Submitter gets one point taken off for not using the tag.

Err, Asinine tag.

Why doesn't html work for me? I pay my $5.00 a month. Do I have to pay another $5.00 to have html privilages.

Soon, there will be a followup about the $17 Large that his wife left behind in her purse

Yet another reason why I believe a short story about the cause of death should be carved into everybody's headstone.
Attendance at graveyards would skyrocket.

Well, from the sound of this guys family, They all need to go on a hunting trip in wisconsin. And bring their lawyer with them.

Tack, assuming you are coding it correctly, it's because you lost HTML privilages for awhile for some infraction. It couldn't have been too serious otherwise you would have been given a complete timeout.

I blame the butterfly.

Go ahead Ohta.

Bennyhana? You making it through this okay man?

Cause if not, we'll take up a collection for your legal expenses.

Looks like I better go get some teppan-yaki before the goddam lawyers have their way...

I prefer the smoking onion volcano

You have to admit, of all the ways a Benihana chef could have killed the man--his expert wizardry with knives, his ability to dice raw meat midair, his precise spatularic stylings--he cleverly used a common shrimp.

Those ninjas that disguise themselves as Benihana chefs are as cunning as they are evil...

thats damn embarassing.

how'd he die?
dodging a shrimp.

Took my 6 year old to Benihana for the first time a few weeks ago.

When the chef got the onion volcano going, and was doing the spinning spatula thing, I noticed my kid pushing his chair back from the table a little.

I said to him, "Don't worry, the guy's an expert, he been doing this for years and hasn't killed anybody."

After a five second pause, my son turns to me and says, "Yet".

Damn kid is a fortune teller and a smartass.

You want shrimp?

...defense attorney Andrew B. Kaufman also questioned whether Colaitis was trying to avoid the flying shrimp or catch it in his mouth.

Bwahahaha!

I'm laughing at the man's name, not his idiotic family.

I love the food at Benihana's. Gotta go there again soon.

So by this thinking...if I were to throw a banana peel into a public trash can in the city, and then someone else pulls it out of the trash to be sure none was wasted then drops it on the ground in the middle of a city crosswalk where a pedestrian slips on it and falls in the middle of the busy street where a car trying to avoid the pedestrian smashes into another car, and forces the struck car to smash into an office building where an innocent worker getting a drink at the water cooler gets run over by said car.....So does that mean the the innocent worker's family could sue me for setting into action a chain of events that led to the worker's death?

Sounds ridiculous to me. If the guy had jerked his neck out because he was avoiding a bumble bee or something...the same thing would've happened.

Bad ruck!

i like shrimp

I thought it was gonna say he choked on it or something...

This won't even hold up court. If I acted on reflex alone, there'd be a lot more broken noses and smashed cars around.

Thank god it wasn't death by lasagna...else he'd get 40 years minimum...

I heard they cremated the victim. At the funeral, everybody noticed the warm smell of Colaitis rising up in the air.

//I'll be here all night, try the veal

Loss of consortium?

Just because the guy's wife has some puritanical hangups about necrophilia? How is that Benihana's fault?

This sounds like an awful long chain of causation. Not to mention assumption of the risk--if the guy was at McDonald's or something, then yeah, flying food is not to be expected. But flying food is half the reason why people go to a place like this to begin with.

Prediction: they settle for slightly less than what it would take to go to court and win. If anything, they should look into a malpractice claim regarding the first operation.

Using this lawyer's logic and the rule of six degrees of separation, anyone can now sue anyone for anything...

WTF. To die that easily means you are pre-farked up. The dude was so weak ANYTHING would have killed him. If he had been at a ballgame and he ducked for a foul ball, his family would now be suing the team, player and ballpark. As if the gold digging family actually believes the guy would have lived forever if it they didn't go to the restaurant. THis case is another example of how screwed up the US legal system is.

According to Ferenzo, Colaitis, a furrier in his early 40s, had gathered with his wife, two sons and four stepdaughters to celebrate one of the boys' birthdays.

Is this anything like in The Shining?

This is silly. Maybe my math is wrong and all, but 1 + 1 does not equal 3. It's gonna be pretty difficult to prove that Benihana was responsible for this man's death.

Shouldn't the doctors be at fault...... if you read the article, the doctors said that ifhe didn't have the surgery (that killed him), another injury of that type would have left him paralyzed....
couldn't any type of neck-snapping incident leave anyone paralyzed??????

He died as a result of complications from the surgery. The surgery was optional. HE chose to take it.



why do we scream "tort reform" when we need "frivolous reform". F*ck these morons who sue people completely unrelated to the actual cause of death (which was the surgery)

And I thought the most dangerous event was the creation of the Benihana Onion Volcano of Sake.

Perfect law school exam question on proximate cause. 1boredguy, you're not the proximate cause in that situation; the guy who took it out of the can is.

Lawyers can be such farktards.

/lawyer

1boredguy

Sounds ridiculous to me. If the guy had jerked his neck out because he was avoiding a bumble bee or something...the same thing would've happened.

Except bumblebees don't have large bank accounts.

"If it hadn't been for that horse, I never would have graduated college."

The Third Man nice. i wonder if he later spoke to the family through an ouiji board, saying, "this could be heaven or this could be hell".

How did that lawyer get through law school without grasping the concept of proximate cause?

robogun:

If he had been at a ballgame and he ducked for a foul ball, his family would now be suing the team, player and ballpark.

Actually, he'd sue the rancher who sold the leather to the ball manufacturer who made the ball.

nectar_of_the_goddess


hey, why only pornstars.... i'm sure there are many women out there who were 'accidentally' given facials...



p.s., wanna star in a movie i'm making? (I'm JUST KEEEEEDING!)



/ferecito

I can sort of see a connection, but you have to figure such a fragile individual would have encountered something else at least as dangerous as a bit of shrimp eventually anyway. Ever walk into the basement and jump when that bit of cobweb hits you in the face ?

ok, guy injures his neck, waits 6 months for surgery, has a second procedure because the doctor screwed up, then he dies five months AFTER THAT.


And so they are suing the restaurant?

Sigh.

Sounds more like malpractice than flying shrimp to me.

trippdogg
Using this lawyer's logic and the rule of six degrees of separation, anyone can now sue anyone for anything...

i'm suing you for loss of consortium.

we might be able to settle if you get me an upscale hooker.

Ferenzo said that the chef began flipping pieces of hot food toward the diners, once burning one of Colaitis' sons. Asked to stop, the attorney said, the chef responded only with a smile and allegedly continued tossing morsels at his patrons.


I love the visual of the chef just smiling and nodding, and ignoring everything the family just said.

The Third Man

or was it--the warm smell of colitis...

He should start with the shrimp boat captain and work backwards. By the time he got to the doctor that actually screwed up the operation he'd have had a least 10 shots at finding a stupid jury...

Judge Fury Rules.....

The defendant Gets to hit the corpse of the man 2 times for flinching.

case dismissed.

Wait, i'm gonna sneeze...
aaa....
aaa....
aaa....foreseeability and coming to the danger...choo
'scuse me.