Nothing classier than a priest that molests Eskimo girls. Can we turn some of the seal-clubbers loose on them?

I hope God directs them to try unnatural acts with polar bears.

LazyMF: Nothing classier than a priest that molests Eskimo girls.

it's not the girls we're worried about

But the Catholic Church has moral authority when it comes to things like gay marriage, eh?

Bite me.

Oh great. We already have your felons, now you're sending your priests.

I'm SO not answering the door anymore.

On the other hand, I would like to inform any TFettes who touch my genitals that their sins will be forgiven.

/Well, at least by me.

..we are committed to provide a safe environment within our ministries," said Fred Villa, a diocese spokesman. "We will continue to reach out to the people in need of healing and spiritual support."

Exactly what I'm afraid of.

I thought they sent them to Craggy Island...

A priest touched a GIRL?

why not just put them in jail?

Bah, turn them over to the authorities already. They will have plenty of fun in prison.

Alaska Trifecta sounds like a good name for a band.

/Alaska Trifecta in affect
/and in the hizzouse

circletimessquare: Cuz some Farkers will cut and paste anything they hear.


AMEN!

FARK is fast approaching an Alaskan Trifecta. This thread will probably have religious flames, although the Catholics are more of a weird cult than most we have here (in Alaska).

Any minute, the freaks will usurp the Raven Creation story, as they have with everything else.

Lots of people simply disappear in Alaska. Send your perverts up; we'll slip them under the ice, or feed the Ravens/bears/foxes. They'll end up like this one

Alaskans, I advocate Catholic Priest Hunting Season.

Perfect.

Winners all round.

Trophy priest heads, y'all.

no, this is a good move...you touch an eskimo alter-boy's genitals in a confessional where it's -32 degrees, they will just snap right off...and god will know.

Haha.

Imagine a small town consisting only of Catholic priests, raping and fondling each other incessantly.

germaniac:

Imagine a small town consisting only of Catholic priests, raping and fondling each other incessantly.

I laughed out loud at that

Combine that with GungFu's suggestion, and we might have a plan. We have lots of islands here.

Now for some Lions, Bears...and PPV

Hmmm....

The crueler/sicker the person, the more harmless/trustable the disguise.

I'm simply displeased by the headline.

rabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabble rabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabble rabblerabblerabblerabble

The Gilgameks are displeased! rabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabble rabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabble rabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabble rabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabble rabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabblerabble ..

Kinmuan: germaniac:

Imagine a small town consisting only of Catholic priests, raping and fondling each other incessantly.

I laughed out loud at that

Really? That image didn't evoke laughter so much as destroy any chance achieving a boner in the next few weeks.

Sadly, this will not interrupt any of my plans.

I don't understand why people are so shocked about this. This sort of thing has been going on for a hell of a lot longer than most people have been alive. You were an DNA sequence inside of the sperm count of your grandfathers grandfather and priests were diddling children. The one thing that has not changed is that no one really does anything about it other than shuffle them around like a shell game. The illusion is that you take a person who likes to molest children and instead of taking them into the back yard for a severe beating, some bright penny decided ' oh let's give them religion and then they will turn to god and see the error of their ways ' .... they change no more than the local church AA meeting where people get together to chug listerine & ny-quill while chainsmoking and exploring their sexuality.

People who like to diddle children have a mental illness. Making them dress up and play invisible leader in the sky is not going to cure that any more than shuffling them from trailer park to trailer park. Treat them, jail them and make a 3 strikes & you're out rule for them. The 3 strikes rule has helped alot of other people with ' special problems ' like violent crime & DWI.

I have no objection to a religion taking these people in, but for the love of common sense don't put them in a place where they are exposed to children! Put them in a monestary halfway up a mountain and make them copy books, make wine, and fark each other while wearing burlap sacks & chanting Latin like the good old days.

from TFA: In the latest lawsuit, filed in Bethel, the plaintiff is only identified as Jana Doe...

Ah, Jane's sister. Nice girl. Shame what that priest did to her.

Perhaps a good punishment would be to tie the offending priest to a stake on the ice where polar bears frequent with seal blood poured over his genitals?

I'm glad they're making progress in many scientific areas, but there simply hasn't been enough done in the field of Making Pedophiles Attracted to Grizzly Bears. Wouldn't that be fitting?

"Bob, you've touched two boys, so we're going to rewire you to love only the largest of bears. Then we're going to give you a few in a special room. We'll see how far you get!"

"What if the bear likes it?"

"Oh, slim chance of that, Bob. We've had people sticking tazers up their butts randomly for weeks now. They're pretty pissed! They may even kill you on sight, we're not sure. You won't care, you'll look at them like you look at little boys. And that's justice."

early morning Alaska trifecta in play

Haha.

Imagine a small town consisting only of Catholic priests, raping and fondling each other incessantly.

That would be the Vatican...

First P., being the only other person who gets that joke, send them to Rugged Island instead. Let Dick Byrne take care of them.

It's 6:14am here, and I haven't gone to bed yet. Mmmm, the anticipation of pancakes to come.

"And the locals up there displeased."

Submitter - are you concerned that these priests didn't find the locals pleasant?

/rather be a pedant than a paedo

The headline for this sucked. "And the locals up there displeased" That's just plain crappy.

Counting the Mammoth article/thread (time is irrelevant here in Alaska), this does, in fact, complete the Alaskan Trifecta.

What do I win?

The numbers don't support the lawyers's claim. About one of every ten Catholic priests face molestation accusations in the US. There have been 4,400 priests accused and there are approximately 46,000 Catholic priests* in the US. Only 12 of Alaska's 500 priests who served between 1959 and 2002 face allegations. Alaska *needs* 40 more buggers just to bring Alaska up to the National average.

* link http://www.allaboutreligion.org/catholic-priests.htm

Ferchrissake (and for Christ's sake), why won't they let these poor guys get married? It might not eliminate clerical child-molesting but it would certainly reduce .

Did anyone mention the alaskan trifecta?
No?
/well there is one
//a trifecta
///about alaska

This priest the guy they call "Nanookie of the North"?

Delay:
Where are you getting your numers from? In the articles it says 300 priests accused!

"And the locals up there displeased."

nobody expects the spelling nazis!

Jeebus! 10 percent of priests have been accused of molestation? ...If that many are getting caught, probably half of them have tried the "if you touch my genitals your sins will be forgiven" trick. Makes my skin crawl.
Paging Reverend Jim Jones... Reverend Jim Jones! ...Can you come back from the dead and hold another Kool-Aid party with Catholic priests this time? Please?
But the bright side might be that since Alaska has somewhere around three guns per household we may see a increase in firearms accidents involving pervy priests in the future. Which would be sooo sad.

2005-10-21 05:55:34 AM greenone

Did anyone mention the alaskan trifecta?
No?

I mentioned it 32 minutes before.

Got Scroll?

Um... nothing's misspelled there, big guy, it's just grammatically craptarded.

totalsecurity

I screwed up my slashes but I still beat you by 5 minutes.

Chipper2
And just what did the polar bears do to deserve a UFIA adminstered by Catholic priests? Hmm?

Where the hell is a pic of the Craggy Island lads??

"They were only nuns!"

I spent ten years in catholic schools. Nowdays, it's natural for me to wonder about what might have happened to the alter boy kids I was in those schools with.

This problem has to reach right to the very top of the catholic church. How can it not?

How did the guys at the top, get to the top? By starting in at the bottom, right? They know. They all know. They've all known, all along.

The Daily Show's Lewis Black explains the difference between gayness and pedophilia this way: there's no cure for being gay.

Pedophiliacs are moved to new parishes.

I wonder how many of these "crimes" are copycat. Once, when I went to AA, one guy came in crying one day. I saw him and moved to the other side of the room. They start the meeting he is freaking balling like a baby with a wet nappy. Finally someone asks what's wrong, he said his father molested him. I said "I thought he was dead?" (he was). "It happened when I was 2". Crickey, that was like 53 years ago? Over the next few months the abuse spread, before I left I'd say 80% of the people in there had been molested by evil parents/uncles/aunts/dogs/etc.

That said, let priests MARRY. Maybe they'll be able to relate to people better. Have a CatholicLite(tm) church that allows for married priests. It's ok by me.

Ok I'm the first to admit this all sounds very dodgy, though it seems people are ready to skip the logical conclusions and jump straight to blaming the administration. I find it hard to accept, as Delchi's statement indicates, that the church willingly puts pedophiles in these positions to convert them, more likely perhaps that these sick bastards find positions in the community where they are trusted. I find it harder to believe that the church places pedophilic priests in Alaska because children are less likely to complain, more likely the pedophiles applied for these positions for that very same reason. Yes, the Church has been negligent in failing to prevent this and should compensate the victims, and yes, these 'priests' should be imprisoned, but there is no conspiracy here

but there is no conspiracy here

Says you.

you ave been corrupted by the pope and his minions of evil red commies.

All the way to the top.
all the way man.