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Sun May 25, 2008
(Silicon Alley Insider) Asinine Whole Foods CEO, banned from blogging after being outed as an anonymous Yahoo Finance poster, is back on the Web. And not sorry about what he did (10)
(Daily Mail) Scary Coca-Cola to phase out controversial chemical linked to hyperactivity and gene damage. Cokeheads expected to demand return to "Classic Coke" within six months (36)
(Some Guy at the DOT) Cool Americans drove 11,000,000,000 fewer miles in March 2007 than March 2006. Cutting out unnecessary trips to Mars making a big difference (19)
(The Consumerist) Obvious Applebees hot fudge sundae menu picture versus reality (67)
(AP) Interesting Better get that loan now - interest rates have officially gone as low as they are going to, at least according to the Fed. And this time, they mean it (15)
(Reuters) Scary Warren Buffet sees long, deep U.S. recession, the rest of us feel it long and deep (37)
(Occifer.com) Cool High gas prices force cops to walk the beat (61)
(Washington Post) Obvious Not content with raping you at the pump, ExxonMobil plans to give you a UFIA for your Ho-Ho and beef jerky purchases. How crude (23)

Sat May 24, 2008
(Denver Post) Weird In the continuing trend of airlines beating up on the the average Joe, Frontier Airlines will now charge extra when you check in antlers (43)
(Marketwatch) Obvious Good News: During the recession, one firm is still hiring. Bad News: It's the FDIC, preparing for more than 150 bank failures (40)
(SeattlePI) Silly Starbucks wants Rollergirls logo changed because it looks too circular (23)
(The Consumerist) Obvious Your cable company may be ripping you off. In other news, the sun may be hot, water may be wet, and that email from a Nigerian prince asking for your bank account information may be a scam (24)
(RCR News) Obvious Wireless carriers launch intensive project into how to improve customer service. Not mentioned: Providing accurate bills, easy-to-read rate plans, clear terms, accurate coverage maps, reliable service, decent equipment, customer-friendly stores (49)
(USA Today) Interesting Halliburton bidding $3.4 billion for Expro, which is the first time in years Halliburton actually bid on something (10)
(Komo) Sad Gas prices are so high seniors can't afford to ram farmer's markets (14)
(USA Today) Interesting Maker of Beck's rumored to be buying Anheuser-Busch, plans to show Budweiser brewers how to make beer (41)

Fri May 23, 2008
(Some Guy) Followup Vallejo, CA files for bankruptcy. Let the good times roll (166)
(Wall Street Journal) Dumbass AP writer who has loudly, confidently and repeatedly announced we're in a recession now notes that it's kind of hard to tell when a recession ends (10)
(CNBC) Unlikely Despite all evidence, the U.S. Treasury Secretary says the current oil price bubble is not the result of market speculation. Then he jumped in his Kansas State Fair hot air balloon and returned back over the rainbow (39)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Interesting Raise the Titanic: New York Times offers time machine to readers, is still screwed (12)
(ClusterStock) Ironic Quick: What's the world's best-performing foreign-exchange currency? If you guessed the Iraqi Dinar, you get a cookie (39)
(Some Guy) Amusing Mortgage assistance legislation contains provisions to fingerprint mortgage lenders. Unfortunately, they'll have to dust the inside of your colon for evidence (17)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Interesting Microsoft reveals full details of secret plan to kill Google (21)
(Toronto Star) Stupid Not content with just one public relations nightmare, Tim Hortons goes two for one in May after employee chastises customer for buying a homeless pregnant woman breakfast (274)
(ABC News) Cool Wall Street faces a major resurfacing as the SEC decends to round up those who knew they were committing fraud. Martha Stewart gearing up for a new clientèle (11)
(Washington Post) Obvious Over 100 Washington Post journalists take early retirement buyouts. Will be replaced by Best of Craigslist, three spittle-flecked commenters and a guy in his pajamas (21)

Thu May 22, 2008
(Silicon Alley Insider) Obvious Hell no, we're not paying you to use Google, says a Google exec after Microsoft unveils search bribery scheme (14)
(Marketwatch) Obvious The U.S. government has been lying to you about unemployment numbers, core inflation numbers and the existence of unicorns. Here comes the revision (63)
(CNN) Dumbass Ford: Our cars don't suck - gas is just too expensive (369)
(Marketwatch) Interesting Oil prices fall on news that... wait a minute. Oil went DOWN? (40)
(CBS Chicago) Asinine Old and [not] busted: Blaming the oil corporations for the high cost of gas. New hotness: Discovering your state and local governments are soaking you for 20% of that cost (250)
(CNBC) Interesting Barnes & Nobile cuts its profit forecast, has a loss on news that people don't read anymore (52)
(CNBC) PSA Cramer just won't give up on these new-tech companies he's been recommending - he must be hitting the crack pipe again. He suggests some industrial-battery maker, probably for the lithium (8)
(Breitbart.com) Interesting Ford reduces production numbers for SUVs and trucks, says it won't return to profitablity in 2009 but will probably make a profit of $8 and a hot cocoa sampler box the following year (30)
(ClusterStock) Interesting Oil is a can't-lose investment, right? Because China and India are gobbling up more than big oil can make? Please. By this time next year, oil will be lumped in the same group as houses, tulip bulbs, and pets.com (116)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Interesting A research firm peers into Apple's product future and finds it...boring. Wireless clock radios and universal AppleSound remotes? If this is the best Steve Jobs can come up with, it's time to start shoveling Apple stock out the door (53)
(Bloomberg) Interesting Air France posts quarterly loss, surrenders (5)
(Philly) Followup John Lowe, executive v.p. of ConocoPhillips, couldn't remember his exact salary. He just dives in and swims around (230)
(Reuters) Sad Oil hits $135 in overnight trading due to (shakes magic 8-ball)... We're sorry, the magic 8-ball can no longer explain oil price increases due to inflation. Please upgrade to a magic 9-ball (52)
(News.com.au) Asinine Woman unable to survive on $800,000.00 a year. Accumulates $1.5 million in debt on her 41 credit cards (49)

Wed May 21, 2008
(Some Guy) Interesting U.S. ski resorts report record year for snow business. Tip Al Gore a season pass, say, "Thanks, kid" (25)
(CNBC) Followup Smoking kills. So does quitting. Pfizer in trouble - once again (24)
(Yahoo) Obvious Wendy's unveils new Frosty shakes in three separate flavors, no spoon required (38)
(CNN) Obvious "The fundamental laws of supply and demand are at work." "[In the United States oil exploration and production] is not a free market. This has been Congress' fault." Oil execs (140)
(Some Guy) Interesting What if gas cost $10 a gallon? Forget pizza delivery. And cheap airfares. And bottled water. In fact, forget a way of life that looks much like today's (111)
(Harvard Business Review) Cool Step 1: Offer new employees $1000 to quit. Step 2: Keep the ones that don't. Step 3: Profit (25)
(TTAC) Interesting Remember when Nissan posted the second fastest production car time at the Nürburgring with the GT-R? Ya, well they might have cheated a little bit (127)
(ClusterStock) Interesting Peak oil man Hirsch scares bejesus out of CNBC viewers with tales of cratering economies, oil rationing, $15 gas (110)
(LA Times) Dumbass Disgraced Countrywide CEO discovers that a series of tubes can bite you in the ass when you hit "reply" rather than "forward" when a customer sends you an email asking for help (79)
(Fast Company) Strange Advertising exec who dreamed up hipster-centric Burger King campaign is about to try to revive image of Microsoft, possibly unveiling "Creepy Bill" character (30)
(Yahoo) Scary State and local governments are basing promised benefits on numbers from outdated actuarial methods. Imagine the Enron scandal, but involving more people and less accountability (61)
(BBC) Interesting Nigeria's president is demanding nearly $2 billion in taxes from Royal Dutch Shell and ExxonMobil. Probably need a bank account number to "hold" the funds overnight, too (13)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Asinine Ticket from LGA to LAX, $560. Parking at LGA, $35/day. Cost to check your bags? $15. Smelly guy sitting next to you? Priceless. For every traveler's nightmare, fly American Airlines (54)
(Marketwatch) Scary Oil hits $132 on news that it just hit $130. Now we're just making this up (62)
(Wall Street Journal) Obvious BJ's up on weak economy (13)
(Gothamist) Followup Old and busted: $175 burger. New hotness: $30 TV dinner (169)
(KPTM) Cool Is the FCC talking to cell companies about ridiculously high contract cancellation fees? (48)
(Bloomberg) Weird Interesting article about an economics history nerd -- who saw this mortgage crisis thingee coming for 10 years -- says, "We've become a country of drunken sailors," then snaps his fingers (23)
(CNBC) Interesting Cramer explains about new-tech stocks and the differences with old tech, horse and carriage (7)
(Bloomberg) Interesting Bank stocks lost their position as the biggest industry group in the S&P 500 to technology companies after tumbling 31 percent since 2006 (3)
(Bloomberg) PSA Oil futures for 2016 delivery has shot up over the past three days by 14 percent to a mere $140 a barrel, provided it can still be found by then (25)
(SeattlePI) Stupid Microsoft's new Google-killing ploy: Paying you to use their search engine (26)
(Bloomberg) Unlikely Moody's Investor Services blames a computer "bug" for assigning AAA ratings to FFF worthy asset backed securities leading to a world financial crisis. Yeah, a computer "bug." That's the ticket (10)
(Guardian.com) Amusing Microsoft's chief executive is attacked with eggs by a Hungarian student. Giant paper clip: "It appears someone is attacking you, would you like some help?" (6)
(Bloomberg) Obvious Oil rises above $130 a barrel amid "supply concerns." In other news, "Supply concerns" is how you pronounce "Ha ha ha, stupid Americans" in Arabic (40)

Tue May 20, 2008
(GigaOM) Stupid Sprint's new plan for profitability is to lie to customers until they give in and pay up (27)
(BBC) Unlikely Guy who runs the third largest commodity index fund in the world rejects any notion that their actions have artificially inflated prices (45)
(Marketwatch) Sad Home Depot's quarterly income down 66% on news that the banks don't do that much home improvement on foreclosed homes (28)
(Wall Street Journal) Cool Hauser's Law: No matter what the US tax rates are, revenues always equal about 19.5 percent of GDP. With eye-opening chart (141)
(Marketwatch) Followup The recession which never began, yet somehow ended yesterday, is back on news that oil will top $130 and that printing mighty gobs of money doesn't raise its actual value (17)
(Newsday) Interesting Wendy the Snapple Lady is now just Wendy (18)
(CNBC) Interesting They now offer tour buses to drive by foreclosed properties for potential buyers. Your realtor's still a whore (12)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Obvious Vermont hillbillies can't get iPhones, so tiny cellphone companies ask the U.S. Government for help. Yeah, that'll work (11)
(Wall Street Journal) Asinine The airlines have come up with a brilliant new money-making scheme: stop offering compensation for cancelled or delayed flights unless the passengers buy "insurance" from them (46)
(CNN) Obvious JP Morgan to cut 55% of Bear Stearns staff, shoot the rest (16)
(Reuters) Asinine Good news: you have an account with T-Mobile & they're now going to carry the iPhone. Bad news: only in Germany (26)
(Some Guy) Ironic The subprime mortgage mess has gotten so bad that even mob-affiliated loan sharks are losing their shirts (16)
(Yahoo) PSA Oil has crossed $129 a barrel, about to hit $130 on news of Jon Lester's no hitter (49)
(The Gainesville Sun) Sad Latest victim of sorry economy, ponies (14)
(CNBC) PSA Boone Pickens: "The Saudis claim they have more oil," - "They don't. Also says oil is headed for $150, suggests natural gas too and generally rants about energy (37)
(CNN) Sad Huntington Hartford, the Howard Hughes of supermarket tycoons, is dead (12)
(CNN) Cool A 1961 Ferrari California Spyder sets vintage car price record at $10,894,900 at auction in Maranello, Italy. Cameron Frye still paying his dad off in weekly installments (27)
(Bloomberg) Dumbass UBS bet $100,000,000,000 on the U.S. housing market. Total losses in nine months: $24,000,000,000. Monty Brewster approves (13)
(Boston Globe) Dumbass The Big Dig cost overrun includes about $14 million for underestimating the political power of cell phone companies (10)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Scary What do you get when you mix the worst customer service with the best customer service? A Best Buy-Netflix takeover deal, of course (39)

Mon May 19, 2008
(Houston Chronicle) Spiffy Four ex-AOL executives reach plea deal with SEC, must surrender stolen money and perform 5,000 HOURS OF FREE SERVICE (78)
(Reuters) Obvious Citigroup bids $12.8 billion on Pennsylvania Turnpike, expect to recoup investment with introduction of Turnpike Access Fee, Tollbooth Worker Usage Fee and Automated Billpay Convenience Charge (45)
(UPI) Interesting McDonald's announces it will change oil by the end of the year, which means your french fries will taste like potatoes again, for about a week (39)
(Some Guy) Obvious Jay Leno solves American car manufacturers problems (57)
(The Register) Sick Mozilla foundation wants to add a wonderful new feature to your browser that tells Mozilla everything that you're doing. Won't that be awesome? (74)
(PCWorld) Interesting Facebook CEO to Google: We had Facebook Connect two years before Google Connect, copy cats. Also, stop trying to sell my users personal information and we'll talk about unblocking your app (8)
(Marketwatch) Unlikely The recession that never began is now over (24)
(AP) Obvious Lowe's 1Q 2008 profit down 18% from 2007, as customers say "Fark the leaky faucet, we're five months behind on the mortgage anyway" (24)
(Philly) Unlikely Health insurance in America is expensive because Americans are ignorant, self-centered, and won't surrender to complete corporate control (52)
(Some Union Guy) Dumbass Las Vegas union bosses threaten to bring prostitutes to picket lines to make things unpleasant for casino customers (14)
(Bloomberg) Spiffy The index of leading U.S. economic indicators rose in April for a second month, a sign the economy may not keep weakening in the second half of this year (25)
(AP) Cool Bush's Baked Beans celebrates 100 years. They're going strong and haven't run out of gas yet. (Duke still prefers steak.) (24)
(Chicago Tribune) Amusing McDonalds Chief Exec opposes calorie totals on McMenus because the McMath would be too McHard (26)
(BusinessWeek) Interesting Toyota Camry on brink of surpassing best selling Ford F-150 in U.S. Plus, they're beating them in NASCAR too. Henry Ford is rapidly spinnning in his final resting place (62)
(Telegraph) Unlikely Forget paintballing, the latest corporate team-building activity is camel polo (15)

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