Don't be tellin' me about foot massages. I'm the foot farkin' master.

Great article.

That's awesome.

And there ain't a GOT-DAMN thing you can do about it!

Now I KNOW Jesus is real!

My prayers are answered!!

/orgasm

This movie is already guaranteed to make tons of money, but watch it suprise everyone and actually be good.

But the movie already is the talk of a certain segment of the Net without any real prodding on the part of New Line.

Apparently, the studio got the hint. When Ellis assembled Jackson and others for the recent shoot, the filmmakers added more gore, more death, more nudity, more snakes and more death scenes. And they shot a scene where Jackson does utter the line that fans have demanded.

Behold the power of Fark.

Jamespoon: This movie is already guaranteed to make tons of money, but watch it suprise everyone and actually be good.

Did you see the trailer?

It's like Anaconda meets House of Wax.

/shhhh.... don't tell anybody, though

there is no such movie...
all will be revealed on april one.

This is the most brilliant marketing of a film I have ever seen.

Jamespoon

This movie is already guaranteed to make tons of money, but watch it suprise everyone and actually be good.

From the article: When Ellis assembled Jackson and others for the recent shoot, the filmmakers added more gore, more death, more nudity, more snakes and more death scenes

I don't see how it couldn't be frickin' awesome....

There was no marketing, at first, really. New Line thought it was a piece of crap with a stupid title. All of this, ALL this Snakes on a Plane stuff, is a product of people like us.

I hope this movie is huge and makes millions.

I would seriously cry tears of joy and amusement for days if Snakes on a Plane could somehow win Best Picture at the Oscars.

This is some repugnant shiat.

Isn't Whacking Day coming? Soon? Please?

This movie is gonna be the next Cemetary Man or Evil Dead.

Oh man, I am TOTALLY going to have to work that into "my thing" that I do.

As the office wacky guy AND the funny guy in my circle of friends, I have standards to keep to. Sure, some office and bar wacky guys might be content with laughs generated by saying "all your base" or slipping in a "Whatchoo talking about Willis" and SOME of them feel as if quoting from Season 1 of the Family Guy is still funny but I am a stop above that. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE says I could totally be a comedienne or have my own sitcom. Did I mention that I did theater in high school? Because I did.

That's because I am up with the latest trends and I am often the guy who tacks The Onion articles up for public consumption. True, my humor, meaning the humor I borrow from websites, isn't up to everyone's taste. The people in my office are still perplexed by that Maddox rant against the periodical table of the elements I copied and pasted into an email out to all my friends, but I am an artist and I have to stay true to my comedic roots even if the material that I run into the ground offends some. I know that somewhere out there, a white male in his twenties can appreciate my offbeat non-PC sense of humor.

In fact, Marcy is over there talking about her trip to San Francisco. I think I'll go steal the spotlight by asking her if there were any snakes on her airplane. BRB.

*fap*fap*fap*

I honestly can't remember a movie I have been more excited to see, *maybe* Star Wars 1, but that turned out to be disappointing.

SoaP, I KNOW will be great!

5000_gallons_of_toothpaste: This movie is gonna be the next Cemetary Man or Evil Dead.

God, I hope it's not Cemetery Man. That was one of the most egregiously stupid and boring movies ever. Awesome premise with the worst possible execution.

MoriyaMug: God, I hope it's not Cemetery Man. That was one of the most egregiously stupid and boring movies ever. Awesome premise with the worst possible execution.

I thought it was so horrendous that it was fantastic. I also liked Anna Falchi's tits.

So, what's this movie about again?

/ducks
//they should show the premiere - ON PLANES

5000_gallons_of_toothpaste

I thought it was so horrendous that it was fantastic. I also liked Anna Falchi's tits.

What's that, you say? Should I rent this movie?

The movie may end up being ridiculous and terrible. It'll still be highly entertaining, because it stars Samuel. L. Jackson. He's brilliant at making mediocre movies watchable.

I'm going to take the whole day off when this film opens. And I'm only doing it so when I tell my boss why I'm taking off, I can say with a perfectly straight face "I'm going to see Snakes on a Plane".

Get your toy snakes in  time for the movie ...

Farkshower1972: What's that, you say? Should I rent this movie?

I recommend it. Whether you end up loving or hating the movie itself, its worth it just for the boobies. Falchi is hot.

Action Replay Nick: I would seriously cry tears of joy and amusement for days if Snakes on a Plane could somehow win Best Picture at the Oscars.


It won't get any Oscar nods except for maybe in the tech areas or maybe special effects.

Unless of course, Neville and Eddie decide to do the Brokeback thang. Guaranteed "Best Picture" nomination.

Picture the love scene... "There's a motherfarking snake on this motherfarking plane... and I'm about to give it to you!"

or something like that.

Maybe the Academy will finally add a category for "Best Feature Length Film About Snakes on a Motherfarking Plane".

2006-03-23 01:21:36 PM SockMonkeyHolocaust

omfg rotc llama aol!!!1!

*begins the slow clap

This will end up like Rocky Horror, just watch.

Ah well, it'll bring business to a sorely depressed rubber snake industry

SockMonkeyHolocaust: Oh man, I am TOTALLY going to have to work that into "my thing" that I do.

Sir, your rant reminds me of Family Guy. What does that say about me?

/yours is funnier

I tried to make one saying "SoaP Mothafarka!" but it was unreadable.

Parseltongue, motherfarker! Do you speak it?

szmike: Parseltongue, motherfarker! Do you speak it?

Samuel L Jackson is a Jedi you moran, not a wizard!

EVERYONE says I could totally be a comedienne

Your co-workers think you are a funny lady?

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Seriously, I'm totally not getting the obsession with this movie. The movie just looks like it will be really, for lack of a better word, bad.

Samuel L. ROCKS. Totally. I'd probably watch the movie just to see him. But on DVD. So far nothing has me feeling like this is worth spending the $7.50 on.

Just read TFA.
/nerdgasm

Mr Guy


szmike: Parseltongue, motherfarker! Do you speak it?

Samuel L Jackson is a Jedi you moran, not a wizard!

My mistake, then. Please accept my apologies.

**coughnerdcough**

I love the official logo.

Just wait until people start toting rubber snakes on planes for fun, then the TSA scrambles to call them a choking hazard, to which people reply "what about our belts" and the TSA says "Hey, look, there's Elvis" and ducks into the bathroom.

They should have gotten Tarantino to direct, or Rodriguez. Right up their alley.

People should sneek bags of rubber snakes into the theater, and when there's a "tenseful" scene, just start lobbing snakes into the audience and watch people freak.

OMG that would be so cool. :D

The only way this film could get any better is the invocation of Shatner.

Top Five Movie Quotes of All Time
Poll taken December 2006

5. You talkin' to me?
4. I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse.
3. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
2. Here's looking at you, kid.
1. I want these motherfarkin' snakes off the motherfarkin' plane!

2006-03-23 01:21:36 PM SockMonkeyHolocaust

You pretty much nailed it.

David Spade in "Buh-Byes On Departing a Plane II: The Water-Cooler."

The only thing I'm a little concerned about is the trailers. With the movie still 4 months away, if the trailers show any sizable amount of this movie at all, there's the possibility the whole premise could lose the funny for a lot of people.

If I were them I'd only do one 10-15 second trailer. It'd be in the "pulsing deep heartbeat with brief image flashing" style. It'd be like:

*pulse* [woman starting a scream]
*pulse* [a bunch of snakes]
*pulse* [a plane taking off]
*pulse* [Samuel L. Jackson looking frantic]
*pulse* [plain white text "Snakes on a Plane"]
*pulse* [release date]

That's it. I wouldn't even try to make people interested in the actual movie, I think that would backfire. If anyone working on the movie happens to read this, feel free to steal my idea.

There is a ghod!

"It's a genius title," Rohan said. "It's so stupid it's great. It invites satire, but it's something you just love. It's something I can't explain. You either get it or you don't."

And that's why I'll be there opening night.

Snakes on a Plane = Rocky Horror Picture Show. Remember to bring your own snake to the premier. And toy plane.

dear god this is a real movie? i thought it was an internet joke about how bad movies were these days...