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Sun June 15, 2008
(CNBC) Asinine In a special report for CNBC.com, Fourth of July travel expected to decline. Also, "staycation" has quickly embedded itself in the American lexicon (25)
(Some Guy) Obvious McDonald's to charge customers different prices depending where in the country they live. What a load of McCrap (54)
(AP) Obvious Punishing petrol prices pitilessly pinch postal professions (7)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting A somewhat surprising effect of rising oil prices: manufacturing is being returned to America, as the soaring costs of transporting goods from China and other countries negates the savings in labor costs from sending manufacturing jobs there (39)
(Baltimore Sun) Obvious All of the major airlines are headed for bankruptcy because their boards decided to drink their way through business school. Southwest elated by the news. You'll fly Southwest, because you have to (46)
(Financial Times) Dumbass The Group of Eight finance ministers concluded on Saturday that they have absolutely no idea how the commodity market works. So, we've got that going for us. Which is nice (23)
(MDN) Amusing Maker of "Hello Kitty" creates sequel: a pair of female fairy friends who live in a cherry forest (23)

Sat June 14, 2008
(AP) Obvious "The worst may be behind for Wall Street - or not." Hard hitting reporting from the Associated Press - or not (42)
(Boston Globe) Spiffy Finally some good news: Expensive gas means fewer teenage drivers (78)
(CBS News) Dumbass Welcome to Walgreens. How can we screw you today? (33)
(Financial Times) Obvious AIG, the world's largest insurance company will hold an emergency meeting to oust their CEO Martin Sullivan (11)
(Bloomberg) Unlikely Alan Greenspan removes any doubt of his senility by proclaiming that financial markets have shown a "pronounced turnaround'' since March. Old age is sad, mmmkay (14)
(FLEXNEWS) Strange French health minister vows to ban Red Bull in France if evidence of its "noxious effects" can be found (21)
(Honolulu Advertiser) Hero Judge denies $600K golden parachute for CEO of bankrupt airline (22)

Fri June 13, 2008
(CNN) Obvious Toyota promises a plug-in hybrid by 2010, Ford and GM sit quietly with their mouthes hanging open and drool spilling out (78)
(Financial Sense University) Scary "People do not fully appreciate what we are witnessing in the markets right now. This week and last could very well be a historic landmark in the unfolding economic crisis." Bonus: "Star Trek II" analogy used for perspective (65)
(Denon) Unlikely Tired of your crappy old ordinary ethernet cables? This one will change your life, for only $499 (79)
(Ars Technica) Unlikely AT&T: Termination fees are ultimately a great deal for consumers (136)
(CBS Miami) Weird Foreclosures spike, inflation jumps, naturally the stock market cras... wait, what? (29)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Interesting Politicians oppose Belgian company's bid to buy American beer maker, call up execs at Belgian company and ask "Anheuser-Busch?" before hanging up and laughing (16)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Interesting Legendary raider Carl Icahn reeling after big Yahoo bet loses $120 million (27)
(CNN) Asinine Foreclosure filings jump 48 percent. You're doing a heckuva job there, Bernanke (70)
(ClusterStock) Followup Fraudster hedge-fund manager said he didn't kill himself because he didn't want to set a bad example for his son. So he faked his own death and fled the country instead (44)
(Independent) Dumbass Step 1: Purchase YouTube for $1.65 billion. Step 2: Attract hundreds of millions of viewers daily. Step 3: ??? (22)
(Philly) Asinine U.S. Airways to charge $2 for non-alcoholic beverages on flights, considering replacing flight attendants with vending machines (62)
(Reuters) Obvious Pharmaceutical companies slash R&D spending, delaying a cure for restless leg syndrome for years (24)
(CNN) Obvious ExxonMobil, who earned $41 billion last year, plans to sell all gas stations because they aren't profitable (28)
(The Register) Stupid From the "Who Could Possibly Have Seen This Coming" Department: Mysterious Skype charges appearing on PayPal accounts. A+++++, would call again (9)
(Something Awful) Amusing The seven worst corporate mascots ever. "In the interest of fairness to the Noid, we should acknowledge that his job was to sell the pizza equivalent of bed bugs" (63)
(judicialwatch.org) Asinine WaMu shows some heart and unforecloses on a politician's house so she would have a third place to live. The guy who bought it, painted it, laid tile and landscaped told to GTFO (40)
(CNBC) Followup Anheuser-Busch in talks with Mexican brewery to thwart a takeover attempt from the evil Belgians. El Budweiser mas fina (14)
(Bloomberg) Obvious Reverse mortgages might be a way for savvy financial companies to part the elderly from their home/life savings. O'RLY? (30)
(Time) Unlikely Farmers vs. fish -- LET THE SMACKDOWN BEGIN (19)

Thu June 12, 2008
(Valleywag) Interesting Tech's 10 worst-rated CEOs, according to their employees (25)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Analyst paints rosy picture for real estate agents. Dude, please stop huffing the paint (13)
(Uptake.com) Amusing Wanted: Facebook Secretary. Duties: Send fake beers and mass hug all "friends," spam Super Wall with cat videos, weed out attention whores (8)
(The Street) Interesting The on again off again Yahoo Microsoft deal is officially off, with Google about to come away the big winner (16)
(Bloomberg) Obvious So it begins. United matches American's $15 baggage fee. Thankfully, Americans can switch to high-speed rail when visiting grandma. Oh, wait (79)
(KHOU-TV) Dumbass If you try to cash one of Wal-Mart's money orders at Wal-Mart, they'll have you arrested for fraud, then send you a bill when you prove their authenticity (106)
(The Morning Call) Scary Kraft adds more anus to hot dog recipe to make them zestier, meatier (371)
(BBC) Stupid Travelers will soon be able to get bitter, overpriced coffee at airports and railway stations throughout Europe. What? They can already do that? Ok, never mind then (19)
(Fox Business) Stupid FoxNews gives us five outdated models to become rich quick on the internet. Also, they want you to see their low V1@G@R@ PRç3$ (12)
(Pharma Live) Obvious Pharmaceutical industry faces tremendous growth on the news Americans will take any pill they're told will fix whatever problem they think they have (51)
(Wall Street Journal) Stupid Homeowners are now buying nicer, cheaper homes, then letting the first one go back to the bank to get out of an oppressive mortgage (91)
(USA Today) Sad State Farm, you're doing a heckuva job (60)
(CNN) Unlikely What is wrong with Amtrak? Nothing $15 billion won't fix (179)

Wed June 11, 2008
(Some Heineken Guy) Interesting InBev makes unsolicited $65/share bid for Budweiser. Submitter still thinks the stuff is overpriced at $3 (41)
(Some Guy) Obvious In these uncertain economic times, irate DirecTV subscribers are turning to local TV investigators to get out of the $300 early cancellation fee (13)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Lawyer fabricates documents, Microsoft/Best Buy racketeering case starts over (12)
(Canadian HR Reporter) Interesting Stripper shortage forces Ontario clubs to get creative, hire newfies (264)
(Network World) Dumbass "Free software" scammers out $2.2 million (20)
(Houston Chronicle) Obvious Vegas sees gambling revenue decling as hard-core gamblers find a new home with commodities and real estate (12)
(Radar Magazine) Interesting Executive that Martha Stewart cloned from her own stem cells steps down as CEO of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia Global Envelopment World Overlord Incorporated (pic) (3)
(EFF) Amusing MPAA now suspects that even your laser printer is illegally downloading films (21)
(CPSC.GOV) Amusing QVC recalls the Topsy-Turvy Tomato Planter stand because some consumers had it fall on them. It's not called 'Topsy-Turvy' for nothing, morans (9)
(Some Guy Who Hates Jerks) Obvious Think it's okay to treat people who serve you like trash? This guy (er... gal) would like a word (1211)
(Fox Business) Followup Yahoo fights back as Carl Icahn throws another tantrum. The romper room fight for control of the search engine enters a new phase (8)
(Chicago Tribune) Asinine According to Lee Vince, Hummer Sales Manager, Hummer sales fall due to lack of patriotism: "Americans in general need to take a look at what makes America great." (65)
(CNBC) Cool Jim Cramer has found even more "new-tech" stocks for us to look over (21)
(Some Guy) Misc Apple responds to internet rumors about Steve Jobs' health by saying he's got a "common bug." Still no cure for cancer (71)
(London Times) Stupid Milk bags hit Britain, and not the fun ones (89)
(CNN) Obvious Subprime mortgages were just the beginning, stay tuned for prime mortage and auto loan failures. The originators got their bonus check. Where's yours? (43)

Tue June 10, 2008
(Forbes) Amusing Forbes Fictional 15. Turns out that neither Bruce Wayne nor Tony Stark can keep up with Ritchie Rich (49)
(Some Guy) Cool Google now offers a "skip intro" option with search results. Flash designers worldwide despondent, start looking for real jobs (45)
(AP) Scary Verizon, Sprint, and Time Warner agree to block all websites and forums they deem spreads "child porn" (60)
(Winding Road) Cool In response to global warming and spiralling fuel prices, GM unveils 556-horsepower V-8 Cadillac CTS-V. (With 'Heart trumps head' tag) (45)
(BusinessWeek) Spiffy In yet another example of reality following "The Simpsons", California's economy set to receive a boost from thousands of totally fabulous gay weddings (24)
(The Consumerist) Scary Wal-Mart goes toe-to-toe with Craigslist by offering free online ads of their own. Yeah, this should end well (22)
(Wall Street Journal) Dumbass Convicted hedge fund swindler was supposed to report to prison yesterday. Instead, police found his car on a high bridge with "suicide is painless" written on the car. Wherever could he be? (80)
(ClusterStock) Interesting Like $4 gas and $135 oil? Just wait until oil hits $250, as Russia's gas company Gazprom just predicted it will (56)
(Jalopnik) Interesting Ford to kill off its Mercury brand by 2012. At least Lincoln/Mercury dealers have the strong sales of Lincoln to fall back on, what with the popularity of the Navigator and -- what's that, $4 gas? Aw, nuts... (59)
(CNN) Obvious Housing Crisis 90210: "Places like Beverly Hills, Calif. and Greenwich, Conn. have been hit by steep price declines, and a jump in foreclosures." Nanotchnology experts working diligently on appropriate violin (21)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting U.S. News & World Report, reporting that they're not dead yet, will become a biweekly, offline publication and transform itself into an online service (12)
(SeattlePI) Amusing Chief executive of Microsoft predicts the demise of the American newspaper. Newspaper responds by predicting they will be printing Microsoft's obit on their pages one day (14)
(Livenews) Stupid This airline is taking budget to a new extreme: Charging passengers to talk to the staff (13)
(MSNBC) Scary How the "American Dream" became a national nightmare: The role of the U.S. government in creating the housing crisis. Fortunately, you get to pay for this disaster. Lucky you (71)
(I wish I hadn't looked) Interesting How the United States Air Force alone is consuming so much oil, they could be increasing the price while bankrupting the government (101)
(Yahoo) Ironic Bush considering intervening in world currency market to support dollar. Fark: The last U.S. intervention was in 2000, to support the weak euro (28)

Mon June 09, 2008
(The Consumerist) Dumbass Walmart raises the stakes in the "let me see your receipt before you leave" battle, writes down customer's license plate number and files police report (104)
(CNN) Unlikely Today from the department of made-up facts: Americans on average spend 99.8 cents for every dollar that's left after paying taxes (24)
(NWCN) Dumbass Woman on Weight Watcher's sues Chili's because its "diet" menu items have much more fat and calories than advertised (288)
(CBS Baltimore) Silly Ocean City, MD ran a $1 million advertising campaign predicting that the ocean is evaporating, EVERYBODY PANIC (15)
(Yahoo) Obvious "When people hear about Myanmar, it's about political repression and now the cyclone. It doesn't matter how much the government promotes its lovely beaches" (10)
(BusinessWeek) Strange Two Indian automakers reportedly in competition to buy Hummer brand from GM, expect to market vehicles to members of India's large wallet, small penis castes (11)
(MSNBC) Obvious Magic 8 ball, will the airlines announce yet another across-the-board hike in airfares this week? *shake* *shake* *shake* "Signs point to yes" (9)
(CNN) Spiffy NJ lawmakers considering plans to allow beer and wine sales in grocery stores. Next thing you know, they'll allow drivers to pump their own gas (37)
(CNN) Asinine Home sales drop 13 percent from last year. Go ahead, guess the spintastic headline (183)
(WGAL 8) Obvious Through the eons, slipping its way between the sands of time, an age-old question finally makes its way to the Internet: Can you really get a healthy meal at Wendy's? (42)
(Bloomberg) PSA McDonald's same store sales rose 7.7 percent in May, driven by demand from customers in the UK, France and Australia (15)
(CNN) Obvious Saudi thinks gas prices are too high... sort of like college students saying beer is too cheap (215)
(Globe and Mail) Interesting Lack of support has sales of "Super Bra" sagging. Not the most uplifting story for a Monday (13)
(Boston Globe) Obvious The percentage of car buyers not buying hybrids may drop as low as 96 percent this year in the Boston area (75)
(Bloomberg) Dumbass Lehman Brothers announces that they lost $2.8 billion in the second quarter, wonders if you'll lend them another $6 billion to double down (14)
(Palm Beach Post) Obvious More Americans getting dual citizenship as U.S. economy declines. Newly American-Israeli subby wrote this from his nice apartment in Tel Aviv (98)

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