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(Yahoo) Unlikely Coke claims to have invented a drink that actually burns calories   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 179
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179 Comments   (+0 »)


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Jeebus_Frist 2005-07-28 05:01:21 PM  
Yeah, but how many calories does it contain?

 
vernonFL [TotalFark] 2005-07-28 05:05:06 PM  
Uh, Cocaine?

 
knucklebreather 2005-07-28 05:05:53 PM  
A can full of celery?

 
faxinator [TotalFark] 2005-07-28 05:08:43 PM  
I shall drink 40 cans per day and lose 25 pounds in one week.

 
zmiley 2005-07-28 05:08:59 PM  
Fatties had an excuse?

 
winterlongone [TotalFark] 2005-07-28 05:09:00 PM  
coke invented this over a hundred years ago. then the government made them take out the cocaine. wonder how they're hiding it this time.

 
WereWoman 2005-07-28 05:10:27 PM  
Does it have wheels and a motor on it or something? You can have your sugary Coke, but you've got to catch it first!

 
Jeebus_Frist 2005-07-28 05:12:20 PM  
Does this mean I can drink a six pack of this shiat and skip the gym?

/marketing hype

 
And _that's_the_way_the_cookie_crumbles 2005-07-28 05:12:52 PM  
So is this green tea + caffeine + artificial flavor or something truly revolutionary? Because if it's the former, I'll just stick to drinking tea in the morning and coke/coffee while I am at work.

Interesting idea though.

 
staplermofo [TotalFark] 2005-07-28 05:15:04 PM  
The kerosene wasn't bad, but the match chaser was horrible.

 
And _that's_the_way_the_cookie_crumbles 2005-07-28 05:17:27 PM  
WereWoman:

Does it have wheels and a motor on it or something? You can have your sugary Coke, but you've got to catch it first!

Like this?I wonder if there's ever going to be a mass-produced runaway alarm clock.

 
Guttrpunk 2005-07-28 05:21:51 PM  
Wow, green tea + caffeine. Now all it needs is synephrine and it can join the weight loss market along with hundreds of diet pill manufacturers.

 
saminman 2005-07-28 05:25:03 PM  
1 Calorie will heat 1 kg of water 1 degree celsius. Drink 1L of any diet soda (or water) at 5 celsius and it will take 32 calories to bring it up to body temperature.

 
EnormousJuan 2005-07-28 05:28:29 PM  
Yeah it's called strong black coffee. Geeze.

 
strangeguitar 2005-07-28 05:29:06 PM  
In a related story, the Americans will be greeted as liberators in Iraq.
That and a cow jumped over the moon...All tonight on Fox News at 11

 
DaddysLittleByte 2005-07-28 05:40:51 PM  
Does the can weigh 15 pounds?

 
JerseyTim [TotalFark] 2005-07-28 05:40:56 PM  
The trick here is that the soda comes on a fishing rod and you burn the calories trying to catch it.

 
sweetcheeks [TotalFark] 2005-07-28 05:46:01 PM  
Looks like the management shake-up couple years ago finally got the Coke employees thinking about new products. Speaking of new produts, does it piss anyone else off that you can't order any of the new Coke products in restaurants, fast food joints, etc.? Wishing Coke Zero was available everywhere....

 
Isotope 2005-07-28 05:46:39 PM  
1 Calorie will heat 1 kg of water 1 degree celsius. Drink 1L of any diet soda (or water) at 5 celsius and it will take 32 calories to bring it up to body temperature.

so, what about sticking ice cubes up my butt?

 
mystereys 2005-07-28 05:57:58 PM  
"The beverage will target active lifestyle consumers."

Shouldn't they be targeting the inactive and obese with this?

 
Lifereaper0 2005-07-28 06:29:51 PM  
Isotope
You will be cold.

 
lordargent 2005-07-28 07:36:44 PM  
a soda that is said to burn 50 to 100 calories just by drinking a 12-oz. serving

Either by making you throw up, or shiat up a storm.

/the calories gotta go somewhere people
/to do this, it would have to raise your basal metabolic rate, IE, you would have to burn more calories at rest. That means, your heart beats faster, you breathe faster, maybe your muscles fidget more.

hey hey, wait just one damn minute, this sounds like what happens when you drink a ton of

Enviga, a green tea-based, caffeinated, carbonated drink

caffeine.

Phase 1: Make a 0 calorie soda using splenda or some other artifical sweetener.

Phase 2: Hyperboost the metabolic rate by giving folks a superdose of caffeine.

Phase 3: Profit

 
lordargent 2005-07-28 07:41:34 PM  
saminman [TotalFark]

1 Calorie will heat 1 kg of water 1 degree celsius


The calories listed on food containers are actually Kilo calories. (1000 calories).

32/1000 = .032
1lb of fat = 3500 (kilo) calories

So to lose a pound, you'd need to drink 3,417.96875 L (902.931816 gallons)

/someone double check that, I suck at t3h math

 
doahart [TotalFark] 2005-07-28 07:59:31 PM  
wow the science of FARK;)

 
Jelly295 [TotalFark] 2005-07-28 08:37:06 PM  
Diet Coke tastes terrible. I can't think of how crappy this stuff is going to taste.

 
cheshirecatsmileyface 2005-07-28 08:46:20 PM  
or....you could just drink green tea. 0 calories, all the benefits.

 
WayToBlue 2005-07-28 08:56:00 PM  
Jelly295

Diet Coke tastes terrible. I can't think of how crappy this stuff is going to taste.

Diet coke is elixor of the god compared to diet pepsi.

 
Mensan 2005-07-28 08:57:35 PM  
Just drink large amounts of very cold diet coke. It takes a lot of energy to warm up cold water. At least that is what I was taught in the boy scouts...

 
skinink 2005-07-28 08:57:47 PM  

"NEW YORK Coca-Cola is planning to launch Vagina, a soda that is said to burn 50 to 100 calories just by drinking a 12-oz. serving, next year, per one executive."


At least, that's how I first read it. Personally, I'd go for a 12 oz serving of Vagina.


 
HRPuffinStuff 2005-07-28 09:00:14 PM  
Er, digestion burns calories.

Green tea helps.

Green coke sounds absolutely disgusting.

/urp

 
Fire President Bush 2005-07-28 09:01:19 PM  
a green tea-based, caffeinated, carbonated drink, is in clinical testing and is said to speed up the user's metabolism. The beverage will target active lifestyle consumers.

"active lifestyle consumers" don't need a drink to burn their calories. They are already active. I think they mean to target lazy fatasses who want to look like they have active lifestyles, but don't want to put in the work.

 
cxwe090 2005-07-28 09:01:38 PM  
Most importantly how well will it mix with my Jack Daniels?



/dammit

 
Rascal 2005-07-28 09:01:50 PM  

I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS FATTYS!!!!

 
adam_sapple 2005-07-28 09:02:46 PM  
yes, but does that calories-burning drink tastes as awful as other Coke drinks?

 
Keith Myath 2005-07-28 09:02:48 PM  
It's a can of hyrdochloric acid.

"Johnny was a chemist
But Johnny is no more.
What Johnny thought was H2O
Was H2SO4."

 
cgrabe 2005-07-28 09:02:54 PM  
mystereys

"The beverage will target active lifestyle consumers."

Shouldn't they be targeting the inactive and obese with this?


If they don't strengthen their heart and lungs, there's not a lot of point in losing weight. Being thin is (or should be) more of a byproduct of being healthy than a real goal in and of itself.

 
sir_nose 2005-07-28 09:02:55 PM  
I have a question:

Coke says it is targeting active-lifestyle consumers with the product. If someone has an active lifestyle, wouldn't they be burning calories by doing things like, uh, exercising?
Did I miss something?

 
The Mad Cockatiel 2005-07-28 09:02:59 PM  
one "Calorie" (capital C) is a kilocalorie. Therefore, it'd be more like 110 L required. Still a hell of a lot for one pound. You'd be peeing for weeks.

 
cgrabe 2005-07-28 09:03:33 PM  
Don't you hate it when you realize you've screwed up half a second after hitting submit?

 
Fire President Bush 2005-07-28 09:04:49 PM  
2005-07-28 08:57:47 PM skinink

"NEW YORK Coca-Cola is planning to launch Vagina, a soda that is said to burn 50 to 100 calories just by drinking a 12-oz. serving, next year, per one executive."

At least, that's how I first read it. Personally, I'd go for a 12 oz serving of Vagina.


Sounds fishy to me.

/I can't believe I'm posting that.

 
answer the phone 2005-07-28 09:04:51 PM  
WayToBlue: You're right, Diet Pepsi is teh nasty!

 
cot 2005-07-28 09:07:25 PM  
Jelly295: Diet Coke tastes terrible.

the splenda version is markedly better.

 
proteus_b 2005-07-28 09:08:21 PM  
yea that's what i was gonna point out: active lifestyle people aren't worried about speeding UP their metabolism: in fact, sometimes we want to slow it down. it's the fatties who think that they will lose weight by sitting around (which can happen, if you don't eat anything...) that want to drink a magic potion to cure their ills... hint: get out of the SUV, biatch!

 
HowlingFrog [TotalFark] 2005-07-28 09:08:37 PM  
Fire President Bush:

"active lifestyle consumers" don't need a drink to burn their calories. They are already active. I think they mean to target lazy fatasses who want to look like they have active lifestyles, but don't want to put in the work.

You're gonna have fatties crying everywhere.

 
uncoveror 2005-07-28 09:10:43 PM  
I wish them luck. The Coca Cola Company desperately needs a hit. Since they ran out of saskra root, their flagship product tastes like ass! Read more. http://www.uncoveror.com/coke2.htm

 
lixivium 2005-07-28 09:11:58 PM  
Already been done:



/good stuff
//jasmine tea straight up is better

 
Cardinal [TotalFark] 2005-07-28 09:12:47 PM  
ANY diet cola with caffeine will burn calories.

 
moltov 2005-07-28 09:12:53 PM  
mystereys

"The beverage will target active lifestyle consumers."

Shouldn't they be targeting the inactive and obese with this?


Exactly. (i felt it deserved being said again.)

 
saminman 2005-07-28 09:13:12 PM  
lordargent
"The calories listed on food containers are actually Kilo calories. (1000 calories).

32/1000 = .032
1lb of fat = 3500 (kilo) calories

So to lose a pound, you'd need to drink 3,417.96875 L (902.931816 gallons)"


A science calorie will heat 1 gram of water 1 degree Celsius
A food Calorie (note the uppercase), also known as a kilocalorie (note the lowercase) will heat 1 kg of water 1 degree Celsius.
Body temperature is 37 Celsius, cold refreshing water is 5 Celsius
So if
1 lb of fat = 3500 Calories
1 kg of fat = 7710 Calories
then
7710 Calories/lb fat * 1 liter of 5 Celsius water/32 Calories = 241 liters of cool refreshing water to burn 1 kg of fat.
Of course this doesn't count all the Calories used to actually raise the water to your mouth or the inevitable trips to the bathroom.

 
Kaybeck 2005-07-28 09:14:18 PM  
They're targeting it to the active-lifestyle consumers because they are the ones who eat healthy and exercise regularly. Now they can drink Coke instead of those crap-tasting suppliments.

 
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