Oil prices fall on news that Tom Brady is not only articulate, intelligent and dreamy, but that he can beat the Colts with one arm tied behind his back	(5)
		Gasoline up 16 cents in two weeks on word of crumbling American economy	(34)
		There can only be one zombie king	(7)
		Today's CEO up against the wall is the head of the largest banking group in the USA: Charles Prince, of Citigroup	(28)
		The Gap promises child-free sweatshops	(12)

(IHT)		Kosher phone calls other kosher phones for less than 2 cents a minute, compared with 9.5 cents for normal phones. But on the Sabbath any call costs $2.44 a minute. In other news there are now kosher phones	(20)
		Warren Buffett laughing all the way to the bank, Margaritaville	(15)
		Gold closes above $800/ounce, reaching levels not seen since 1980. Submitter upgrades his bathroom from the usual rolls of Scott tissue to piles of well-worn $20 bills	(20)
		Federal Trade Commission says internet advertisers' promise of self-regulation *** P3N1S ENH4NC3M3NT P1LLS BY M4IL *** falling short	(9)

		The 10 worst jobs in America	(64)
(Businessweek)		Creditors continue to find ways to screw debtors even after debts discharged in bankruptcy	(102)
		It's not just the Canadian dollar, the British pound and the Euro that are hitting record highs against the U.S. dollar – even South African Rand is sneering at the Fed-issued bumwipe and doing hip thrusts from south of the equator	(47)
(NY Times Dealbook)		Responding to claims he tokes reefer and is constantly out of the office, James Cayne assures Bear Stearns employees in internal company memo that he did not engage in any inappropriate activity. I CALL SHENANIGANS	(8)
		U.S. payrolls jumped by 166,000 in October, double the expections of economists, and eleventy billion times more than the Democratic Presidential hopefuls predicted	(36)
(Betanews)		Kmart to stop selling Blue-Ray discs. In other news, people still shop at Kmart	(150)

		More millionaires living like middle class. More middle class living like they think they're millionaires	(45)
		UAW workers angry that only after signing a new contract, Chrysler announces elimination of 12,000 jobs. Because private equity firms lose all sorts of sleep over guys with cushy union gigs	(29)
		Time Warner to be broken up, thank god	(12)
		Cisco announces it's buying $16 billion dollars worth of china	(17)
		To become more competitive, Chrysler to slash 12,000 jobs and competitors' tires	(11)
		Who does Comcast think they are? The friggin' internet police? Go get 'em FCC	(37)
(Ad Age)		Myth vs. rearity when dealing with the Asian-American market	(26)
		If you are the CEO of a major financial institution during the worst crisis in your firm's storied history, do you c) play bridge and smoke doobies?	(14)
(Bloomberg)		Exxon Mobil Corp., posted its biggest drop in quarterly profit in more than 3 years after equipment and power failures slowed gasoline output & refining margins narrowed	(31)
		Frontier Airlines doesn't fly to Boston because the Red Sox beat the Rockies or something	(6)
		Wal-Mart offers $199 computer, boasts how it can "add" and "subtract"	(199)
		US light crude rises to $96 a barrel on heels of "Dog the Bounty Hunter" suspension	(62)
		Domino's Pizza to raise UK prices owing to higher commodity prices for toppings beloved by Brits such as jellied eel, Marmite and phlegm	(136)
(Bloomberg)		Home foreclosures up 100% from last year. In other news, banks replace toaster with house as gift when you open a new savings account	(68)
		Oil prices continue their unremitting climb on news that the Sun successfully rose this morning	(12)
(Business Week)		Now that we've mastered talking on our cell phones while driving, Google soon to offer search engine service on Verizon	(11)
		Best Buy may buy biggest UK electrical retailer. Hope they take the extended warranty with that	(12)

		Last time the Canadian Dollar was this high it was because the Confederates were approaching D.C.	(102)
		Canada is gonna party like it's 1877	(23)
(Some Guy)		Rarely is the question asked: Is our entrepreneurs learning?	(10)
(IFA)		"Global economic slump 'will bypass Japan'" Godzilla & Mothra 500 Index Fund is inscrutable	(3)
		Cisco and Wipro choose Halloween to announce they're joining forces to create a technology alliance of unholy job-eating zombies	(5)
		Oil prices rise to $94 a barrel on news it’s cold during winter time	(8)
(Bloomberg)		The Federal Reserve cuts rates by a quarter of a point, bringing the fed funds rate to 4.5%, citing housing concerns. Decosopm was not unanimous. Stocks are down now	(43)
		The Top 10 Resumé Howlers	(164)
(The Oil Drum)		Are we in a speculative bubble with regard to oil prices? The data, after being tortured, says "not really"	(10)
		"If you can't sell a car to boys and you can't sell it to girls, then the market is going to be pretty small"	(14)
		Warren Buffett says he should be paying more taxes. Just go to Margaritaville, old man	(35)
		US economy grew by almost four percent this summer, deepening the Bush economic depression	(39)
(Some Guy)		Merrill Lynch choses company insider to lead search for a new CEO. Announcement of insider as new CEO in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1	(5)
		Clorox buys Burt's Bees for $925 million. Don't they know bleach could kill them?	(11)
		Ben Bernanke is fond of saying the Federal Reserve was responsible for the Great Depression. Today is the final exam. How will Uncle Ben score his own response to a major financial crisis?	(34)

		World's worst place to eat Sunday breakfast to buy world's worst place to take a date	(74)
(Some Guy)		NBC/Universal: Apple has destroyed the music business. Consumers: My tiny violin, let me play it for you	(63)
		Americans will have spent nearly $5 billion dollars on Halloween this year, a 58 percent increase from five years ago	(32)
		Sirius Satellite Radio is losing slightly less money than they used to. Bababooie bababooie Howard Stern's penis	(25)
		Apparently realizing the dollar is a poor substitute for toilet paper, the Fed may not cut rates this week after all	(21)
		Despite rising food and labor costs, Texas Roadhouse shares are up 15 percent for Q3. Your dog has been eating a lot of steak	(19)
		Credit card companies concerned about excessive debts being racked up by customers. You have been pre-approved to PANIC	(40)
		"Please don't blame us for $93 oil," Qatari Oil Minister Abdullah al-Attiyah told reporters at an OPEC meeting while bathing in a gold bathtub filled with money. "The market is out of control"	(48)
		Merrill Lynch CEO takes his news the old-fashioned way... he quits	(10)
(Independent.ie)		Three Irish priests -- accused of misappropriating millions from a Florida church to keep girlfriends, take holidays, gamble and speculate on property -- hid it in a company they named "Shag"	(78)
		Price of oil drops below record high of $93 a barrel as investors realize they're burning dinosaur bones and they need to break these rusty chains and run	(11)

		Kellogg warns future profits aren't GRRREAT. Earnings streak about to SNAP, CRACKLE and POP	(3)
		Best Buy sells person bathroom tiles instead of hard drive. Buyer complains. Best Buy's position? Sucks to be you	(47)
(Times News)		Who loves Idaho? Gun makers and their $2 billion in business, that's who. Bonus knock on Chicago: your loss is Idaho's gain	(21)
(Some Business Guy)		Employee stress costing American business $300 billion a year. Great, something else to worry about	(6)
		GM to set up research center in Shanghai, will have many wonderful adventures abroad. In bed	(11)
(Bloomberg)		Trading of Office Depot's stock fell 17% after delaying its Third Quarter earnings report while it reviews how it accounted for payments from suppliers. Sounds like they need an easy button	(10)
(Some Guy)		At some point, suspending black mannequins from chains in store windows seemed like a good idea to the people who run the All Saints clothing chain (pic)	(60)
		Asian stock markets rise in record fashion on news that that the US Federal Reserve will make the dollar worthless with another interest rate cut. You've all learned Chinese, right?	(48)
(Financial Times)		Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson gets on his hands and knees pleading with India to take American nuclear technology days after sanctioning Iran for doing the same thing. His name is Henry Paulson	(22)
		Indians found making clothes for Gap in slave-like conditions, getting whooped in the ALCS	(124)