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(Headline T-Shirts are still available for archive links.)
Sun January 04, 2009
(I'm Blue) Stupid Dow Chemical, in an attempt to get news coverage in a time where everybody only talks about Dow Jones, trademarks the color "Blue" (25)
(Reuters) Interesting Thanks to the recession, drinks such as the Old Fashioned and the Sidecar are making a comeback. No word on Old English or Colt 45 (48)

Sat January 03, 2009
(Breitbart.com) Obvious 77% of Americans blame the media for making the economic crisis worse. EVERYBODY PANIC (77)
(ABC News) Sad New Yorkers to lose their Rainbow Room connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me (33)
(Kansas City) Amusing Smugsters set up solar panels on their roof and plan to sell power back to the grid, but the power company requires liability insurance. Tree huggers shocked to discover no one in the entire state sells it (89)
(Telegraph) Followup Beijing is showing all the symptoms of suffering from the same "Olympic curse" as Athens and Sydney, Atlanta too busy to comment (29)
(Reuters) Followup Remember how Russia and Ukraine playing chicken wasn't going to affect the EU's gas suppy? Yeah, if you live in Europe you might want to start burning your furniture (30)
(Google) Sad Nearly 145 years after Lee and Grant fought there and thousands of Americans died there, the Wilderness battlefield faces a formidable foe: Wal-Mart (48)

Fri January 02, 2009
(Yahoo) Cool Dow breaks 9,000 in a good direction (48)
(MSNBC) Obvious Young Japanese people are beginning to see the negative side to owning cars, this is bad news for Toyota, Honda, Suzuki, and Nissan (41)
(Barrons) Misc If you had Charter Communications in the 'next to fail' pool, please step up to collect your one Internet. Which is good for you, because they will be filing for Chapter 7 and shutting down the one in your house (43)
(NYPost) Stupid Man applies for a federal trademark to use the Freedom Tower to market a line of condoms. No word on what happens when users realize they don't measure up to the full 1,776 (18)
(Bloomberg) Scary Major red flag on the ledger of 2008: $30.1 trillion in market valuation wiped off the face of the earth. Relax, it should only take about 15 years to get back to even (42)
(Bloomberg) Asinine ♫ OPEC production, what's your function? / Raising our prices through output reduction ♫ (38)
(C|Net) Misc Some Microsoft employees get pink screen of death (33)
(The Scotsman) Obvious McDonald's exec admits that despite offering healthier choices they are not about to cut the availability of fat & salt because that's their bread & butter (32)
(TC Palm) Interesting People will still laugh at you behind your back when they find out what you do, but the market is currently booming for male nurses (155)
(Time) Obvious Europeans, realizing you can't pay off your mortgage with a credit card which is paid off with a diners club card which is paid off by another credit card, yet again wind up with a stronger currency than the U.S (47)

Thu January 01, 2009
(Some Guy) Obvious CEOs earn more in 12 hours than you'll make all year, in latest proof of why it sucks to be you (60)
(BBC) Spiffy South Korean fast-food capitalist introduces crispy fried chicken to the North, in bid to win favor of Communist colonels (23)
(Huffington Post) Interesting Russia cuts all gas supplies to Ukraine after it refuses to pull Russia's finger (30)
(NYPost) Spiffy 2009 will mark the last New Year that TV viewers see Times Square tourists wearing those goofy looking, double-zero glasses that have commemorated every New Year's Eve over the past decade (50)
(USA Today) Followup Time Warner reveals that yes indeed, it IS Viacom's biatch (29)
(Boston Globe) Unlikely The latest cause of health care costs is the government's failure to force doctors to use expensive, difficult software to save insurance companies money (30)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Hawaii gas drops 5-Oh cents to a 5-Oh year low (21)

Wed December 31, 2008
(MSNBC) Interesting Ford to introduce self parking technology, Toyota scratches its chin and says "Yeah that was a good idea I had, wasn't it?" (36)
(AP) Stupid Officials say tracking bailout funds will be "difficult." There's, like, all this math an' stuff (37)
(AJC) Stupid MSM, desperate for another angle on the economy, report on...idle electric meters (14)
(FARK) Survey Fark's 2008 Headline of the Year contest: Business (details in thread) (90)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Misc Food maker Kraft aims for a healthier 2009 with new products; "Kraft Cheese-Based-Product and Macaroni" sure to be a hit (22)
(Silicon Alley Insider) PSA My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Steve Jobs in perfect health at Fraiche Yogurt last night (43)
(Fox Business) Interesting Oil falls to $37 a barrel on news that Facebook has banned all pictures of breast-feeding (40)
(CNN) Followup Kevin Bacon one degree too close to Madoff (37)
(The Consumerist) Stupid CVS sees your Valentine's Day display on December 26th and raises you Easter candy 6 days after Christmas (30)
(Google) Stupid GMAC to loosen credit requirements for car loans. What could possibly go wrong? (48)
(C|Net) Ironic Gawker Media sells the Consumerist to Consumers Union. Which, according to a recent posting on the Consumerist is one of the greatest companies ever... in history (22)
(Washington Post) Cool SEC defends "fair-value" accounting standards that force companies to list what their assets are actually worth. Alert the media, the SEC finally did something right (19)
(Bloomberg) Sad U.S. dollar's biggest drop against the Japanese yen in twenty years means that you'll never be able to afford a PS3. At least mom's cooking is free (35)
(Reuters) Obvious Federal Reserve set to purchase $500,000,000,000 worth of toxic mortgage backed securities that are worth about $0.50 (35)
(WOAI) Obvious Macy's comes up with brilliant plan to get out of lackluster holiday shopping season: Double and triple-charge debit card users (18)
(Some Guy) Cool You can now buy gas in the U.S. for as low as $1.17 per gallon. The only catch: You have to take a trip to Wyoming to do it (44)
(MSN) Interesting Viacom threatens to remove MTV from Time Warner faster than MTV removed music from television (140)

Tue December 30, 2008
(Arizona Star) Stupid I know we said stores would start failing on Black Friday. Then just before Christmas. But we're sure they're going to start failing AFTER Christmas. Any day now. You'll see (52)
(Huffington Post) Interesting One big upside to collapse of housing market: divorcing couples are no longer arguing over who gets the house because neither one wants it (43)
(Daily Kos) Sick $37M for a Manhattan apartment: Your tax dollars at work (220)
(BusinessWeek) Interesting Who can take on Wal-Mart? Tesco thinks it can (39)
(Fox News) Dumbass To prove their days of wild, unnecessary spending are over, Chrysler takes out full-page ads to thank tax-payers for "investing" in them with bailout money (128)
(The Daily Press) Obvious Old and busted: Hybrid cars. New hotness: Gas guzzling SUVs (54)
(Orlando Sentinel) Misc You know the economy is bad when even ex-cons can't get a job. Wait, what? (29)
(USA Today) Interesting Good news, citizen. Only 16 percent of employers expect to cut jobs in the first three months of 2009. The remaining 84 percent will cut in April (15)
(Bloomberg) Obvious For the eleventieth month in a row, Case-Schiller home price index falls. Pretty soon banks will be paying you to live in their foreclosed homes (39)
(Forbes) Asinine Automakers: "Hey, thanks for the $17 billion. But, golly, now we're thinking that we might have trouble getting people to buy cars unless we can offer financing." Uncle Sam: "Will another $5 billion help?" (77)
(Metro) Sad Nanny State finally reaches point where welfare pays more than the average job, assuming that anyone over there ever had one (67)

Mon December 29, 2008
(Some Guy) Obvious Those 'Amish' fireplaces? Yeah, they're made in China (77)
(Sports by Brooks) Asinine The UAW has lost $23 million in the last five years operating its own private resort and golf club. Must be all those broken down golf carts (37)
(Jalopnik) Interesting First the Fiesta, now Ford brings back Taurus SHO. What's next? The Pinto? (87)
(AOL) Sad 12 big name companies that will vanish in 2009. Check and see if your company is on the list (107)
(Financial Times) Amusing RIAA churns out their newest plan, fresh from their Failtastic Idea Generator 3000: create one online digital music store (56)
(Fox News) Interesting Some analog TVs will lose stations when the signal is converted to digital. EVERYONE PANIC (92)
(Some Guy) Interesting Economic crunch forcing more people to turn to thrift stores for clothes after finding T.J. Maxx, dumpsters out of their price range (34)
(Some Guy) Followup Oil rises above $40 a barrel on news that the Detroit Lions won't make the playoffs (29)
(Philly) Sad How bad are auto sales? Auto dealers' inventories are getting repossessed (51)
(The Earth Times) Spiffy What recession? Christmas 4-day weekend delivers best holiday box office ever (42)
(Dallas News) Interesting Poor economy hurting King Tut exhibit. These days nobody has any extra mummy (17)

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