OK, so who's got the link to the original contest???

Where is that old Photoshop Archive? I've seen it before but have no clue where it is anymore.

Btw:

Origianal Link (pops)

Welcome to another edition of "Let's stir up some shiat so I can get attention!"

I for one would think it would be pretty cool to be in a photoshop contest. Also, he may have just made himself a clich.

or even better yet.... a cliche'

should have finished RTFA... Columnist wasn't badmouthing after all. Live and you learn I guess.

The article also appears in the Oregonian Newspaper.
Open the front page and on the inset is:
Wil Wheaton.

talking about his connections with Oregon.

concidence that Fark and Wil are mentioned in the same newspaper, on the same day.?

/read the paper this morning
/printed article shows some of the photoshops.

anyone got a fresca?

OMG I RTFA LMAO. JK

"...the planet's meanest Photoshop jockeys"

Someone give me a high-five!

/holds up hand

Wow. For a journalist, that's quite telling. Either he's quietly giddy over the attention or has a low threshold of pain. Those pictures weren't NEARLY as horrible as he implied they'd be. Poor guy, I'd hate for some poor girl to call him a limp dick in public. He'd probably pull a Bud Dwyer or drive his car into a phone pole in his grief.

I loved being a PS subject.

/attention whoring

you know what that lochness monster said? he said....he said..about two-fifty..

Sorry, but I can't take a self promoting "Dork on a Segway" seriously.

/There, that should see him off when he reads this thread for his next article

This guy gives himself too much credit...

damn.... nothing about the jet-pack.

I give 3:1 odds that he is reading these posts for a follow up article

This guy gives himself too much credit...

this guy doesn't even give myslef giving myself enough credit!

WhaT!

who's there? Oh it's just my crappy blog

Hi Mike.
/knows this guy

a followup article on my anus!

Oh darn. I thought the article would have been written by Mustard Man.

2. Terror: Then again, they also will pick apart your physical flaws. In one manipulation, I was declared "a dork on a scooter." I was beaten by a mob. I was animated to drive off a cliff. Trailer hitches were inserted in my . . . back pocket.

Seems he got off pretty easy.

Sergeant Crash:

a cliche?

We can submit our own pictures to be photoshoped?

Man, I have some GREAT pictures of me that would easily be photoshopped to mock my fat nerdish figure.

you know what that lochness monster said? he said....he said..about two-fifty..

You mean tree-fitty.

Original Pic

What?! You gave that monster another damn treefiddy?!

Chef's dad: Don't matter what we had for dinner woman! Now this alien had a big head and big black eyes, and it was all bent over me. I said "What do you want from me alien?!" and do you know what he said?
Chef's mom: Treefiddy
Chef's dad: Let me tell the damn story now! He said "treefiddy" And so I realized I that it wasn't no alien, it was that goddam Loch Ness monster again trying to trick me into giving him treefiddy by dressing up like an alien. Don't that just beat all?!
Chef's mom: I just given him treefiddy the week before
Chef's dad: What?! You gave that monster another damn treefiddy?!
Chef's mom: He tricked me
Chef's dad: Well no wonder the damn monster keeps coming back to our house! You keep giving it
treefiddy!

I wish I hadn't missed the original thread the first time around...

Ya know, I remember seeing this Photoshop when it ran. I forgot that a segway was in the picture. All I remembered was the picture of a homo wearing a blue coat and looking remarkably like George Michael.
Perhaps he really did have a trailer hitch up his anus.

I'm pretty sure he just stepped out from behind the green dumpster in the picture. He was back there giving fellatio to a dumpster bum.
He also seems to know how to grab the segways handles just like he grabs another mans privates. Good strong grip.

Hopefully this'll make his next article.....

Dire, nice. :)

I remember this contest and I laughed as hard at his article as I did when I saw the PS's of him on that dumb ass segway..

/almost tempted to make this Farker a cliche'
/somehow thinks that's what his underlying motive may be.
/really struggling NOT to PS his ass with some BUKKAKE or something.

fighting the temptation -
I will not go to the dark side... But Junkie... I am your father...

/off topic
Hey IISJunkie, I'm looking for a good IIS admin book. any suggestions?
/back on topic
Gameshowhost, just coming up with something stupid to say that
might make this guy write another article.

JabbaTheButt - dude, do you have something you'd like to get off your chest?

the_gospel_of_thomas: Even Earrings can be fun. (boobies)



/took me a very long time to quit that link....

//finally saw the connection....

///think I'll save that link for later....

i remember that contest - was a funny one.

Well, as the author of the Oregonian article in question AND a long-time loyal Farker, I guess I'll address a couple of these comments and then slink away, doomed.

(1) jamspoon: My editor at the paper, after seeing the Photoshop thread, came up with the idea of doing a first-person story about the experience. That's the end of it. While I've certainly been guilty of self-promoting my work -- when you're selling writing and comics, that, unfortunately, is how you make a living -- that wasn't my thinking when I sent the picture to Fark. I won't be writing about the experience in print again.

(2) Sergeant Crash: If I just made myself a Fark cliche, that would be pretty damn funny. I wasn't aware of any ban on submitting photos of yourself, and I didn't want to subject the OTHER guy I shot on a Segway to this process; I just thought if by chance the thread was approved, it would be funny to e-mail to friends.

(3) ZebraPix: "Either he's quietly giddy over the attention or has a low threshold of pain." Both, sort of. I thought the original thread was hilarious and inventive -- I'm a Photoshop-thread junkie, and being part of one was a cheap thrill -- and my day job gives you a fairly thick skin (he said, realizing that was inviting more homophobic riffs from JabbaTheButt).

(4) GameShowHost: Feel free to e-mail your banned Photoshop entry to me. Would love to see it.

(5) Howling Frog: Yeah, I know I got off pretty easy. For some reason I expect that grace period has come to an immediate and terrifying end. Do please keep in mind that I was fairly complimentary of the 'shop jockeys in the article. (Like that's gonna help.)

JabbaTheButt - IIS has pretty much moved over & integrated with Application Services so if you want a good book start reading up on Sharepoint Services, Portal Server, Project Server and Sharepoint Team services. All are going to SQL backend in Enterprise solutions and geared to making Microsoft the all - in - one solution. But whats new.
If you need any help though, I'd be glad to assist.

/iisjunkie

Dire wins the thread for best usage of Haruharu Haruko.

My favorite part of being the subject of a ps contest was being turned into the incredible hulk.

Ha Ha! Diese Abbildungen sind sehr lustig und der Mann in der Abbildung auf dem scooter, das herauf auch gezeigt wird! Ich mag wirklich Fark-, das es mir immer unseres Wohlwollens in Richtung zu allen Mnnern versichert!

Sprechen Sie Deutsches jemand?

Gee, if you're gonna be a good sport about it, what's the point of making mean-spirited darkly sarcastic observations?

/just kidding

//will continue with comments

I can't believe the paper wouldn't at least spring for TF money so you could see the vicious meta-threads.

What's that I hear?

Shameless self-promoting journalist HudsonVC offered to sponsor 3 free months of TotalFark for the first 150 ghetto Farkers to post in here?

Cool, thanks for being so big time, HudsonVC.

HudsonVC

My editor at the paper, after seeing the Photoshop thread, came up with the idea of doing a first-person story about the experience.

"C'mon, Johnny," Frances said. "Gimme a headline." Elmer clapped his hands softly. "A freak animal story - for five hundred words."
Converse shook his head.
"for Christ's sake!" He walked to the window and back. "Birds..." "Watch this!" Elmer told Frances. He leaned a hand on Converse's shoulder like a track coach. "Birds What?" Elmer asked softly. "Birds nothing!"
Elmer removed his hand. "Birds Starve to Death!" Converse sat down on a desktop. "Starving birds," he said. "All right! He turned to Elmer in weary anger. "Skydiver Devoured By Starving Birds!" Frances stared at him in amazement. "I'm going nuts," Converse said.
Elmer was already sketching it on a layout sheet.
"Excellent. I love it. Only you can write it."

Robert Stone, Dog Soldiers, 1973

/in dialup deadzone, using imagination and memory only, praying for DSLAM so I can PS at speed.

Can I keep my ghetto fark account? I like "keeping it real" and "giving props to my peeps" and "kicking it in the box" and "Shoving it."

For the record, DarkJohson made this: Earrings

HudsonVC you got off easy. At least Aarkieboy didn't put you in a bra and panties.

thanks to those who gave kudos

my favorite fark photoshopping technique involves incorporating haruko about to smash the piss out of the subject with her rickenbacker

i guess it's my trademark for PS threads

gopher321: Someone give me a high-five!

/holds up hand


Man, you've been holding that up a long time... OK then

/high-five