My brothers school was just put on lock down because some kid said they saw a student in a trenchcoat with a gun. It was a construction worker in overalls with a nailgun.

Fear & paranoia are the new American values.

In other news, student's parents file lawsuit against producer of King Kong after student puts on gorilla mask and climbs to roof of school.

I blame GTA: San Andreas and, uh, Tv...yeah...

Welcome to our future.

/so glad i graduated from high school ages ago...

Ditto RickTheVote.

I'd be more worried about what is going on inside the school than on the roof of the cafeteria.

Like, I dunno, severely underpaid teachers, overcrowded classrooms, shameless soft drink sponsor penetration, unmotivated students, teenaged pregnancy...

But lookout, A-student with a Halloween mask! Bane of our youth!

Heh. Penetration.

If the administration was this paranoid when I was in high school the place would have been locked down every day.

The US is sooooooo paranoid.

BOO!

Bunch of pussies.......

Observe the majestic silverback high school senior in his natural habitat: the back seat of a police car.

gameshowhost

So... did the kid deliver the singing telegram or not?

I laughed way too much at that

Does this school have an e-mail address?

Maybe someone could be nice enough to forward this thread to school officials...

School board member Robert Moore said his daughter, a sophomore, called him on a cell phone Tuesday morning to say police were at the school and students were under a lockdown. She was not overly alarmed, Moore said.


"In today's day and age, that's a precautionary measure," Moore said


In any other day and age however, that's effing retarded.

They were probably expecting gorilla warfare

/get the banana guns

...and called authorities, who sent officers, a state police helicopter and a bomb squad.

Do dynamite monkeys become bomb gorillas when they mature?

I'm glad I graduated the same year columbine happened. After that, things got crazy....

"Whatever happened to Fay Wray?/ That delicate satin draped frame/ As it clung to her thigh/ How I started to cry..."

/obscure?

INCOMING BANANA... TAKE COVER!

I for one welcome our new paranoid overlords.

I love how you can get arrested today for pranks that used to send you to the office.

Please stop the planet. I want off.

"Your Honor, move to dismiss this case on account of 'Boys will be boys?"

/obvious

There must be some video game character we can blame for this...

Why does Donkey Kong hate America?

I never realized how much of a metaphor the early Mario is for modern politics. The blonde princess is in the grasp of the evil terrorist. Fighting against the tyranical, oil-burning Gorilla, blue-collar Mario attacks with his hammer in hand.

"In today's day and age, that's a precautionary measure," Moore said.

WTF?? Is Al-Qaeda planning to kill us all in monkey costumes? Actually, that would be kind of cool. Kind of like clowns lynching people and drive by pieings.

When every activity in criminalized, every citizen becomes a criminal.

fark the system.

LOVELAURA is so right.

In non-click, potentially erroneous future image-showing goodness:

Thanks Imageshack! (assuming it allows it to stay up)

I can't get over that drawing. GIS has shown the political insight of such an old arcade game.

It's sad it has come to this, folks can't have innocent fun anymore...

depafeo
Kind of like clowns lynching people and drive by pieings.
shiat, now I'm gonna have nightmares...clowns..arrrghh..clowns.
// although I'm still giggling like a schoolgirl at 'drive by pieings'

This guy just won the thread - deserves reposting:

OffCamber
I'd be more worried about what is going on inside the school than on the roof of the cafeteria.
Like, I dunno, severely underpaid teachers, overcrowded classrooms, shameless soft drink sponsor penetration, unmotivated students, teenaged pregnancy...
But lookout, A-student with a Halloween mask! Bane of our youth!

"In today's day and age, that's a precautionary measure," Moore said.

Yeah, because terrorists, let alone anyone else, really cares about Oley, Pa.

My high school have been under lockdown on a weekly basis by these standards. Monkey Mask = bomb squad and helicopters?

Renting Porky's is going to put you on the same government list as buying The Anarchist Cookbook.

He was so ugly, they used his face to make molds for Gorilla cookies!!


/Got nuthin, going to work.

2005-02-15 10:18:11 PM pixelboy

"In today's day and age, that's a precautionary measure," Moore said.

Yeah, because terrorists, let alone anyone else, really cares about Oley, Pa.

They didn't think it was terrorists. They thought it was another Columbine, except with one kid with a gorilla mask on the roof instead of two with trenchcoats in the cafeteria.

Of course nowadays, if someone farts too loudly in the school washroom, they think it's another Columbine. I swear, even if those two little psychos hadn't killed anyone, I would still cockpunch them for condemning generations of future students to these ridiculous "security" measures. Of course, Harris and Klebold aren't to blame for the school admins who salivate at every opportunity to play prison warden or expel an honors student for a harmless prank.

My high school had a visit from the police after a riot was reported.

The riot: some student council candidate-nerd gave out 'crickets' to click before the election assembly and the principal panicked from all the rebellious clicking.

Ahh, the 60's. Good times...not really.

005-02-15 09:02:10 PM o2sk8

My brothers school was just put on lock down because some kid said they saw a student in a trenchcoat with a gun. It was a construction worker in overalls with a nailgun.

Nailgun didn't you ever play Quake 1, those can do some damage.

Renting Porky's is going to put you on the same government list as buying The Anarchist Cookbook.

The "bored suburban morons" list, you mean? I hope the government is monitoring me, it would amuse me to know that intelligence analysts have to review hours of videotape of me wacking off.

My high school had a unique design with lots of open space. It resembled a mall but with classrooms instead of stores.

Anyway, one day some kid decided it would be cool to jump from the 2nd floor onto the cement ground floor. He jumped over the guard rail looked down for a few seconds as kids began to cheer "JUMP!". As he let go his jeans got caught on part of the rail and he fell head first instead of feet first.

The kid's head must have been filled with rocks because he didn't get seriously hurt.

Hmm...Where exactly were the parents on this one. I'm sure glad the school overreacted to this one to, so I have to here about another kid who will "never be able to go to college and will wind up sucking dik in a parking lot to pay for his $500 a day banana habit." When are these people going to learn that once you slip these kids the banana, they never want to go back.

davidkrystal
"Whatever happened to Fay Wray?/ That delicate satin draped frame/ As it clung to her thigh/ How I started to cry..."

'Cause I wanted to be dressed just the same [By Sue Blane]
Give yourself over to absolute pleasure
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh
Erotic nightmares beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever
Can't you just see it. Whoa ho ho!

/not obscure, its every Saturday Night
//plays Eddie

Wow, that's only a couple miles from where I live. Kutztown/Fleetwood/Oley Fark party anyone?

MrNeutron, I'm sure that's illegal. How? I dunno, maybe under some nebulous terrorism or drug law which allows them to arrest anyone for anything. A lot of those lately it seems.

I'm glad my friends and I delivered the Ex-Lax cake to our teacher years ago. Probably would have been arrested today.

Still, looking back now, it was a pretty stupid thing to do.

King Kong is the biggest terrorist of them all!

Why does Donkey Kong hate America?

I never realized how much of a metaphor the early Mario is for modern politics. The blonde princess is in the grasp of the evil terrorist. Fighting against the tyranical, oil-burning Gorilla, blue-collar Mario attacks with his hammer in hand.

Isn't Mario communist?

Look, lets just get this over with and put all these kids in prison. That way we can control their every movement, watch them, search them, make them pee in cups, etc. to our hearts content.

Why our society has decided that it wants to raise a generation of prisoners I do not know. (And you can't blame all this on the current President. He has very little influence over teachers and school administrators I'm afraid as these loons belong pretty much completely to the other side this time).

The confluence of liberal gun fear combined with conservative drug fear results in choking the life and joy out of a whole generation of kids.

lockdown, schmockdown, my 7 year old caused the school to get locked down last year because he didn't come in from recess when the kindergarteners were called, and noone noticed HE WAS MISSING until they were all snug back in class...then they did the big LOCK DOWN and all the staff went a-huntin.
/he was on the playground, didn't even notice.
//sadly, as soon as the code was announced, lots of the teachers knew who it had to be for...(ryan gets around)

OffCamber: Does this school have an e-mail address?

Maybe someone could be nice enough to forward this thread to school officials...

... Good idea.

Strangely enough, all email addresses have been REMOVED from the Oley Valley High website. There's emails on the Middle School website section though, so it's just a matter of finding the domain and applying the relevant staff name.

Here we have the principal (I hope this works): dma­rk­l­eyl­i­a­mol­eys­d­k12p­aus

deputy (same logic applied, not sure if it works): j­um­marinoliamol­eys­d­k12p­a­us

And here we have the only email I was able to sniff out from the HIGH school section, not the middle school section: d­s­c­hmal­d­ie­nstl­i­amoley­sdk­1­2­paus

Internet, oh how I love you. I'm off to express my disapproval to the principal and give him a handy link to this thread.