybe it's detachable. (detachable penis)

killabite

At age 85 the mail penis shrivels and forms a cloaca, a posterior opening that serves as the only such opening for the intestinal, urinary, and genital tracts.

I've never gotten one in the mail before... Maybe I'm just lucky?

Dad???

the old timer's been eating his trumpet flowers again methinks.

garden shears for your tongue? Yes please!

SIMPSONS DID IT! SIMPSONS DID IT!

Well, one look in his pants and he might just get to add a perjury charge to his list.

is it illegal to go into a resturant, order a sausage, hold it down by my crotch and pretend to be masturbating furiously?

State Superior Court Judge William Meehan instructed him to get a lawyer before his next hearing on April 24.

"Can I represent myself?" Scordato asked.

"Then you will have a fool for a client," the judge replied.

God forbid that we don't support the billion dollar attorney industry! :o

cheapimmitation: is it illegal to go into a resturant, order a sausage, hold it down by my crotch and pretend to be masturbating furiously?

only at Chuck E. Cheese

Perhaps he's related to Buck Angel?*

*please see Something Awful's ALOD of two days ago**

**and then get out the bleach and brillo pads

InflatableMe: To disprove it, someone has to look at an 81-year-old penis.

Now that I think about it, this may be exactly what we wants.

Actually, we don't wants to see 81-year-old penis. HE wants, dammit! HE wants.

/should've quit while I was ahead

hope that judge never runs into the comedy police...

I cannot stop laughing.

Kudos to the judge for insulting him in such a backhanded way.

LOL @ the character witness for calling him a good man.

LOL @ the guy for responding to the question with profanity.

Shame on the legal system for not fixing him the first time.

w00t! This happened in the next courtroom over from me! I really hope he represents himself in court....

/grabs popcorn

4th degree lewdness?

How many degrees are there?

"Yes, it's true. This man has no dick."


/RandomCrap is a free-floating, full-torso apparition (or a Class V full-torso vapor)

Sounds to me like the old man is a few french fries short of a Happy Meal.

Anyone familiar with the downtown Ridgewood area would be able to tell you that "across the street from a movie theater on Cottage Place [and E. Ridgewood Ave]" is a Starbucks which is literally infested with adolescent boys and girls on Friday and Saturday evenings. Being that September 16, 2005 landed on a Friday, there's no doubt in my mind as to what this old degenerate was doing.

mercator_psi: The judge should have issued a Writ of Habeas Corpus Cavernosa.

Habeas coitus?

Nullo?

Asked how he felt about the charges, Scordato uttered an obscenity and said, "Let's get out of here."

That along with the having no penis excuse and other funnies, makes me like the old fart more and more.

When I'm in my 80s I want a mate like that so I can keep on laughing and having a good time. I'd just tag along and observe the devastation around him.

is it illegal to go into a resturant, order a sausage, hold it down by my crotch....

No, you can do that on television.

If the condom doesn't fit, you must acquit!

Man you gotta miss Johnnie Cochran

Asked how he felt about the charges, Scordato uttered an obscenity and said, "Let's get out of here."

hahahaha.

"Then you will have a fool for a client," the judge replied.

AWWW SNAP|
What a zinger!

"He is a very good man," Winthrop said.

Asked how he felt about the charges, Scordato uttered an obscenity and said, "Let's get out of here."

Awesome. You can really picture it.
"He is a very good man"
"How do you feel about the charges?"
"Aw fark, let's get out of here."