Last night just after 10pm my IM fired up. It was Brooks telling me to check out American Gladiators because his buddy Jeff was in it. I think it's the first time I've watched network TV in years.

The show wasn't awful but it could use some help. I've got a few suggestions:

1) Storylines. I know I'm gonna get in trouble for saying this, but the WWE is soap opera for men. That's why it works though, people follow the storylines of their favorite characters. 10 minutes of each show should be American Gladiators having WWE-style slapfights or whatever it is they do, I don't watch wrestling. About the only TV I do watch is whatever happens to be on sports channels when I'm in bars, usually freakin poker. I like poker but to me it's like watching chess or worse, Magic The Gathering tournaments on ESPN 8.

Consider also the Sports News business: it's all about off-field shenanigans. Unless something truly awesome happened in a game in the past 24 hours, ESPN News' lead story will be about Michael Vick, Roger Clemens, or (occasionally, no joke) Britney Spears.

2) America wants to see bonecrushing injuries. Everything on AG, and I mean everything, has six feet of foam padding wrapped around it. Contestants hit each other with foam covered sticks, foam covered wrecking balls, climb foam covered mountains, and so on. I'm sure the lawsuit potential is high otherwise but there's got to be a way around it. You don't see NFL players suing the NFL when they get clocked on-field.

3) Hot chicks. The female gladiators look like they could beat the ever-living hell out of me in seconds, but they're not particularly attractive (unless you're into that sort of thing, I'm not German). A few years back, FIFA's president proposed that the women's soccer players wear hot pants to increase popularity. Indignant outrage predictably ensued. However, it sure as hell would work. What's the most popular women's sport among guys? Women's Beach Volleyball. There you go.

4) Did I mention hot chicks?

In conclusion, I can't wait for the writers' strike to be over.

Disclosure: we ran a sponsored link for American Gladiators on Friday but they didn’t ask me to write this blog entry about it. In fact they might not be pleased that I wrote this at all. I’m not taking that kind of thing into consideration when writing blog entries unless you see the words (sponsored link). Just hadn’t updated the blog in awhile and the foam thing was too weird.

And yes, the Fark Blog tag still sucks. It’s on the fixit list, just not at the top. We'll get there.

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
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