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Sun June 08, 2008
(London Times) Cool Steve Jobs expected to add a blue button to the iPhone that will drain cash directly from your bank account. Won't that be awesome (5)
(Denver Post) Interesting The Denver Post answers the question you've asked yourself for years: what's up with the 9/10 cent tacked onto the price of a gallon of gas? (w/ "dude wtf" pic) (20)
(Sun Sentinel) Interesting It will take HOW LONG for my hybrid to pay for itself in fuel savings?? (97)
(The Consumerist) Dumbass eBayer Wins $50 Target Gift Card at a bid of $55 (34)
(Some Guy) Obvious Reporter uncovers a secret connection between the housing collapse and property values. It's not news, it's The Tacoma News Tribune (10)
(Bloomberg) Sad Did your financial advisor get you into auction-rate securities as a safe investment? Congratulations, you have the most expensive wallpaper in town (19)

Sat June 07, 2008
(USA Today) Sad Necktie trade group closes it's doors, fewer companies make them, fewer men wear them (89)
(Washington Post) Strange The Washington Post's take on the new millennial graduates: They're loud, They're proud and they're ... more qualified than any other generation alive was? (187)
(The Consumerist) Stupid Verizon charges fee for cash payments. No word on fee for paying fee in cash. No word on fee for paying fee for paying fee fee in cash. etc (44)
(The Oil Drum) Interesting Deregulation failure 101: Why nationalizing and modernizing the national energy grid is the only way forward (78)
(Seattle Times) Interesting Type II diabetics have been stabbing themselves in the finger every day for nothing. If you call pharmaceutical profits nothing, that is (26)
(The Register) Amusing Overstock CEO Patrick Byrne is still completely insane and highly entertaining (7)
(C|Net) Interesting Despite the hatred most people automatically dispense on large corporations without due consideration, the Verizon-Alltel merger is a boon for customers (20)
(Reuters) Silly Starbucks was all "ok, sure", then AT&T said "sweet", but then T-Mobile said, "oh no you din't" (12)
(Washington Post) Interesting Apple comes in second in U.S. smartphone sales and third worldwide. Crackberry is a hell of a drug (46)
(9 News) Spiffy UPS drivers train for future reverse NASCAR series (3)

Fri June 06, 2008
(Yahoo) Obvious The CEO of a company that has turned an annual profit only once in 14 years rated best CEO on Wall Street (17)
(Black Jack Purist) Stupid Today's misuse of the phrase "doubling down" brought to you by Business Week (12)
(CNN) Obvious Fark joked about, but CNN actually said it: "Oil prices shot up [because of] a forecast that oil would hit $150 by July 4." (441)
(Bloomberg) PSA Oil at record high, Dow down more than 300 points, sky falling. Nothing to see here (149)
(Some Guy) Florida Investors find out what the Trump name is really worth (203)
(CNN) PSA Last week: Consumer spending is up, factory orders are up, EVERYBODY CELEBRATE. Today: Unemployment up 0.5 percent, EVERYBODY PANIC (185)
(ClusterStock) Interesting General Motors CEO's brilliant defense of the American car industry: Not the only morons around here. (Japan builds gas-guzzling land yachts, too.) (70)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Cool How to track the Google founders' $15 million party plane from the comfort of your own hovel (15)
(NYTimes Dealbook) Obvious Zagat Survey is no longer "for sale"; useful after the "advent of the internets" (5)
(Detroit News) Sad Ford to cut 15 percent of its work force by August 1. U.S. airline industry asks, "Is that all?" (57)
(AP) Asinine Oil prices rise to almost $130 a barrel because a man in France mentioned it was possible that he maybe sort of kind of could raise interest rates in Europe. Maybe (75)
(CNN) Stupid The euro rises against the dollar again. Bernanke protests, complains that he "really, really believes" in a strong dollar (16)
(News.com.au) Scary Economy let go of 58,000 jobs in May. $300 checks now seen as a severance package (29)
(Some Guy) Interesting If you are a true believer in Chick-fil-A's food because it's like manna from heaven to you and can miraculously cure your hunger, it's all part of the owner's divine plan to make a prophet (55)
(London Times) Stupid Barclay bank joins the Coalition of the Willing™. Persian rugs and cashews set for rampant price increases (4)

Thu June 05, 2008
(The New York Times) Asinine Economic bad times are hurting the uber rich..."the wealthy are cutting back on luxuries like $350 highlights and $10,000-an-hour jet rentals." EVERYBODY PANIC (344)
(Yahoo) Followup AA claims that bag fee will affect few travelers. Fails to mention people are not flying anymore as the reason why (20)
(The Smoking Gun) Hero The pilot was forced to don an oxygen mask due to the "marijuana smoke and fumes." (22)
(CNN) Asinine Oil prices rise five percent because the dollar fell .01 percent. Do they just make this stuff up? (30)
(Wall Street Journal) Dumbass News: Broadcom co-founder charged with conspiracy and securities fraud related to options backdating. Fark: And conspiracy to distribute and acquire controlled substances (12)
(Daily Mail) Hero Old and busted: Bill Gates founding Microsoft in a garage. New hotness: Indian immigrants founding $700 million metals-trading business in a cow shed (22)
(CNBC) Ironic Fed intervention to calm financial market panic runs a risk of encouraging more reckless behavior and may make matters worse in the future (20)
(AP) Interesting When gas prices go up, Americans whine a lot but deal with it. In India and Malaysia, they get burny (170)
(Bloomberg) Cool Initial jobless claims decreased by 18,000 to 357,000 in the last week of May, the lowest level in more than a month (68)
(Wired) Followup Verizon Wireless agrees to buy Alltel for $28.1 billion. Chad is inconsolable (44)
(ClusterStock) Interesting Federal Reserve leader reassures anxious country: Does not see economy and market collapsing for two decades like Japan (14)
(USA Today) Stupid Senators are concerned that foreign investment groups may be trying to buy up American railways, which obviously would mean that we're all going to die (47)
(The Consumerist) Strange One way or another, Comcast is always robbing you (83)
(Tacoma News-Tribune) Obvious Who knew all it took to resurrect the American passenger train was $4-per-gallon gas? (71)
(Reuters) Spiffy Oil falls below $122 on news of Red Wings victory (35)
(Forbes) Sad Hallmark unveils its new pink slip line (10)
(Bloomberg) Sad Remember that Brazilian oil discovery that would solve everything? Yeah, it'll cost $240,000,000,000 to extract. Oops? (64)

Wed June 04, 2008
(C|Net) Asinine Microsoft to businesses, "Switch to Vista NOW" Businesses to Microsoft, "ESAD" (99)
(CNBC) Scary Verizon in talks to acquire Alltel for $27 billion. Can you pay me now? (27)
(USA Today) Obvious GM CEO steps out of the 1970's and says high gas prices are here to stay (45)
(Reuters) Stupid In the face of declining income, American's are saving more. And that's bad, really really bad (190)
(The Consumerist) Spiffy FedEx to rename Kinko's as "FedEx Office". Crappy, dumbfounded service not expected to change (32)
(MSNBC) Interesting Smuckers to buy Folgers. "Because with a name like Fluckers..." (41)
(CNN) Sad In Japan, Management hold themselves responsible for company performance. In US, Management just lays off some 1200 employees. America: FARK YEAH (28)
(Some Guy) Amusing London Times financial page runs list of top ten Star Wars collectibles. Your bent Wookie still not worth Bantha poodoo (63)
(Seattle Times) Asinine United Airlines has begun slashing jobs and nixing airplanes in an attempt to save money. CEO and Board Members get increase to their already multi-million dollar Bonuses for doing such a great job at saving money (51)
(CNBC) Sad As America plunges into the ninth layer of credit hell, what are her denizens doing? "CHARGE IT." (75)
(AP) Interesting Cars outsell trucks for the first time since 1992 (59)

Tue June 03, 2008
(Reuters) Spiffy You know the housing market has officially tanked when developers are offering 'buy one, get one free' (25)
(NPR) Interesting Mexican fashion takes a new twist: bulletproof business suits and biker jackets that can stop a .44 magnum (96)
(C|Net) Unlikely Upstart CEO, speaking to venture capitalists: "There simply is no outlet on the Internet today where users can seek celebrity gossip in a social networking environment" (17)
(CNBC) Obvious Financial advisors say the No. 1 mistake people make with estate planning is that they don't get around to doing it (46)
(Seattle Times) Amusing Cheesecake Factory to create new pan-Asian-themed restaurant chain that takes reservations and serves tofu cheesecake (20)
(CBS Miami) Interesting Bernanke tells Wall Street what he can make of the economy... a hat, a broach, even a pterodactyl (26)
(USA Today) Amusing Bring on the bells and whistles: Now that more and more people are starting to realize that its coffee actually does suck, Starbucks starts offering free Wi-Fi as consolation (53)
(Reuters) Obvious General Motors to stop production at four truck plants in North America because you're not being patriotic and buying oversized, gas-guzzling SUVs (443)
(Bloomberg) Sad Airlines are considering treating passengers "as freight" to combat rising fuel costs. Wait, they don't already? (200)
(Wired) Obvious Airline industry, the welfare queen of the business world, begs for help -- again (32)
(JSOnline) Obvious Coors Light may soon have the same "hint of raw sewage" flavor as Miller Lite (29)
(ClusterStock) Sad GM to other car companies: Please buy the Hummer, it's embarrassing to have around (56)
(Some Guy) Obvious Study finds most people overestimate their credit quality. So if you are one of those people, now you know you are not a loan (29)
(Kotaku) Interesting Study suggests that in-game ads are effective and gamers like them. In related news, IT ONLY COSTS FIVE DOLLARS A MONTH FOR A TOTALFARK SUBSCRIPTION, THE ULTIMATE IN ONLINE AWESOMENESS (32)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Time Warner to meter Internet use. Everybody panic. No, seriously EVERYBODY PANIC (135)

Mon June 02, 2008
(Newsweek) Stupid This is CNNMSNBC (16)
(CNN) Amusing Great jobs that pay "pretty well". No, your job is not on the list (309)
(CNN) Obvious Credit Card reward programs are a rip-off (117)
(Fox Business) Interesting Wachovia's Board to CEO: "You're fired." (19)
(AP) Ironic Best Buy's new recycling program now takes your old broken electronics, completing the circle which begins when you purchase new broken electronics from Best Buy (23)
(Reuters) Strange Nanny State about to mandate that cigarette makers sell their cancer sticks in plain white packaging, killing brand identity and reviving the 80s shopping experience (34)
(Bloomberg) Obvious Do you expect me to sell? No, Mr. Asset-Backed Bond, I expect you to die (25)
(National Review) Interesting "Dude, where's my recession?" (57)
(AP) Interesting Oil drops below $127 on the news of a chainletter going around declaring June 15 national no-gas day, so like totally don't buy gas on June 15th and you'll like make stuff happen (33)
(Forbes) Obvious South Korea leads the world in longest hours worked; US continues to lead in longest hours pretending to work (26)
(Bloomberg) Dumbass Treasury Secretary Paulson supports a strong dollar "very strongly." Which is a little better than "strongly" and much better than just "supports," but not as good as "very strongly with sugar on top." (69)
(Lancashire Evening Post) Interesting The success of your business deals is relative to the type of biscuit you give your prospective clients (16)
(Daily Mail) Strange Old and busted: Drug and prostitution rackets. New hotness: Egg profiteering (8)
(Marketwatch) Unlikely Why the US dollar will rebound, and why you can kiss the Euro goodbye (42)

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