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Sun April 05, 2009
(Yahoo) Followup IBM withdraws acquisition offer. The Sun is not there (27)
(Financial Times) Obvious Coca-Cola makes you fat, rots your teeth, and is loaded with caffeine says Australia's Ric Romero (53)
(Mirror.co.uk) Obvious Media astonished to discover that in the midst of a global recession, consumers are shopping at dollar stores for everything from food to their insulin (28)
(edmunds) Fail After being denied bailout funds, General Motors decides to go out in a blaze of glory by unveiling another SUV. Bonus: It looks like shiat. (pic) (134)

Sat April 04, 2009
(Some Guy) Obvious Canadian banks strutting around like they owned the world, just because they were smart enough not to make home loans to losers like you (58)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Grab your guns and head for the hills, Jim Cramer says the depression is over (66)
(Sensen No Sen) Obvious Nine companies own 341 of the nation's newspapers. Maybe THAT'S the problem (88)
(Yahoo) Obvious The ten cars that sank Detroit (158)
(Yahoo) Cool IBM in final stages of deal talks, the Sun is there (22)
(Boston Globe) Obvious How I learned to stop worrying and love the Boston Herald (17)
(CBS News) Obvious Fannie and Freddie will pay out $210 million in bonuses for their employees' great work, and the value they brought to the company. Or, we can just call it welfare (56)
(Guardian.com) Scary Where do we go from here? Jobless rate hits 26-year high. Have you hugged globalization today? (78)

Fri April 03, 2009
(Some Guy) Sad FedEx delivers 1,000 pink slips to US employees. First US layoffs in company history (44)
(CrunchGear) Interesting Ritz camera to shutter 300 stores. Stay tuned for more on this developing story (42)
(Fox Business) Interesting Twittle? (55)
(OhGizmo) Spiffy As it turns out, the Tauntaun kids' sleeping bag is no longer an April Fool's joke (71)
(Boing Boing) Strange Detroit man makes living trapping raccoons, selling the meat and pelts, plans to claim the land for France and build a fort after converting the natives to Catholicism (147)
(Some Guy) Interesting IBM to take over rival for $7 billion. Sun is theirs (35)
(AP) Followup Blockbuster amends its loan agreement, hopes to avoid late fees (21)
(Boston Globe) Strange City of Boston to Tall Ships organizer: "Go fo'c'sle yourself." (32)
(Boston Globe) Obvious Boston Teachers Union tells smart, enthusiastic young people that their kind aren't welcome in government work (30)
(Reuters) Asinine Cause investors to lose $500,000,000 nine years ago? Spend 18 months in jail and pay a $250,000 fine. For great justice (9)
(Reuters) Asinine In the infinite wisdom of old white guys that got rich raping the world, Rupert Murdoch says newspapers need to start charging for web content because what the world wants is to pay $40 a month for the right to pay for other things (78)
(Our Government is Stupid) Obvious Step 1: Treasury sets up program to lend money to investors to buy distressed assets. Step 2: Banks bid against each other to artificially drive up prices of those assets with the taxpayer footing the bill. Step 3: PROFIT (76)

Thu April 02, 2009
(Boston Globe) Spiffy Boston-area independent bookstores are winning against Barnes & Noble and Borders by daring not to suck (51)
(ABC News) Spiffy G-20 will inject $5 trillion into global economy. G-4 will sink your battleship (286)
(Rolling Stone) Hero Meet the 12 people most responsible for flushing the US economy down the toilet (142)
(Vator.tv) Obvious Death of NY Times writers. Oh wait there aren't any (10)
(Reuters) Spiffy Study shows that Facebook, YouTube, and the New Fark Experience improve productivity at work (61)
(Reuters) Interesting Italian wineries deal with global financial crisis by producing wines that drinkers can savor, rather than idly wondering how the winemaker got the cat to sit on the bottle (15)
(Pizza Pizza) Hero Liquor board allows Pizza Hut to test delivering beer with pizza (42)
(ABC News) Cool Dow Jones soars past 8,000 on news that Michelle Obama touched the Queen (217)
(MSN) Dumbass "If we can learn anything from the train wreck that is General Motors and the auto industry, it is that unions are the scourge of the capitalist system" (206)
(CBS News) Interesting Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner says he's ready to fire more CEOs as needed, whether they run car companies, banks, or snarky news aggregator blogs (198)
(Breitbart.com) Spiffy Some guy on the Internet found out using the code word "bailout" during online ordering resulted in a free Domino's pizza. 11,000 free pizzas later, Domino's wakes up and pulls the plug (201)
(CNBC) Unlikely Bank of America's Ken Lewis "We didn't need TARP money. We were forced to take it" (46)
(Reuters) Asinine GM asks for $2.6B "to build hybrids." In other news, "to build hybrids" replaces "won't they think of the children?" (279)

Wed April 01, 2009
(NPR) Asinine Realtors now hire actors to pretend they're neighbors until the house is sold (55)
(Kansas.com) Amusing Newest leading indicator of new residents in 2008 is....U-Haul one-way rentals to Wichita (23)
(Globe and Mail) Sad Recession turning men into women faster than you can read an issue of Cosmo (54)
(MSNBC) Asinine New CEO of GM refuses to cut his salary from $1.3 million dollars (126)
(St. Petersburg Times) Unlikely Alternative newspaper chain Creative Loafing barely skates by creditors to goof off and check out the local music scene yet another day (4)
(The Local (Sweden)) Obvious Borg forecasts mass unemployment, assimilation (29)
(Bloomberg) Obvious UAW need to fund Chrysler, but Obama can't force them to do anything by Fiat  T-Shirt (24)
(Bloomberg) Interesting GM and Chrysler to file for a "special" type of bankruptcy. "Special" meaning the U.S. government will be the debtor in possession financier and call all the shots. Batten down the hatches, these are unchartered waters (113)
(Fox Business) Obvious If you were thinking of your home as an "asset" you might want to rethink that. Home prices slated to fall even lower (93)
(Inside Music Media) Fail Clear Channel has heard your concerns and is making its tedious morning shows half an hour shorter...filling that half hour with infomercials (46)
(London Times) Obvious The Times named Newspaper of the Year at British Press Awards. The Sun isn't there (8)

Tue March 31, 2009
(Yahoo) Interesting Honda cuts wages in US (but only for executives). Possible next step: replace them all with Asimos in business attire (37)
(Vator.tv) Obvious Google funds venture to find, well, the next Google. What's crazy is they'll probably find it (14)
(Yahoo) Interesting Facebook CFO Gideon Yu is: leaving the company  T-Shirt (36)
(Some Guy) Stupid Developer brings quaint Croatian seaside village to North Texas, accurate in every detail, right down to the $1 million mansions, and 71 Starbucks within walking distance (35)
(Marketwatch) Obvious Dear H-1b visa holders, Due to the fact that we are accepting TARP funds, we can no longer pretend that you are not displacing U.S. workers. We are going to have to let you go. Love Wells Fargo (109)
(McClatchy) Scary Welcome to Mendota, California. Town where 41% of the population is unemployed, now starting to rob the other 59% (70)
(Reuters) Interesting China's Snow Beer overtakes Bud Light as most popular in world. A drinky-boom-boom down (182)
(AJC) Misc Despite economy tattoo industry doing well. "Cutting back was about securing the way I live, but the other part was to make sure I could get my tattoo." (23)
(CBC) Misc Brewer quits as Air Canada CEO. Phew, less drunk pilots (9)
(Yahoo) Followup Having to live in Michigan is one thing, being picked on by the President is taking it too far, say auto workers (68)
(AP) Amusing In a move nobody in the company's history ever planned to make, Ford now emulating Hyundai (90)
(Fox Business) Interesting President and CEO of Ticketmaster resigns, will have 10% convenience charge deducted from his severence package (19)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Obvious Sun Times Medai Group files for bankruptcy (54)
(Daily Express) Obvious British "gobsmacked" as government fuel tax makes it "£1 dearer" to fill up one's "motor" with "petrol", whatever the hell THAT mess means (48)
(Fox News) Sad Closing of Michigan car dealership leads to three fights among laid-off workers. "Had they been sober, this probably wouldn't have happened" (45)

Mon March 30, 2009
(The New York Times) Hero America: More layoffs during recession. Europe: More time off for vacations (79)
(MSNBC) Obvious Netflix to its customers: We're upping your fees on Blu-Ray titles. Customers to Netflix: Up yours (108)
(ClusterStock) Scary The next time your POS Chevy breaks down, don't worry, the government will be there to fix it (41)
(The New York Times) Interesting Old & busted: Residents walking away from properties in foreclosure. New hotness: Banks walking away from properties in foreclosure (48)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting The latest restaurants to fold under economic pressure are Bakers Square and Village Inn. Better preorder those holiday pies now (11)
(ABC News) Followup Rick Wagoner drives away with $20 million benefit package after crashing GM into a ditch (73)
(NY Magazine) Interesting Worse than Stalin beating a puppy: Meet the guy whose software turns mortgages into bonds (22)
(The Register) Obvious If you thought companies loading up on short term debt for no particular reason whatsoever was completely insane, give yourself a cookie (13)
(Daily Star) Unlikely This is the grizzled anti-capitalist protestor who will speak for the world at the G20 summit this week (Not safe for work) (91)
(Forbes) Interesting Fifth Third sells one half. Now named One and One Sixth (44)
(Philadelphia Magazine) Interesting Print media is dying, but its executives are rolling in dough: Company that owns the Philadelphia Inquirer gave its CEO and two top execs $650,000 in bonuses just before declaring bankruptcy (17)
(Telegraph) Dumbass Scribd gets servd for pirating Harry Potter novels (18)
(Bloomberg) Obvious Asian stocks plummet on news GM and Chrysler will be allowed to fail unless they stop writing their restructuring plans in crayon and finger paint (122)
(bizjournals.com) Obvious Many industries are suffering in the recession, but men beating each other with folding chairs continues to generate strong revenue (4)
(Breitbart.com) Interesting Spain records its first month of deflation since 1961. But not to worry, because unemployment is 15 percent and heading to 20 percent, and nobody has any money to spend anyway (5)

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