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Sun August 17, 2008
(Albany Times Union) Obvious Mourning son needs to get deceased mom's name off the family phone bill. Verizon studies their marketing research numbers, decides this is the perfect time to get all douchey with the guy (26)
(The Local (Germany)) Amusing Not News: Unemployed man gets grant to start a business. News: Dealing drugs. Fark: Court rules he doesn't have to pay back the money (12)
(The Consumerist) Obvious People who offer payday loans are a big fat bunch of lying doody heads (58)
(Kansas City) Obvious Sprint Senior VP spontaneously issues press release stating that the company is "on solid financial footing" with "plenty of liquidity". And we all know how this usually turns out (17)
(The Scotsman) Cool Tight UK economy gets a supportive lift from firm sales of lingerie, figures reveal (10)

Sat August 16, 2008
(AP) Followup For those of you too lazy to drive to the video store, and too honest to download movies from the 'net, we have some good news for you (37)
(London Times) Obvious Lehman Brothers in talks to sell off their entire $40 billion real estate portfolio. Tommy Vu and Carleton Sheets seen dusting off their infomercials. "Look at all these babes." (20)

Fri August 15, 2008
(USA Today) Obvious New 3G ... Iphone suff .... drop .... calls world-wide.... at Apple blame ..... hope they.... product recall (59)
(Reuters) Obvious Mrs. Fields files for bankruptcy, thanks to outraged consumers forwarding secret cookie recipe to their friends, relatives, and mailing lists worldwide (35)
(The Business Sheet) Interesting How bad is recession? James Bond now driving a Ford (51)
(CNN) Obvious Oil prices down on news that gold supplies are being hoarded by Michael Phelps (23)
(CNN) Asinine Crack GM designers working long hours and weekends have finally found a way to make the Cadillac CTS uglier than ever (64)
(Marketwatch) Interesting Faux Breakfast Club commerical is not helping J.C. Penney (53)
(MSN) Interesting How Amazon is kicking the snot out of Ebay (45)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting Conventional wisdom: Corporate welfare. Reality: The US has the second highest corporate tax rate in the world (211)
(Excite) Interesting Yahoo Inc. said Thursday it will add the former chief executives of Viacom and Nextel Partners to its board of directors as part of the company's deal to ward off a ninja fight with billionaire investor Carl Icahn (3)
(ClusterStock) Obvious The Chevy Volt, GM's 150 mpg plug-in hybrid, will be ready by 2010. Maybe. Not really (56)
(ClusterStock) Dumbass Global economy tanking "as expected." Well, if you keep saying "recession" enough, it will be true eventually (29)
(CNBC) Interesting Carl Icahn seems to enjoy losing money, buys more shares in Motorola. In other news George Soros is trying to buy Wall Street. In related news, Bill Gates invests like a drunken frat boy (7)

Thu August 14, 2008
(Gawker) Obvious Dark days for dark print as Gannett to cut 1000 jobs, McClatchy goes with a wage freeze and Sam Zell's Tribune Company lost another $20 million (29)
(ClusterStock) Interesting When billionaires blow it: Boone Pickens loses shirt on oil bet but is sure it won't go below $100 (20)
(Bloomberg) Interesting The Wachovia unit that made oodles of cash insuring mortgage backed securities and gave such warm fuzzies to investors everywhere just filed for bankruptcy. In Bermuda (6)
(The New York Times) Obvious Inflation hits annual pace not seen since 1991, when Bush was president and American troops were in Iraq... hey waitaminute (258)
(BBC) Interesting British Airways signs alliance with American, Iberia. Let the Brits do the catering, give the Americans the PR jobs, and let the Spanish fly the planes (except for between 1pm and 4pm) (15)
(CNBC) Obvious Oil falls below $115. Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care? If so I can't imagine why (48)
(CNBC) Obvious This summer's top business stories tend to be the same thing, over and over again. Just different dates (15)
(The Register) Followup If a Yelp salesman offers to push your negative reviews down the page in exchange for cash, throw him out on his ear (14)
(ClusterStock) Followup Barnes & Noble and Borders: two bricks tied together still don't float (50)
(Marketwatch) Amusing Production begins on the new Ford Fiesta. Fiesta, it's like a party on four wheels (55)
(Bloomberg) Obvious Merrill Lynch may cut their dividend for the first time in thirty-seven years. CEO John Thain grabs the cord on his golden parachute *PULL* (9)
(Rocky Mountain News) Sad Oldest working CEO dead at 107 (21)
(WorldNetDaily) Interesting U.S. gives the green light to make oil out of anything. Yes, anything. "With minor changes in the agricultural and forestry products... you're looking at five billion barrels of oil per year." (75)
(KNBC) Obvious '99 Cent Only Store To Raise Prices' (67)
(Reuters) Strange Skechers may buy Heelys Inc. for $143 million. Crocs vow to resist ugly-shoes monopolists (18)

Wed August 13, 2008
(The Consumerist) Asinine No, you can't have your seats on the flight that you already paid for 6 months ago. Not yours (50)
(ClusterStock) Interesting How bad is the housing market? A house in Detroit just sold for $1 (74)
(AZCentral) Interesting Honda to release new hybrid model with lower base price than the Prius. Begun, the hybrid wars have (83)
(CNN) PSA BMW announces they have reached the successful heights of GM and Ford by recalling 200,000 vehicles (24)
(Canada.com) Obvious Next up, iPlane (7)
(Real Clear Markets) Interesting Unions are dying, and even a pro-union Obama administration is unlikely to bring them back. Union spokesman was contacted for a response to the article, but he was on break (101)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Followup YouTube isn't getting into the lifecasting business, not matter what Steve Chen says (12)
(ClusterStock) Interesting The ten largest sovereign wealth funds that control enough money to buy up any company in America (22)
(Yahoo) Obvious For those who bought their first house in the past 5-7 years, analysts now predicting resurgence of "down payment" which is some sort of rip-off where they expect you to pay some cash up front. Whateva (300)
(Boston Globe) Spiffy As the economy slows, the traditionally homosexual destination of Provincetown, Mass. is reaching around to straight tourists (34)
(ClusterStock) News Retail sales fall for first time since 01 recession as economy begins to sputter (47)
(BBC) Followup Venezuela lifts basic food prices after discovering you cannot drink oil (12)
(Adrants) Asinine Coca-Cola forbids employees to participate in company's rewards program, then reconsiders, then fires employee who racked up too many rewards points (34)
(Reuters) Interesting Over 33,000 buyers have signed up for the Chevy Volt (118)
(AP) Interesting Best Buy becomes first independent iPhone retailer. "Would you like over-priced Monster cables and an extended service contract with that?" (35)

Tue August 12, 2008
(New York Sun) Amusing Proving that our children are steeply overvalued, NYC Department of Education hires former director of Bear Sterns as new CFO (11)
(WHTM) Interesting Telemarketer: "Ha ha, we will defeat the Do Not Call list by using an Indian call center Suck it, consumer protection statutes" Pennsylvania Attorney General: "Hi, welcome to our state. Here's a $500,000,000 lawsuit." (162)
(ClusterStock) Spiffy Anheuser-Busch offers older employees a buyout package that would finally allow them to buy some quality imported beer (8)
(CNN) Sick Monthly deficit soars to $102,800,000,000. No, that's not the annual deficit -- that's the federal deficit for July. Fiscal responsibility seen weeping in the corner (67)
(Washington Times) Asinine American Airlines supports the troops -- for an extra $300 charge per duffel bag, that is (163)
(Denver Post) Obvious Step 1: Get utility customers to reduce energy consumption. Step 2. Charge customers more for "green." Step 3: Profit (13)
(ClusterStock) Interesting If you thought subprime loans were bad, wait until you see the dreaded "Alt-A"s (24)
(CNN) Asinine GM finally figures out the real source of their problems...trucks that are only 93 percent efficient (56)
(ClusterStock) Amusing After running out of coke and whores, a hedge fund manager tries stand-up comedy to make some extra cash (5)
(Some Straight Dude) Cool Cheech & Chong's career swings match S&P 500. Causation or correlation? (85)
(Rasmussen Reports) Obvious Romero polling agency finds Starbucks coffee is overpriced (39)
(Wall Street Journal) Strange Bonsai cattle catching on with ranchers, although the high-pitched mooing takes some getting used to (123)
(Marketwatch) Interesting Seven reasons America needs a "Good" (not Great) Depression. Submitter is still trying to figure out what's so good or great about a depression (86)
(AP) Obvious Two-thirds of U.S. companies pay zero federal income taxes, claim it's still too much (375)
(ClusterStock) Cool Oil drops to $113 a barrel on news that the Reds are not rebuilding their team (30)
(Forbes) Unlikely If you have funds in Wachovia Bank do not -- repeat, DO NOT -- run down to the bank today to withdraw your funds. Everything is fine. Your money is safe (51)
(Marketwatch) Obvious Japan posts realistic inflation number of 7.1 percent. U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics still fond of "fuzzy math," fear of what cost-of-living adjustments would do to the budget (33)
(Reuters) Interesting Liberty Media to discuss taking over AOL's dial-up Internet access business. Also looking to invest in punch-card terminals, adding machines, electric typewriters (22)

Mon August 11, 2008
(AJC) Weird Price of milk dropping on the news that gas prices are falling too. Wait. What? (18)
(ClusterStock) Interesting Auto exec to GM: go fark yourself, $4 gas wasn't an act of God (43)
(ClusterStock) Interesting Toyota finally finds buyer for all those trucks and SUVs it can't sell in U.S.: China (23)
(Reuters) PSA Buffett biography due out September 29. Come for the lurid details about stepping on a pop-top, stay for the in-depth report on blowing out flip-flop (23)
(ClusterStock) Obvious Wall Street bank analyst bearish on stock of another bank analyst (5)
(Bloomberg) Obvious In today's issue of Closing the Barn Door: Fed says banks are making it harder for businesses and consumers to get loans (11)
(New Scientist) Obvious Why conservatives are happier than liberals: Social and ecomonic inequality doesn't bother them (421)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Scary In advertising terms, the Detroit pile-up is killing TV and print, but it's merely denting online advertising (10)
(ClusterStock) Asinine Princeton economist's dumbass bailout plan... Government buys your old POS car (20)
(ClusterStock) Obvious Wal-Mart and Whole Foods, joined together by their love of the environment (and great PR) (10)
(ClusterStock) Interesting Foreigners bail us out again: Sovereign wealth fund plans to buy billions in foreclosed homes (40)
(CNN) Obvious Oil climbs $2/barrel on news that it had been falling for nearly a month (21)
(Huffington Post) Asinine OPEC nations earned a whopping $645 billion dollars in six months thanks to high oil prices, which is more than they earned between 2000 and 2005 combined (47)
(Reuters) Obvious Secretary Paulson announces that he will not stay at the Treasury after January, adding, "Project Mayhem should be complete by that time" (19)
(MSNBC) Obvious Get ready for exciting new car offerings from brands like Chery, Changfeng and Great Wall. We can assume the latter sells SUVs. In other news, the Chinese are coming (45)
(CNN) Asinine Gas prices take two days to go up $1.00 and a month to drop $0.19 (273)

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