Stephen King pens newest horror tale of real estate market	(6)
		Today's frozen beef recall brought to you by the letters J&B	(26)
		High oil prices hurting oil company profits. In other news, scientists confirm that there is, in fact, no violin small enough for this situation	(4)
		You better be good looking if you want to serve drinks to people at this casino. "We really wanted to stand out in a different way."	(68)
		How a relatively small business in 2001 named Blackwater grew to receive $1 billion in U.S. taxpayer dollars on the back of Iraq's disasters	(58)
		The world's most depressing jobs	(33)
		Business is war and Donald Trump has just declared war on a Scottish salmon fisherman	(9)
		Don't take this the wrong way, but everything you know about the link between business and politics is incorrect	(41)

(Some Guy)		Aer Lingus and its unions go back to giving each other lip service in hopes of getting to a climax	(13)
		IRS: "We've got free money, all you gotta to do is file for it." Taxpayers: "Eh, that's too much work."	(85)
		U.S. ethanol production slows because nobody truly cares	(22)
(Realty Times)		Baby Boomers now officially own everything	(23)
(Some Guy)		"I'm worried about the future of America. It seems all our intelligent kids want to be doctors, teachers, lawyers or drunk-naked-and-tattooed reality show stars instead of what this country really needs: fast-food managers"	(78)
		"I am leafing through the headlines in today's newspaper, and some of them are every bit as arousing as a 300-pound stripper. Can you imagine how many more newspapers we can sell if our headlines don't have to be TRUE?"	(7)
		"Miller Brewing would like consumers to think of it as a wholesome, all-American product. Instead, they're in danger of becoming the 'Honk If You Hate Jesus' beer"	(265)

(Ars Technica)		RIAA admit they have no idea how much money they lose from filesharing, and that suing filesharers costs more than they gain from it. Where did these guys go to business school?	(52)
		Old & busted: geocaching souvenirs and knickknacks. New hotness: geocaching your dearly departed in an environmentally friendly way	(9)
		BEA rejects $6.6 billion Oracle buyout offer	(19)
(Some Guy)		Oil hits all-time high of $84 a barrel on news that Al Gore wins Nobel Prize	(104)
		GE records 13.8 percent increase in Q3 profit, citing high demand for heavy equipment, low demand for Bionic Woman	(4)
		That boot you feel on your neck? That's the top one percent of America	(129)
		Book of articles documenting decline and fall of American newspapers already outdated due to unexpected speed of decline	(5)

		As goes Wal-Mart, so goes the economy	(78)
		Retailers report slow September sales on news that we all have enough stuff, don't need anything more	(8)
(NY Times)		Good: British and American dental care approaching equality. Bad: It's due, in part, to 100M Americans lacking dental health insurance. Yeah, baby, yeah	(20)
(Some Guy)		Wal-Mart is making a big box effort to roll back the property tax valuation of its stores, cutting the amount it owes to local governments for schools and social services. "Passing the savings on to you" indeed	(23)
		Curious George and the poisonous Chinese materials	(5)
		Foreclosure filings nearly double. EVERYBODY PANIC	(364)
		Economics 101: What happens when you have a weaker dollar? Anyone? Anyone?	(58)

		How Wal-Mart and the government are killing off the incandescent light bulb. At least tin-foil still alive and kicking	(78)
		ConAgra stops production of pot pies amid salmonella fears. No word on whether the pot brownie industry will suffer too	(20)
		Boeing delays the first delivery of the 787 Dreamliner by 6 months	(30)
		Forget about Canadian dollars catching up to the US dollar; start worrying about the Indian rupee	(22)
		Qatar's energy minister said crude oil prices should be more than $100 a barrel	(25)
		U.S. may look to Japan for import lessons, bukkake	(50)
		Gold jumps on weak dollar, which never saw it coming	(16)
		UAW sheep, err workers walk off the job at Chrysler	(349)
		Positive feedback has never been more important. eBay to launch its own social networking service	(14)
		Carly Fiorina, former CEO of HP, to get show on Fox's new business channel, offering advice to aspiring CEO's on how to run their company into the ground with stupid mergers then whine about sexism as they pocket a massive severance	(25)
		Uber Geek who helped create the first firewall, internet forums, early word processors and Alta Vista search engine, fired from Google for being too old	(77)
		Mitsubishi introduces new line of regional jets: "We feel strongly that we will be able to create an aircraft that will have an impact."	(14)
		AT&T to pay California $500,000 in consumer cell phone settlement; state tells other carriers to pay up or be sued too	(2)
		Aussie dollar now above 90 US cents. Crikey	(15)

		How bad is the home market? One builder will now give you a Lexus if you buy one of their houses	(11)
(knbc.com)		Dow, S&P close at new records	(16)
		Good news: The cost of natural gas should only rise 10% for those who heat with it. Bad News: The cost of heating oil will jump 22%. Good News: It comes with a free frozen yogurt, called frogurt. Bad News: The frogurt is also cursed	(18)
		Columnist hates economic prosperity, wishes for recession that will cost you your job and home	(39)
		AT&T purchases air for $2.5 billion	(18)
		Ford expands shiatty cars to China, makes a killing	(4)
		America, if you want better products quit going after the cheapest sh*t	(37)
(Some Guy)		The budget deficit is shrinking and is below the 50 year average. Now if Congress stopped spending like a drunken sailor we would have a balanced budget	(35)
		Dow surges on news that the Fed unanimously believes the economy is faltering	(3)
		Oil prices continue to slide on news that Pete Coors is house hunting in Milwaukee	(4)
(news-leader.com)		Insurance company's goal: no profits, lower health care costs, buying the stairway to Heaven	(3)
		Rich and unfaithful: 61 percent of wealthy women are having affairs (link fixed)	(258)
		Remember that housing bubble pop this summer? Yeah, not exactly. Don't expect it to really hit until 2009. Suck it, everyone	(50)
		Hell hath no fury like Sallie Mae Corp, sues to complete buyout or collect $900M "breakup fee"	(9)
		"You form the arms Molson Coors and I SABMiller will form the watery head"	(94)
		The rising prices of hops and barley mean that TotalFark will soon be $10 a month	(14)
(Some Guy)		Chic-Fil-A marketing executive shot and killed by police on Main Street after bizarre chase	(23)
(WSB-TV)		Man’s credit pre-Consumer Credit Counseling Services: 680. After: 540	(272)
		Not only do illegal immigrants take the jobs Americans don't want, but they also pay their mortgage on time	(23)
(Bloomberg)		Sprint CEO fired after not being able to foresee Verizon and AT&T kicking their ass	(9)
(Financial Times)		China begins their assimilation of the United States with their first investment in a U.S. bank. We are China. Lower your shields and surrender your country	(26)

		Oil plummets below $80 a barrel on news of a strong dollar. WTF? Is this stuff like cyclical, or something?	(10)
		SAP spends $6.78 billion on a company no one has ever heard of	(32)
		Vonage throws orange box stuffed with $80 million at Sprint Nextel	(8)
(Some Guy)		MSNBC buys Newsvine, a Seattle startup that allows users to post and comment on news stories. What a dumb concept	(19)
(Bloomberg)		Google hits $600 a share. Cramer seen screaming "Boo-yah me, bah-bee"	(25)
		Your fantasy football team is hurting the economy. No, not because you started Matt Hasselbeck at quarterback this week, but because you're spending too much time thinking about it	(30)
		Jamie Oliver to launch an "authentic" Italian restaurant chain, because nothing says Italian like a lisping British wanker	(19)
		Companies that outsouced jobs to India now complaining that the shrinking value of the dollar makes Indian workers too expensive	(52)