(Some Guy)		Founder of Popeye's Chicken dies, will go to fast food heaven and chauffeur Colonel Sanders and Dave Thomas around	(58)
		Lundberg Survey shows gas prices have risen by 7 cents in the last 2 weeks. Also wants you to know they're going to need you to come in on Saturday, it's not a half-day or anything, so if you could just do that that'd be greeaaaaaat	(14)
		Diesel is now more than $4/gallon. Don't cut off that truck driver, he's already pretty cranky	(118)
(NY Times)		Large national retailers are quietly allowing customers to bargain on everything from clothes to electronics. "A lot of people don't realize you can walk into Best Buy and ask them for a lower price."	(224)
		Ben Bernanke's plan to prevent a collapse of the $516 trillion derivatives market through private acquisitions backed by the Fed may actually succeed. Or will it?	(72)
		The 10 biggest financial blunders in history. Time Warner's acquisition of AOL strangely misses the top 6	(40)

		Bank of America has a $6.5 billion write down. Are they the next Bear Stearns or do shares trade up as it's only $6.5 billion?	(40)
		2004 retrospective: If oil ever hits $50 a barrel, WE ARE FARKED	(48)
		Sony says you can keep your $50.00 fee (nervous laugh) and they will remove your "bloatware" for free	(43)
		Here comes the condominium market crash	(48)
(The Day)		In a sign of the current economy, it is acceptable for 50-year olds to move back in with their parents	(146)
		The average British adult has 2.8 credit/debit cards. They are spending more than they earn on vacations, furniture, even plastic surgery. As a result, the household debt-to-income ratio is 1.62 compared with 1.42 in the US	(46)
		Federal prosecutors open bribery probe into Alcoa. Tinfoil hat shares soar	(11)
(Some Guy)		Canadian steelworkers to U.S. union: DO NOT WANT. "Unions create unrest in a company. When contract negotiations come up, a war starts. If people working in his company were doing as well as people in unions, why would they need one?"	(50)

		First authorized cell phone call made from a plane, meaning that commercial air travel will soon be even more annoying	(61)
		"So what happens to those unlucky students who accepted positions at the now-defunct Bear Stearns? Will they get jobs at JPMorgan, or should they start learning how to make Frappuccinos?" Welcome to the real world, snowflake	(60)
		Cheney meets with Saudi King to discuss calming the oil market, possible 3-way with Bush covered in 30 weight	(23)
(Some Guy)		Ten surprising economic implications of an Obama presidency	(178)
		If you've been dumping pennies into those Starbucks tip jars, you just helped cost the company $105 million	(294)
		In latest sign that the economy is about to tank, traders have started drinking heavily at lunch	(28)
		Union upset with company that won't let its workers take bathroom breaks. Urine trouble now	(143)
		Anheuser Busch is rolling out yet another specialty beer, because the Beach Bum Blonde Ale wasn't bad enough	(34)
(US Daily)		Auctioning of public analog airwaves leads to smaller companies getting a share of the new pie......Just kidding, Verizon bought an entire spectrum for $4.7B	(26)
(Aloha Airlines.com)		Aloha, Aloha	(13)
		Not ones to deviate from their business model, GM admits that they "wont make a dime" from the Chevy Volt	(20)
		Living up to their old slogan "The On Time Machine," American Airlines forces passengers to sleep in the airport for up to two days. And they're very happy with the results calling it a success	(13)

		Brothers charged with stealing company secrets from Russian oil company. Я ПЬЮ ВАШ MILKSHAKE	(21)
(Some Guy)		"Unions have outlived their function. This is a global company and they don't shed tears for nothing. There has to be an advantage for the company to open the doors to the union"	(93)
(Fort Frances Times)		Headline: "Is Canada heading for a housing crash?" Article: "At the moment, there is no sign the Canadian housing market is going down the disastrous road of the U.S."	(39)
		Adobe backtracks on Flash for iPhone faster than Lindsay Lohan leaving rehab	(38)
		OH NOES, rich people are ensnared in the housing crisis after spending more than they could afford. This changes everything. Quick, to the lifeboats	(103)
		Oil falls below $100 per barrel on news that commodities are tanking. Hello, cheap beer and yummy pizza	(56)
(Ad Age)		Corona seeing sales decline for first time in 16 years. That's okay, you drink better beer anyway	(63)
		In a sign that the Apocalypse may not yet be upon us, gold prices tumble over $120 per ounce over the period of two days	(81)
		Banana Republic opens first British store, offering Brits the chance to buy Gap pants at three times the price but with a different label sewn on the ass	(28)
		Who predicted the credit crunch abyss? Certainly not Ben "the subprime market seems likely to be contained" Bernanke . Thankfully, he's not the Federal Reserve Chairman. Wait, he is? Aww crap	(27)

		Interest rate cuts when prices are climbing soon equals double-digit inflation. Just ask Nixon & Ford	(68)
		Wall Street reveals they are playing the Federal Reserve by reversing nearly 75% of Dow gains from yesterday off of the latest rate cut	(26)
		Starbucks CEO sees economic tailspin	(26)
(KPLC7)		For investors, water is the new gold as shortages mount. 5.56mm ammo is the new silver	(51)
		Only just begun, this gas price spike has	(72)
		Cramer explains that the XM Sirius merger is being held up because terrestrial broadcasters are scared. Also hints at campaign contributions, etc	(39)
		Skyrocketing wheat prices will make pizza more expensive. EVERYBODY PANIC	(52)
		Starbucks will once again grind their own beans in store. Why? So the stores go back to smelling like coffee, instead of the acrid self satisfaction of congregated 'bags	(50)
		Visa raises $17.9 billion in largest IPO ever. No word yet on how much cash back or what interest rate they'll end up paying shareholders	(35)
		You might think the economy was in a rough patch. Unless you're a military contractor, of course	(21)
		Busch Gardens Europe had the largest attendance increase of all theme parks in 2007. Suck it, Six Flags	(15)
		New to the Business tab? Unsure what the heck this whole "credit crisis" is? Here is a primer on what the credit crisis is and how it came to be	(75)
		Japanese companies to be fined for having employees who are overweight	(33)
		Lehman Brothers and Goldman Sachs post record losses whilst assuring shareholders that their staplers and Wite-Out are worth billions. Stocks soar. Suckers	(17)
		"The most worrisome feature of the financial sector's woes is that the downturn in the U.S. economy has barely begun"	(68)

		12 things that cost more than Bear Stearns	(41)
		Yahoo tells investors that it has a rosy outlook for 2009 and 2010, filled with happy unicorns cavorting under rainbow filled skies	(6)
		Dow closes 400 points up after Fed cuts interest rate. EVERYONE PA....oh, never mind	(41)
		CVS pays $37.6 million to a settle a lawsuit claiming they defrauded customers and Medicaid. Becoming the world's largest pharma-rapist: Priceless	(39)
		U.S. households "finally" forced to live on a budget, according to financial experts who have never ever spoken with an actual middle-class family	(98)
		Delta Airlines to cut 30,000 jobs; reduce U.S. capacity by five percent; remain nicknamed "Doesn't Ever Leave the Airport"	(26)
		Federal Reserve cuts Fed funds to 2.25%. which means they're paying last month's Visa bill by taking a cash advance on their Amex. Next month they'll take a cash advance on their Mastercard to pay off Amex. Rinse, repeat, recession	(340)
		Ford execs: we've stayed up all night, burned through 12 pots of coffee - Johnson over there missed his child's birth - but we've finally come up with our new slogan to recapture the marketplace: "Ford. Drive One."	(259)
(Bloomberg)		Securities and Exchange Chairman Chris Cox was asked on March 11 about Bear Stearns liquidity issues. Suffice it to say, the only liquid he was worried about was the Kool Aid	(10)
		Fortunoff department store chain tells hundreds of employees that their personal fortunes are about to be a bit off	(7)
		Lehman Brothers stock surges over 30 percent on the super-awesome news that first-quarter earnings dropped 57 percent. Yippee	(17)
		JP Morgan, already looking to save a few penies, cancels 90-year lease in new tower at the World Trade Center and heads over to the Bear Stearns building with a can of paint	(32)
		Sunoco CEO takes hit along with the rest of us. Just kidding, he made $8.57 million last year	(15)
(news-leader.com)		Investors dump bank shares before bank shares take a dumper over vulnerable portfolios	(6)
		Yahoo expects 2010 revenue of $8.8 billion. Or about 12€ by the time 2010 rolls around	(8)
		Every time Wall Street gets bloodied by another market selloff, some investors start circling over the carnage, looking for bargains	(18)
		Markets surge on news that Fed is about to release a shiat-load of free money into the economy in the form of a massive interest rate cut	(27)
		Look out below: In Silicon Valley, Bear Stearns collapse will lead to a "wave of startup bankruptcies and failed mergers"	(6)
		Siemens issues a profit warning, shares down seven percent today	(7)
(Bloomberg)		Goldman Slacks reported a 53 percent decline in Q1 profit after a bunch of write-downs, etc.	(9)
		Steamboat Willie Bernanke set to make the largest interest rate cut in history today, plans to keep whistling and tooting	(75)
		Bear Stearns Chairman Jimmy Cayne didn't let a little thing like the collapse of his business keep him from playing in the North American Bridge Championship last week	(11)
		Today's leakage of 4.2 million credit card numbers causing 1,800 confirmed cases of fraud brought to you by.... *drumroll*... Hannaford Bros. grocers	(55)
		Richest man in Britain loses $1 billion on Bear Stearns takeover	(24)

		US Federal Reserve comes to the rescue... of rich folks. Middle America, nothing to see here. Move along	(95)
(Some Guy)		Bernanke has been playing Whack-A-Mole with the markets, promises to get us a really cool CD player with all the tickets he's going to win	(8)
		Boeing says their scandal-ridden rigged bid for tankers in 2003 became so severely un-rigged, it actually allowed someone else to compete. And that's not fair	(65)
		Microsoft wants to assure everyone that VISTA SP1 is on track to ship in the middle of March, but fail to specify the exact year	(31)
		You always thought your boss was an idiot. Turns out you were right	(167)
		Court overturns Nacchio insider trading conviction, discovers delicious hidden jalapeno and sour cream beneath	(19)
		Chicago Mercantile Exchange purchasing New York Mercantile Exchange. All your Wall Street are belong to DIT-KA	(6)
		Bear-Stearns, whose stock lost 93% in four days after the Fed refused to bail them out, was the only bank that refused to go along with the Fed's last bail out. Your own petard, let me hoist you on it	(29)
		Congratulations Tottenham Hotspur owner Joe Lewis. You just lost $900 million betting on Bear Stearns. As least you still have that crappy football team, for now	(24)
(TPM)		Should I be worried about Bear Stearns' liquidity? NO NO NO. So sayeth Jim Cramer, mere weeks before Bear Stearns is bought out for $2 a share	(40)
(bloomberg)		Actual headline: "Wang Faces Inflation Test as New China Economic Chief"	(8)
		The U.S. dollar's value is dropping so fast against the euro that small currency outlets in Amsterdam are turning away tourists seeking to sell their dollars for local money while on vacation	(42)
		May 2nd is the day the IRS has decided to start paying out our glorious rebate checks. cha ching	(89)
(Some Guy)		High crude oil prices are "damaging" the markets of Saudi Arabia's biggest customers and encouraging the development of "alternative forms of energy," EVERYBODY PANIC	(44)
		Jobs for Financial Traders in peril. Opportunities for salesmen of tiny violins never better	(15)
		Oil prices plummet Everybody pani.. wait. what? Oh, gas prices still rising. All is well. Continue panicking	(8)
(IHT)		Gold clears $1,030/oz on news that Heather Mills just got a bunch of money and needs to spend it on something	(43)
		Smug levels are down today on the news that HP says that if you want to use Leopard, you have to buy a new printer	(44)
		When life hands you a Lehman, you just have to wait for Paulson to make the Lehman aid	(86)
		Your official "holy crap the market is crashing" discussion thread	(411)
		Massachusetts hospitals try to figure out how to pay for state-mandated care of uninsured people the state assures them do not exist since health insurance became mandatory	(200)
		Asian markets falling sharply. Americans preparing plans to live off of bartering on Craigslist	(27)
		Oil pushes through the $111 anus on news that oil producing nations really wish they didn't peg their only commodity to the U.S. dollar	(12)
		Goldman Sachs discloses fresh writedowns of $3 billion. Jim Cramer on life support	(28)
		Sudden collapse of $20,000,000,000 investment bank leads economists to ponder whether we'll all be living in mud huts eating potatoes by this time next year	(94)