Steve Jobs expected to add a blue button to the iPhone that will drain cash directly from your bank account. Won't that be awesome	(5)
		The Denver Post answers the question you've asked yourself for years: what's up with the 9/10 cent tacked onto the price of a gallon of gas? (w/ "dude wtf" pic)	(20)
		It will take HOW LONG for my hybrid to pay for itself in fuel savings??	(97)
		eBayer Wins $50 Target Gift Card at a bid of $55	(34)
(Some Guy)		Reporter uncovers a secret connection between the housing collapse and property values. It's not news, it's The Tacoma News Tribune	(10)
		Did your financial advisor get you into auction-rate securities as a safe investment? Congratulations, you have the most expensive wallpaper in town	(19)

		Necktie trade group closes it's doors, fewer companies make them, fewer men wear them	(89)
		The Washington Post's take on the new millennial graduates: They're loud, They're proud and they're ... more qualified than any other generation alive was?	(187)
		Verizon charges fee for cash payments. No word on fee for paying fee in cash. No word on fee for paying fee for paying fee fee in cash. etc	(44)
(The Oil Drum)		Deregulation failure 101: Why nationalizing and modernizing the national energy grid is the only way forward	(78)
		Type II diabetics have been stabbing themselves in the finger every day for nothing. If you call pharmaceutical profits nothing, that is	(26)
		Overstock CEO Patrick Byrne is still completely insane and highly entertaining	(7)
		Despite the hatred most people automatically dispense on large corporations without due consideration, the Verizon-Alltel merger is a boon for customers	(20)
		Starbucks was all "ok, sure", then AT&T said "sweet", but then T-Mobile said, "oh no you din't"	(12)
		Apple comes in second in U.S. smartphone sales and third worldwide. Crackberry is a hell of a drug	(46)
		UPS drivers train for future reverse NASCAR series	(3)

		The CEO of a company that has turned an annual profit only once in 14 years rated best CEO on Wall Street	(17)
(Black Jack Purist)		Today's misuse of the phrase "doubling down" brought to you by Business Week	(12)
		Fark joked about, but CNN actually said it: "Oil prices shot up [because of] a forecast that oil would hit $150 by July 4."	(441)
		Oil at record high, Dow down more than 300 points, sky falling. Nothing to see here	(149)
(Some Guy)		Investors find out what the Trump name is really worth	(203)
		Last week: Consumer spending is up, factory orders are up, EVERYBODY CELEBRATE. Today: Unemployment up 0.5 percent, EVERYBODY PANIC	(185)
		General Motors CEO's brilliant defense of the American car industry: Not the only morons around here. (Japan builds gas-guzzling land yachts, too.)	(70)
		How to track the Google founders' $15 million party plane from the comfort of your own hovel	(15)
(NYTimes Dealbook)		Zagat Survey is no longer "for sale"; useful after the "advent of the internets"	(5)
		Ford to cut 15 percent of its work force by August 1. U.S. airline industry asks, "Is that all?"	(57)
		Oil prices rise to almost $130 a barrel because a man in France mentioned it was possible that he maybe sort of kind of could raise interest rates in Europe. Maybe	(75)
		The euro rises against the dollar again. Bernanke protests, complains that he "really, really believes" in a strong dollar	(16)
		Economy let go of 58,000 jobs in May. $300 checks now seen as a severance package	(29)
(Some Guy)		If you are a true believer in Chick-fil-A's food because it's like manna from heaven to you and can miraculously cure your hunger, it's all part of the owner's divine plan to make a prophet	(55)
		Barclay bank joins the Coalition of the Willing™. Persian rugs and cashews set for rampant price increases	(4)

		Economic bad times are hurting the uber rich..."the wealthy are cutting back on luxuries like $350 highlights and $10,000-an-hour jet rentals." EVERYBODY PANIC	(344)
		AA claims that bag fee will affect few travelers. Fails to mention people are not flying anymore as the reason why	(20)
		The pilot was forced to don an oxygen mask due to the "marijuana smoke and fumes."	(22)
		Oil prices rise five percent because the dollar fell .01 percent. Do they just make this stuff up?	(30)
		News: Broadcom co-founder charged with conspiracy and securities fraud related to options backdating. Fark: And conspiracy to distribute and acquire controlled substances	(12)
		Old and busted: Bill Gates founding Microsoft in a garage. New hotness: Indian immigrants founding $700 million metals-trading business in a cow shed	(22)
		Fed intervention to calm financial market panic runs a risk of encouraging more reckless behavior and may make matters worse in the future	(20)
		When gas prices go up, Americans whine a lot but deal with it. In India and Malaysia, they get burny	(170)
		Initial jobless claims decreased by 18,000 to 357,000 in the last week of May, the lowest level in more than a month	(68)
		Verizon Wireless agrees to buy Alltel for $28.1 billion. Chad is inconsolable	(44)
		Federal Reserve leader reassures anxious country: Does not see economy and market collapsing for two decades like Japan	(14)
		Senators are concerned that foreign investment groups may be trying to buy up American railways, which obviously would mean that we're all going to die	(47)
		One way or another, Comcast is always robbing you	(83)
(Tacoma News-Tribune)		Who knew all it took to resurrect the American passenger train was $4-per-gallon gas?	(71)
		Oil falls below $122 on news of Red Wings victory	(35)
		Hallmark unveils its new pink slip line	(10)
		Remember that Brazilian oil discovery that would solve everything? Yeah, it'll cost $240,000,000,000 to extract. Oops?	(64)

		Microsoft to businesses, "Switch to Vista NOW" Businesses to Microsoft, "ESAD"	(99)
		Verizon in talks to acquire Alltel for $27 billion. Can you pay me now?	(27)
		GM CEO steps out of the 1970's and says high gas prices are here to stay	(45)
		In the face of declining income, American's are saving more. And that's bad, really really bad	(190)
		FedEx to rename Kinko's as "FedEx Office". Crappy, dumbfounded service not expected to change	(32)
		Smuckers to buy Folgers. "Because with a name like Fluckers..."	(41)
		In Japan, Management hold themselves responsible for company performance. In US, Management just lays off some 1200 employees. America: FARK YEAH	(28)
(Some Guy)		London Times financial page runs list of top ten Star Wars collectibles. Your bent Wookie still not worth Bantha poodoo	(63)
		United Airlines has begun slashing jobs and nixing airplanes in an attempt to save money. CEO and Board Members get increase to their already multi-million dollar Bonuses for doing such a great job at saving money	(51)
		As America plunges into the ninth layer of credit hell, what are her denizens doing? "CHARGE IT."	(75)
		Cars outsell trucks for the first time since 1992	(59)

		You know the housing market has officially tanked when developers are offering 'buy one, get one free'	(25)
		Mexican fashion takes a new twist: bulletproof business suits and biker jackets that can stop a .44 magnum	(96)
		Upstart CEO, speaking to venture capitalists: "There simply is no outlet on the Internet today where users can seek celebrity gossip in a social networking environment"	(17)
		Financial advisors say the No. 1 mistake people make with estate planning is that they don't get around to doing it	(46)
		Cheesecake Factory to create new pan-Asian-themed restaurant chain that takes reservations and serves tofu cheesecake	(20)
		Bernanke tells Wall Street what he can make of the economy... a hat, a broach, even a pterodactyl	(26)
		Bring on the bells and whistles: Now that more and more people are starting to realize that its coffee actually does suck, Starbucks starts offering free Wi-Fi as consolation	(53)
		General Motors to stop production at four truck plants in North America because you're not being patriotic and buying oversized, gas-guzzling SUVs	(443)
		Airlines are considering treating passengers "as freight" to combat rising fuel costs. Wait, they don't already?	(200)
		Airline industry, the welfare queen of the business world, begs for help -- again	(32)
		Coors Light may soon have the same "hint of raw sewage" flavor as Miller Lite	(29)
		GM to other car companies: Please buy the Hummer, it's embarrassing to have around	(56)
(Some Guy)		Study finds most people overestimate their credit quality. So if you are one of those people, now you know you are not a loan	(29)
		Study suggests that in-game ads are effective and gamers like them. In related news, IT ONLY COSTS FIVE DOLLARS A MONTH FOR A TOTALFARK SUBSCRIPTION, THE ULTIMATE IN ONLINE AWESOMENESS	(32)
		Time Warner to meter Internet use. Everybody panic. No, seriously EVERYBODY PANIC	(135)

		This is CNNMSNBC	(16)
		Great jobs that pay "pretty well". No, your job is not on the list	(309)
		Credit Card reward programs are a rip-off	(117)
		Wachovia's Board to CEO: "You're fired."	(19)
		Best Buy's new recycling program now takes your old broken electronics, completing the circle which begins when you purchase new broken electronics from Best Buy	(23)
		Nanny State about to mandate that cigarette makers sell their cancer sticks in plain white packaging, killing brand identity and reviving the 80s shopping experience	(34)
		Do you expect me to sell? No, Mr. Asset-Backed Bond, I expect you to die	(25)
		"Dude, where's my recession?"	(57)
		Oil drops below $127 on the news of a chainletter going around declaring June 15 national no-gas day, so like totally don't buy gas on June 15th and you'll like make stuff happen	(33)
		South Korea leads the world in longest hours worked; US continues to lead in longest hours pretending to work	(26)
		Treasury Secretary Paulson supports a strong dollar "very strongly." Which is a little better than "strongly" and much better than just "supports," but not as good as "very strongly with sugar on top."	(69)
		The success of your business deals is relative to the type of biscuit you give your prospective clients	(16)
		Old and busted: Drug and prostitution rackets. New hotness: Egg profiteering	(8)
		Why the US dollar will rebound, and why you can kiss the Euro goodbye	(42)