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Sun March 29, 2009
(Hot Air) Interesting Every new green job costs 2.2 jobs elsewhere. Unicorns seen running towards a different rainbow (80)
(Politico) Fail Obama demands CEO of GM to resign. Geithner agrees to pay $162 million dollar severance package (749)
(Sign On San Diego) Stupid How do you stimulate a sluggish economy? By raising sales tax 1% of course. Way to go California (98)
(Yahoo) Obvious Asset manager objects to "fire sale" of Polaroid. Instead, it would rather shake things up, wait a little while and see what develops (22)
(London Times) Interesting Financial crunch forcing people to eat cheap garbage that they never thought they would when they had money, like shellfish, scrapple and Vegemite (41)
(CNN) Fail Eight crappy American cars that have their price marked down because they suck (108)
(Reuters) Stupid News Corp to hire former AOL CEO as digital chief. Soon to hire former AIG exec as ethics chief, former McCain campain manager as head of PR  T-Shirt (11)
(MSNBC) Scary Bosnia's unemployment rate at 43% and rising. But don't worry, nothing ever bad comes from millions of men being unemployed while having access to lots and lots of weapons (31)
(Miami Herald) Sick If you plan on buying health insurance, make sure you're not taking any prescription medications (69)

Sat March 28, 2009
(Washington Post) Followup Fiat and Chrysler await approval from the U.S. government to merge, create the largest ball of suck in the known universe from which no decent car will emerge (44)
(AOL) Interesting Charter Cable files for bankruptcy. Comcastic (41)
(UPI) Cool Wal-Mart wants you to save money on prescription drugs. Farkers rack brains trying to prove that it's a conspiracy (68)
(Reuters) Amusing Where's the best place to test a pizza vending machine? In Italy, the birthplace of pizza, of course. "This machine is a toy, Perhaps it will find a niche overseas" (43)
(Entertainment Weekly) Interesting Gordon Gekko's speech to Charlie Sheen in "Wall Street" stands as a simple explanation for the current financial crisis (36)
(ABC News) Misc IBM and Google decide to accommodate crossdressers by handing out more pink slips (22)
(Engadget) Spiffy First Chevy Volt will roll off assembly lines June 1st, suffer dead batteries June 2nd, burst into flames June 3rd, be recalled June 4th (70)
(Marketwatch) Obvious This week's Friday bank closure is brought to you by Atlanta's Omni National Bank. Another $290 million down the hole (13)
(Bloomberg) Sad Jack Dreyfus, founder of the Dreyfus Funds, dies at 95. Goodnight, Lion of Wall Street (17)
(Some Guy) Sad Some chain restaurant you were too snobby to eat at is filing Chapter 11 (49)

Fri March 27, 2009
(CBS New York) Obvious According to a tweet from CNet, twitter still doesn't have a business model (12)
(Reason Magazine) Obvious Pepsi and Pizza Hut go au naturel, but still make you fat (36)
(Google) Interesting More Americans treating cars like long-term investments, pushing down sales numbers. So if you're still driving a car from the 1990s, you hate America (98)
(Some Guy) Scary Damn you white people, why must you ruin everything (304)
(Google) Interesting Oil prices tumble on the news of Octomom's stripper past (32)
(Daily Mail) Interesting America's most expensive house goes on market at $150million - and it's so big no one knows the exact number of rooms it has (64)
(Some Guy) Sad 600 people freed from their Mickey Mouse jobs (33)
(Yahoo) Obvious Taking their cue from Washington, consumers spend like it's Dec. 30, 2012 (42)
(AP) Sad 10 Johnson Controls factories to go flaccid  T-Shirt (7)
(Yahoo) Sad 200 Google employees laid off, not feeling lucky (31)

Thu March 26, 2009
(DFW Star-Telegram) Interesting Massage therapists manage to find a happy ending in the recession (23)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting Old and busted: Breathalyzer disables your car because you're drunk. New hotness: Dealer disables your car remotely because you're broke (50)
(CNN) Stupid Unemployed? Invent a job for yourself. Tada (49)
(Yahoo) Interesting Danes lead world in telecom readiness, allowing them to more easily adapt to crisis. To speak with Beowulf, press 1 (66)
(Some Guy) Obvious That MBA that was supposed to make you a millionaire? Yeah, not so much (217)
(BBC) Obvious France to ban bonuses for any bank receiving government aid; to be deemed Snuggie Law, since it's an idiotic blanket (46)
(Chicago Tribune) Silly Are there any winners in this awful economy? Yes...Dilbert (44)
(My Eyewitness News) Scary There's unemployment, and then there's unemployment (95)

Wed March 25, 2009
(NPR) Asinine While General Motors asks for more taxpayer loans, there's one perk GM refuses to give up: a company car and company-paid gas for about 8,000 white-collar employees (169)
(CNN) Unlikely Despite a complete lack of supporting data, apparently the housing market has finally bottomed (49)
(Seattle Times) Cool No job? No income? No problem. Here's a free condo (30)
(AJC) Fail AJC's plan for profitability: Reduce distribution [X] Reduce reporters by 30% [X] Reduce page size by 2 inches [X] Reduce ultra-liberal editorial staff [ ] (51)
(Comedy Central) Amusing Turns out Jon Stewart was actually on the ball with his financial advice (100)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Man frustrated with his job search buys radio ad time to broadcast his resume (20)
(International Herald Tribune) Obvious AIG executive working 14 hour days for no salary gets mad as hell, is not going to take it anymore, submits resignation, donates bonus to charity, and tells AIG and Congress to go take a flying fark at a rolling doughnut (290)
(The Consumerist) Interesting Prepare to live in a world without Borders (116)
(Telegraph) Unlikely Worldwide real-estate crash means more hot blondes will want to sofa-surf at your place (29)

Tue March 24, 2009
(BusinessWeek) Obvious Employers now reluctant to hire people they don't have to pay (58)
(Vator.tv) Strange NY Times leads with User Generated Content as its top story. Man these guys are hurtin' (62)
(CNN) Strange Senior Harvard economist recommends that drugs be legalized, also states that he could really go for a burrito right now and has a song on his iPod that you totally have to listen to (444)
(MSNBC) Interesting Obama administration plans to ask Congress for expanded power to seize non-bank financial firms. Welcome your new Overlords, Geithner and Bernanke (317)
(AP) Scary China holds over 1 trillion dollars of US government debt and they want a new global currency (125)
(Chicago Tribune) Unlikely Starbucks tries to shed elitist image. Because everybody orders nonfat skim double tall sugar free mocha lattes while driving their Mercedes S-class (100)
(Salon) Obvious Williams-Sonoma 4Q profits drop 90% after people realize it's cheaper to buy a head of garlic and a can of chicken broth then spend $18 on 40-clove garlic chicken braising sauce (109)
(CNN) Interesting U.S. automakers have another week to wait for bailout money, bonuses (17)
(SeattlePI) Amusing Seattle economists agree that local economy sucks, but at least we're not Cleveland. OH SNAP (32)
(Newsday) Hero 15 of the top 20 AIG employees will return their bonus checks (121)
(MSNBC) Sad Since he apparently hasn't suffered enough in his life, Holocaust survivor (and Nobel laureate) Elie Weisel among those who lost their life savings to Madoff. His thoughts? "Psychopath is too nice a word for him" (204)
(SMH) Weird Mandatory unit price checks, designed to allow shoppers to make easy brand comparisons, causing a sheet storm of controversy when applied to toilet rolls (34)
(Media Matters) Scary CNBC's Larry Kudlow is using his nightly show to campaign for the United States Senate. The horror. The horror (139)
(Las Vegas Sun) Asinine As if taxpayers aren't screwed enough...Nevada considers hooker tax (65)
(Yahoo) Cool Asian stocks rise sharply upon the news that David Letterman finally married his babymama (10)

Mon March 23, 2009
(New York Daily News) Dumbass AIG changes name. Unlisted number, new hairstyle to follow (50)
(Vator.tv) Interesting New approach to Facebook. Nuke your friends (38)
(The Consumerist) Hero Say goodbye to Jared and those hot chicks with badly Photoshopped bodies on the Hydroxy Cut commercials (365)
(MSNBC) Sad Gannett to furlough 40,000+ employees, again. Additional cost cutting measures include changing all USA Today section colors to white (15)
(The Consumerist) Interesting Behold the 2009 Worst Company in America bracket. Ticketmaster laughs at the competition (78)
(Breitbart.com) Interesting Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner to unveil plan to solve the banking crisis. Knowing him, it will involve giving your money to bank execs as bonuses, all while Yakety Sax and calliope music play in the background (96)
(Globe and Mail) Hero Canadian Banks asking homeowners in trouble to come in and renegotiate to more flexible terms, say that they'd rather take a short-term decrease in payments over a foreclosure (89)
(NYPost) Stupid JPMorgan Chase, which took $25 billion in bailout money, orders two new corporate jets for $59.5 million each. But they aren't really new, they're just replacing existing planes. So no outrage, please (119)
(Boston Globe) Amusing More and more of the recently unemployed are entering the exciting field of subway busking. "This is my job right now. Perhaps I haven't been as ambitious as I should be about getting a new job. But I am happier this way" (67)
(AP) Obvious Tiffany 4Q profit drops 75%. I think they're not alone, now  T-Shirt (28)
(MSNBC) Obvious Americans' work-life balance suffering in recession. In other news, Americans have a work-life balance (77)
(News.com.au) Interesting CEO who sacked 1850 workers then took a $1.8M bonus payment blames consumers for buying cheap imported crap. As opposed to the kind of stuff you can buy with a cool $1.8 million (34)
(Marketwatch) Interesting Abu Dhabi buys 10% of Daimler. No word if they get a complimentary Maybach, toaster (13)
(Discover) Obvious Think Big Oil is scary? Wait for "Big Water" (126)
(Reuters) Silly British fashionistas report hot new trend of "fashionalism" -- middle-class Brits buying indigenous accessories such as flat caps, tartan scarves, and beehive hairdos (10)

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