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Sun August 02, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Click On Detroit) Interesting Michigan contemplates eliminating blue law. Contrary to popular belief, this has nothing to do with what your girlfriend won't do  (clickondetroit.com) (54)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Unlikely Brewer to start selling 1 1/2-gallon, $20 boxes of Miller Lite and Coors Light that stay fresh for 30 days  (suntimes.com) (58)

Sat August 01, 2009
(Albany Times Union) Interesting Supermarket chain tries out new checkout system - which they say is faster but will in reality leave you stuck in line behind the ninja drifter with no ID trying to pay for his case of Puddin' Pops with a check drawn on the Bank of Tehran  (timesunion.com) (102)
(LA Times) Obvious Firefox surpasses 1 billion downloads. In order to view this page, please download the latest update of Mozilla Firefox, version 23.5  (latimes.com) (74)
(AJC) Asinine Grad student ordered to pay $675k for downloading and sharing 30 songs  (ajc.com) (132)
(BBC) Obvious This just in: that Rolux watch you bought online may be a fake. Here's a slideshow or real versus fake goods - can YOU tell the difference?  (news.bbc.co.uk) (67)

Fri July 31, 2009
(CNN) Cool With a 9% gain, Dow has best July in over 20 years. Suck it tea baggers  (money.cnn.com) (85)
(Gawker) Strange You may now add "naked fatguy bullmarket" next to "deadcat bounce" in the financial jargon lexicon  (gawker.com) (18)
(Some Guy) Interesting Analyst: The high end jewelery business is on death's door as US consumers discover diamonds can't play DVDs or access the internet  (glgroup.com) (105)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Mortgage meltdown means one Florida family has a 32 story condo building all to themselves. Think of the possibilities  (news-press.com) (126)
(MSNBC) Obvious Oil prices rise on news that oil prices had fallen too much this month  (msnbc.msn.com) (10)
(ClusterStock) Obvious Responding to popular backlash, Wall Street banks promise to stop awarding such huge bonuses, begin awarding huge "risk-weighted commissions" or "production compensation" or "assloads of cash" instead  (businessinsider.com) (32)
(Seattle Times) Amusing RealNetworks announces subscriptions to for-pay Rhapsody music service declined due to more customers' credit cards getting rejected, considers entering bail bond business  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (29)
(Yahoo) Obvious Dairy farms ramped up production when milk retailed over $4/gallon, but overdid it and now milk is much cheaper. Naturally, the taxpayers are involved  (news.yahoo.com) (25)
(CNBC) Interesting Foreclosure Business Boom: Lawn Painting  (cnbc.com) (9)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Followup Steve Ballmer desperately tries to paint a positive face on ridiculed Microsoft-Yahoo hookup, polishes head, sweats profusely, chants "developers, developers, developers, developers, developers"  (businessinsider.com) (22)
(Free Press) Followup House of Representatives wants to dump another $2,000,000,000 on the scrap heap in the never ending quest to waste as much money as fast as they possibly can  (freep.com) (208)
(The Register) Asinine Company granted U.S. patent for podcasting. Next thing you know someone will try to copyright "Not Safe For Work"  (theregister.co.uk) (40)
(Yahoo) Interesting Recession eases up as report finds GDP dip smaller than expected, but still not as tasty as guacamole  (news.yahoo.com) (11)
(Slashdot) Stupid This headline is long enough to be copyright infringement in Europe  (news.slashdot.org) (28)
(Yahoo) Obvious As economy suffers, people magically becoming disabled at higher rate  (news.yahoo.com) (120)
(Marketwatch) Asinine Bank of America plans to take that $35 billion in tax money and expand in China whilst cutting branches in America. Don't worry, it'll trickle down  (marketwatch.com) (29)
(UPI) Stupid Earl of Sandwich sues sandwich shop owner for using the name Earl of Sandwich. Sandwich  (upi.com) (37)
(The Sun) Spiffy German genius invents bikini that dissolves in water then lets idiots market it  (thesun.co.uk) (647)

Thu July 30, 2009
(ClusterStock) Interesting Prosperity is right around the corner. This is not a repeat from 1930  (businessinsider.com) (53)
(SacBee) Obvious Homebuyers use the internet when purchasing homes. In other news, tix are on sale for the Ric Romero Festival, featuring a 15-Romero waterskiing pyramid, and five large Romeros who will form a Voltron  (sacbee.com) (67)
(CBS News) Obvious Thanks to bank exec bonuses, we'll all be living under a TARP pretty soon as bailout receiving banks gave about half of the money in bonuses  (cbsnews.com) (73)
(Providence Journal) Interesting Rhode Island will shut down over 1,200 businesses unless they pay overdue sales taxes immediately. In other news, Rhode Island has more than 1,200 businesses  (projo.com) (26)
(Gawker) Strange Introducing Snuggies for pets. Your dog wants his dignity back  (snuggiefordog.com) (30)
(MSNBC) Obvious Jobless claims rise 25,000, but resume 'downward trend". Apparently 'down' means 'up'  (msnbc.msn.com) (47)
(US News) Scary Subaru recalls the Baja half-truck. In the defect notice filed with the NHTSA the automaker explained: "Oncoming drivers can be blinded by it's hideousness, causing a crash."  (usnews.rankingsandreviews.com) (55)
(TMZ) Scary Steve Jobs spotted today leaving Apple HQ, still looks about as thin as an iPhone turned sideways (PIC)  (tmz.com) (91)
(Marketwatch) Obvious Recession hits Exxon, reducing quarterly profits to just shy of $4 billion. Lee Raymond puts off purchase of 17th chin  (marketwatch.com) (160)
(USA Today) Interesting Continental installs satellite television on its planes. Coming soon: TV Fee, Channel Changing Fees, Non-Use-Of-Screen Fees, Volume Knob Fees  (usatoday.com) (49)
(Wall Street Journal) Obvious Can the Federal Reserve identify bubbles before they occur? Nope  (online.wsj.com) (38)
(Bloomberg) Obvious Profits at Royal Dutch Shell drop 67%, prompting cuts in capital spending, job elimination, and instructing board members to use $20s to light cigars instead of $100s  (bloomberg.com) (3)
(Marketwatch) Followup Hidden within Microsoft's quarterly earnings report comes the surprising news that nobody likes Zunes  (marketwatch.com) (57)
(AOL) Asinine Further compunding Time Warner's 34% drop in profit, AOL, a Time Warner company, launches an all-Nickelback radio station - Nickelback being signed to Roadrunner Records, a TW subsidary. Submitter wonders who exactly is to blame  (aolradioblog.com) (54)
(CNN) Followup Former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling will get 10 years skimmed off his sentence for being such a good little biatch  (edition.cnn.com) (28)
(BusinessWeek) Scary Foreclosures spread faster than the ebola virus. We haven't seen a rout like this since Custer went on a little scouting trip  (businessweek.com) (22)
(Daily Kos) Interesting Recent data proves liberals are losing their jobs faster than anyone expected  (dailykos.com) (77)

Wed July 29, 2009
(The Consumerist) Dumbass Panasonic cameras won't work with third party batteries due to a microchip lockout-oh, and Panasonic doesn't offer replacement batteries for sale. So once the $10 battery dies, the entire $1,200 camera is a paperweight  (consumerist.com) (73)
(Marketwatch) Interesting Fact #1: Congress will soon adjourn for summer recess. Fact #2: 90% of the capital gains over the life of the Dow Jones Industrial Average have accrued when Congress is out of session. BUY MORTIMER, BUY  (marketwatch.com) (65)
(Houston Chronicle) Asinine Recession hits the oil companies, as ConocoPhillips makes a mere $38 billion second quarter profit  (chron.com) (52)
(Yahoo) Asinine Cash 4 Clunkers turns out to be a salvage titled Pinto that was rear-ended at over 313MPH  (autos.yahoo.com) (215)
(Bloomberg) Obvious Time Warner profit drops 34% on news that AOL sucks. In related news, some people apparently still use AOL  (bloomberg.com) (25)

Tue July 28, 2009
(The Consumerist) Cool Why is Coke better than Pepsi? Coca-cola hasn't had to change their logo 11 times to keep up  (consumerist.com) (205)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting Yesterday: United to increase fees for using milage awards. Today: United's frequent-flier perks to come with fewer strings. Fly the friendly, albeit confusing, skies  (chicagotribune.com) (35)
(Yahoo) Obvious To the surprise of exactly no one, most bailed out companies are still in bad shape. Reality has a fiscally conservative bias  (news.yahoo.com) (113)
(Washington Post) Obvious Policymakers: "Banks don't want to foreclose. Nobody wins in foreclosure. We need to help people stay in their homes." Banks: "Um, yeah. About that..."  (washingtonpost.com) (73)
(KHOU Houston) Followup Billionaire stock swindler R. Allen Stanford asking for jail transfer because his cell is "hot and has no window"  (khou.com) (50)
(Boston Globe) Unlikely Newpaper stocks up on news that things can't get any worse for the industry  (boston.com) (10)
(Some Guy) Asinine Apple bans all Google Voice apps from store, insists iPhone users should pay AT&T high fees for texting  (techcrunch.com) (123)

Mon July 27, 2009
(Yahoo) Obvious The top 15 highest-earning college degrees all have one thing in common -- they aren't Liberal Arts  (finance.yahoo.com) (240)
(Reuters) Obvious Goldman Sachs was essentially bailed out by the government so they would suffer no losses. Lehman Brothers, however: "The consensus is that we were deliberately f*cked."  (blogs.reuters.com) (71)
(PolitiFact.Com) Interesting You know those "record profits" Obama says insurance companies are making? Yeah, about that  (politifact.com) (374)
(CNN) Asinine News home sales drop by 21% compared to last June. Guess what the headline says  (money.cnn.com) (247)
(The Earth Times) Scary Today's sign that the Apocalypse is all but upon us: "Germans' love affair with beer is over"  (earthtimes.org) (40)
(Some Guy) Fail First nuclear aircraft carriers, next the "super ferry," now this. The latest chapter on why Hawaii can't have anything nice  (autoblog.com) (42)
(TechCrunch) Amusing AT&T just blocked customer access to 4chan. Who's bringing popcorn?  (techcrunch.com) (308)

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