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(Boulder Weekly) Sick Introducing Hofu: Tofu that looks and tastes like human flesh. Fava beans, chianti sold separately   (boulderweekly.com) divider line 118
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118 Comments   (+0 »)


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lexingtonienne 2005-06-23 01:22:06 PM  
He says he hasn't tasted human flesh. So how does he know his product tastes like human?

 
peck [TotalFark] 2005-06-23 01:24:50 PM  
lexingtonienne:

He says he hasn't tasted human flesh. So how does he know his product tastes like human?


Tastes like pork.

 
cheshirecatsmileyface 2005-06-23 01:25:44 PM  
who the hell comes up with shiat like this?

 
MoriyaMug 2005-06-23 01:29:23 PM  
I'd eat it.

 
Guy Innagorillasuit [TotalFark] 2005-06-23 01:36:29 PM  
If we're not supposed to eat people, why are they made of meat?

 
splishsplashfark 2005-06-23 01:49:35 PM  
Why can't they just make a soda that tastes like vagina?

 
OneHandFapping 2005-06-23 01:51:01 PM  
"Why can't they just make a soda that tastes like vagina?"

Caffeine Free Diet Fish Taco?

 
StomachMonkey 2005-06-23 01:56:57 PM  
Finally, relief for those cannibals who live a vegetarian lifestyle.

They should have called it Tofulent Green.

 
Guy Innagorillasuit [TotalFark] 2005-06-23 02:02:21 PM  
Why can't they just make a soda that tastes like vagina?

Reminds me of the joke about the guy who invented cookies that taste like vagina. He call a friend with his news, the friend rushes over to try one and proclaims "This tastes like shiat", to which the baker replies "Turn it over".

 
rose8199 [TotalFark] 2005-06-23 05:06:42 PM  
Anyone else notice the Twilight Zone reference?

 
Peaceboy [TotalFark] 2005-06-23 05:53:43 PM  
"It's tofu! Soylent People is made out of tofu!"

 
Snarfangel [TotalFark] 2005-06-23 06:45:12 PM  
Get the delicious taste of long pig without all the nasty prions. Try new I Can't Believe It's Not Brother.

 
Prince Of Dweebs 2005-06-23 07:06:05 PM  
Someone is totally going to plant a finger in their hofu.

 
Confoundit 2005-06-23 07:13:37 PM  
"It's my own belief that people are tired of the slickness of marketing and advertising for most products," says Nuckols. "You look at ads for SUVs or clothing or shampoo, and they're all trying to show beautiful people doing beautiful things. We're using cannibals as our marketing pitchbloodthirsty cannibals."

Yep, because marketing TOFU by telling people that it TASTES LIKE HUMAN FLESH isn't lame at all. Bonus points for the fact that none of the people who came up with the food have ever tasted human flesh.

Only an idiotic asshole/poseur would buy this stuff.

 
Wraithstrike 2005-06-23 09:54:18 PM  
Great headline...sick story.

/Can I borrow a vial of holy water from one of you?

 
Annoyance 2005-06-23 09:56:36 PM  
This is as wrong as an underage real doll.

 
robsul82 [TotalFark] 2005-06-23 09:57:23 PM  
Of course I got the reference from TTZ. "To Serve Man" is only one of the more famous episodes of the series.

 
adadkbar93 2005-06-23 09:57:38 PM  
Guy Innagorillasuit

If we're not supposed to eat people, why are they made of meat?

You my good friend, now owe me a keyboard!

As for this Hofo, two words come to mind:
Depraved and Delicious!

 
grendel's mudder 2005-06-23 09:57:45 PM  
what does Jeffery Dahmer keep in his shower?


Head and Shoulders
/now with extra Hofu goodness

 
Not fancy fantastic 2005-06-23 09:58:01 PM  
Tastes like chicken!

/had to be said

 
PigCharmer 2005-06-23 09:58:47 PM  
Frozen Dead Guy Approves


 
Gunrunnercorp 2005-06-23 09:59:37 PM  
finally..all the goodness of human flesh, with no messy clean up..you know..the hole digging, the bone boiling, renting the woodchipper!!
great product!

 
glmorrs1 2005-06-23 10:00:47 PM  
What the fark, I'd try it.

 
GoSurfing [recently expired TotalFark] 2005-06-23 10:02:30 PM  
Perfect headline submitter.
/never had tofu. don't know anything about it. don't want to. If tofu is extruded soybeans, then I'm happy I've never eaten that "hip cool guy, emo, vegantarian, I eat healthy, organic, trendy, low carb horseshiat. You can suck my stinky sweaty balls vegans.
//you can't suck my balls actually...meat products.

 
Eat The Placenta 2005-06-23 10:02:53 PM  
the internets can be a very strange place:

Wtf? NSFW. popper

 
Flopsy 2005-06-23 10:04:03 PM  
"Your friends can call you Hoju!"

 
The Third Man 2005-06-23 10:04:06 PM  
If we're not supposed to eat people, why are they made of meat?

People have always eaten people.
What else is there to eat?
If the Juju hadn't meant us to eat people,
We wouldn't be made of meat!

--Flanders and Swann


 
Trail Mix 2005-06-23 10:07:50 PM  
It's a cookbook! It's a cookbook!

 
hexane 2005-06-23 10:08:13 PM  
I'll have two breast please.

 
louiedog 2005-06-23 10:08:29 PM  
GoSurfing:

/never had tofu. don't know anything about it. don't want to. If tofu is extruded soybeans, then I'm happy I've never eaten that "hip cool guy, emo, vegantarian, I eat healthy, organic, trendy, low carb horseshiat. You can suck my stinky sweaty balls vegans.

proud to be ignorant?

 
cyrus_hunter 2005-06-23 10:08:32 PM  
I thought "To Serve Man" was an episode of The Outer Limits?

 
GoSurfing [recently expired TotalFark] 2005-06-23 10:09:09 PM  
louiedog
proud to eat shiat?

 
okami36 2005-06-23 10:10:53 PM  
Alright, I'll bite...

 
louiedog 2005-06-23 10:11:20 PM  
GoSurfing: proud to eat shiat?

lol
i don't care if you like it or dont
but you said you know nothing about it and dont want to
i'm just stating the obvious that you are proud of the fact you are ignorant of what tofu is

 
hogans 2005-06-23 10:12:32 PM  
I wish ManBeef.com was still around. That ranked right up there with the Bonsai Kitty.

 
Kaji 2005-06-23 10:12:57 PM  
Actually, "To Serve Man" started out as a short story by Damon Knight, and was later adapted to whichever show it was on (my brain hurts already -- don't make me think).

And of course, someone already did publish a "cannibal" cookbook called by the same name. As I recall, the recipes were things like "Cowboy Chili", starting with one pound of ground cowboy. *sigh*

 
GoSurfing [recently expired TotalFark] 2005-06-23 10:14:33 PM  
louiedog
Is tofu soy based like I said?
If not correct me I would like to know, BTW.
Part of the INFORMED's job is to inform the IGNORANT's of the truth....not to just remind them of the ignorance.
Please, do tell me what it is made of.....
/I don't like ignorance either, but I am....just as you are believe it or not....I call it "selective intelligence" lol.

 
webmasterzero 2005-06-23 10:15:36 PM  
...and yet growing hemp is illegal?

/that's messed up.

 
Nickninja 2005-06-23 10:15:41 PM  
If they can make tofu with the same taste and texture as people, why the hell can't they make it taste like chicken or beef?

 
theoneontheleft 2005-06-23 10:16:00 PM  
when soy beans evolve to take over the world and turn to prey on people, they're going to find out about this and completely freak out. then they'll catch on and make soman.

 
HowlingFrog [TotalFark] 2005-06-23 10:16:35 PM  
Here's the thread that seperates the REAL meat-eaters from the wimps...

/I'd hit it

 
geoffb91 2005-06-23 10:17:45 PM  
The logo would make a good t-shirt however.



 
HotKarl 2005-06-23 10:21:54 PM  
awwww fark, i'm chinese.

this is tame compared to the crap we eat.

/i'd eat a pig's ass if it's cooked right.

 
dmCraz 2005-06-23 10:22:08 PM  
I'm sure it tastes like shiat, just like all other soy food.

 
Gin_Fueled_Farking 2005-06-23 10:22:47 PM  
I would so eat that

 
JackBurton 2005-06-23 10:24:18 PM  
Adios, Hofu!

 
mikeyb_houtex 2005-06-23 10:26:13 PM  
♪ "That's all right, that's OK, you never ate me anyway, and I think it's time for you to just move on...

♬ "That's all right, that's OK, I bet you never thought you'd hear me say that I think it's time for you to eat another dumb blond...

♩ 'cause i'm tofu, oh no..."

/Sorry Hoku! Just seemed to fit, sorta... ;)
//what ever happened to her?
///off to find out!

 
theoneontheleft 2005-06-23 10:26:42 PM  
HotKarl

it's called boston butt. delishush!

 
Minus1Kelvin 2005-06-23 10:28:10 PM  
Hofu: I thought that it was a martial art practiced by women who provide sexual congress for monetary gain?

Oh well...

 
xBodo99 2005-06-23 10:29:06 PM  
GoSurfing:

Part of the INFORMED's job is to inform the IGNORANT's of the truth....not to just remind them of the ignorance.


This is false. The ignorant, by definition, willfully choose not to learn or understand. No one has an obligation to do anything for you.

 
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