(Techwhack.com)		Microsoft has now sold more than 2 million Zune players, only 148 million to go before they catch up with the iPod	(94)
(Some Guy)		Google announces it's own social network, "Friend Connect." Well, Facebook, Myspace, you two had a good run	(53)
		Cramer says not to own Citigroup, AIG & Circuit City.- they are some of the worst companies to own	(46)
		Bad News: Ford may retire the Mercury nameplate. Worse News: That means the end of Jill Wagner, Mercury's megahot commercial spokesmodel	(36)
		Top 10 housing markets that will keep crashing until 2010. Guess who grabbed half the slots	(35)
		Welcome to the NASCARification of horseracing. What can Big Brown do for you?	(15)

(Some Guy)		"How food riots, expensive gas, and home foreclosures point to a better future". Please form an orderly line in front of the Monolith, no bone throwing please	(29)
		Texas the latest state to demand Amazon collect sales tax from its customers	(26)
		Alaskan oil production halted by an errant snowplow just in time for the summer driving season. Mission accomplished	(41)
(Some Chinaman)		Alaska, which produces most of the nation's oil, has highest gas prices. Invasion scrapped at last minute when Alaska determined to already be a US state	(70)
		Blackstone CEO on subprime: “[It’s like] being a noodle salesman in Nagasaki when they dropped the A-bomb - not a lot of noodles left, and not a lot of people either.” (w/ "I'm a douchebag" pic)	(42)
		Oil prices soar to a new record on news Brazil seeks to join OPEC after discovering 33 billion barrels of oil	(45)
(Marie Claire)		Remember those Dove ads featuring "real" women? Yeah - were photoshopped just like all the fake women	(36)

		Citigroup ponders $400,000,000,000 asset fire sale. Vultures seen circling the rotting corpse	(50)
		Down and out in London: Homeless population soars after banks foreclose upon homes they knew buyers would never be able to pay for	(26)
(Some Guy)		Volkswagen to build 235-mpg car that looks like it came out of a Hot Wheels collection	(76)
		GM plans to take their large trucks and SUVs on a long walk off a short pier	(54)

		MySpace still walloping Facebook in traffic	(89)
(Some Guy)		You've come a long way, baby. Cigarette ads from yesteryear, including "The Flintstones"	(27)
		The price of Venetian beaver cheese is on the rise	(35)
(Some Guy)		Owner of Po Folks restaurant calls attempt to charge quarter for glass of water a "failed experiment" after facing outrage from real po folks	(34)
		To keep up with the American car companies: Toyota reports 28 percent drop in fiscal 4th quarter profit	(21)
(The Local.se)		Saab admits to using human cadavers for crash testing. Mmmm mmm mmm mmm	(237)
		Much like an Ohio State linebacker on a blindside blitz, $4 gas knocks the crap out of Michigan	(33)
		Oil prices hit a new record on news that crude inventories jumped more than expected and gasoline stockpiles grew. Welcome to Bizarro World. Population: You	(98)

		The Wall St Journal declares that the housing crisis is over. Guess the guy across the street who dropped his price another $10k missed that	(69)
(Some Guy)		Chuck E. Cheese restaurants recently began using a "reformulated" pizza cheese at its 490 locations, helping the company cut costs	(63)
		Catching Apple completely off guard, Sprint to launch a 3G/GPS smart phone in June, and spend $100M on advertisements comparing it directly to the iPhone	(71)
(Clusterstock)		Great companies make great investments, right? Wrong. See the dog otherwise known as "Cisco"	(20)
(Radio Ink)		CBS Radio President and CEO suggests idea that new tech will replace radio is "absurd," goes back to eating unicorn steaks on Rainbow Island	(20)
		Merrill CEO believes credit crunch is over. Tinfoil hat men heard screaming denials from their concrete bunkers	(24)
		Not everything is gloomy with the economy: US exports grew by 5.5 percent, and foreign tourists are all over the place in their sandals with socks and stinky BO	(36)
		Warner Music Group may change its per-song prices to reflect popularity. Because that didn't help kill the CD sales market at all, no sir-ee, uh-uh	(13)
		Apparently some people still think we are going to manage our tax rebates better than we managed the rest of our money	(39)
		Corporate defaults on debt reaching record levels. Republican-sponsored Corpor-Aid Benefit Concert, featuring the hard-rocking trio of Limbaugh, Coulter, and O'Reilley, to be announced	(15)
		Further signs the economy is improving: California has only had two cities declare bankruptcy. One happened last night	(27)
		The same Wall Street crowd that brought us the subprime crisis, an economy loaded down with debt, and recession, is trying to buy up control of repairing our infrastructure	(26)
		You'll never reach into an airline seat-back pocket again after reading this	(132)

(Poughkeepsie Journal)		Ad agency lands I♥NY relaunch account, adds a squirrel and a butterfly to the old logo. For this the agency will receive $15 million a year	(52)
(Some Guy)		A company gets suspicious of an employee’s behavior. So, with the help of Google, they find out that the guy had been fired for shady activities before. The company fires him, and he sues for wrongful termination	(36)
		To prevent fraud, credit card companies limit the amount you can spend at the gas pump. But really, who's ever going to need more than $50 dollars to fill their tank?	(84)
		Thousands of patents filed since 2000 have been granted illegally. In other news, subby now holds a patent on the iPod, laser eye surgery, 9/11	(35)
		For the tens of you who care, Consumerist got Visa to officially say you don't need I.D. to use your credit card	(78)
		Sprint paid $36 billion for Nextel, but may only get $5 billion if it is sold off	(16)
		Looks like UBS stands for Unemployed Bank Staff	(47)
		The price of food may be rising, but producers haven't completely passed on the increased costs of raw materials and fuel to the consumer yet. You'll either have to pay more or lose weight over the coming months	(62)
		There is a plus side to the housing crisis -- fewer real estate agents	(27)
		NBC has moved its video suckage from the festering suck of iTunes to the moldering suck of Zune	(47)
		Chrysler offers three years of gas at $2.99 a gallon if you buy a Chrysler. The downside is you have to buy a Chrysler	(34)
		Las Vegas and Atlantic City Tropicanas just rolled themselves some snake eyes	(15)
		The SUV "is an irrational vehicle. It'll never come back"	(214)
		Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, speaking in dire tones with creepy organ music playing in the background, warns that more must be done to stave off the situation he and his ilk created. "We are in great peril"	(112)
		Nudists flock to microbrew, can't find bottle opener	(8)
		Recession hits Las Vegas hard in all sectors. Aw, craps	(13)
		Google is crowing about rooster-blocking Microsoft attempt to swallow Yahoo, but hen pecked investors think they are victim of a robin	(6)

		If United Airlines has to publish a phone number for it's baggage department, the terrorists win	(10)
		Home Despot won't sell you goods unless you tell them where you live and whether the 1/4" PVC pipe is for business or personal use, comrade	(82)
		Yahoo holders' options: Sell, sue or pray that Yang can deliver. Hehe, you said Yang	(7)
		Sprint might ditch Nextel, which it spent $35 billion for and now says is worthless	(81)
		Bill Gates and Warren Buffet interviewed together. Don't miss their duet on 'Margaritaville'	(7)
		GodTube, the video sharing site for bible thumpers, raises $30 million. Jesus	(34)
		Bank of America may lower its offer for Countrywide to $0 per share. No, that's not a typo	(31)
		AT&T CEO's penis is 78.4 million times larger than Steve Jobs'	(20)
		India is considering a ban on trading in food futures. Your dog doesn't want to be steak	(42)
		Rising food prices could force hundreds of millions of Asians back into poverty, sparking political instability and social unrest	(122)
		How Yahoo blew the Microsoft deal, Part 1: Believe your own press releases, act like it's still 1999, vastly overestimate how much Steve Ballmer is willing to pay for your company	(27)
		Deutsche Telekom, the German owner of T-Mobile, now officially in unofficial talks to officially buy Sprint (unofficially)	(34)
		Wal-Mart and OPEC are battling for the tax rebates the U.S. government started handing out. The result may be a draw for the economy	(5)
		Qwucked by Qwest? Qwet even here	(6)
		How bad is the economy? People are robbing Goodwill	(94)
		"Grand Theft Auto IV": The biggest video game of all time will make less than a crappy Nicolas Cage movie	(141)
		Warren Buffett castigated investment bankers, home lenders, dog catchers and regulators for letting the financial system spin out of control	(8)
		The Fast Money Fartknockers believe that Cisco stock is a good buy for the long run, just not at this price level	(12)
		Yahoo stock down 20 percent (under $23 per share) in pre-hours trading as its CEO is on the hot seat for rejecting Micro$oft's $33-per-share buyout	(12)
		Teabag with Alan Greenspan? A bargain at $11,000	(6)
(Korea Times)		Korean budget airline encourages potential flight attendants to wear jeans, T-shirts and sneakers to the job interview (captionable pic)	(15)
		People who recycle print cartridges at Office Max are thieves, tree huggers	(25)