I'd vaseline and duct tape it.

Obviously the submitter was typing one handed. Miss America. USA is just quicker.

id hit it with my penis.

They choose the winner based on personality, though... right?

A victory for the B-cup.

Maybe she got the hurricane sympathy vote.

Roll Tide

She's a BOBFOC (Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch)

lol @ bobfoc

Arrr! I would plunder her booty!

You boys are so funny. We all know the real reason she won is that she's a good girl, pretty, nice to dogs and old people, and she performed oral sex on every judge twice.

Get some implants, flatty.

That face....yucky

Her teeth remind me of that Friends episode where Ross has the glow-in-the-dark bleaching.

"

I'd hit it, but I'd be sure to keep my eyes below the neckline

All the hot ones are going the webcam whore route to earn that tuition.

bobfoc = classic.

Id hit it..

..then steal her crown in the middle of the night and prance around like a princess...

Miss Florida was better

Miss Florida has a mullet.

Miss Florida is ten times hotter. I suck at html, so just look up "Jenna Edwards".

I'd hit it like drunk in a trailer park.

I liked Miss Lousiana, she was hot and dumb as a rock. It would have been funny as hell if she would have won.

/arrrrr matey!

Bambi, she looks more like a blockomo to me.

blockomo = she only looks good from a block o' mo away.

/would still hit it... cuz she's Miss America and all....

darkhorse23 Sounds like she's the perfect woman.

/bobfoc: comededy gold

Didn't like her.

She's wearing an evil face. The boobies are the eyes. And the bottom has an evil single tooth grin.

just take the clothes off already... and put it on hbo.

Both Florida and Alabama's faces are lacking, considering that they're supposedly the most beautiful women in their respective states.

Miss NJ encouraging kids to join a gang at an early age.

What boobies? Very funny, LaLiSa.

Swapped during a commercial to watch the crowning. Not sure how Miss Louisiana (runner-up) lost to this butterface.

Final two

Miss Utah! That's what I'm talking about.

Who says inbreeding can't be pretty?

I see the evil face!!

nutkick_42: What does that symbol mean? I've seen it being used for years from rockers to rappers, what is its significance?

Miss Florida has quite the rack.

Artificial skin colour, smile and breasts. Yup. Appropriate.

/would still hit it.

I've seen a face like Miss Alabama's before. It had a bucket of oats hanging from it.

Be the first on your block to own one of the Miss USA Blowup Doll Collection

Now just remember its a SCHOLARSHIP Pageant....

I am monkey might fly out of my butt as I would hit them ALL!

What... no camel toe this year?

/meh

Of all the disturbing Fark posts i've ever glimpsed through the ages I would have to say Fecal Pandora's tops the list.....thank you for a new year of nightmares

Yesterday - Miss Alabama
Today - Miss USA
Tomorrow - Porn Actress

omg drue that's perfect.

zorro - got any statistics to back that up with?

Preferably with links...

Thank goodness I'm not the only one who thought she was one of the worst on there. With her friggin cat eyes and clown make up. She also showed no emotion.

Miss CA was so cute and so was Miss ARK.

/not gay, but really likes pagaents.

I hate that hour-in-a-tanner tan skin. I prefer my women palish/vibrant.

/Still would hit it of course.

where's the tits at?