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(Headline T-Shirts are still available for archive links.)
Sun April 19, 2009
(MSNBC) Obvious Saturn interested in buying Saturn from GM, uh come again? (101)
(Google) Obvious Glaxo and Pfizer are teaming up to make HIV drugs much more expensive (58)
(Philly) Florida Florida real estate sales are way up on news that Florida won't be under water until 2050 (10)
(Media Matters) Asinine The stock market upswing the last 6 weeks? It's a Tea Party Rally, according to Fox News. Really (112)

Sat April 18, 2009
(Reuters) Scary California's unemployment rate rises to 11.2%. Let's see what happens when they raise taxes, this should be fun (116)
(Pravda) Interesting Russian nuclear attack to target United States banks to do maximum economic damage. Apparently they don't know US banks already a pile of smoking, radioactive rubble (98)
(Independent) Interesting Volkswagen set to overtake Toyota as world's biggest maker of Dorkmobiles™ (71)
(Barron's) Obvious Barron's warns that the current 2,000 point stock market rally might need a break and a beer. Allocate your assets accordingly (video) (22)
(Marketwatch) Obvious This week's Friday bank closure is brought to by American Sterling Bank in Sugar Creek, Missouri (13)

Fri April 17, 2009
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting Video game sales drop 17% in the last month on the news that no amount of running over pedestrians and stabbing hookers can make you escape your 401k (151)
(ClusterStock) Video Cramer Freaks Out On CNBC, Attacks Guest (87)
(Wall Street Journal) Asinine "Mr. Duran said he and his wife earn about $400,000 annually, but 'I'm barely getting by.'" Ah, the plight of the semi-millionaires. It's not news, it's the Wall Street Journal (151)
(AP) Spiffy Delta no longer routing reservation calls to India. Keeping surly, unhelpful service here is the American way (25)
(Vator.tv) Misc Some chick that doesn't have any friends says Facebook's meaning of friends needs to change (29)
(ABC News) Interesting "Oh hai I just hacked your company website. Now hire me" (50)
(New York Daily News) Fail Pepsi pulls the old bait and switch on Yankees fans in Times Square hoping to win tickets to Opening Day. What could possibly go wrong? (34)
(AP) Obvious Gee, who knew that randomly raising credit card rates on good customers could result in an improved financial condition? That's a Citi way to do things (69)
(Slate) Interesting Handy job loss map. Looks like it's time to move back to New Orleans (70)
(Forbes) Sad MGM Mirage seeks a safe-haven in chapter 11 bankruptcy. Damn you, Danny Ocean (29)
(C|Net) Sad Tax-free Internet shopping may be at an end (159)
(Reuters) Cool Sony agrees to post videos on YouTube, leave Britney alone (9)

Thu April 16, 2009
(Baltimore Sun) Cool Maybe the People's Republic of Vermont is not a bad place after all: It has one brewery for every 33,000 residents. Mississippi, on the other hand, has only one brewery in the entire state of 2.9 million (43)
(Globe and Mail) Hero Proof that Canadians are more smarter than Americans: Canada willing to let GM and Chrysler collapse (63)
(Chicago Tribune) Cool John Deere received a $7.1 million tax credit to expand their production facility and create more jobs. Due to the economy, this didn't happen, so naturally they're going to keep...wait, they're giving it back? (17)
(Telegraph) Obvious Schoolgirl: "Please save my horsy." Mobile Company: "Who cares?" Schoolgirl: "He's got a marking identical to your company logo." Mobile Company: "how much money do you need?" (90)
(Bloomberg) Asinine Forget debt ratios and balance sheet analysis, thoughtful discussion on our economy should include a comparison to Tara Reid's breasts (33)
(Barricade) Florida One guy's solution to eliminate America's financial problems and a Fark tag (294)
(Spiegel) Unlikely Oil exec says we have 20 years until Mad Max starts driving the last of the V8 Interceptors (93)
(MSN) Obvious Even the Bureau of Labor Statistics admits the real unemployment rate has soared to 15.6%. "The situation out there is very grim" (63)
(CNBC) Interesting What does $1 trillion dollars look like? Did you know, if you spent a million dollars every day since Jesus was born, you still wouldn't have spent a trillion dollars? (103)
(Reuters) Obvious GM plans to send Pontiac and GMC to the great scrap heap in the sky (136)
(Bloomberg) Obvious Remember how some people were saying the housing market had hit a bottom and now was time to buy? Yeah... about that (54)
(Baltimore Sun) Cool Real estate company will pay your mortgage for 6 months if you lose your job (11)

Wed April 15, 2009
(Reuters) Interesting (____|____) = $2x (360)
(Reuters) Followup Burger King reinforces the view that the bottom line trumps everything, offering to pull offensive ad "as soon as commercially possible" (38)
(London Times) Obvious U.S. inflation falls for first time in 54 years. That's actually bad (106)
(Some Guy) Obvious Hollywood monastery struggles financially, not sure what to do. They seem to be out of ideas  T-Shirt (21)
(Globe and Mail) Obvious Fiat almost ready to biatchslap Chrysler and tell them to find another girlfriend (71)

Tue April 14, 2009
(UPI) Obvious "The reason some file U.S. income taxes promptly and some procrastinate may be a combination of cash and psychological issues." Or the difference between citizens and deadbeats (76)
(Chicago Tribune) Sad "StreetWise" magazine sold by the homeless may go out of business, leaving vendors homeless, magazineless (32)
(9 News) Scary Former head of a bank that failed in the 80s, and who spent 3 years in prison for it, commits suicide. In the coming months, you will find out why (66)
(Kansas City) Misc Roses are red, violets are blue. Seven hundred and forty-nine of your co-workers are laid off and so are you. Love, Hallmark  T-Shirt (15)
(Bloomberg) Scary Unstable, financially troubled regime currently in possession of enough uranium to make a nuclear bomb. North Korea? Iran? Nope. Try Lehman Brothers (87)
(MSNBC) Cool Electric utility makes deal to set houses on fire from orbit (79)
(CNN) Interesting Looks like that dead cat may have stopped bouncing (62)
(LA Times) Obvious Carl's Jr deals with image problem in its advertising by practically undressing Padma Lakshmi as she makes love to a hamburger: "Any minute now, Ronald McDonald is going to mount a stripper pole" (170)
(Some Guy) Asinine Chicago Tribune cutting 20 percent of newsroom to reduce costs. Of course, the company did just find the money to hire a new spokeswoman, who's getting paid to say nothing about the latest layoffs (5)
(Reuters) Cool Goldman Sachs says it has a "duty" to repay TARP money. Other banks laugh all the way to the private jet dealership (20)
(Reuters) Silly PepsiCo sues Coca-Cola over KO's false advertising claim that Gatorade lacks the electrolytes that plants crave  T-Shirt (36)
(CNN) Asinine "If [TARP Participant] Goldman Sachs continues to pay employees as much as it did in the first quarter, the average employee will receive more than $675,000 for 2009" (54)
(BusinessWeek) Sad Qantas crashes (18)
(Madison.com) Scary Nurse fired in the middle of surgery (96)

Mon April 13, 2009
(Bloomberg) Scary Remember when Wells Fargo announced those huge first-quarter gains? Turns out they need $50 billion in capital to pay back the government and cover loan losses (42)
(FDIC.gov) Obvious FDIC solicits public comment on its plan to bail out banks who made bad loans. Surprisingly, quite a few people have a problem with this (15)
(Komo) Interesting Website mixes gardening with online dating. Submitter wouldn't mind tending her tomatoes (16)
(E&P) Obvious Marriott hotels will no longer automatically give out free USA Today newspapers in the morning. Spokesman says that the move will save money, trees, brain cells  T-Shirt (37)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Career women told why working at a job outside the house is going to leave them with a womb as dusty, lifeless and barren as the Kalahari Desert - because careers turn them into men, at least hormonally (34)
(London Times) Obvious Oil falls below $50 a barrel on news that Tiger Woods 3.0™ could choke on pudding (53)
(ABC News) Obvious The government has a problem with banks who take bailout money then raise credit card rates on their customers for no reason (92)
(Salon) Interesting Newspapers may seek funding from nonprofit organizations; may result in "Focus on the Family Presents the New York Post" and "Planned Parenthood's New York Times" (19)
(Fox News) Interesting GM prepares for 'surgical' bankruptcy, hopes to remove the suck from their cars (102)
(Bloomberg) Strange Well, at least Lehman Brothers will be remembered for something. Japan is now calling their economic downturn the "Lehman Shokku". Two in the pink, one in the stink (18)
(Greenville Online) Interesting South Carolina finally realizes the South won't rise again, begins selling stockpiles of Confederate-era currency on eBay (34)

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