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(Headline T-Shirts are still available for archive links.)
Sun November 02, 2008
(Houston Chronicle) Obvious Wall Street likely to recover no matter which president it manages to buy  T-Shirt (35)
(The Consumerist) Obvious If you picked November 3rd as the beginning of the end for Circuit City. Step up and claim your prize  T-Shirt (339)
(Monterey Herald) Sad Economy forces winetaster to work overtime in search of better cheap wine; "People don't need another $50 cabernet. What they need is a really good wine at $10"  T-Shirt (43)
(Telegraph) Cool For sale: one tunnel complex under central London, complete with bar and snooker hall  T-Shirt (10)
(ClusterStock) Scary More bad news for the economy, as reduced credit card limits could keep shoppers from buying even more useless crap they can't afford this Christmas season  T-Shirt (42)
(The Street) Fail State regulators close the 17th bank to fail this year  T-Shirt (17)
(YouTube) Video "Ben Bernanke Send Me Some Green" (In Barbershop Harmony Goodness) (10)

Sat November 01, 2008
(Some Guy) Sad "Dumpster diving. It is a practice I recently recommended as one way of coping with the credit crunch. This was a joke which last week became reality"  T-Shirt (43)
(AZCentral) Misc Bank of America agrees to halt 2,000 foreclosures in Arizona on overpriced homes buyers were tricked into purchasing. Tricked, we tell you, tricked  T-Shirt (44)
(Buffalo News) Weird Got wood? The entire state of NY hasn't had any since Labor Day  T-Shirt (58)
(Reuters) Interesting Consumers giving up "gym memberships and movie popcorn" to save money for electronic gadgets. Proving once again that when it comes to men, make it shiny with pretty lights and they'll buy it (16)
(Bloomberg) Amusing Fair is fair: If Bush's policies were responsible for the oil price increase, then he is also responsible for the decrease  T-Shirt (189)
(Reuters) Sad Six Flags faces delisting on the NYSE after their stock plunges below $1. Weeeeeeeeeee... Let's go again  T-Shirt (43)

Fri October 31, 2008
(NextAutos.com) Spiffy Nissan unveils the cheapest car sold in America. Note to Big 3: It doesn't suck  T-Shirt (96)
(Daily Mail) Strange Good news: Buy one car, get one free. Bad news: They're both Dodge Avengers  T-Shirt (14)
(Examiner) Cool Further proof the American economy's rocking: Japanese auto plants are shipping jobs overseas. To Alabama  T-Shirt (39)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Interesting Facebook hemorraging cash, runs to Dubai for money  T-Shirt (86)
(Some Guy) Interesting Six states account for 60% of bad mortgages, but only one has its own tag  T-Shirt (60)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Spiffy Google allows online ads for beer and champagne, says "in a recession, people look for different things." Next up, hookers and blow  T-Shirt (6)
(Drudge) Obvious DRUDGE surpasses NYTimes in page views .. [auto-refresh] .. DRUDGE surpasses NYTimes in page views .. [auto-refresh] .. DRUDGE surpasses NYTimes  T-Shirt (57)
(Chicago Tribune) Asinine McDonald's to swap the double cheeseburger for the McDouble, which is exactly like the double cheeseburger except it costs more and only has one slice of cheese  T-Shirt (60)
(Marketwatch) Interesting Dow is poking into the green, Kermit is in agony  T-Shirt (40)
(Bloomberg) Hero Barclay's, being the anti-establishment icon that it is, has devised a plan to raise over $11 billion for its own bailout -- without tapping government money  T-Shirt (12)
(MSNBC) Unlikely The 25 best markets for finding a job. Surprisingly close to the "25 places where your niece is also your baby mama" list  T-Shirt (55)
(CNN) Scary Welcome to the economic twilight of the Bush Administration, where more than 7.5 million non-foreclosed Americans are drowning in their homes  T-Shirt (214)
(CNBC) Followup President Bush puts the kibosh on reducing the Big Three to the Mediocre Two. GM-Chrysler deal on hold until someone with balls steps to the plate  T-Shirt (49)
(Marketwatch) Scary "Look, it tells time simultaneously in Monte Carlo, Beverly Hills, London, Paris, Rome, and Gstaad." "In Philadelphia, it's worth 50 bucks." "How much for the gun?" (30)
(MLive) Stupid Ford Motor execs stop huffing glue long enough to announce they are hiring 1,000 workers to meet an anticipated demand for the new F-150 pickup truck, bet on the Lions in the Superbowl  T-Shirt (40)
(AZCentral) Cool The planets finally aligned. Airlines cut fares for holiday travel  T-Shirt (13)
(Some Guy) Interesting String of gas stations selling for $1.82 a gallon, to the chagrin of petroleum officials. "It makes other retailers look like they are making excessive profits."  T-Shirt (50)

Thu October 30, 2008
(Adage) Asinine Let's change the name of Mountain Dew ... Fark it, the kids can't spell anyway Mtn Dew it is  T-Shirt (69)
(ABC Action News) Amusing Six governors ask feds for help for U.S. automakers, despite inability to build, market or sell anything that doesn't suck  T-Shirt (81)
(Some Guy) Followup Netflix streams first run-premium content from Starz. Trifecta is now complete  T-Shirt (24)
(CNBC) Fail "You don't just suddenly lose $120 billion overnight." Well, unless you're AIG  T-Shirt (113)
(Spiegel) Obvious America, where it pays to fail  T-Shirt (16)
(Some Guy) Scary Are giant spikes in the Dow a good thing? 1929 says no  T-Shirt (43)
(RealClearPolitics) Cool The United States is going to suck a lot less than the rest of the world during this recession. Yay us  T-Shirt (70)
(Palm Beach Post) Obvious New report says U.S. homeowners now slightly less delusional about the value of their homes. Quick everyone, to the mall  T-Shirt (22)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Obvious Economic turmoil stalls Motorola breakup into two companies; dropped calls to continue as scheduled  T-Shirt (4)
(BetaNews) Cool TiVo users will soon be able to stream Netflix movies directly to their TiVo DVR  T-Shirt (35)
(National Review) Obvious Barack Obama is promising a return to failed policies. The stock market has noticed  T-Shirt (197)
(Bloomberg) Obvious Best performing stock exchange in the world is in Ghana, where almost no shares are traded and trading is conducted using whiteboards  T-Shirt (9)
(USA Today) Obvious Once again, Southwest Airlines is the prom queen and US Airways remains the obese, acne-riddled girl in the corner  T-Shirt (29)
(ClusterStock) Obvious The U.S. economy officially shrank by 0.3% in Q3. Leon still getting laaarger  T-Shirt (28)
(CNN) Obvious Exxon breaks another profit record. New corporate headquarters to be built entirely out of $100 bills  T-Shirt (33)
(Some Guy) Cool XBox 360 users will soon be able to stream Netflix movies directly through XBox Live. Netflix streaming trifecta now in play  T-Shirt (58)
(Bloomberg) Asinine Uncle Ben's Free Money Emporium gives $30 billion each to Brazil, Mexico, South Korea and Singapore  T-Shirt (24)
(Detroit News) Scary GM-Chrysler deal very close to approval. Redundancies will lead to 70,000 job losses. Thankfully, we didn't export all our other manufacturing jobs, so these people will be fine. Oh, wait (60)
(Reuters) Interesting Starbucks' profits, which have been slowly dripping away, my finally have hit the grounds. No beans, they've lost a latte money  T-Shirt (23)

Wed October 29, 2008
(Some Guy) Fail Qwest to cut 1200 jobs by year's end after earnings drop 93%. Okay, I know times are tough, but somebody is doing something seriously wrong here  T-Shirt (23)
(MSNBC) Spiffy Wal Mart is going to improve it's stores. "We've placed emphasis on making it more enjoyable." How about locking up any free range kid that wears those roller skate sneakers  T-Shirt (66)
(Bloomberg) Sad Thanks to US Gov't bailout, Wall Street investment banks set to pay out (Gordon Gekko touches pinky to cheek) $20 BILLION in bonuses this year  T-Shirt (332)
(CNN) Amusing "Communications majors have some of the same skill sets as English majors and often compete for similar jobs." Would you like an apple pie with that?  T-Shirt (51)
(Some Guy) Amusing Here's a professionally written article weighing each argument for WalMart selling the G1. Just kidding - he whines because it's $30 cheaper and thinks everyone at WalMart is retarded, yet he doesn't know what an upgrade fee is (16)
(The Consumerist) Interesting Domino's registers Pizza Hut trademark in UK in 30 minutes or less  T-Shirt (16)
(Gawker) Dumbass Sumner Redstone might lose control of both CBS and Viacom because he took out massive loans to buy stock. You're doing it wrong  T-Shirt (4)
(Salon) Interesting Delta and Northwest get permission to be BFF forever  T-Shirt (20)
(Some Guy) Interesting Motorola: "Hey employees, we're going to install the simple new Android operating system in our new phones" Employees: "Awesome. How simple is it?" Motorola: "Well, for starters -- 7,500 of you can GTFO." (10)
(Marketwatch) Obvious Morgan Stanley is heartbroken that they have to become a boring old bank. Here come the free toasters  T-Shirt (4)
(NYPost) Ironic Would you invest with a banker who plays the lottery?  T-Shirt (17)
(USA Today) Asinine Cheapskate companies are suspending their 401(k) matching, citing the sinking economy. Their CEOs nod, light cigars with $1000 bills, snort coke off hookers' butts (26)
(Wall Street Journal) Fail "Yahoo's new platform." Unable to think of a successful pun for "platform," author includes photo of platform high heels. Thank you, Rupert Murdoch  T-Shirt (14)
(The Street) NewsFlash Fed cuts key rate to negative eleventy percent  T-Shirt (214)
(Yahoo) Fail Regarding the Fed funds rate, the market may react poorly, or well, or just indifferent. That's some fine reporting there, Lou  T-Shirt (39)
(Reuters) Ironic Two days before Halloween, China lowers interest rates to 6.66 percent  T-Shirt (23)
(NBC San Diego) Amusing Foreclosure specialist chains herself to her front porch to avoid foreclosure. FAIL and Irony tag locked in battle to the death. Amusing tag steps up  T-Shirt (83)
(Spiegel) Stupid French President Sarkozy gives speech in Berlin calling for nationalization of European businesses. Germany politely declines, considers nationalizing France again  T-Shirt (46)
(Jossip) Sad "Newsweek net income for the first half of the year went from $133.2 million in 2007 to $36.5 million, which isn't so much a 'moderately weakened' business, so much as a 'holy sh*t, time to fire everyone' business" (30)
(Bloomberg) Followup Volkswagen short-sellers continue to be screwed in a very uncomfortable place  T-Shirt (12)
(ClusterStock) Obvious Your bank bailout billions could soon help prop up a huge venture capital fund  T-Shirt (9)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Obvious Ten embarrassing product placements. Bonus: All on one page. Super bonus: Silicon Alley Insider is playing the 10 blankiest blanks game  T-Shirt (25)
(The Local (Germany)) Followup Porsche on VW stock chaos: "It vasn't us, it vas de udder guy. Dat guy over dere, vis de funny tie"  T-Shirt (7)
(YouTube) Scary Seventy-nine years ago today, the Crash of 1929 hit Wall Street, America and the world. LGT words of wisdom from economist back then: "This country is fundamentally sound" (37)
(Bloomberg) Scary The Federal Reserve may begin to mimic the Wall Street banks it intends to save: Zero-percent interest rates have now become a real possibility  T-Shirt (29)
(Yahoo) Asinine Oil companies post massive 3Q profits yet plan to cut capital expenditures. Because those new projects could lead to cheaper gasoline, and who wants that?  T-Shirt (25)
(BusinessWeek) Obvious Media telling everybody to panic may be making financial crisis worse. Didn't someone write a book about this?  T-Shirt (10)

Tue October 28, 2008
(Bloomberg) Obvious Dreamworks 3Q profits off 21% from last year on news that their panda movie didn't have enough fart sounds  T-Shirt (10)
(Bloomberg) Stupid Chrysler drops production of hybrids as gas prices fall. What could possibly go wrong?  T-Shirt (35)
(ABC News) Obvious Banks participating in the bailout set aside $108 billion for bonuses. American taxpayer asked to bend over and take their "bonus"  T-Shirt (107)
(ClusterStock) Obvious Morgan Stanley to the markets: "MOVE ALONG, NOTHING TO SEE HERE. REMAIN CALM"  T-Shirt (9)
(The Virginian Pilot) Interesting Housing market is not bad for everyone. It's a great market for first-time home buyers  T-Shirt (48)
(CNBC) Followup 600 points not enough? Try Dow up 900. Wheeeee  T-Shirt (82)
(How Stuff Works) Obvious The McFailure: Five McProducts that sucked McBalls  T-Shirt (115)
(Globe and Mail) Unlikely Canadian auto-parts industry needs $1 billion in government loans to survive, which is also the going rate of a new transmission  T-Shirt (11)
(Marketwatch) Strange DJIA soars nearly 600 points on news that consumers have no confidence. Welcome to Crazy Town. Population: You  T-Shirt (57)
(Reuters) Interesting Analyst reaction to consumer confidence: "I was wondering how low it might go but it blew through my worst expectations."  T-Shirt (27)
(Wired) Interesting Google settle book scanning suit for $125 million. Which fortunately is now only 10 pesos  T-Shirt (6)
(Dallas News) Amusing Apple stock tanks on Great Depression survivor offering financial advice: "Don't waste your time with iPods and other gadgets."  T-Shirt (51)
(Some Guy) Followup Ray Ozzie confirms that Microsoft's next operating system will take 50 years to debug  T-Shirt (23)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Stupid New York Times to staff: Relax, we're not firing you yet. Now get back to work  T-Shirt (8)
(Ad Age) Interesting Heineken sales drop because they haven't had any new advertising telling people to drink their mediocre beer. Drinkers now consist of divorced dads trying to be hip and some dude in Kentucky running a blog thingie (51)
(Marketwatch) Obvious "Bottom line: You've been scammed: This is total incompetence, bordering on unethical and criminal"  T-Shirt (47)
(Reuters) Obvious Boeing reaches labor agreement with workers. Early reports indicate the "please god come back to work because we're losing $100 million a day" clause was invoked to some effect (111)
(BBC) Scary Iceland raises interest rates to an eye-watering eighteen percent  T-Shirt (27)
(Bloomberg) Amusing If you've been shorting Volkswagen, baby, you just got Fahrvergnuegöwned  T-Shirt (119)
(CNN) Obvious Cable company is looking for a few more Cox suckers  T-Shirt (32)
(First Bike Shop) Asinine For the remaining few souls out there who still have more money than brains and a willingness to spoil their children, we humbly present the $2500 tricycle  T-Shirt (16)
(NYPost) Interesting A bunch of 10-year-olds prove if you've lost money on the stock market you're doing it wrong  T-Shirt (74)
(Bloomberg) Obvious Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such headlines as "Asian Markets Fall, Look Out Below." And "OMG, We're All Going to Die."  T-Shirt (10)
(Bloomberg) Dumbass Deutsche Bank lost $400 million by listening to people who thought they could manipulate the market with math. Math is hard, OK?  T-Shirt (16)
(BusinessWeek) Obvious The federal government will step in to help General Motors buy Chrysler because of something called the "multiplier effect." Several million workers can sleep soundly tonight  T-Shirt (40)
(Some Guy) Obvious Like we didn't have enough to blame Saddam Hussein for already: 9/11 called 'the root' of the financial crisis  T-Shirt (49)
(Wired) Sad Microsoft may buy Netflix. If you're a linux fan, time to duct tape your head  T-Shirt (38)
(WTOP) Sad Foreclosed homeowner brags about her mortgage fraud, multiple bankruptcies and living in the house for 42 months without paying a cent. Fark: nothing happens. Ultrafark: you're paying for it, citizen (48)

Mon October 27, 2008
(Wall Street Journal) Misc Mastercard uses Visa to pay off their Discover bill  T-Shirt (7)
(Reuters) Interesting Goldman takes stake in carbon company Blue Source to help convert all the hot air they have been blowing  T-Shirt (3)
(Marketwatch) Scary Chinese investors fearful of ominous economic indicators: poor earnings outlook, stock market down 61% this year, price of hairy crabs at 10 year low. Wait, what?  T-Shirt (19)
(Forbes) Strange Solid investment in troubled times: Napoleon's Penis  T-Shirt (15)
(CNBC) Obvious Congratulations, you now own 10 more U.S. banks. You're gonna need a bigger wallet  T-Shirt (51)
(Marketwatch) Cool New home sales up 2.7 percent. Markets to pause as analysts relearn what the word "up" means  T-Shirt (59)
(Bloomberg) Cool How actions by Morgan Stanley prevented a significant crash in money markets -- and why you should thank them with your tax money  T-Shirt (12)
(USA Today) Interesting The dismal economy is causing more parents to tell their college-bound kids, "Goodbye UCLA, and hello Ed's Discount School of Book-Learnin' and Bait Shop"  T-Shirt (221)
(CNN) Scary The Japanese stock market parties like it's 1982  T-Shirt (34)
(Some Guy) Asinine That $700 billiOn Bailout wE are all paYing for? It seems every industry wants a piece of the pie now, and they just might get it  T-Shirt (53)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Don't have the money to buy Christmas gifts for the children? Not a problem. Just get the Easy Card, with an interest rate of only 227 percent  T-Shirt (27)
(Telegraph) Fail If you had Ukraine as the next country to need an emergency bailout from the IMF, step up and collect your free whatever the hell Ukraine makes  T-Shirt (28)
(The Sun) Amusing One in five people report having had sex on the job. The other four report having been screwed at work, which is different  T-Shirt (45)
(Yahoo) Stupid Fed looks towards another rate cut. For those of you following along at home, that places us at negative 1.5  T-Shirt (38)

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