If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Fark SearchWeb Fark

         more options... Create account

(Canoe) Asinine Mountain biker forgets his training wheels; files million-dollar lawsuit after falling off his bike   (canoe.ca) divider line 182
More: Asinine  
•       •       •

25235 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Apr 2005 at 11:21 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

182 Comments   (+0 »)


Archived thread
First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
microsofth8r 2005-04-17 05:52:23 PM  
Did the Trial Lawyer, fall and hurt him self? Want mommy to kiss it and make it all better?


//not crying

 
SpinStopper [TotalFark] 2005-04-17 05:54:53 PM  
Meh. One million dollars Canadian is, what, $10 US?

 
Zipster 2005-04-17 06:02:10 PM  
So he was mountain biking, he hit a hole, and fell down?

Isn't that pretty much the farking definition of mountain biking ;)

 
whatshisname 2005-04-17 06:10:01 PM  
If you don't crash spectacularly and really hurt yourself when mountain biking, you're not trying hard enough.

/pussy

 
Myownepitaph [TotalFark] 2005-04-17 06:11:04 PM  
Yeah, this guy is a grade A assclown. Everytime I get on the bike, I know full well the chances of hurting myself, possibly seriously. If they can't handle that, they should take up golf.

 
gopher321 [TotalFark] 2005-04-17 06:23:28 PM  
"The 31-year-old personal injury lawyer from Toronto claims he suffered fractured vertebrae and several soft-tissue injuries when his bicycle came to an abrupt stop after hitting a hole in the trail, sending him over the handlebars."

Read: ambulance chaser.

/hope he got squashed in the nads

 
ZAZ [TotalFark] 2005-04-17 06:28:04 PM  
So he was mountain biking, he hit a hole, and fell down? Isn't that pretty much the farking definition of mountain biking ;)

Sometimes you hit a rock and fall down.

 
microsofth8r 2005-04-17 06:31:08 PM  
Green Light!!!

Is this your first? What is your secret.

//now I am crying

 
Snarfangel [TotalFark] 2005-04-17 06:32:41 PM  
This is Canada so it doesn't really count, but I think the U.S. Government Printing Office should create The Big Book of Stuff That Can Hurt You and hand copies out to everyone in school.

That way, when people do stupid things later on in life that nearly gets them Darwined out of the gene pool, the courts can say "You were warned about that in school, so STFU and GBTW."

 
Edsel 2005-04-17 06:35:12 PM  
Frickin' Canadians. An American lawyer would NEVER do something like this.

 
SuperSix-Two 2005-04-17 06:42:04 PM  
Bikerfox?

:>

 
SpinStopper [TotalFark] 2005-04-17 06:48:44 PM  
Edsel: Frickin' Canadians. An American lawyer would NEVER do something like this.

You said that with tongue firmly in cheek, I hope. Eh.

 
BackAssward [TotalFark] 2005-04-17 07:25:22 PM  
Whiny-ass babies are ruining the world... or this part of it anyway. You should read seanbaby's articles:

The Whine Lovers

on a positive note, this is in Canada, where many frivolus lawsuits tend to get thrown out. I imagine the Judge will say "Let me get this straight, you're a "personal injury lawer" suing for money for something you willingly did to yourself? Get the hell out of my court room!"

Hopefully, this lawer will have represented many previous BS suits, and have already pissed off the Judges for wasting their time... it would expidite the ass kicking.

 
puffy999 [TotalFark] 2005-04-17 07:26:21 PM  
What next? A gangmember gonna sue gun manufacturers for being shot?

 
2wheeljunkie [TotalFark] 2005-04-17 07:55:49 PM  
That shiat is dangerous. That's why I'm taking up skydiving.

 
Godamnlimey [TotalFark] 2005-04-17 08:14:50 PM  
Fark needs a "wanker" tag.
We also need to ban all ambulance chasers from taking part in any activity where they might possibly get a boo boo.

 
Zipster 2005-04-17 09:15:10 PM  
I knew a guy at work once that took up mountain biking in a big way. He came in every monday looking like he just lost the world heavyweight title and saying how many new parts he needed for his bike.

He was like: I was going down this wild hill, and there was this rock, and it smashed the front wheel, and I went over the handlebars, ha ha ha!! You should come with me next time!

I politely declined.

 
elkman 2005-04-17 10:42:46 PM  
The guy did an endo and he fractured his vertebrae? With bones that fragile, he probably didn't have any business mountain biking in the first place. He should have taken up shuffleboard or something. Or, he should have been on a paved trail. Didn't he know that there were inherent risks involved in mountain biking, or damn near every other recreational activity these days?

According to this article, the trail was only maintained as a cross country ski trail. Was this trail even promoted or signed as a mountain bike trail, or did he just decide to start riding it on a lark?

Oh, and this is just for MrNeutron:

 
elkman 2005-04-17 10:59:10 PM  
I did a little more research. (Can you tell I'm tweaked by this story?) According to a mountain bike trail review site, the trails are rated as intermediate to advanced, and one comment says: "It is very easy to get going too fast on the long subtle downhills only to find a large rock in the middle of the trail. Bust a rim, do a header." The Bruce Grey Trails Network (one of the defendants, I think) basically promotes it as a cross-country ski trail, although they say that the trails are being used in the summer for mountain biking and horseback riding. In other words, it isn't officially promoted as a mountain bike trail.

Asshats like this should realize that there are inherent risks with mountain biking. If you can't accept the risk, don't ride. On the other hand, if you're an experienced mountain biker, realize that lawsuits won't result in safer, better-designed trails -- they result in trail closures. Nobody ever claimed that mountain bike trails are perfectly safe and free from obstacles. In fact, if they were, they'd be boring. (Just like the vision of the Minnesota DNR, which wants to pave my favorite mountain bike trail on the Minnesota River bottoms -- because the bureaucracy says it has to be paved.)

OK, rant off.

 
Doomed 2005-04-17 11:30:32 PM  
This could be just him branching out into a new career. 'What can I do that could hurt me and I could sue for?' and then he goes out and does it and hurts himself and sues.

What he should really do is drive around Toronto like an old man. With all the accidents he'll get into, he should be set for life.

 
Forsythe P. Jones [TotalFark] 2005-04-17 11:31:15 PM  
If I had a dollar for every time I fell off of my bike,I'd be pretty damn close to that figure.

 
RaverRevolution [TotalFark] 2005-04-17 11:31:18 PM  
Biggest pussy alive.

 
GoodyearPimp 2005-04-17 11:31:41 PM  
Cmon guys. He just didn't want to pay the medical bills. Give the poor guy a break.

 
jay_vee 2005-04-17 11:32:25 PM  
My heart bleeds.

Maybe I can sue him over that.

 
skinink 2005-04-17 11:33:06 PM  

 
Adan 2005-04-17 11:34:44 PM  
There is nothing for me to say in this thread that has not been posted already about this man's complete lack of brain power.

/That is all
//what a dumbass

 
Chris9450 2005-04-17 11:35:10 PM  
Retard.

::runs off to find something obviously stupid and lacking common sense to receive millions from::

 
Rod6er 2005-04-17 11:36:17 PM  
a personal injury lawyer sustains personal injuries and sues?

I'm not one to scream "Conspiration!" needlessly but if I were the judge, I'd tell him to atleast hire another lawyer, because this seems fishy as hell. plus he has nothing to lose, no fees since he is probably representing himself.

/we need the huge animated rolleye puking infinite + 1 rolleyes .gif
/actually we need all possible rolleyes for this one - now!

 
theding0 2005-04-17 11:36:26 PM  
For a real thrill, redo the gears and ride the trail with the bikes going backwards
/kidding...doesn't mountain bike
//wouldn't be surprise if one of those crazy mofos tried it though...get it on film..I wanna watch.

 
madmaxxam 2005-04-17 11:37:00 PM  
Too bad he only fractured his vertebrae, and didn't destroy them completely. Then he might not be around to file this awful lawsuit.

My father, sister, and I all do quite a bit of biking, mountain and road (more road, but hey...). All of us have hurt ourselves many times doing each, although the worst accidents have been on the road and involved cars, my sister was hit bad by a fed-ex truck and got about $12,000 for her wrecked bike and injured knee. When I go mountain biking I pretty much know there's a good chance I won't come out unscathed. I've flown over handle bars many times, had wheels slide out on unsturdy surfaces, gone into holes, rocks, etc. It's all part of the fun. I've never complained about my injuries, or even thought of suing (and wouldn't have even had I broken something on a rough trail).

 
blondietrix 2005-04-17 11:37:11 PM  
Okay well let's just ban going outdoors since there's a chance I'll be hit by a bus. Oh let's ban lightning too. Hey I'll just sue God since living is hazardous to my health. Perfect I have just solved the world's problems!!

 
whidbey [TotalFark] 2005-04-17 11:37:51 PM  
I'll say something:

Waaah. Farking crybaby. And he's a lawyer to boot. Nothing like misusing your Law School Skillz to play the system like the stock market...

I'm curious as to how that million dollar settlement breaks down. Does it cost that much to fix his broken brain?

 
Rod6er 2005-04-17 11:38:41 PM  
GoodyearPimp:

Cmon guys. He just didn't want to pay the medical bills. Give the poor guy a break.


this sentence has so much sarcasm, my head just asplode. but you know we have socialized health-care, right?

/seriously, i can see 3 sarcasms in that line. record

 
Cinema Simulated 2005-04-17 11:38:46 PM  
This is Canada so it doesn't really count, but I think the U.S. Government Printing Office should create The Big Book of Stuff That Can Hurt You and hand copies out to everyone in school.

That would only open the government up for massive lawsuits down the line when someone is hurt by something not listed in the officially-sanctioned government publication.

This story gets better. Not only is the guy suing "the outing club, the ski trails committee, the regional trails network, the local municipality and the province," but his wife is _also_ suing: ".... his wife, Ashley, who wasn't biking sustained a loss of guidance, care and companionship" she might reasonably have expected if he hadn't run into said hole."

Definition of an asshat

 
Oohaahpaulwella 2005-04-17 11:40:04 PM  
Edsel: Frickin' Canadians. An American lawyer would NEVER do something like this.

Actually, you're right -- at least in Cali-for-ni-A, where you are not permitted to sue because of a defect on a public recreational trail. Well, actually, you can sue -- it's just that your case will be dismissed.

 
madmaxxam 2005-04-17 11:40:35 PM  
From the other article and they created a situation of danger from which the plaintiff, despite all reasonable efforts and precautions, was unable to extricate himself.

How about this reasonable precaution: Stay off the trail if you're an asshole looking to sue people. Thank you.

 
mander 2005-04-17 11:40:42 PM  
What. A. farking. Jackass.

 
whidbey [TotalFark] 2005-04-17 11:43:24 PM  
I wonder if Toronto has a radical bike organization like a chapter of Critical Mass and if they wouldn't mind paying the good Solictor a visit very very soon...

 
Fish in a Barrel 2005-04-17 11:43:28 PM  
I think he took the "personal" in "personal injury lawyer" a bitt too literally.

 
fuque 2005-04-17 11:43:58 PM  
Bring on the Canadians bragging about how they have sane tort laws... wait

This happened in Canada?...

Bring on the Canadians pointing out how this would somehow be much worse in the US

 
SweetDude 2005-04-17 11:44:03 PM  
"We have hundreds of miles of amazing trails in this area and most of us realize that if you take on this sport, you take on a challenge and a risk"

/I hope the lawyer who has no other clientelle but himself loses.

//Enough Said!

 
Rod6er 2005-04-17 11:44:19 PM  
Cinema Simulated:

That would only open the government up for massive lawsuits down the line when someone is hurt by something not listed in the officially-sanctioned government publication.


the beauty of this plan is that the book would consist of a cover, a page, the back.

a single word on the page: Everything.

 
evaned 2005-04-17 11:44:27 PM  
If they can't handle that, they should take up golf.

No, in golf you can get hit by a golf ball. (One of my friends just had this happen a couple weeks ago actually.)

He should hang out in the nearest underground bunker, grow his own food so he can be sure it is contaminant free, and filter the incoming air. I'd NORAD would be a good place, but he might trip and fall off of the buildings. (Which are suspended from springs and so are a couple feet off the ground.)

 
Cathedralmaster 2005-04-17 11:44:28 PM  
This is like a dude suing cause he didn't have a good time with a prostitute:

1. This dude knew the risks before he got on.
2. It's his own fault he hit the hole.
3. No amount of whining will erase the fact that when the critical moment came, he fell off.

 
beerdiva 2005-04-17 11:44:34 PM  
I want video. And if I don't break a gut laughing, no money.

/personal injury laeyers are a$$hats

 
Bhruic 2005-04-17 11:44:50 PM  
Having grown up in the Collingwood area, let me just say that this is a prime example of why people from Toronto are held in general disdain. Happy to see your dollars. Happier to see your backside on the way out.

/Now lives in Toronto

 
DasCoop [TotalFark] 2005-04-17 11:44:55 PM  
I should very much like to talk to this guy and call him an asshat. It's a good thing for me I'm in Arizona. He'd probably sue me for hurting his feelings.

 
Abox 2005-04-17 11:46:48 PM  
2005-04-17 09:15:10 PM Zipster
"I knew a guy at work once that took up mountain biking in a big way. He came in every monday looking like he just lost the world heavyweight title and saying how many new parts he needed for his bike."

I knew guys at work that knew me as that guy when I first took up mountain biking. It was like my own personal Fight Club.

 
Tekdude 2005-04-17 11:46:48 PM  
Snarfangel: That way, when people do stupid things later on in life that nearly gets them Darwined out of the gene pool, the courts can say "You were warned about that in school, so STFU and GBTW."

Throw an RTFM in there as well.

 
Rod6er 2005-04-17 11:46:50 PM  
fuque: Bring on the Canadians pointing out how this would somehow be much worse in the US

the difference being, we dont have as many suing morons as the united states?

which is quite logical, since you are 300 millions or so and we are ~tenth of that, ~30 millions.

 
Displayed 50 of 182 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all


[Continue Farking]