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Sun May 18, 2008
(Some Kona Guy) Obvious Consumer Reports' verdict on Starbucks' widely hyped drip coffee blend: so inoffensive, you should take it black (13)
(FinancialSense) Interesting US Department of Energy states that oil supplies exceed demand, speculates that speculation cause of oil inflation (41)
(CNBC) Silly Cramer wakes up, breathes some fresh mountain air and contemplates the ultimate question: Is this market bottom for real? (25)
(Yahoo) Asinine Union rejects American Airlines offer of 3-5% more money for employees as well as more vacation and sick time. Because we all know the airline industry is flush with money (70)
(Tacoma News Tribune) Obvious Smart Car fares well in crash tests relative to its size. Deemed as safe as a shopping cart (48)
(Inside Bay Area) Interesting You'd think an article about the guy who figured out how to coat school milk cartons & make stronger beer cartons would be dull (32)
(Palm Beach Post) Spiffy News: It looks like Home Depot has finally turned the corner. Fark: Thanks to booming business in Mexico. Viva la Depot de Casa (11)
(CNN) Obvious Gas hits record high for 10th day straight because... *SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE* ...there ain't a damn thing you can do about it (304)

Sat May 17, 2008
(Statesman) Dumbass DHL learns that the difference between 23 degrees Celcius and 23 degrees Fahrenheit is exactly $883,000 (249)
(AP) Obvious AOL has finally come up with a workable idea to attract new customers and new business: stop calling itself AOL (19)
(Boston Herald) PSA For only $450 you can hire a company to robocall 5,000 strangers and tell them about your cat (23)
(CNBC) Asinine Precious snowflakes are shunning summer jobs in record numbers because they feel entitled to an office with a view, company car and a secretary (64)

Fri May 16, 2008
(11 Alive) Spiffy Woman spends $10 a week on groceries for family of four using coupons instead of Soylent Green (199)
(MSNBC) Silly "Seattle is known for people who like the peace pipe and this looks like the work of someone smoking some while watching 'A Fish Called Wanda' in the Pink Taco Restaurant" (15)
(Bloomberg) Hero Uncle Ben discovers a way to help inject liquidity into the banking system without cutting the Fed Funds rate by offering to pay interest on commercial bank reserves (38)
(TheSpec.com) Obvious How would you get more high school students eating Angus burgers? By installing wireless Internet and Guitar Hero in fast-food restaurants, suggested a group of teenage students competing in a marketing contest (14)
(AP) Obvious Treasury secretary confidently announces that the cat has stopped bouncing (15)
(CNN) Stupid CNN reports on why $120/barrel oil is good. Part of their ongoing series "Hey, It May Be Rape, But At Least You're Getting Laid" (180)
(AP) Interesting TV prescription drug ads may no longer be allowed to distract you with flying bees while detailing side effects (221)
(Some Guy) Obvious As long as middle class 16-22 year olds have disposable income, our economy is safe (22)
(CNN) Interesting Good news: The dollar's not completely worthless. Bad news: It's not going to stay that way (4)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Stupid Napster (remember Napster?) stock down 60%, rewards CEO with a new contract (6)
(Slate) Obvious "Record" gas prices are still pretty cheap: in 1922, an inflation-adjusted gallon of gas cost $3.11, and that's before buying a week's supply of onions for your belt (86)
(Reuters) Unlikely Fox thinks reducing the number of commercials will bring viewers back to TV (32)
(Forbes) Obvious We asked nicely, see? Now listen, my pretty Yahoo. You're gonna hug Mr. Microsoft. You're gonna give him what he wants. Or we're gonna take you in that room, see? You don't want to go in that room. Trust me (8)
(Yahoo) Obvious Consumer confidence sucks ass. Lowest level in 28 years (8)
(News.com.au) Scary Oil passes $127 on news that King Abdullah was disappointed at the quality of Dubya's fellatio (49)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Asinine Screw up your business lately? Blame the Hollywood writers' strike (2)
(BBC) Obvious British Airways hit so hard by a £124m fuel price rise, that profits are up only 45% to £883m. Wait what? (2)
(MSNBC) Interesting Housing starts post surprising 8.2% gain in April, or in tangible terms, three more houses (8)
(Bloomberg) Interesting Posters that border on child porn are apparently good for business (25)
(Marketwatch) Spiffy T. Boone Pickens drops $2,000,000,000.00 bet on passing wind in Texas (26)

Thu May 15, 2008
(MSNBC) Interesting GM says it'll skip Vista and wait for Windows 7 or the Grim Reaper. Whichever comes first (79)
(CNBC) Interesting Some hedge fund -- which raked in billions over the last year betting on the subprime credit meltdown -- has built up a stake of about 50 million Yahoo shares in recent months (7)
(CNBC) Interesting JC Penney reported a 50 percent drop in Q1 profit as weak demand forced it to cut prices to clear unsold crap, but the results were better than Wall Street expected (10)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Dumbass If the Starbucks logo offends you, and causes you to call for a boycott, you just might be a Christian (346)
(Some Guy) Amusing If Ric Flair and Lenny Dykstra can give you Wall Street advice, then Heisman Trophy winner Tim Brown can, too (25)
(Financial Times) Ironic Palestianian stock index... best-performing... stellar rise... stability in the West Bank... English words... make no sense... must be having stroke (19)
(Some Guy) Silly Microsoft asked to clarify its statement that Xbox 360 is world's best-selling console. "Xbox 360 has the largest global install base of any current gen. high definition gaming console, Wii excluded" (226)
(CFO.com) Dumbass JPMorgan is shocked, SHOCKED, that the Securities and Exchange Commission is bringing charges against them for manipulating the municipal bond market. Reportedly preparing the "Do you know who my father is?" defense (12)
(Some Guy) Amusing Amusing business headline: Wombat secures deal with Equiduct for OneTick (3)
(Marketwatch) Interesting How some of the same banks responsible for the credit crunch may also be to blame for the energy crunch (13)
(UPI) Obvious Economic views are bleak but steady. So we got that going for us (9)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Ironic Mark Cuban, the guy who raped Yahoo for $5.7 billion for Broadcast.com, is among Carl Icahn's Yahoo board nominees to force a sale to Microsoft (8)
(Bloomberg) PSA Foreigners buying U.S. financial assets rose more than expected in March, the biggest gain in five months (14)
(Marketwatch) Interesting CBS to buy C|Net for $1.8 billion. C|Net now featuring articles entitled "How to use your rotary phone" and "The technology of Matlock" (48)
(CNBC) PSA The Fast Money Fartknockers suggest buying John Deere, UPS, E*Trade and Yahoo on Thursday. Sell stocks from your E*Trade account to buy a John Deere generator you searched for with Yahoo that UPS will ship (11)
(Post Bulletin) Obvious Survey finds BlackBerry etiquette is lack -- hang on, just got an email (128)
(Bloomberg) Obvious In another sign that the housing market won't rebound in your lifetime, GE announces sale of century-old household appliance business (25)

Wed May 14, 2008
(Reuters) Obvious GM needs $9 billion, would hold a talent show to raise the money but their only talent is losing market share (24)
(CNBC) Interesting John Deere reported higher Q2 earnings as soaring crop prices boosted demand for farming stuffs, but their forecast for the rest of the year saddened Wall Street and its shares fell nine percent (9)
(Some Guy) Asinine Sallie Mae or may not have falsely reported a million student loan borrowers as delinquent, lowering credit scores by 100 points or more (23)
(Clusterstock) Interesting It is simply not true that Bear Stearns employees are just sitting around waiting to get fired. They're doing lots of things, like playing video games and the popular word-guessing game "Taboo" (10)
(CNBC) PSA Macy's reports a quarterly loss, blaming falling sales. Still upbeat for the year despite people substituting their overpriced crap for Wal-Mart junk (10)
(Reuters) Obvious Ford recalls over 650,000 F-150 trucks before their owners are Found On Road Dead (22)
(Ad Age) Interesting Brazil offended by liquor ad featuring naked woman because the liquor isn't really Brazilian (possibly Not safe for work) (150)
(590 KLBJ) Obvious Whole Foods learns that people don't like paying $8 for a gallon of organic milk during a recession (80)
(CNBC) Unlikely RIM may take on iPhone with the Blackberry Bold. We all know how teens want to sync with their exchange servers (35)
(Bloomberg) Spiffy Confidence in the global economy improved for the second consecutive month in May on signs the worst of the credit squeeze may be over (24)
(Wall Street Journal) Asinine Congress set to vote on $300 billion farm bill that includes huge subsidies to agri-corporations. Subsidies will be funded by whatever change is left in your pockets after spending your paycheck on groceries (86)
(CNBC) Obvious Rising raw material prices are likely to be passed on to consumers rather than being magically passed on to the tooth fairy (18)
(Reuters) Obvious The FBI is shocked, shocked, to find out there might be shady goings-on in the subprime mortgage industry (25)
(CNBC) PSA The Fast Money Fartknockers have a little stock trade for today: Buy Alcoa, Golar, Consol Energy and short the Dow 30 (9)
(ABC News) Asinine Erection of porn tax could cause turgid industry to go limp, need cuddling (58)
(Reuters) Cool Craigslist countersues eBay. Principles only. Farkers, please don't contact article subby. Please, no phone calls about this post (29)
(AP) Interesting MySpace wins $234M anti-spam lawsuit (20)

Tue May 13, 2008
(Some Guy) Unlikely Drop in Federal Reserve's "Anxious Index" shows just 28% of economists now expect recession. "Pankicky" and "Messing their pants" indices yet to show similar declines (10)
(Wired) Sad College level Skee-ballers hack Dave and Buster's credit card data (27)
(TheStreet) PSA Clear Channel goes private; speculation is rampant that their stations will finally have deeper music libraries than your local ice-cream truck (21)
(Some Guy) Strange Albert Speer constructing a city where 300,000 people build VWs. Nope, this is not a repeat from 1938. You know who else... awww, screw it (25)
(AP) Obvious Retail sales dip for second time in two months. Thanks goodness the government is sending us free money. Woohoo, free money everyone, let's go shopping (223)
(Yahoo) Amusing Home prices post steepest decline since, like, ever. What bubble (72)
(Yahoo) Asinine In anticipation of a reduced number of Americans flying this summer, airlines slash rates to attract new customers. Not really: they continue to hike fares and add on extra charges for bags, drinks, food and so forth (126)
(Bloomberg) Interesting Mattel may win $500 million in lawsuit after convincing a judge that Bratz dolls really are Barbie's trailer trash cousins (194)
(The New York Times) Interesting The oil non-bubble (44)
(Network World) Followup Just bought by HP: "We are -- and will remain -- EDS," head honcho reassures troops, who continue packing up their desks anyway (18)
(AP) Obvious One in 10 Boomers are taking out loans to afford basic living expenses. Look for the followup thread when the economy recovers showing their outrage that money isn't free and that the younger generations should pick up their tab (606)

Mon May 12, 2008
(Network World) Obvious HP in talks to buy EDS for up to $13 billion (39)
(Forbes) Interesting Forbes lists the most expensive ways to insure your small peener and midlife crisis (36)
(International Herald Tribune) Interesting Outsourcing solved: Hire the blind (18)
(C|Net) Misc Facebook CTO to leave the company, will be replaced by three apps that do half the work. Facebook is betting nobody notices the difference for at least a year (19)
(Chicago Tribune) Misc Virgin airlines sets sights on O'Hare, but won't consummate deal until it's sure O'Hare really loves it (5)
(CNBC) PSA U.S. gasoline is no longer the leading fundamental driving oil markets, according to a report penned by an egghead at Goldman Slachs (9)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Obvious All the stupid TV commercials in the world can't save Sprint, which lost ONE MILLLLION customers in the last three months (60)
(Some Guy) Obvious Chrysler executives forced to call customers and ask if their Chrysler product has started sucking yet (39)

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