Once again the negative media predicts poor retail turnout for the start of the Christmas shopping season. Once again they are wrong. Negative spin incoming in 3,2,1	(6)
		The low dollar is a huge economic problem... for Europe	(19)
		All that riff-raff about how Black Friday was going to be the weakest ever and what do the researchers find? An 8% increase from last year	(34)
(Techdirt)		Amazon patents automatically giving bad service to bad customers. Best Buy files lawsuit claiming that their policy of bad service for all should be considered prior art	(34)
(Poughkeepsie Journal)		Institute For The Study of That Which Has Been Obvious To The Casual Observer For A Decade discovers parents can't farking stand those Bratz dolls	(104)
		Oil companies are experiencing massive financial losses because the price of gasoline is not rising as fast as the price of crude oil. Perhaps they can wrap their wounds in last years record profits	(42)

		The credit market has become the gift that keeps on giving, with $600 billion in ARMs getting ready to reset in the next 8 months	(76)
		Scotland marks anniversary of first McDonald's: "It emerged in dreich Dundee like a beacon"	(13)
(Total Concept Car)		Hyundai looks to steer company in new direction with Genesis Coupe Concept car, code named "Aba Cab"	(59)

		Nissan recalls 700,000 cars "because their engines may suddenly stop running." Well, at least it's not about lead paint this time	(29)
		Québec government is giving away $620m to manufacturers for losing so much money this past year. Government minister M. Pavlov is sure that this will encourage productivity improvements for next year	(16)
		It is an undisputed fact: Chipotle burritos are the best thing ever. Anyone who disagrees is a communist who hates America	(97)
		Large Retailer sued for massive tax-evasion by North Carolina, one guess as to which one	(15)
		When U.S. military contractors hire cheap Indian labor and mark it up at the usual rates, everyone makes immense profits. Happy Black Friday, Halliburton	(134)
		The latest threat caused by the housing slump: mosquito-infested "green pools." EVERYBODY PANIC	(12)
(Some Guy)		Airbus CEO says low U.S. dollar could put it out of business. "This is life-threatening"	(25)
		Vatican introduces performance bonuses. First prize is a Cadillac El Dorado. Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired	(11)
		U.S. retailers expect lousy Black Friday as country's economy is essentially in the toilet	(51)

(The Street)		AMD shares at lowest point in years, much like their benchmarks	(33)
(Popular Mechanics)		FAA's next gen air traffic control system to rely on AT&T's cell towers. Hopefully they'll drop less planes than they do calls	(21)
		Fired Microsoft CIO lands a new job in one of the few industries with a worse reputation than his former employer	(12)
		People who use online supermarket shopping being sold the crap customers wouldn't buy when they saw it in person before paying for it	(15)
		Meet the 28-year-old whose dream job is being beer taster for UK's largest supermarket chain. You'd hit it after a couple of Smithwicks (pic)	(37)

		Dominos Pizza to female franchisee: "Put out or get out."	(41)
		Burger King to release a larger double cheeseburger for $1. Begun, the artery wars have	(22)
		One man's trash is another woman's modern art piece sold for more than $1 million	(62)
		Proposed XM-Sirius Radio merger improves from dead on arrival to a 70% likelihood of baba booie for all	(48)
		Its Comcast vs. the NFL: a pissy little letter from a crappy company	(29)
		The $11 trillion US mortgage market is on the verge of total collapse on news that Freddie Mac and Fannie May won't have their allowance increased by Congress. With names like that, they can still walk the street for money	(16)
		Chinese "investors" who put money into scheme to raise ants for an aphrodesiac tonic shocked to be told they're not getting paid; they should have been smarter and invested in exporting dangerous toys like everyone else	(27)
		Zagat rates Midwest, Virgin airlines best, still has to defeat Chun-Li and Guile in order to take them on	(77)
(WCAX)		Mall finds creative way to attract holiday shoppers, namely a spot on the 11 o'clock news about how creative they are	(19)
		Stocks expected to fall sharply today. EVERYBODY SELL	(18)
(Financial Times)		The dollar is sinking beyond record lows against all world currencies. U.S. Mint proposes converting back to wampum	(21)
		Oil rises to over $99 a barrel due to refinery problems. Apparently the oil doesn't flow so easily when the pipes are stuffed with cash	(162)
(eweek)		TJ Maxx lost your credit card data, to make up for it, here's a special sale for you	(14)

		Not news: Company HR department issues dress code directive. Fark: Using poetry	(13)
(Alley Insider)		Apple's iPhone grabs 27% of U.S. smartphone market	(53)
		U.S. Treasury seeks to create a national sales tax to offset massive tax cuts for large corporations and maintain the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy. Gaius Julius Caesar is not amused	(30)
		Australian airline offering 5¢ airfares starting at 7pm tonight	(42)
(Information Weekly)		In favor of "a la carte" cable programming? THAT'S RACIST	(70)
		Canadian gas station owner who won the lottery is putting his competitors out of business by charging less for gas than what it costs him	(132)
		"The long Mexican business lunch, a tequila-fueled food orgy that could last past sundown, is on the demise in the capital as a new generation of clean-living executives cuts back on costs and time wasting"	(14)
(Some Guy)		An open letter from a Pfizer Inc. scientist to the CEO: If PFE was a restaurant, it would take $1,000,000 and two months to cook a hamburger	(50)
(Some Guy)		BP to sell convenience stores, cut 10,000 jobs. Overpriced coffee, beer and cigarettes still available at Circle K	(9)
		Apparently there's something called "word-of-mouth advertising." I don't know what that is, but TotalFark is great	(9)
		Freddie Mac loses $2 billion. Mrs. Mac reportedly pissed	(21)
		Calling all teleworkers… back to the office. Employees claim AT&T is requiring thousands of telecommuters to return to cubicle life. AT&T denies it	(14)
(Some Guy)		A very long, data filled, dry -- but very enlightening -- review of the subprime mess (in PDF format)	(47)
		Beer sales in UK pubs slump to lowest levels since Great Depression. Brewers call for urgent government action: "The time to support our national drink is long overdue"	(24)
		SABMiller to buy Grolsch, hopes to bring American beer marketing know-how to centuries-old European brewery	(25)
		Credit card companies become the latest hit as the ponzi scheme known as the "American Dream" turns into a financial nightmare. Subby kicks back, applies for another student loan, and feasts on Ramen and PBR	(39)
		Cadillac CTS named 2008 Motor Trend Car of the Year. Apparently GM was able to find a way to get the old people smell out this year	(46)

		World's first Barbie Store has beauty parlor, small catwalk for girls to parade under disco lights and workshops for coping with metrosexual Kens	(67)
		Urban Legend Cyber Monday becoming less of a big deal for retailers as people waste their time online shopping from home and less at the office	(31)
		CBS News writers authorize strike in move that could affect dozens of viewers	(48)
		Dow plunges. Subby too broke to panic	(37)
		U.S. oil rises near $95 on falling dollar. Suck it, America	(44)
		Zimbabwe's inflation data causes supercomputers to asplode, rifts in the space-time continuum, cats and dogs to sleep together	(98)
(Bloomberg.com)		Shareholders: Lose a total of $74 billion. Workers in the securities industry: Get bonuses totaling $38 billion. You: Wonder if you'll go with chicken- or roast-beef-flavored ramen	(27)
		Micro$oft may buy Yahoo. You can follow the story on Google News	(12)
(NY Times)		As competitors traded mortgage-related securities, Goldman Sachs reduced holdings and insured their risk. Stock actually UP 13 percent, YTD	(3)
		Campbells, profit falls, poss-i-bil-ities	(7)
(Financial Times)		General Electric demands that governments force the elimination of coal and oil power plants so they can corner the world market in nuclear energy. John D. Rockefeller approves	(22)