Innovative Chicago school gives first-graders $20,000 when they enroll, lets them manage their money, and either enjoy the fruits of the labor or suffer the consequences of their bad decisions until the government bails them out	(17)
		Lenders still work their hardest to keep your personal data private even if they go bankrupt. Nah, just kidding, they just throw your files out in the trash	(2)
(Some Guy)		Bush's Energy Independence and Security Act would prevent U.S. from buying oil and gas from Alberta	(29)
		China will launch the "world's most luxurious train", with interior standards of a 5-star hotel, on route from Beijing to Lhasa. Free Tibet	(139)
		If this was football, a flag would be thrown for "piling on" -- FBI investigating Countrywide Financial for securities fraud	(25)
		Chrysler wants to be "the best little car company in America." We're #3, we're #3	(31)
(Some Guy)		It's worse than you think: a recession could leave 40% of home owners with negative equity	(84)

(BusinessWeek)		As it turns out, paying people to not pay your bills for you is not the best way to reduce debt	(37)
(Some Guy)		Despite the U.S. economic slowdown and the high loonie, Canadian economy is defying economists' predictions, thereby lending credence to the growing idea that economics is more voodoo than science	(39)
		Wall St. banks facing a $325 billion margin call	(89)
		The richest American you've never heard of; he's given away billions without so much as a plaque to publicize it. Donald Trump's head asplodes	(67)
		With the $106.54 peak today, Goldman Sach's discusses probability of $200/barrel oil. That's only 3 euros, so it's still cheap	(39)

		It won't be long now before companies will want to analyze your DNA before hiring you. Won't that be nice	(49)
		February job report released today: 63,000 jobs lost, overseas markets plummet	(29)
		CEOs were paid $460 million for their outstanding work in losing money at Citigroup, Merrill, and Countrywide	(52)
		Exxon increases their spending, because they have it all	(6)
		NAFTA isn't as evil as Obama and Clinton would like you to think	(92)
		Should Yahoo and AOL merge and use their combined powers to revive Netscape Navigator? If that doesn't work out, they'll license the Zune and rule the world	(10)
		College loans see subprime fallout	(35)
(AOL)		America Online gives us a list of 20th century brands that will fizzle out soon	(228)
		Expect a lower opening on Wall Street today on news that the economy sucks	(6)
		Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday/Who can hang the blame on you?/When your menu sucks with every new day/We're not going to miss you	(81)
		Beer me up, Scotty	(58)

		Swedish company IKEA accused of "cultural imperialism" by giving floor mats Danish names, then encouraging people to walk on them	(21)
		T-Mobile looking into purchasing Sprint in order to stave off a wireless industry price war	(28)
		"War game" pits MBA students in wireless Internet battle	(22)
(Huffington Post)		Today's Verizon public-relations shipwreck: they cancelled the cellphone accounts of two Marines deployed abroad and insist they owe $500 in backcharges. Bonus: they've given the phone numbers to new customers	(32)
		Apple opens up iPhone to developers; still won't let customers replace their own battery	(82)
		Stark candy heart plant is closing. It must be a DREAM. This pink slip can’t BE MINE. Guess nothing lasts FOREVER	(18)
		It's official: Banks now own more of America than we do	(157)
		Circuit City does something unexpected... they will accept recently purchased HD-DVD players in return for original credit towards the purchase of a BluRay player	(33)
		Amidst all the bad economic news - foreclosures, weak dollar, sky-high oil prices, etc etc etc - comes some good news: jobless claims have dropped steeply	(25)
		Ziff Davis Media, publisher of PC Magazine and Electronic Gaming Monthly, files for bankruptcy. Dozens upon dozens of basement-dwelling geeks inconsolate	(23)
		Hamilton Beach recalling toasters that stay on after toast pops up. The catch? You have to call them to find out if yours is a demon firestarter	(10)
		“Woo-Hoo... Woo-Hoo-Hoo...” Vonage trys to avoid going bankrupt	(23)
(Some Ingmar)		Denmark upset that IKEA is only naming cheap, low-end products after Danish places and saving the big-ticket items for Swedish names. Submitter quite happy with his Bøtchd shelves and Kräppi towel rack	(26)
(bloomberg.com)		Oil advances to record $105.97 on news that Patrick Swayze has cancer	(24)
		Investors take long, hard, throbbing look at juicy Penthouse Media Group IPO, expected to get interested quickly, then lose interest after two minutes, then get interested again	(7)
		Panic selling houses a costly mistake. EVERYBODY PA- oh, right. It's already been mentioned	(4)
		Hi ho, silver hits 27-year high at over $21 per ounce	(27)
(Financial Times)		Goldman Sachs is investing $100 million to educate women. That's a lot of driver's ed courses	(19)

		Bill Gates plummets to number three on the world's richest list. Thanks Vista	(27)
		Strippers, drugs, trips to the Super Bowl, Stones concerts, fine wine and cigars. All some of the perks for working at Fidelity	(7)
(RCR News)		T-Mobile, Sprint sued over mandatory arbitration, upgrade fees, roaming charges, deceptive advertising. In other news, people are beginning to suspect that wireless companies just might not be the most pro-consumer organizations out there	(33)
(NY Daily News)		BMW will debut an in-car internet service. What could possibly go ... [SCREECH ... BANG]	(10)
		$1 US equals $25 million Zimbabwe. Canada tries to stifle its amusement	(41)
(MediaPost)		Nielsen study suggests consumers warming to mobile ads. Marketers kicking you in the balls, shouting their slogan at you not far behind	(42)
		Yahoo has to turn to creative scheduling shenanigans to fend off an increasingly hostile offer from Microsoft	(7)
(Bloomberg)		Productivity in the U.S. grew faster than the economy in the fourth quarter as businesses reduced employees' hours to rein in costs	(38)
(Industry Standard)		Reality check: Whatever happened to Google stock hitting $900?	(20)
		U.S. regulators said they are watching credit cards for signs of the next trouble spots as strained financial markets constrain credit	(19)
		In a shocking surprise move, OPEC members decide they have absolutely nothing against $100/barrel oil	(345)
		Fear not, Washington Mutual shareholders: execs won't lose bonuses over subprime fiasco	(26)
		Fords now selling more on the merits of their telephony system than their intrinsic goodness, which is rather like buying an iPod because you like the carrying cases	(42)
		Analysts shocked to discover that advertising increases drug utilization and health care costs	(19)
		Rising wheat prices create difficulties for bakers and pizzerias. EVERYBODY PAN BREAD	(22)
		Company files lawsuit against Pluckers Grill and Bar, saying it owns the Pluckers name. Bar owner's expected response: "Pluck you"	(14)
		President Bush advises OPEC to lower oil prices. OPEC's response: "BWAHAHAHAHA"	(24)
(Some Guy)		Exercise is turning celebrities into skeletal horsefaces	(91)
		To lure workers, British Columbia launches marketing campaign by blanketing Toronto and Montreal transit stations with yellow daffodils	(12)

(Bloomberg)		Bernanke: giving away buckets of cash to freeloaders has proven effective for the government, mortgage lenders should give it a try	(40)
(Jpost)		11 reasons Bernanke's recession lasts until 2011 ~ Oh the Huge Manatee	(38)
(MediaPost)		Whole Foods makes aggressive capitalist marketing play for dirty hippy women	(56)
		Violating the basic tenents of Econ 101; Uncle Ben says more must be done to keep people who can't afford their homes from losing them. You would expect better from a guy who wrote the Econ 101 textbook	(119)
		CEO of GE maintains his company's AAA credit rating in a toxic credit environment and has always met or exceeded profit and revenue goals. For this, he gets a 10% raise. Just think what it would be if he bankrupted the company	(10)
(Some Sheikh)		Persian Gulf banks being hit by credit crisis. Guess which direction oil prices are headed	(9)
		Oil reaches record high with polls showing Hillary winning Ohio and Texas	(14)
(Bloomberg)		Staples saw a 1% decline in fourth-quarter profit. They could have used an easy button	(4)
		Europe is raising pressures on the US to stop the dollar slide. ECB member: "Things are becoming exaggerated."	(23)
		Gold nears $1,000 on news that it needs to be priced higher than oil	(25)

		If you got a Sharper Image gift card for Christmas it's now worthless	(143)
		Busy Britons stopping for groceries can now add doctor's appointment to their shopping list	(20)
		America's most admired companies	(46)
		Diebold votes to reject $2.63 billion takeover bid. Swears shareholder votes were properly tabulated	(4)
(Korea Times)		Motorola hires David Beckham to plug new RAZR2 cellphone. Apparently the phone's main features are absurdly fragile shell and limited range	(21)
		Sawdust rises to $100 per ton, on news that oil has hit $104 per barrel. Wait, what?	(25)
(rediff.com)		All those outsourced jobs to India? That may soon come to an abrupt end	(99)
		*Knock knock* Who's there? Car title shark. Consumer groups try to clamp down on predatory loan practices	(45)
		Texas and Ohio may be voting the same day, but they are worlds apart economically. One state is growing and prospering, and the other is being strangled by its anti-business, pro-union policies	(264)
		Diebold's stock price jumps 50 percent on news that they are being bought by a company that wants to have fraudulent elections in Europe and Asia too	(11)
		Despite their nonstop whining and moaning, middle-class Americans have more stuff and a higher standard of living than they've ever had	(101)
		You know the municipal bond market is in serious trouble when Warren Buffett looks at $800 billion in munis, shakes his head, walks away	(7)
		Asian stock markets get hammered as Tokyo commits seppuku. Belfast has a bloody Monday, whilst London, Paris and Berlin get bombed, setting New York up to pull a Billy Martin. Today's market report is brought to you by Maalox®	(11)
		Oil rises to $104 per barrel following news that Exxon Mobil has still not paid any compensation to the victims of the Exxon Valdez disaster. Which happened 19 years ago	(28)
		Stocks set to tumble for ya, they'll tumble for ya, they'll tumble for you	(20)
		People spend more time researching buying a toaster than they do a house	(67)
		The Society for Studies into the Painfully Obvious finds that Americans are "financially illiterate"	(24)
		United Technologies bids $3 billion to take Diebold overseas, ignores corporate board, seeks accurate voting of shareholders	(12)
		Gas expected to rise to $4 a gallon based on the fact that investors expect gas to rise to $4 a gallon	(22)