Alan Greenspan, the Abe Vigoda of economists, sees early signs of U.S. stagflation, just as he did during the Carter years	(19)
(Some Compulsive Gambler)		Proving that a fool and his money are soon parted, online gambling sites take bets on campaign fund raising	(5)
		"These days, working teenagers are becoming scarce."	(365)
		Analysis of public records shows that house-flippers played a significant role in the SF Bay Area's subprime meltdown. Schadenfreude to the right -->	(49)

		Even the Chinese won't buy toys made in China	(79)
		Real ale targeted at women launched to get the babes drinking the good stuff. Submitter considers what brand of lock to buy for his beer fridge	(13)
(Times Herald Record)		Vails Gate, NY is home to the world's oldest barber, who's been at it for 83 years without a single - oops - whoa, that's a lot of blood	(35)
		Indian Business Machines now has 4/5 of its workforce in the United States	(32)

		Canadians flaunting the strength of their newly-valuable monopoly money by snapping up homes in Arizona. Locals wonder if they'll do them a favor and buy back the Phoenix Coyotes while they're at it	(27)
		Sears Holdings, fresh off reporting disastrous sales numbers, seeks to purchase Restoration Hardware. Because if there's one good investment in a falling housing market, it's a company that makes $200 door handles	(14)
(Some Guy)		Health insurance becoming less affordable, says new study released by the Obvious Institute	(24)
		Oil prices rise on news that it's a day ending with "y"	(10)
		Alan Greenspan says we put way too much trust in what he was saying. NOW he farking tells us	(16)
(FinancialTimes)		World financial markets show signs of imminent collapse as financial institutions are running out of red pens to write-down their assets	(16)
		Palm gives workers the finger	(23)

(Some Guy)		Stocks lost ground Thursday on news that Madonna, Mellencamp newest inductees to Rock and Roll Hall of Fame	(12)
		EBay will end high shipping rates from tricky sellers	(42)
		Wal-Mart: The Grinch that stole Christmas in China	(29)
		Headline: "Retail sales surge in November." Article: Half the surge was petrol related. Your dog wants gas	(13)
		At this special time of year, please spare a thought for the 30,000 workers of Goldman Sachs, who will receive an average £300,000 as a bonus in their January payslips	(60)

		Hummers continue shrinking. By 2030, they will ultimately shrink to size of owners' penises	(38)
		Priced out of the American real-estate market? Century 21 is there for you... as long as you're not American	(13)
(Some Guy)		AMD tells SEC that ATI is POS	(64)
(The Atlantic)		"How can markets be efficient if people are such morons?"	(36)
		Anti-capitalist America haters at Morgan Stanley declare a recession is upon us. Don't give up your hopes and dreams, you may need to burn them for heat come February	(43)
		Biggest indicator of sagging economy may be less boob jobs	(21)
		Stock market surges after Fed agrees to work out international plan to ease credit problems. Which means, market will drop later today on news that Britnany Spears will be arraigned in court for something or other	(10)
		"Is Mario dressed as a bumble-bee a national treasure?" Actual headline, people	(17)
		Freddie Mac announces another $5.5-7.5B more losses. Both Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae announce higher rates and fees for all new loans. Where is your Bernanke now?	(22)

		More than 1 in 3 workers at retirement age in the 2050s will have nothing saved in 401k-style accounts. Spiffy tag applied for the inflation that will make worthless whatever the other 2 in 3 saves, leaving everyone even	(63)
		Warren Buffet denounces the income gap	(42)
		Stock market reacts to Fed rate cut by dropping 300 points	(32)
(TheStreet.com)		Buffett of Asia says sell China	(12)
		Fed shaves interest rate by a quarter point, which will be helpful when we go back to the bank to get a loan and repurchase our now-foreclosed homes	(15)
		Crude oil approaches $91 a barrel on news that Michael Vick would miss at least two football seasons while in prison	(5)
(Washington Times)		Actual headline: Airport fingerprinting goes two-fisted	(47)
(Yahoo)		NBC offering refunds to advertisers because their shows suck and no one watches them	(115)
(TPM Cafe)		"Had there been a better distribution of income from the national product -- i.e., less savings by business and the higher-income groups and more income in the lower groups -- we should have had far greater stability in our economy"	(27)
		German confidence at 15-year low. It's like 1933 all over again	(12)
		McDonald's stock hits all time high on news that people are fat, poor	(13)
		Texas Instruments adjusts earnings range toward high end of forecast	(4)
		Dollar firming on news that Bernanke to stroke interest rates	(7)
		China will allow their currency to move more freely. Their political prisoners? Not so much	(11)
(Some Guy)		Realtors group's Chief Economist says housing sales will inch up. Also says he picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue	(16)

		Home sales drop almost 20 percent from last year. Guess the spintastic headline	(167)
		Bank of America lost $28 billion of a $40 billion fund, but you should absolutely, positively still keep your money there and ignore the $7 billion they had to borrow from Abu Dhabi to stay solvent	(40)
		If you used a credit or debit card overseas between Feb. 1996 and Nov. 2006, you can get free money	(135)
(Some Guy)		Study ranks the 10 most expensive places to buy gas. Oddly enough they seem to coincide with lists of places that are most expensive to live. If there were only a reporter to cover these kind of stories	(14)
		As the dollar's value continues to slide ever closer to the peso, the presidents of six of South America's largest countries announce the formation of a bank intended to rival the World Bank and the IMF	(23)
		Free-market think tanks growing in Europe. French workers respond to news by striking, demanding 30-hour work week	(22)
		"The sole goal of the freeze is to prevent owners of mortgage-backed securities... from suing U.S. banks and forcing them to buy back worthless mortgage securities at face value -- right now almost 10 times their market worth"	(84)
		Gaz, a Russian auto maker, may be teaming up with GM and Chrysler to improve their cars. Seriously	(22)
		Swiss bank UBS posts $10 billion writeoff from subprime loans. Pay no attention to the financial meltdown behind the curtain	(12)
(Channel 3000)		Wisconsin winery makes limited-edition wine from frozen grapes	(21)