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Sun February 22, 2009
(Some TFer) Amusing As if it weren't bad enough that Circuit City's "50% Off" sale is 10% more expensive than most other retailers, now they're just arbitrarily changing the price between the register and the rack. Suck it, Circuit City (85)
(Ohio.com) Sad The last locally owned department store in the US is set to close their doors (41)
(Times Herald Record) Hero There's one or two still out there: "What am I supposed to do; not go to work because I have too far to walk? I'm a man, and I have responsibilities. So I suck it up and act like a man. And that's all I have to say." (69)
(CNBC) Interesting Government to administer stress tests to banks. That's gotta be one hell of a treadmill (10)
(C|Net) Dumbass Remember those 1,400 Microsoft employees that got booted? Well, they were given too much severance and the company wants their Microsoft money back. How non-PC  T-Shirt (39)

Sat February 21, 2009
(Bloomberg) Amusing Zimbabwe's stock exchange re-opened yesterday. Total volume of shares traded: 3,026, bought and sold for US $0.01/share (51)
(CreditNet) Asinine Flush with tax-funded bailout money, Fannie & Freddie decide to begin mandating 25% downpayment & a .75% fee up-front. That's assuming your FICO is at least 800, of course (129)
(AJC) Scary Recession hits Girl Scout Cookie sales. Sellers of less-addictive crack and heroin fear for their livelihood (44)
(Some Guy) Interesting A visual explanation of the credit crisis so awesome you'll be glad you were foreclosed on, evicted by the sheriff and shat on by a pigeon (121)
(10tv) Interesting Nationwide Insurance CEO decides to help deliver the "on your side" guarantee by laying himself off after the company posts a $342 million loss last year (9)
(Marketwatch) Obvious This week's Friday bank closure is brought to you by Silver Falls Bank, of Silverton, Oregon (9)
(ABC News) Scary "Since the economy began to crater, Americans have looked inward to their very bodily fluids for a boost, selling blood, semen, even their ovaries and hair for a few extra dollars" (95)
(The Morning Call) Obvious People finding their Beanie Babies and other crap not worth what they hoped. "Even if things are 100 years old, it doesn't necessarily mean they're rare or valuable to anyone else." (59)

Fri February 20, 2009
(NPR) Obvious With the world economy in freefall, even Middle Eastern oil-rich sheiks are discovering man-made palm-shaped islands may not be the wisest use of limited resources (71)
(BusinessWeek) Sad Whenever I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I feel the cool sensation of a tropical factory in Mexico (50)
(Seattle Times) Dumbass Dumbass couple thinks they can afford a $1.5M condo on $20K income. Dumbass company sells the condo, and dumbass bank writes the mortgage. Dumbasses (375)
(9 News) Stupid Ric Romero of the Rockies discovers the magic that is "virtual home tours" for real estate buyers (11)
(MyFox Twin Cities) Interesting Drivers confused by guy holding sign on side of road who is mysteriously sober and doesn't want spare change (14)
(Vator.tv) Misc Could you give up Facebook for lent? (73)
(Chicago Tribune) Hero Chicago area man still working, although he turns 100 next month, says retirement is for pussies. And get off his lawn (91)
(Telegraph) Asinine Ryanair launches in-flight use of mobile phones for $4.50 a minute. Future plans include $20 surcharge for seats in the no-phone section (21)
(Paste Magazine) Spiffy Kid Rock's stimulus package calls for more Kid Rock beer, will create almost 400 jobs in Michigan (39)
(MSNBC) Asinine Banks charge unemployed for inquiries into their unemployment benefits. Cue the 'guy punching a dead horse' picture (53)

Thu February 19, 2009
(CNBC) Video CNBC's Rick Santelli, on the floor of the CBOT, mocks Obama's stimulus package. Then things get farkin' hilarious (253)
(Bloomberg) Sad SEC busts Ponzi scheme that targetted deaf investors. Guess they hadn't heard about financial scams, or they didn't listen to the warnings (21)
(Marketwatch) Sad Good news: Number of new jobless claims remains unchanged. Bad news: that's because everyone who could be laid off already has been laid off (27)
(ClusterStock) Amusing Underemployed Wall Street bankers threatening to displace undocumented aliens in the lawn care sector (45)
(Reuters) Stupid Chrysler is going to be giving the Canadian government $500 million of your tax dollars, so they need about $5 billion more to keep the lights on (32)
(Network World) Asinine Quitting the Mafia is easier than closing a LendingTree.com account (39)
(Yahoo) Interesting Longtime independent Alaska Air can't rule out merger. Giant guy on side of plane says "Inuit all along" (21)
(Telegraph) Obvious Survey finds one in three job-seekers lie on their resumes. In related news, two of three job-seekers lie to survey-takers (54)
(Independent) Sad What is best in life? To crush the workers, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women (51)
(Reuters) Sad National Amusement theatres to be sold off. Sales times are 11:00, 2:15, 4:35, 6:55, 9:35, 11:45 (45)
(Reuters) Obvious "......in my day, we were paid a nickel a month to pound out Hupmobile fenders with our foreheads for 120 hours straight". Or, the tale of how the UAW is striving to maintain relevance in the 21st century (142)

Wed February 18, 2009
(Some Guy) Interesting Economic crisis means salespeople in upper-end stores now kissing up to middle-class shoppers instead of staring at them like dog crap someone dragged on the carpet for so many years (75)
(Forbes) Interesting "Everyone says the key to finding a new job is networking. But how do you do that when so many of your contacts are also unemployed?" (38)
(The Consumerist) Stupid Mayor of NYC wants to spend $45 million retraining out-of-work bankers and brokers. Classes to include "Advanced Fry Engineering," "Intro to Mall Security," and "Pullover Refolding 101" (33)
(CNN) Interesting Hey, Taiwan: Come on down. You're the next contestant on "The Economy Is Screwed" (19)
(UPI) Obvious Swedish auto maker might be days away from bankruptcy. It's quite the Saab story (44)
(Vator.tv) Obvious Obama is going after Google. Here come da judge (103)
(JSOnline) Interesting MillerCoors acknowledges that Miller Chill tastes like shiat but wants you to know they are working on it (37)
(Guardian.com) Dumbass Bank of England says "Fark it. We're printing our way out of this mess." Because, as we all know, that policy has always worked (69)
(AP) Sad "Goodyear?" "The worst..." (33)
(BBC) Interesting Germany drafts "temporary" bank takeover law. Uh-huh, suuuuuure it's temporary. Like the Sudetenland was temporary (24)
(Yahoo) Scary If you are afraid of what the future of the economy will be, please don't watch this interview (107)
(Telegraph) Cool The most beautiful car ever made, a 1957 Ferrari 250 Testa Rossa, goes up for auction. Expected price tag: £10.5 million. (you bet there's a pic) (101)
(CNN) Strange IFart sues for trademark infringement. This is not, I repeat NOT, from The Onion (34)
(Crossing Wall Street) Interesting The price of a share of New York Times stock in now cheaper than the cost of the New York Times Sunday edition. On the other hand, a stock certificate will only let you wrap, like, 2 fish max (12)
(The Raw Story) Interesting Alan Greenspan says it's time to put down the Ayn Rand novels and take a serious look at regulating the markets (384)

Tue February 17, 2009
(Google) Interesting Homeowners have found a way to bring the foreclosure process to a screeching halt: Ask to see the original mortgage (385)
(CNN) Fail Chrysler stumbles upon a recession-proof business model (113)
(UPI) Silly Old and busted: "Tickle-Me Elmo". New hotness: "Smash-Me Bernie", a steal at just $99.95 (40)
(UPI) Florida Man seeks job at roadside, says he was inspired by all the ladies he always sees standing around (4)
(BBC) Dumbass Antiguan businessman, cricket impresario Sir Allen Stanford charged with "massive ongoing fraud" worth over $8 billion. Bernie Madoff sniffs, calls him an amateur (66)
(Boston Globe) Misc People are still willing to buy cars if they can get 30-40% off sticker price and delude themselves that warranty service will continue after the maker goes bankrupt (59)
(USA Today) Obvious Now that credit card companies have adopted a "we'll charge whatever we want and make up fees as you go" pricing model, some government officials want to take a closer look at them (167)
(Yahoo) Interesting The recession is leading more people to decide to just stick with dial-up Internet access for now. You had a better headline but couldn't get online because your mom is expecting a call (46)
(Google) Scary Wall Street pondering questions such as "What if GM goes under?", "What would be the impact to the psyche of the average consumer?" and "When it comes to stewed prunes, are three enough and are four too many?" (45)
(Iceland Review) Obvious Icelanders just figured out that unemployment benefits now pay out more money than minimum wage. What could possibly go wrong? (26)
(C|Net) Interesting Liberty bails out Sirius XM with a $530 million stake. Stern to interview CEO John Malone next week to ask all the important questions: does he shave, what kind of panties does he wear, when did he lose his virginity? (44)
(Bloomberg) Followup Hairpiece files for bankruptcy. There's gonna be hell toupée (32)
(Some Guy) Obvious Beer brewing proves to be recession-proof industry (28)

Mon February 16, 2009
(Canada.com) Scary Canadian expert says total household debt is in the "danger zone," taking you RIGHT INTO THE DANGER ZONE (44)
(CNN) Asinine Careereoki: it's not news, it's CNN (38)
(Kansas.com) Obvious If you picked Kansas as the next state to go bankrupt, come up to claim your prize (96)
(Reuters) Cool Sirius creditors threaten to oust CEO, CEO asks them to stop calling him "Shirley" (64)
(CNN) Interesting Why the stock market is doing better than you think (65)
(CNN) Unlikely Detroit automakers have till Thursday to provide details of their turnaround plans to the government, or their bailout loans could be recalled. Automakers: "Shiat, they're SERIOUS about that?" (66)
(Houston Chronicle) Dumbass The latest excuse for gas prices skyrocketing as the cost of oil plummets: "We're making the gas with a different oil" (84)
(CNN) Sad Japan's economy "worst since the end of WWII". WE WIN AGAIN (39)
(SacBee) Fail Thirty hours in session, including a V-Day all-nighter, and California STILL can't pass a budget. Bleary-eyed, dead broke California tag seen applying for job in Fark lobby (109)
(Abc.net.au) Obvious Mayor says bacon factory purchase is the best news the region could have hoped for (12)
(LA Times) Followup Paul Allen loses majority control as Charter Communications goes under. Farkers west of Utah lose Internet, telephone, cable, and annoying bundle ads (24)
(Reuters) Obvious Citing the stunning success of the "Drug Czar", President Obama puts the ixnay on the "Car Czarsay" (25)
(BevIndustry) Cool PepsiCo to manufacture "throwback" Pepsi and Mountain Dew sodas made with real sugar instead of high-fructose corn syrup, beginning in mid-April (408)
(SLTrib) Cool If you're looking for a job that's recession-proof, become a tattoo artist. "Sports heroes, rock n' roll stars and models all have tattoos." (34)

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