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Sun April 26, 2009
(Telegraph) Obvious Drug companies prepare to respond to biggest goddamn windfall their executives and shareholders have ever dreamed of ... I mean, "to respond responsibly to swine flu outbreak" (56)
(Philly) Cool That Pennsylvania beer company with a funny name is close to being the largest American-owned brewer (91)
(CNN) Asinine Finally a list you can show to your grandkids as to why they'll never be able to retire (78)
(Bloomberg) Scary When the IMF starts considering a bond sale to raise funds, you might want to consider fortifying yourself in a safe location (28)

Sat April 25, 2009
(Reuters) Sick Capitalism at its finest: venture capital company all excited over potential for massive profits from swine flu pandemic (85)
(MainStreet) Scary Top jobs that you don't need a college degree for: Funny: Elevator Mechanic, Scary: Air Traffic Controller, Fark: Nuclear Power Operator (96)
(Las Vegas Sun) Obvious Carl Icahn finally gets the Atlantic City casino he's been dreaming of. EVERYONE TROPIPANIC (11)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida As further proof no good deed goes unpunished, residents conserving so much water during current drought, city revenue for water utilities critically low (20)
(National Post) Obvious "I believe newspapers will be around in their printed form for many, many years to come. They're trusted. That's the key." Suck it, haters (51)

Fri April 24, 2009
(CNN) Obvious Four. Four banks fail today. AHH AHH AHH (38)
(The Earth Times) Interesting If there's a certain smugness around the unemployment office next week, it's because Apple fired 1,600 workers from its retail stores today (195)
(Bloomberg) Obvious Grandparents everywhere outraged at the news GM is killing off the Pontiac brand (148)
(Reuters) Spiffy Woman gets fired after employer noticed she was updating her Facebook page after calling in sick to work (244)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Chinese firms often copycat brand names by switching a couple of letters around. Here's a couple of companies that are doing it all wrong (140)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting President Obama breaks another campaign promise--to renegotiate NAFTA--and good for him (178)
(Some Guy) Obvious Car salesman dies at NASCAR race, but as his obit notes, "We are sure he would still want all to know that 0.9% financing is still available on all New 2008 Hummer H2's" (118)
(USA Today) Fail Ford lost $1.4 billion last quarter. But it's not losing money as fast as did the quarter before, so it's all good (61)

Thu April 23, 2009
(I'm a mac) Interesting Microsoft revenue falls for first time in history. Has nothing NOTHING to do with Vista (119)
(Computerworld) Unlikely Myspace to reinvent itself, change name to facebook (45)
(MSNBC) Obvious Chrysler might not be able to Dodge Chapter 11  T-Shirt (269)
(Some Guy) Obvious "It's time to admit that Take Your Child to Work Day is an outdated relic of 1970s feminism, and we can put the whole thing to rest. Besides, do you know how annoying kids are for people who do not have kids?" (97)
(USA Today) Hero Obama prepares to bring the pain to credit card companies (349)
(Jalopnik) Stupid Like ultra luxury cars, but not the annoying friends that come with them? The Geely GE is just for you (39)
(Wall Street Journal) PSA Attention Blockbuster Employees: You will be replaced by a vending machine within the next year (58)
(Huffington Post) Asinine If you are the CEO of a newspaper company that is hemmoraging money and jobs, and your stock has lost 75% in the past 12 months, what do you get? A $1 million raise if you're New York Times CEO Janet Robinson (43)
(SeattlePI) Spiffy To honor Earth Day, Jones Soda company powered its headquarters entirely by cycle power. Suck it, Gilligan (106)
(The New York Times) Strange Nobel Prize Winning Economist: "Citigroup is profitable because investors think it's failing, while Morgan Stanley is losing money because investors think it will survive. I am not making this up." (23)

Wed April 22, 2009
(10tv) Cool Honda offers it employees who are willing to quit a full years salary and $17,000 and $1,000 for every year they worked (74)
(CNBC) PSA So, like the head of MySpace may be replaced by the former chief operating officer of Facebook. No word on how many times this has been Twittered  T-Shirt (9)
(Some Guy) PSA Apple reports record $1.21 billion Q2 profit on $8.16 billion in revenues. Higher profit margins attributed to this quarter's reduction in black turtleneck sweater and jean purchases during Steve's medical leave (32)
(Yahoo) Scary As if autoworkers don't have enough perks GM is about to adopt a school calendar and give everyone the summer off (34)
(CNBC) Fail GM misses their first debt payment. Bankruptcy is imminent (177)
(Some Guy) Asinine Newspaper lays off reporter who got shot on the job: "I took a bullet for the business. But I guess in these economic times that isn't enough to save you" (25)
(UPI) Sad Russian arms dealers beginning to feel the effects of the economy (16)
(Some Guy) Obvious First major study of newspapers that have ditched their paper versions and gone web-only reveals two interesting things: their revenues plunge 75 percent and people stop reading them (18)
(MSNBC) Obvious Function over form is helping boring Subaru to actually grow sales in these tough times. Wow, building cars people want to drive and not just look at .... what a concept (157)
(WCBS 880) Sad The acting head of Freddie Mac, David Kellerman, has committed suicide (671)
(MSNBC) Cool Small U.S. company unveils truck that gets 100 MPG and says the goal is to make 50,000 vehicles a year by 2013. America, FARK YEAH (115)
(Biz Journal.com) Hero Hobby Lobby raises their minimum wage to $10 an hour. Quote: "they have had a profitable year and want to pass that on to their employees." Gold parachute CEO's say that's no way to run a company (71)
(CNN) Obvious Yahoc (52)
(London Times) Stupid Credit Swiss will reimburse 1,700 wealthy clients for their losses in Lehman Brothers. Submitter wants a check for his losses in Blue Star Airlines (30)
(Marketwatch) Unlikely Treasury Secretary Timmah Geithner stands by the TARP, proclaiming it's not a TRAP (18)

Tue April 21, 2009
(Yahoo) Obvious To the surprise of absolutely nobody, the bank bailout may be susceptible to catastrophic fraud (170)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Interesting Even hardcore Target shoppers in the store's hometown are swallowing their pride and slumming it over to Wal-Mart - but is it worth it? (91)
(UPI) Interesting Man fed up with being unemployed offers $5,000 reward to the person who gives him a successful job lead (20)
(Toronto Star) Obvious Canadian Auto Workers decide that taking a paycut to $57/hour may be preferable to $0/hour (80)
(Boston Globe) Interesting Due to the terrible economy, Harvard career services officials are faced with an unprecedented problem: teaching Harvard graduates how to deal with rejection and failure (134)
(Toronto Star) Obvious Next up: edible ads. Just watch out for the American Apparel ones. You could catch something (15)
(CFO.com) Asinine 30 Helens agree: It will take 10-15 years before we see a realistic global financial system (48)
(Marketwatch) Obvious Bank of America stock plunges 24% on news that buying Countrywide's lawsuits and Merrill Lynch's toxic assets at "rock-bottom prices" was not a wise move (47)

Mon April 20, 2009
(AP) Obvious Without the Emperor in D.C. Halliburton 1Q profit tumbles, cuts jobs (81)
(Globe and Mail) Cool Canadian McDonald's borrows a page from the socialized health care system, starts giving away free coffee, no strings attached and take as much you want, between now and May 3 (183)
(Yahoo) Obvious Stocks tumble on news that investors no longer take banks at their word when they say things are going well (50)
(AP) Dumbass "Bernanke: People need to hone financial know-how". You mean, like Wall St. people? (122)
(Vator.tv) Obvious Play your startup like a poker hand; fold often; but when you have a great hand, go all in (21)
(Reuters) Stupid Obama to take on credit card abuse. Relax, person with four maxed out cards and a new 52" plasma TV, he's not talking about you. You're just an addicted victim (191)
(NYPost) Asinine How absurd is the price of health care in New York City? It now costs more to buy health insurance than it does to rent a two-bedroom apartment in the Financial District (40)
(The Register) Interesting INSERT into RECENT_BUYOUTS (buyer, bought, price) VALUES (Oracle, Sun, $7.4bn) (105)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Dumbass Major electronics retailer "demoting" 8000 senior sales associates to lower positions that pay 25 to 50 percent less. No, this is not a repeat of Circuit City... yet (163)
(USA Today) Obvious Evil oil conglomerate beats evil retail store conglomerate to the top of the Fortune 500 (22)
(fox11online.com) Interesting Fishing is on the rise, despite a crappie economy  T-Shirt (39)
(UPI) Obvious In move that hurts thousands of pet bird owners, world's largest newsprint maker declares bankruptcy due to newspaper industry's collapse  T-Shirt (13)

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