BMW and Mercedes in talks to begin sharing components, perhaps the beginning of a merge of the two automotive giants	(30)
(Bloomberg)		Federal Reserve policy makers may be nearing a pause in interest-rate cuts after the fastest reductions in 2 decades	(18)
		Old and busted: Declining circulation for print newspapers. The new hotness: Declining views for newspaper websites	(27)
		Automakers looking to China as one of the top growing markets in world (with obligatory "the girl or the car" photo)	(21)
		Xerox revenue rises. It's like they have some machine that makes magical copies of stuff	(9)
		British Airways is giving away millions of frequent flier miles - just send them an e-mail	(5)

(Some Guy)		In an effort to avoid foreclosure, couple decides to raffle off home for $100 a ticket. State claims that this is a violation of the "Bank Bingo and Mortgage Pinball Act of 1829"	(49)
		Teens feel the pressure of a slowing economy, become more, like, thrifty	(46)
		Can wind turbines turn a profit? T. Boone Pickens is betting $10 billion that they can	(54)
		Economic downturn forces even the wannabe-rich to cut corners: The business of renting jewelry is booming	(13)
		European Policymakers are urging emergency measures to halt the falling value of the $USD. Meanwhile, Americans dismayed that the primary debate preempted their regularly scheduled episode of "Ow My Balls"	(38)

		Dow closes up over 200 points, dollar gains strength against yen and euro. President Bush blamed. Oh wait	(62)
(Bits NY Times)		Scott Adams to outsource Dilbert in desperate attempt to find the funny	(42)
		Chrysler recalls Sebrings, Avengers, times when their cars didn't suck	(310)
(Bloomberg)		Citigroup announces $5.11 billion quarterly loss, cuts another 9,000 jobs, stock price soars. Hooray for capitalism	(57)
		Wall Streeter takes home $3 billion last year, enough to cover the budgets of six states	(63)
(Silicon Alley Insider)		Stock superpundit Jim Cramer nails CROX, blows GOOG, hits beach	(21)
(Times Union)		Honda announces dealership that in 2010 will sell its new, US-built flying car	(34)
(IHT)		North Korea's economy may be a shambles, but at least its airline is doing well	(12)
		Washington AG spends one year and $161,000 to find out that oil companies have no need for shenanigans when oil prices rise 76% in 5 years	(24)
		Staff caught beTwix rock and hard candy at Honda's UK factory Flake out after being banned from eating biscuit-based chocolates. Submitter Revels, Snickers at Nutrageous situation	(41)
		Some private lenders dropping private student loans, look to government help. Well, we didn't need an educated populace anyway	(47)
(KETV)		Farked-up airlines delaying and cancelling flights might start working to your advantage	(10)

		According to Bureau of Bad Statistics and Misplaced Commas, the average US family only has 2200 in Credit Card debt	(87)
		The crashing sound you heard was Manhattan's real estate market as Merrill Lynch, the world's largest brokerage, announces 3,000 more job cuts	(19)
		One in 33 homeowners predicted to be in foreclosure within two years. EVERYBODY: A) Panic? B) Blame the government for not doing anything? Or C) Make sure you qualify for a mortgage within the next two years when those homes are dirt cheap?	(84)
		Remember how Google was going to tank this quarter? Yeah, not so much	(15)
(MotorTorque.com)		The British car industry: Owned by Americans, Germans, Indians, Malaysians, Chinese. And two or three eccentric Brits	(24)
(Bloomberg)		Nokia reported a 25 percent jump in Q1 profit -- but it missed analysts' estimates and said the value of the global handset market will shrink in euro terms this year	(9)
		Oil futures jump to record price -- over $115 a barrel -- based on "supply concerns." Since demand has dropped, I think we can all call Sheik-nanigans on this one	(89)
		EBay feeling the pinch after users vow boycott over increased listing fees. Just kidding, their profits jumped 22 percent in the first quarter	(12)
		There are so many reasons to feel sad in today's world, that it's nice when something like this comes along: The Crocs fad is beginning to fade	(37)
		ee keepers ewildered as to what's killing ees	(42)
(Business Week)		Hamsters sold at PetSmart now come with extra deadly bonus	(27)

		"There's an important breaking story here: An airline is about to go out of business. We're here on the spot, but we're not going to tell any of those ticket-holding losers who are about to get stranded."	(29)
		Fiat reportedly set to offer world's most adorable car in America. Unfortunately, the car will be built by Chrysler, meaning that despite its excrutiating cuteness, nobody will want to buy it anyway	(57)
		How low are expectations? A 50% drop in profits is cause for a stock market rally	(30)
		Dollar sinks to all-time low against the euro on news that Tiger Woods might miss six weeks of golf	(54)
(The Oil Drum)		It's time for summer gasoline... but what does that mean?	(43)
		Even when things are down, people still gotta have their sody pop	(78)
		With food prices soaring, that fat-free, carb-free, dairy-free, meat-free diet is looking pretty good	(50)
(CounterValue)		UK recession: Bank of England to take over mortgages	(14)
(Some Guy)		In attempt to prove that they're hip, edgy and Web 2.0, Washington Post unveils cutting-edge new technology called "hyperlinking" on its site	(7)
(CounterValue)		UK recession: Britain's $25 billion debt timebomb	(32)

(Silicon Alley Insider)		New York Times to staffers: "Sorry, but if you don't quit, we'll fire you"	(20)
(Some Cable Guy)		Not news: Verizon tries to retain customers. News: By offering sweet deals to everyone Comcast requests a number transfer for. Fark: FCC allows it	(25)
		Common tater excited as "wheat and rice prices surge." That has got tuber the worst pun ever	(105)
		"Welcome to the United States of America. Brought to you by Carl's, Jr."	(65)
(Some Guy)		Free Boston commuter paper abruptly ceases publishing due to economic conditions in... Iceland?	(19)
		British Airways gives two top execs the boot after Terminal 5 opening becomes an embarrassing fiasco. In America, we just kick them upstairs and pay them more for that sort of thing	(15)
		Bill for stupid and the lazy would have IRS fill out tax forms. This should turn out well	(95)
		German investor confidence declines. Poland fidgets nervously	(17)
		Fox Business reporter tries ambush interview tactics with author, gets his ass handed to him. Multiple times	(53)
		Mortgage fund to finance future Palestinian rubble	(25)
		Today is Tax Day. Here are some tax tips for freelancers (NSFW language)	(12)
(Some Guy)		Bush Administration's hedge fund code is more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules. Welcome aboard the Black Pearl, Miss Turner	(24)
		USA: Let’s invade countries to get oil. China: Let’s wait for the USA to invade and then buy up their oil refining companies	(32)
(Silicon Alley Insider)		New Google policy: It's okay to be evil sometimes	(36)
		If you want to be able to say, "I bought Google back when it was...." this may be your last chance	(15)
		Oil briefly rises to record level, above $113. Gas stations scramble to increase everything 20 cents a gallon	(51)
(San Jose Business Journal)		Look what happens to your headline when your font size is just a little too big	(24)
		Latest theory to explain the global economic crisis? "Hormones." Submitter is sticking with his completely unscientific "Greedy douchebag" theory	(4)
		Wal-Mart to begin filming gun sales in an effort to fight crime, because not selling murder weapons in an effort to fight crime makes too much sense	(462)

		America's bowling alley operators hope that card rooms, pool tables, vegetarian food, and disco balls will attract new customers	(25)
		Delta Air Lines will take over Northwest to become the world's largest distributor of peanuts	(184)
		Thanks to rising food costs, school lunch menus are chock full of obesity-inducing crap. Again	(14)
		Retirement? What retirement? More than two-thirds of Generation X expect to work until the day they die	(286)
(Bloomberg)		High fuel prices help ensure that retail sales were up 0.2 percent in March	(13)
		Yahoo's attempt to form an alliance with Google to stave off Microsoft could run into more trouble with antitrust regulators than Microsoft's takeover bid	(18)
(Capitol Hill Blue)		In case we hadn't figured this out, "The IRS’s scrutiny of the nation’s biggest companies is at a 20-year low"	(19)
		After shedding biscuit business, Danone sales up 20 percent with focus on healthy foods. Stupidly overlooks bacon-flavored yogurt for U.S. tubbies	(7)
(Bloomberg)		The collapse of the auction-rate debt market has made it possible for investors to earn 10 percent and more on top-rated securities	(13)
		In the run-up to the Olympics, some opponents of China's regime are boycotting all Chinese products. Good luck with that	(166)
		Wal-Mart employee refuses to return man's credit card and ID after he expresses an interest in registering a complaint with corporate. Where's your smiley face now?	(79)
		Blockbuster offers six bucks cash a share for Circuit City. Shareholders upset at no free movie rentals clause in contract	(20)
		Weather Channel to go up for auction right before hurricane season	(12)
		If you had Wachovia as the next bank desperately whoring themselves for cash to stave off bankruptcy, step up and claim your prize	(30)
(Some Guy)		British supermarket chain Tesco's to launch bachelors degree in shelf-stacking and retail management, apparently unaware that America has offered them for years and calls them "arts degrees"	(156)