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Sun August 31, 2008
(London Times) Sad "The days of cheap airline travel are coming to an end and the omens indicate they won't be coming back any time soon" (34)
(London Times) Amusing Mortgage lenders learn that "let the market decide" only sounds good when times are good. When times are bad? Not so much (12)
(CTV) Obvious Coffee shop bans pennies, declares itself word's first "Penny-Free Zone." "It became clear to us that the amount of time we spent taking care of pennies wasn't valuable in the long run" (43)
(MSNBC) Sad GM thinks they'll be making money again in 2010, maybe (19)
(ABC News) Interesting Sucky economy has an upside: Americans are producing less trash. Well, maybe not in Hollywood, which is still out of ideas, but everywhere else (63)
(ZDNet) Obvious Google says AOL is a lemon, regretting $1 billion investment (22)
(AP) Obvious America's restaurants hope to lure diners back with lower-priced dishes, such as Burger King's chicken strips wrapped in a burrito (21)

Sat August 30, 2008
(AJC) Interesting Integrity Bank credited their success not to themselves, but to God. So who's fault is it they were just seized by the Fed? (52)
(Washington Post) Obvious China has us by the balls, and isn't about let go (25)
(Financial Times) Obvious Economists warn that Canada "is on brink of recession", point to thousands of Canadians frantically hoarding poutine, Carling Black Label and Celine Dion box sets to get them through the coming hard times (40)
(London Times) Dumbass Mortgage lenders are shocked, SHOCKED that some of their no doc loans were used to support drug manufacturing, illegal immigration and money-laundering (12)

Fri August 29, 2008
(MSNBC) Obvious Now that the rebate checks are gone, the economy resumes its previous flight toward the basement of Hell (40)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Reason #473,665 why GM sucks: they just recalled one million vehicles . . . because the WINDSHIELD WIPERS CATCH ON FIRE (150)
(BBC) Misc Dell: "Apparently we didn't think our cunning pricing plan all the way through" (15)
(The Business Sheet) Interesting Merrill's mortgage gamblers lose one-quarter of the money the firm made in past 36 years (8)
(Some Guy) Cool "More US consumers plan to buy a Mac in the next 90 days than any other brand" Suck it, Windows fanboys (186)
(Some Guy) Fail Top eight public works boondoggles in the world, and why they blew their budgets and failed to meet expectations. Denver airport, Chunnel, and the Big Dig head a tough field (63)
(The Business Sheet) Interesting Citigroup's latest cost-cutting move: single-ply toilet paper (23)
(The Business Sheet) Interesting Starstruck JP Morgan execs agog as Michael Phelps stops by (13)
(Newsweek) Sad The hood ornament is dying out; Flavor Flav inconsolable (26)
(CNBC) PSA The Fast Money Fartknockers mail it in on a Friday, want you to buy Amazon, Lockheed - Martin, Goldman Sachs and Aflac (11)
(The Consumerist) Asinine Ever wondered what happens to your cancelled checks? Texas bank sells them to cannery as packing material (57)
(The Sun) Obvious Office workers found to waste 600 hours each year furtively eyeing those hotties from accounting when they ought to be working (36)
(The Consumerist) Fail How desperate is Chrysler trying to sell cars? Dealership sends ad disguised as traffic ticket (12)
(Reuters) Strange Weirdest thing to boost consumer spending this summer? A record haul of Olympic medals (3)
(Independent) Obvious Retailers report their worst month for sales in 25 years. Their sales are in the tank because your money is going into yours (19)
(Reuters) Asinine Thank you for choosing Comcast high speed internet. Now don't use it that much or we'll cancel your service (369)
(CNN) Asinine In the unlikely event you survive a water landing with Air Canada, now you're going to drown (28)

Thu August 28, 2008
(Some Guy) Interesting Woman sues PA town after being denied permit to open a pole-dancing studio (73)
(NWA Morning News) Fail College president arranges $300,000 secret bonus for himself, gets caught, resigns with $700,000 buyout. Tag is for the school (41)
(Examiner) PSA Every Wendy's from central Florida to Miami will present the first 50 dine-in customers on Labor Day with a book of 52 coupons for free Double Stacks -- a year's supply of burgers. In other news something finally trumps the Florida tag (20)
(Bloomberg) Cool On the plus side of Dubya leaving American infrastructure in shambles, his expiring tax plan is causing the elite, or his "base," to buy municipal bonds at a faster pace (12)
(Toronto Star) Sad If you had "Zoom Airlines" in the which airline goes bankrupt this week pool, please proceed to Gate 5 to collect your prize (21)
(The Register) Hero What's the difference between Larry Ellison and God? God doesn't walk into the boardroom and demand a 38% pay increase (105)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Obvious How to lose your Wall Street job: Run an anonymous blog then forget that you're supposed to be anonymous (31)
(ClusterStock) Amusing Lehman Brothers admits that it plagiarized a piece of stock research from rival firm Sanford Berstein... In other news, Citigroup ask for extension on term paper (2)
(MSNBC) Cool U.S. economy ....g.....g.....(what's that word?) ....GREW an unexpected 3.3% in the second quarter (537)
(CNBC) PSA The Fast Money Fartknockers want you to buy Excel Maritime, EMC Corp, UltraShort Basic Materials ProShares, and NetApp. Apparently Quint Tatro gets paid by the letter (13)
(Kotaku) Interesting When the corporate world turns to gaming, A WINNER IS YOU (12)
(USA Today) Ironic Enzyte exec gets 25 years. I wonder if his cell mate "Bob" needs the enhancement or will be smiling (68)
(The Consumerist) Asinine WaMu costs man $3,400 because of their inability to mail a letter. WOOHOO, indeed (30)

Wed August 27, 2008
(Reuters) Unlikely Exxon agrees to pay out 75% of Valdez damages, remove mini bars from captain's quarters (32)
(Breitbart.com) Interesting Tivo posts another quarterly profit but [FAST FORWARD] financial outlook is still bleak (18)
(BBC) Hero Not news: Man upset with his bank. News: Changes his telephone password to "Lloyds is pants". Fark: Bank changes it to "no it's not". Ultrafark: He tried "Barclays is better" but the bank said no (120)
(ClusterStock) Silly U.S. GAAP isn't good enough for the SEC any more - companies will have to use International Financial Reporting Standards from 2014. Why does the SEC hate America? (36)
(CNN) Sad Bankruptcy filings surge 29%, your dog wants to sleep in the back seat tonight (34)
(RealClearPolitics) Scary The four horsemen of economic apocalypse (77)
(MSNBC) Interesting Look into the face of the 13-year-old girl who made your iPhone (274)
(The Consumerist) Asinine Applebee's food order comes with delicious "out of date" sticker on it. Manager apologizes, offers to refresh drinks (312)
(Philly) Interesting Newspaper union votes not to accept $25-a-week raise in order to help save the newspaper from financial problems, which were probably caused by the fact that the paper has 11 unions (39)
(MDN) Spiffy Puny light beers will tremble in fear before Kirin's Strong Seven, the low-priced, high-alcohol beer for the Sumo in all of us (36)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Stupid Warner Bros launches TheWB.com, hopes to reestablish contact with the 27 people who watched The WB before it folded (31)
(Fox Business) Interesting Oil prices rise above $117 a barrel on concern that Bill Clinton's speech tonight at the DNC will not unify the party (15)
(BusinessWeek) Interesting Old and busted: Penis envy. New hotness: Pension envy. Pension (22)

Tue August 26, 2008
(Houston Chronicle) Obvious Court orders Bratz to pay Mattel $40 million for copyright infringement. Next up: Food Network expected to sue Bratz for basing dolls' appearance on Giada De Laurentiis without express written consent (39)
(Reuters) Spiffy France uses high-tech satellite imaging technology to battle California and Australia in wine wars. Luckily for them, Germany doesn't make any good wine (44)
(Yahoo) Obvious Fed's next move likely to be up. Welcome to Mortgage Crisis 2: Electric Boogaloo (36)
(Globe and Mail) Obvious Latest proof economy is really going into the toilet: we're clipping more coupons (49)
(Kansas City) Obvious Home sales down 35.3 percent year-to-year, but up 2.4 percent month-to-month. Guess which one the media decided to report. Hint: EVERYBODY PANIC (177)
(AZCentral) Misc A new beer named after the "patron saint" of drug traffickers is brewing up controversy in Mexico (67)
(CNBC) PSA The Fast Money Fartknockers want you to go out and buy Titanium Metals, XTO Energy and some Natty Gas (17)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Scary Not even the Web can save The New York Times (18)
(CNBC) Interesting Cramer thinks that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac should be taken over by the U.S. Treasury (39)
(The Register) Interesting Looks like new Coke and Kindle have at least one thing in common (35)
(Bloomberg) PSA Russia's stock market index falls to the lowest level since 2006, ruble also dropping on news of Russia recognizing those Georgia counties that broke away from the Confederacy (22)
(MSNBC) Asinine U.S. auto manufacturers want $50 billion from Congress to develop next-generation, fuel-efficient vehicles that they should have been developing years ago (114)

Mon August 25, 2008
(CNBC) Sad Dow falls 240 points on speculation that Dennis Kucinich will steal nomination from Obama this week (28)
(ClusterStock) Sad Winter home heating bills are going to make your gas fill-ups look like pocket change (100)
(Houston Chronicle) Obvious Ninjas responsible for the second wave of defaulting home loans (274)
(USA Today) Obvious Airlines are shocked that business travelers would rather have a standing-room only, on-time flight option than pay a $500 premium for a free drink in the front of the plane (36)
(Sun Sentinel) Spiffy Items inflation has missed. You didn't notice because all your money is going towards milk and gas (25)
(ClusterStock) Interesting What peak oil? Natural gas supplies become abundant, prices crash, and sunshine and rainbows abound (19)
(UPI) Scary U.S. stocks take early tumble. Not expected to medal (11)
(CNBC) PSA The Fast Money Fartknockers want you to go out and buy some NVIDIA, McDonalds, Vale and Evergreen Solar today (14)
(St. Petersburg Times) Spiffy Airlines wave bye-bye to long-standing practice of letting families with small children board first (294)
(Canada.com) Obvious Man wins damages after being fired because he was bipolar. He's reportedly ecstatic. Nope, devastated. Oops, ecstatic agai ... hold on, he's distraught (99)
(automobile.com) Cool Behold: a small commuter built by Chevy that doesn't look like it'll suck (65)
(Reuters) Strange Despite the recession and resulting demand for cheap clothing and shelter, America's cardboard-box plants are closing left and right (13)

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