| Bloomberg sues the Federal Reserve to find out how many magic beans are needed to get a piece of the bank bailout |
(31) | ||
| Looks like DHL stands for Dump Half of Laborers |
(19) | ||
| Credit card issuers want to forgive up to 40% of your debt. Is there a catch? You betcha |
(64) | ||
| Number 47 announces he has altered the $700 billion bailout plan. Pray that he does not alter it further |
(31) | ||
| Former UBS CEO turns down $10.2 million bonus. This had nothing to do with the mansion being surrounded by peasants with pitchforks with torches alight? |
(16) | ||
| YouTube hopes to finally achieve profitability by showing full-length movies with uninterruptible, unpausable advertising breaks. The flaw in your cunning plan, let me show you it |
(29) | ||
| Netflix stops selling used DVDs, which will surely be a devastating blow to nobody |
(30) | ||
| Retailers so desperate for sales this Xmas many will be doing multiple "Black Friday" types of sales all season |
(29) |
| Nike pulls upcoming sneakers because they look too much like the same ones used in the "Heaven's Gate" mass suicide |
(25) | ||
| (Online Athens) | Think you'll get a great deal at one of Circuit City's closing stores? Think again |
(47) | |
| Microsoft announces its next failure will be ready to ship for the Christmas 2009 season - the perfect gift for everyone you hate |
(50) | ||
| Finally, a guide how to show snowflakes that engineers are more employable than english majors |
(138) | ||
| GMAC decides to get out of the automobile financing business |
(37) | ||
| Chrysler cheats on General Motors, preferring a quickie with Hyundai. That filthy, filthy whore |
(19) | ||
| More and more people buying Priuses with the "full smug" option. Chevy Volt unavailable for comment or purchase |
(41) | ||
| Your weekly Friday bank closure brought to you by Security Pacific Bank of Los Angeles |
(16) |
| Buh-bye big box stores, hello Hot Topics |
(43) | ||
| On Monday, we should expect insurance giant AIG, who borrowed over $100 billion from the feds to report a) profit, b) ??? or c) panic? |
(22) | ||
| General Motors is almost out of cash and may be forced to give Hummers for food |
(62) | ||
| In a transparent attempt not to let Ford steal all the headlines, GM posts $2.54 billion loss as revenue tumbles |
(65) | ||
| University of Chicago Business School gets $300 million donation. Tommorrow in class: self reliance, earning your own way and why welfare is socialism |
(60) | ||
| (Vator TV) | Facebook might not be worth the $15 billion price tag. CEO Zuckerberg: "When you raise money you take the best valuation you can get" |
(15) | |
| Barack Obama has promised to get rough with companies that move manufacturing jobs overseas. Two days later, Honeywell calls Obama a pussy, moves 700 jet jobs overseas |
(166) | ||
| Starbucks hires new CFO. Hires another CFO across the street |
(22) |
| HR Barbie slashes 1,000 office jobs at Mattel |
(12) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Japan's Nikkei drops over 6% on rumors that Obama will not be able to defeat Godzilla |
(14) | |
| World's largest Lamborghini dealer closes. Because nobody wants an unreliable 300K, 12-cylinder, 2 seater with giant blind spots that's not a hybrid |
(46) | ||
| Oil prices drop towards $60 on news of Fark link #4,000,000 |
(21) | ||
| AT&T confirms: 3G tethering finally comes to iPhone |
(45) | ||
| Craigslist will start charging a credit-card fee for "erotic services" (read: prostitution) ads |
(95) | ||
| Microsoft promises better battery life, less suckage in Windows 7 |
(77) | ||
| (bizjournals.com) | Yahoo suggests Microsoft should make new offer. Microsoft suggests Yahoo should blow it out their ass |
(29) | |
| You know times are hard when even the Las Vegas casinos are going bankrupt |
(38) | ||
| Facebook bans "Dead Babies Make Me Laugh" group. And so it begins |
(63) | ||
| Whole Foods Markets posted a 96% drop in net income in the fourth quarter, because people are switching from caviar to bologna. Mmmmmmm, bologna |
(87) | ||
| Veteran Bear Stearns manager takes a drug overdose and jumps from his 29th floor apartment after finding he wouldn't be hired by J.P. Morgan Chase. And so it begins |
(74) | ||
| Britain's car sales plummet 23% after everybody realizes they're driving on the wrong side of the road |
(11) | ||
| Gold price falls on news that Venezuela has decided to nationalize another industry |
(18) | ||
| PayPal founder Peter Thiel's hedge fund blows up |
(37) | ||
| Britain's banks warn consumers that mortgage rates will not decline no matter how much the Bank of England lowers interest rates today, adding "Muhahaha" |
(15) | ||
| Bank of England cuts UK interest rates by 1.5% |
(51) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Despite huge games like Guitar Hero and World of Warcraft, Activision still manages a huge net loss for 3rd Quarter |
(39) | |
| International Energy Agency expects oil to go back above $100 a barrel by 2015 or Memorial Day weekend, whichever comes first |
(12) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Insatiable demand for single-malt scotch in China, India and Russia empties liquor store shelves in Canada, leaving Canadian residents with nothing to mix with Clamato juice or Sunny D |
(42) |
| (Some Guy) | As the price of crude oil plunges, the question is asked: where have all the peak oil zealots gone? |
(112) | |
| Stocks tank on news that Obama wants to take all your money and spend it on ridiculous things like healthcare and education |
(77) | ||
| FCC gives the green light to the Verizon/Alltel merger. Which explains lack of faux Verizon Guy in those annoying Alltel commercials recently |
(25) | ||
| General Motors proves they're as good at making car loans as they are at making cars: not so much |
(33) | ||
| Oil plummets on news that Obama will make us all drive tiny cars that cause others to question our sexuality |
(44) | ||
| President-elect Obama already improving economy. Forces Chicago Tribune back to the presses. Is there nothing he can't do? |
(29) | ||
| Five myths about the Great Depression. An interesting read for anybody who may have just recently been elected to the highest office in America |
(114) | ||
| ♫ Ba-da-da-da-da... he's pluggin' it ♪ | (15) | ||
| Suppliers of US military weapons prepare for downturn in business following Barack's election |
(163) | ||
| Asian and European markets soar on news of the election of Barack Obama. That is change we can take to the bank |
(25) |
| Boeing delays 787 Dreamliner test flight. No, this is not a repeat from last quarter, or the quarter before that, or the quarter before that |
(22) | ||
| (Seeking Alpha) | Stock analysts downgrade Sirius XM to "underperform," based on inability to renegotiate debt and on horrible 2008-09 auto sales projections |
(14) | |
| Oil surges to $71 per barrel upon news that the new Britney Spears CD is now in stores |
(15) | ||
| Nortel to cut 5000 jobs. This headline is a repeat from 2000, 2001, 2002 (twice), 2003, 2004, 2005 (twice), 2006 (threepeat), and 2007 |
(15) | ||
| Yeah, hi Dell employees, if you could go ahead and not come in Sunday or the rest of the week so we can cut costs, that would be great |
(25) | ||
| Factory orders tumble again. I guess they didn't get the first tumble that they ordered |
(24) | ||
| US Airways to charge $7 for pillows and blankets, expected to crank the AC way up during flights |
(20) | ||
| ADM In $500 million brazilian ethanol joint venture. Just how may zeros are in $500 million brazilian anyway? |
(18) | ||
| You know the market is volatile when BMW won't even try to forecast its 2008 earnings |
(17) | ||
| If you picked AT&T as the next ISP to roll out bandwidth caps, come claim your prize |
(100) | ||
| Siemens ejaculates its 50 percent share in Fujitsu joint venture |
(11) | ||
| Brothel revenue falls on soft market and competition from bankers in screwing customers |
(18) | ||
| Marvell slashes outlook, citing gloomy economy. This is bad news... for Spider-Man |
(19) |
| Platinum surpasses gold as worst metal performer. Platinum apologizes to its fans, promises to get clean and rehearse more before touring again |
(33) | ||
| Oil chiefs fearing having to bathe in regular bathtubs filled with water instead of money, warn of price spike if investment wanes |
(31) | ||
| Dow plummets 5 points. EVERYBODY DO NOTHING |
(119) | ||
| Warren Buffett, Larry Ellison, Steve Ballmer, Jeff Bezos, and Rupert Murdoch are the biggest losers of Great Depression II so far; have lost a collective $38.5 billion. Schadenfreude to the right | (59) | ||
| CNBC continues to try to put a positive spin on this "downturn" |
(23) | ||
| U.S. factory activity crashes to a 26-year low. This is bad news ... for the economy |
(46) | ||
| Former chief risk officer at Bear Stearns will soon be doing a heckuvajob at the Federal Reserve |
(42) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Countries around the globe lower their personal taxes to attract labor. Denmark still tops the world with a 59 percent individual tax rate. But that includes all the free pastry you can eat | (288) | |
| MasterCard number one prostitute in all of Kazakhstan. $1,000 per annum buys you a 0.04 carat inlay. Very nice |
(16) | ||
| News: One of Australia's largest share trading company says the dropping Aussie dollar will increase trade competition; Fark: It's using the "iPod price index" as a key indicator |
(10) | ||
| Chinese government urges citizens to "Buy Chinese." Even they won't buy that cheap crap |
(26) |