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Sun September 07, 2008
(AP) Scary OPEC draws a line in the sand, promises that oil will not drop below $100 a barrel (42)
(InfoWorld) Interesting Red Hat buys Israel-based Qumranet. Now to be known as Black Hat (8)
(Some Guy) Misc Wal-Mart sued for paying employees with gift cards. An injunction was also filed to stop arranged marriages for customer associates (49)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Cabbage Patch kids turn 25, find it difficult to shed their adolescent image (58)
(The Consumerist) Dumbass Comcast decides to use its Department of Motor Vehicle powers to remove the elderly from the roads- and you thought they only controlled the FCC (17)
(Baltimore Sun) Interesting Future tolls on DC highways could run over $1 a mile, but that's small price to pay to get the hell out of Washington (20)
(Some Guy) Obvious One in 14 people has lied to their insurance company. In related news, 13 of 14 people have had their insurance company lie to them (8)
(MSNBC) News All your mortgages are now our mortgages (600)

Sat September 06, 2008
(News.com.au) Interesting Why men visit brothels - a prostitute's view. "There is even one man who asks the girls to sit on his back, smack him and call him Blacky the horse" (58)
(Reuters) PSA United States outstanding debt to increase by $5 trillion on Monday, from $14 to $19 trillion excluding all future obligations and municipal, county, state, corporate, and personal debts (89)
(Marketwatch) Interesting Altria (aka Philip Morris) might buy smokeless tobacco and wine maker UST. Smokless wine, what will they think of next? (13)
(Yahoo) Obvious The 10 most affordable housing markets: why doesn't anybody want to live in MI, IN, OH, or PA? (305)
(Telegraph) Obvious Prices for chicken, ham and rice have soared 40 percent this year in trend economists warn could spell the end of jambalaya as we know it (19)
(AP) Interesting Good news: Microsoft deploying in-store customer-service reps. Bad news: you're not allowed to pummel them with Vista boxes (28)
(SeattlePI) Spiffy What do you get when you combine four computers, $100,000 in capital, and two really, really clever guys. If you don't know the answer, try Googling it (18)
(Yahoo) Sad Large financial institution fails where the son of a presidential hopeful was a board member. Haven't we heard this before? (39)
(Washington Post) Obvious Beer sales post highest increase since 1990. "People gotta drink no matter what's going on with the economy" (23)
(Yahoo) Obvious If you had September 5th in the "Government seizes Fannie and Freddie" pool, come forward to collect your winnings (183)

Fri September 05, 2008
(BBC) Asinine Energy company decides it's been undercharging family-run hotel for the past four years, sends six figure bill to make up the difference. It's not all bad though, they're giving them 25% off (15)
(Reuters) Stupid Continental Airlines introduces $15 fee for 1st checked bag (155)
(Yahoo) Interesting Samsun to aquire Sandisk. New company to be named Samsan Sundisk (65)
(CNBC) Hero Fartknockers MCD, IRF, POT (36)
(CNN) Scary Up in the sky is it a bird, a plane... oh hell it's the unemployment rate (340)
(BBC) Interesting Brazil declines to join OPEC, believes that it is still strong enough taunt and extort its oil customers all by itself (13)
(AM New York) Sad Coney Island's legendary Astroland amusement park will close for good on Sunday, after 50 years (42)
(NoName247) Obvious The Start of the Microsoft $300 Million Dollar Image Campaign. Seinfeld and Gates in the commercial that is selling nothing - what's the deal? (75)

Thu September 04, 2008
(Marketwatch) Followup Stocks fall on news that field-dressing a moose isn't actually a qualification for VP (34)
(Bloomberg) Scary Two words you don't want to hear describing the continuing economic deterioration: "Financial Tsunami" (40)
(Bloomberg) Obvious JPMorgan, facing stiff Federal probe, pulls out of the muni-interest rate swap business. Wife-swapping at the executive level still kosher (6)
(ClusterStock) Followup OPEC won't cut oil production this month because the Miami Dolphins are undergoing a rebuilding year (12)
(MSNBC) Interesting Americans' productivity stronger than expected, despite what you are doing right now (95)
(Reuters) Interesting Ever wonder why oil inventory predictions never seem to match actual inventory reports? Commodity market regulators are wondering the same thing (19)
(CNBC) PSA Fine upstanding business analysts from CNBC's Fast Money would like it if you purchased: Potash Corporation of Saskatchewan Inc, Schlumberger Ltd, Huntsman Corporation and El Paso (the company, not the town) (30)
(Komo) Interesting Boeing machinists vote to strike, shirley they can't be serious (48)
(The Consumerist) Scary Citibank, All the evil of Superman 3. Minus the red Kryptonite (35)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Why gas companies refuse to lower prices, despite crude falling 25 percent since July. Surpringingly, answer not, "Because we can. Fark you and your Escalade" (49)

Wed September 03, 2008
(Marketwatch) Misc Ford Motors says sales off 27%, optimistic about Flintstone foot-powered car in development (14)
(Advertising Age) Dumbass HR executive accidentally sends out information about upcoming job cuts to the entire company. Oops (119)
(CBS News) Obvious Not News: The median weekly income for American workers has not grown in real terms in the last eight years (82)
(CNN) Stupid U.S. gives Venezuela 250K barrels of oil. Wait, wut? (33)
(AJC) Interesting Coke purchases Chinese juice maker for $2.4 billion, hoping to prevent another "pee pee in Coke" joke (25)
(CNBC) Interesting Cramer feels that the negative sentiment on Wall Street is "totally overblown." Like, totally (19)
(Bloomberg) PSA The fastest-growing part of the global bond market is faltering after a Bahrain-based group of Islamic scholars decreed that most bonds ran afoul of religious rules (13)
(ClusterStock) Spiffy OPEC to cut oil supply production to celebrate the kickoff of the NFL season (36)
(CNBC) Spiffy Even if the European Central Bank holds rates, the euro's supremacy on the currency markets is close to an end (25)
(ClusterStock) Scary Goldman Sachs: My oil price target is still waaay bigger than your oil price target (15)
(CNBC) Stupid Fartknocker fartknockers want fartknockers to knock farts onto Staples, Joy Global and Fartknockers (21)
(The New York Times) Dumbass Vogue India editor defends 16-page fashion spread featuring toothless women modeling $10,000 Hermès Birkin bag and starving babies wearing $100 bib: "Lighten up, Vogue is about realizing the power of fashion" (29)

Tue September 02, 2008
(CTV) Sad John Deere sends a Dear John letter to Canada (15)
(YouTube) Cool 2008 Best Lemonade Stand in America (18)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Interesting Yahoo's stock breaks $19. Microsoft's "massively undervalued" $31 offer looking pretty good right now (19)
(C|Net) Interesting After installing Chrome, make sure to read the fine print (104)
(The Consumerist) Interesting In a rare moment of compassion, United's plan to stop serving hot meals on international flights and to instead throw a $9 sandwich down your throat has been axed, after several "feedbacks" were received (120)
(ClusterStock) Spiffy I survived Hurricane Gustav and all I got was this cheap barrel of oil (33)
(CNBC) PSA The Fast Money Fartknockers had three whole days to come up with their picks, and the best they could do is Excel Maritime, Gold ETF, Golar LNG and Wells Fargo (24)
(Financial Times) Obvious GM expected to flog its OnStar system with ads showing how it helped people fleeing Gustav after their POS cars broke down on the highway (35)
(Baltimore Sun) Asinine Recession can be good for your health. Well, not you specifically. Just society as a whole (57)

Mon September 01, 2008
(CBC) Obvious Canadian shoe magnate Thomas J. Bata dies at age 93. May God have mercy on his sole (32)
(Canada.com) Obvious Study finds call centre workers "stressed and depressed." Boo hoo. Like it's our fault they didn't go to college (52)
(Bloomberg) Cool Oil down almost $5 on news that Bush's hurricane making machine is having technical difficulties (19)
(Telegraph) Obvious The ugliest cars of all time - and proof that Americans do ugly better than anyone else (pics) (104)
(ABC 7) Obvious Countrywide suit could throw the entire title insurance business into disarray. Bank of America ponders $1,000 ATM fee to offset their poor investment (16)

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