So where do I sign up for this obviously vital campaign?

I'd nail it

And she can scratch hers across my back any time..

[HERO]

I'd nail it!

/just getting that out of the way.

And she'll fight tooth and nail...

Paula, if you need someone to keep your snatch spit-shined, I'm your guy.

Dammit! I take 15 seconds to come up with a witty line and it gets taken.

Bad grammar, submitter. Commas are not used to join two independant clauses. F for the day!

/yes, I went there

Oh, and the singular subject is also used with a plural pronoun! ("person" = "his/her", never "they")

Ah, screw it. You fail at life. Get out of here!

Memo to Bono and Bob Geldof: You snooze, you lose.

Someone explain to me how being a professional dancer is so painfull?

Abdul is such a cuticle.

[QUOTE]
"I was publicly humiliated," Abdul said in her closing statement. "That is why with an open heart and a selfless agenda, I implore you to pass this bill."
[/QUOTE]

She really is a dummy. Selfless agenda usually has nothing to do with self, hence the name "selfless". Public humility that you suffer is not selfless.

Just keep dancing and save the smart talk to us smart people.

Someone explain how this is even on here?

Though this is a non-cause that doesn't at all require the services of a celebrity spokesperson, according to my wife the majority of these places could use tighter health codes, enforcement, etc. Exposed feet, people. Nasty infection. The end of the world.

To those who would nail her: sing a tune, get on the show, buy the ticket take the ride.

"spit shine your snatch?" that phrase is a little fratty psycho

just sayn

This is why I always steep my nail-clippers in Tibetan yak's urine after every use.

Will, at least she is fighting for something she actually understands, as opposed to most celeberty causes.

Someone explain how this is even on here?

Your submission got rejected too, huh...

bigmachockey

Well, see, there's this link submission button on the main page...

/just say'n

Oh yeah? Well, the phrase "fratty psycho" is a little... apt. ;-)

She's just racist against AzNz.

Why not?

No woman (or man)client seems to want to admit they have nail/foot fungus or whatever god-awful disease...

This just makes sense from a purely medical point of view.

/Pehaps farkers would get behind it some of the corner boobie women came out for it?
//or maybe Paula needs to give up the $200 overcharged manicures..

man, can her tatas be exposed any more? nice cleavage.

Straight up now, she sucks.

I wonder if she'll help me with my `ass wax for the homeless' campaign?

Someone needs to OJ that biatch the world would be a better place

Anyone got a pic of her in a LA Lakers outfit? That'd be nice.

I don't ever get my nails done but even I know to bring your own manicure/pedicure tools. I am not going to rely on Sushi Kim to sanitize the funk off of them from the last biatch's hooves.

Speaking as someone who had her nails done at a place that wasn't so clean once, and almost lost every fingernail I had from an infection I caught there, which took loads of medicine and a year to grow back, good for her.

It doesn't always have to be cancer or MS.

darkhorse23 you realize you just placed this in the same range as cancer or MS? I really hope next time you go your nails start to fall off and when you stop dittling yourself your snatch falls off

bigmachockey:

2005-06-28 10:16:33 AM bigmachockey

darkhorse23 you realize you just placed this in the same range as cancer or MS? I really hope next time you go your nails start to fall off and when you stop dittling yourself your snatch falls off

No, dear. I didn't. You did. You just proved you are an idiot.

Next?

hmmm well I guess that isn't a bad thing, better than a lot of shiat famous people pretend to care about. Sure you can make it look like you care about starving children or what have you, but deep down inside they really must not give a shiat. You know she must have concern for her nails, so at least honesty is there.

"That is why with an open heart and a selfless agenda" Umm, ok that part is bullshiat. Lawyer should have schooled her better.

If I was famous I would open my heart and implore donut chains to no longer suck. Dunkin, what happened to "time to make the donuts" Not; time to ship them from a large warehouse.

/here we go...

Matt....Matt....you don't know about nail salons, okay, I do.

Matt...don't be glib, you're being glib.

Sanitary conditions at nail salons is a psuedo science, okay.

Matt....you're glib

Let's run this through the LilyConnerizer

I really hope next time you go your nails start to fall off and when you stop dittling yourself your snatch falls off on a regular basis

Fade_to_Blah
Someone explain to me how being a professional dancer is so painfull?

You'd be surprised.
They invent all kinds of new agony when you get to pointe ballet.
Though I believe our Ms. Abdul was more of a tap girl...

wpmulligan

I really want to sabotage
Paula's plunging decolletage
Perhaps a push, maybe a trip'll
Loose the mounds, expose a nipple.

Happy Premise Number Four:

You must NOT show It to the Laker Girls.

Keep Mister Happy in the *pants*.

/too obscure?

I tried to submit this with a less funny headline.

Sadly, not the stupidest idea for a law I've seen. I work for a state office, and we get a copy of every bill presented in the house or senate. My personal favorite? The one naming the first Saturday in October as "Country Ham Day." It passed.

A sample from the joint resolution:

"WHEREAS, one of the original Southern Comfort foods, country ham truly epitomizes what people love about the South, its culture, and its many culinary delights; and

WHEREAS, as any discerning diner knows, there is nothing quite like the smell of country ham being fried in the morning, or in the afternoon or evening;"

It goes on like this for almost three pages.

Paula Abdul's crusade is almost noble, considering that in my state, we get Country Ham Day...

darkhorse23 and bigmachockey, let's "clip" this in the bud.

/flaming over nail salons?
//"polishing" up on my slashes
///slashy goodness

Will you piss off Mrs. Parker-Bowles. It's Miss Abdul's turn now.

Well, this is a good thing. Take a look at the 'asian nail' places. You hardly ever see board certificates or operating licences for each person working at one. They use those dremel tools on nails; which cannot be sanitized. People are like, "What's the big deal?" Say person A goes to one of these places, and they are infected with hepatitus C (or any other communicable disease). Asian person uses the dremel tool or any other kind of nail file on them, abrades or cuts the skin, and gets a minute or large amount of blood on the dremel or nail file. Person B comes in to get their nails done, and asian person uses the dremel or nail file on them, accidentally abrades the skin, and transmits Hep C onto person B. E. Coli and other bacteria can be transmitted in the same way.

Asian nail places use dremel tools because they use a polymer that is banned in most states since it cures to a hardness that is almost unbelievable, the fumes and dust is highly toxic, and it breaks down the natural nail. A false nail put on with this substance can actually pull the underlying real nail right off of the nail bed if it is caught on something. Approved polymers will seperate easier from the real nail.

DarthBrooks: /too obscure?

Not at all.


and TheJuiceIsLoose, that is freakin hilarious. Tom sucks

Surely that's Mrs. Windsor these days?

"You pick color now!"