Gas expected to drop to $3.50 a gallon by Labor Day. Quick: Someone blame Bush

(33)

		McDonald's is a big success in France. Maybe because it's the only restaurant there with no organ meat on the menu	(23)
		When homeowners lose their homes in forclosure, we laugh at them and call them stupid. When banks make high-risk investments on subprime debtors and lose, we issue $300,000,000,000 to bail them out	(189)
		That's it, we're screwed. Even the porn industry is suffering now	(33)
		Nissan partners with state of Tennessee to develop pure electric cars, hopes their vehicles will pass array of "hold my beer, watch this" tests	(13)
		Four out of 10 U.S. CEOs believe the weak dollar has had a negative impact on business. In related news, six out of 10 US CEOs are idiots	(32)
		GM will lose the title of world's largest automaker for the first time in 77 years	(26)
		Ford, in an effort to stop people buying small foreign cars, plans to start importing more small foreign cars. Take THAT, foreign car companies	(26)
		Not to be outdone by Amazon, Sony decides to introduce one of the most idiotic tech devices ever conceived. (This message brought to you by last year)	(112)
		Hedge-fund manager who made $3.7 billion betting on housing-market collapse is now getting ready to reverse bet and go the other way	(56)
		If you've ever wanted to swim with sea lions in a mall, now is your chance. Yeah, us neither	(90)
(AppleInsider)		Microsoft offers first hints at anti-Apple marketing blitz for Vista... FOR VISTA	(232)
		AOL may become the slut at the gangbang with Microsoft, Yahoo and Google	(8)
		How you can ease the pain of car ownership. Staying out of the back of a Volkswagen mysteriously absent	(12)
		Stocks poised to open higher for Day Three of our government-controlled economy	(26)
		Pfizer pfrofits pfreaking pfly	(6)
		The price of crude drops for another week because.... *shakes magic 8-ball*... Hurricane Dolly did NOT destroy oil rigs in the Gulf of Mexico	(26)
		Head of California's unemployment board fired	(19)
		Mama don't take my Vodafone, mama don't take my Vodafone, mama don't take my Vodafone awaaayaay	(7)
		How McDonald's is drinking Europe's milkshake	(20)

(Some Guy)		Harley-Davidson unveils their new 2009 models designed specifically for wide-assed biker babes	(31)
(The Business Sheet)		FOX morning show paid to put McDonald's coffee in front of anchors. Fortunately, they don't have to drink it	(45)
		Oil will hit $300 per barrel in the next 10 years, or about $15 per gallon at the pump	(83)
		Introducing the 2010 Dodge Charger. What's that? Oh, sorry -- ahem -- introducing the 2010 Chevy Camaro	(97)
		UAL stock soars 42 percent on news that last year, they only lost $2.7 billion, your luggage, grandmother and cat	(5)
		The "I'm robbin' it" guy finished fourth in the McDonald's MySpace jingle contest	(67)
		Congressional Budget Office says bailing out Fannie and Freddie could cost as much as spending five months in Iraq	(50)
		Washington Mutual asks Henry Paulson to help fix the U.S. housing market by implementing an 18th-century Prussian covered-bond system. What could possibly go wrong?	(23)
		As Apple's stock tanks, Wall Street bestows its vast wisdom on the world: When stocks go down, they are cheaper	(86)
		Wachovia loses $8.86 billion, cuts dividend and says, "Trust us, your money is safe here"	(100)
		Icahn calls truce in Yahoo war, agrees to return France's sovereignty	(15)
		Debt collectors finding it difficult to collect. Now resorting to sending out personalized service with guys named Guido	(74)
		Ford marks 100th birthday of the Model T by wishing they sold something nearly as popular today	(37)

		"The U.S. has become a socialist economy." Earth to Meekus, it has been since 1929. Shhhh... don't wake zombie Ayn Rand	(173)
		A map of probability of disruption of oil supply as tropical storm Dolly approaches hurricane intensity. EVERYBODY SPECULATE	(18)
		Why XM is screwed: Most new customers innocent bystanders who just happen to be buying new cars	(78)
		New study finds that firing all your reporters will affect the quality of your newspaper for some damn reason or other	(74)
		IBM's profit has risen 22 percent from last year, topping estimates	(25)
		Aw, how cute... Motorola's all butt-hurt over ex-exec going to work for Apple	(21)
(Some Guy)		Most of Philadelphia's pharmaceutical distributors made it through a rough weekend. The key word is "most"	(11)
		McDonald's: Starbucks is a great company, let's be like them... whoops	(36)
		Yahoo gives Carl Icahn three board seats and a big glass of STFU	(6)
(Times Herald Record)		Another victim of high gas prices: Carnies. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands	(99)
		European Union, tired of not being on Fark.com for a whole day, makes the acre illegal as a unit of measurement as a pathetic cry for help	(36)
		Economists emerge from their burrow, see shadows. Looks like we're in for two more quarters of recession	(48)
		Southwest Airlines has twice the market capitalization of the Big Six airlines combined, oil heged at $51 per barrel through next year and plans to expand their fleet. You are now free to move about the country	(59)

(tmj4)		Milwaukee rated #1 in the nation for (a) watered-down beer (b) coupon clipping (c) both a & b	(11)
		Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson reminds us, once again, that the US banking system is sound... but that the public should brace for months of "hard times"	(19)
		The CEO of Freddie Mac got $19.8 million in 2007. Imagine what he could have made if the company didn't lose half its value	(58)
		Well-heeled squeal but feel Japanese eel is worth more greenmeal, shun Chinese eel deals with real zeal. Still yields more appeal as a meal than seal or veal, study reveals	(34)
		You can buy almost anything on Amazon.com. Except any books by Britian's largest publisher	(29)
		Swiss bank to close accounts of all its American customers and lift the veil of secrecy that has protected its clients for centuries. Where will you hide your money now?	(72)

		It's about that time of year again. Ric Romero is SHOCKED to find out that colleges are in bed with credit card companies	(21)
		Zimbabwe issues new bank note for one hundred billion dollars. Dr. Evil approved, until he learned it's only enough to buy four oranges. Correction, three oranges	(89)
		Tattoo parlor famous for emblazoning one fan of the city of Chicago with "CHI-TONW" is now in trouble for misspelling "tomorrow" on some other guy. Tryfecta is in play	(31)
		Stock market manipulators are outraged that they would have to own something prior to selling it	(62)
		The FDIC has a list of "problem" banks, but it's secret and telling consumers which banks are likely to fail would only result in them making informed decisions like pulling their money out and we can't have that	(108)
(bizjournals)		Better Business Bureau warns citizens of traveling circus troupe. They're bringing clowns, carnies, five different names, and invalid insurance paperwork	(16)

(Some Guy)		AT&T.com: "We are proud to offer iPhone customers free access to the nation's largest Wi-Fi hotspot network with more than 17,000 hotspots." Two hours later: J/K LOL	(35)
		American Airlines cutting 1,500 jobs in maintenance. There will be a $15 charge if you'd like the fuselage to be scanned for microfractures	(27)
		Barbie now has to look upon "Bratz" dolls as a her unwanted, mentally-challenged, annoyingly-sassy, slutty little sister in a unanimous court decision	(101)
		Getting blasted in the face with pepper spray has never felt so good	(32)
		Citigroup delays inevitable insolvency another quarter by choosing to write off less than 6% of the near-worthless subprime debt it holds. Everybody sing: "We built this Citi, we built this Citi on cock and bull..."	(23)
		AMD CEO ousted on news that no one buys AMD processors anymore	(37)
		Fannie and Freddie have spent millions on lobbying. Now that they've been bailed out by the feds, and turned into de facto federal entities, shouldn't that be stopped?	(24)
		Oil prices rebound after **shakes magic 8 ball** loss of pressure in Nigeria. Yeah that is what I was thinking it would be too	(23)
		You know your company is in serious trouble when a $2.5 billion loss and the laying off of 6,000 employees is above expectations	(39)
		Never mind this Yahoo business: Microsoft's real problem is the second coming of Apple	(59)
		Blockbuster fears Netflix... and Applebee's?	(17)
		General Motors researchers are working on a windshield that combines lasers, infrared sensors and a camera to give old people's cars F-16 like capabilities. Targeting farm markets and crowds will be easier than ever	(38)
		Microsoft misses earnings by a penny, stock gets hammered, Ballmer hits the crack pipe. Apple fanboys proclaiming the superiority of Mac to PC on your right	(39)
		Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are now deemed "safe" as foreign investors gobble up high yield bonds and salivate over $10 billion stock offering. Greed may save us yet	(18)
		Starbucks announces all 600 stores they're closing. Dang, they're closing the one in my office building. Now I'll have to go clear across the street	(71)
		Generation Whine's take on the future makes Generation X's view look downright cheerful	(126)
		Because petroleum is used in every phase of the surfboard process, manufacturers are getting wiped out. Gnarly	(22)