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Sun July 06, 2008
(Marketwatch) Asinine Ethanol is the new reason for spikes in oil prices, according to OPEC (18)
(Dallas News) Interesting You know the economy is bad when Mexicans are returning home (39)
(Buffalo News) Scary Burger King is launching an ad blitz featuring Burger King's son "Little King" designed primarily to make young kids want to eat there. Where is your Grimace now? (27)
(The New York Times) Obvious As more parents decide to raise their children in the city, they are shocked to find that their downstairs neighbors generally don't like the pitter patter of little snowflake feet (79)
(The Register) Weird Google figures out what the meaning of "is" is. Is there anything they can't do? (19)
(The Consumerist) Asinine Maintaining a negative account balance with Sprint? That's a disconnectin' (31)
(USA Today) Obvious Apparently, the rising tidal wave of housing foreclosures will NOT abate just because McCain or Obama wins the election. Wait, you mean one man CAN'T turn an economy on a dime? (108)
(USA Today) Obvious You know your economy sucks when... even members of the Optimists Club use words like "terrified" "disgusted" and "scary" to describe their outlook (75)

Sat July 05, 2008
(ClusterStock) Interesting Who's responsible for $150 oil? Here's a list of the actual villains: (Hint: It doesn't include speculators, Russia, or OPEC) (73)
(MSNBC) Cool GM is considering offering a car in the U.S. that could completely turn things around for them. Let's see how long it takes them to give it the axe (43)
(Biz Journal) Sad Slow economy is not affecting Olive Garden or Red Lobster. Bad taste is recession-proof (81)
(The Earth Times) Obvious Volkswagen to build its new U.S. manufacturing plant in Alabama. Locals plan to entertain visiting executives with fun stories about how grandpappy shot their ancestors in World War 2 (24)
(Newsweek) Obvious The fashion world, in addition to being behind every political assassination of the last 300 years, is also racist (187)
(CBS News) Ironic The People's Republic of California won't enforce million-dollar fine for fear of being "outgunned" in court (14)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Interesting Hey there, are you a wealthy businessman who's thinking about leaving the US to escape high taxes? Think again about your cunning plan (86)
(SFGate) Asinine If you think Facebook is annoying now, wait until you start getting bombarded with Microsoft Office staplers and poked with Slim Jims (15)
(Daily Yomiuri) Obvious Japan panicking over possible introduction of genetically modified soybeans from USA into its tofu, soy sauce, and miso paste (40)
(Some Guy) Interesting In an attempt to fight rising prices at the pump, Maryland city has started using nitrogen to fill the tires on municipal vehicles. Damn inflation (42)
(Bloomberg) Dumbass Canada's second largest bank will take a C$96 million charge because math is hard (9)
(ABC News) Interesting Top 10 most lucrative college majors. Shockingly, 18th-century British Literature nowhere to be found (66)
(London Times) Obvious So it begins. Fuel crisis leads to theft of used cooking oil from fast food joints. Max Rockatansky on the case (13)

Fri July 04, 2008
(The Register) Followup Verisign says we just passed the tipping point (15)
(Marketwatch) Spiffy Gold traders are partying like it's 1980. Which means lots of coke, bad hair and even worse clothes (22)

Thu July 03, 2008
(ABC News) Stupid Chrysler to offer cellular internet access in its cars. Pencil sharpener, soap dispenser canceled at the last moment (40)
(ClusterStock) Scary Morgan Stanley was wrong: oil didn't reach $150 by July 4th...only $145 (60)
(MSNBC) Scary Look at the person to the right of you. Now look at the person to left of you. One of you will be out of a job in six months. Pied Piper no longer accepting IOUs, demands payment (107)
(London Times) Sad Today's forecast calls for a strong Credit Crisis followed by massive bankruptcies and job losses. With continued crappy economic conditions for the foreseeable future. This is Roosevelt E. Roosevelt, signing off (13)

Wed July 02, 2008
(Bloomberg) Interesting If the market worsens, GM could actually go bankrupt. If so, the resulting court case could drag on until the Sun turns red dwarf or Duke Nukem Forever comes out, whichever is first (96)
(Bloomberg) Scary We are now officially in a bear market. Colbert seen readying his shotgun (25)
(CNN) Obvious Netflix is making a pile of cash on news that people don't want to waste expensive gas driving to expensive theatres (99)
(Some Guy) Interesting New Mexico Supreme Court rules arbitration provisions in Dell computer contracts are invalid and unenforceable (33)
(ABC News) Followup Hedge fund fugitive Sam Israel III turns himself in. Suicide is painless, 20 years in PMITA prison... not so much (121)
(Fox Business) Amusing Boss, gas prices are so high... can I get less work to do, more time to do it and higher pay for not getting it done? (27)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions... that'll be $46.72, please pull up to the next window (28)
(AP) Obvious Auto industry has its worst June in 17 years. Subby has to go see a man about a horse (44)
(CNBC) Obvious Blockbuster says it is withdrawing its proposal to buy Circuit City due to "market conditions" (24)
(BBC) Followup We've sent the London Underground janitors on a 48-hour strike. Let's find out if anyone can see the difference (14)
(Bloomberg) Interesting Former Bank of England policy maker says the central bank should avoid raising interest rates to curb inflation as the mortgage market edges close to "a famine'' (4)
(CBS New York) Sad In case you haven't had enough paying $4.69 for gas, milk will soon follow suit (41)

Tue July 01, 2008
(ClusterStock) Followup InBev to Anheuser-Busch: If we have to... we will crush you (34)
(AP) Weird Burger King, hoping to lure more moms into his chambers, unveils new kids' meal consisting of mac and cheese and apple fries (21)
(SeattlePI) NewsFlash Starbucks to close 600 stores in the US. Subby wonders if that includes one of the Starbucks in Houston that is built across the street from a Starbucks (617)
(Guardian.com) Followup 1600 of the Netherlands 750 coffee shops for sale because of new tobacco ban (53)
(MPR) Obvious Wal-Mart guilty of violating Minnesota labor laws two million times. No word on whether that was per day or per hour (61)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Scary Chinese YouTube raises monster cash (9)
(Metro) Strange Rubik's Cube slated to be No. 1 Christmas gift this year. No, this is not a repeat from 1980 (186)
(Fox Business) Interesting U.S. market falling faster than Tara Reid on a Saturday night (110)
(NYPost) Obvious With a ban on hydrogenated oils starting today in NYC, NJ bakers are hoping New Yorkers cross the river to visit the Larden State for their baked goods fix (230)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Interesting Hulu: Big consumer success, but still very small business (14)
(CNBC) PSA Despite their venture into bear country, stocks haven't had a big-volume blowout selloff yet and some on Wall Street aren't happy about it (20)
(Guardian.com) Interesting Chrysler announces plans to close a minivan plant in Missouri, surprising many who didn't know Chrysler still had plants in the U.S. (19)
(The Register) Amusing Dell introduces Windows Vista Bonus package. The bonus is a copy of Windows XP (62)

Mon June 30, 2008
(Wall Street Journal) Unlikely Top three vehicle styles Detroit automakers should build in order to escape certain bankruptcy: (1) 30mpg big minivan; (2) 40mpg cheap midsize sedan; (3) 30mpg man-sized pickup truck (87)
(News.com.au) Obvious Oil prices fall on news that Mini-Me's sex tape has been pulled from circulation (33)
(The Business Sheet) Followup Architect who designed Dubai's rotating skyscraper hasn't designed a skyscraper before but "feels ready to do so." Also, that "honorary doctorate from Columbia University" on his resume? He didn't really mean that (201)
(BusinessWeek) Interesting Good news: High energy costs have made building things in the USA more attractive. Bad news: America's industrial capacity is so withered nobody can take advantage of it (62)
(Domain Name Wire) Asinine GoDaddy VP bidding on and driving up the prices of expired domains the company puts up for auction. Spokesman sees no problem with this (28)
(Spiegel) Strange The United States Federal Reserve Bank faces a general investigation by the International Monetary Fund (58)
(Trading Markets) Obvious Vietnam ranked third in list of top Asia-Pacific nations for business expansion, thanks to rising dong (16)
(C|Net) Obvious VCast to take on iTunes. It's like the cockfight of geeks (31)
(Bloomberg) Interesting They are now digging for oil in Beverly Hills at some upscale mall. No word on how close this is to the Clampett estate (62)
(Some Guy) Asinine British children get to buy cigs and porn. American children still stuck with Spongebob Happy Meal toys (47)
(CNBC) PSA Not even the so-called safety stocks are working right now, Cramer said. It's a classic sign of a true bear market (27)

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