East German women moving west for jobs, shaving cream	(8)
(Some Guy)		$1 trillion a year doesn't go nearly as far as it used to	(28)
		McDonald's comeback surprises experts. Expert says, "As long as you have a good product that people like, people are going to go and eat it." Suck it Morgan Spurlock	(33)

		Old & busted: private Gulfstream jets. New hotness: private Boeing 767 and Airbus 380 jets	(17)
		Toyota's Top U.S. executive defected to Chrylser. Says domestic sales will come back strong. Zoom-zoom	(24)
		Will the ten, richest people in America please take one step forward? Not so fast Waltons	(86)
		Apple admits that some iPod touchscreens are flawed. Where is your god now?	(67)
(Orlando Sentinel)		Southwest airlines eyes expansion to Canada, Mexico, Asia and Europe	(14)
		As Canadians celebrate strength of their mighty loonie, their entire tourism industry prepares for a thunderous collapse. Kinda ironic, eh?	(41)

		President Bush on risk of recession: "I think I got a B in Econ 101." We're screwed	(48)
(The Motley Fool)		I can't believe it's the stock market	(11)
		US dollar continues downward spiral. Smug Canadians insufferable	(32)
(Not Hut)		Pizza Inn reports it had a profitable 2007. In related news, Pizza Inn is still in business	(31)
		Supply-side economics works. "Total revenues have far surpassed the 2000 peak at lower marginal tax rates. Since the mid-2003 tax cuts, revenues have grown by 45%, averaging almost 10% per year since 2003."	(131)
		Remember those massive "put" options from a month ago? They expire today, and the stock market has not lost 1/3 or more of its value. Someone has lost billions of dollars	(29)
		The Honda Fit might actually NOT be the stupidest looking car on the road in 2008	(303)
		Mattel apologizes to China for besmirching its fine reputation for producing quality lead-based-painted toys. Read: Please don't kick us out of China and make us manufacture our toys somewhere else, where it will cost twice as much	(151)
(Some Guy)		All charges dropped against man who refused to show receipt while leaving Circuit City	(380)
(The Inquirer)		Virgin Mobile business plan: Step 1: Steal girl's photo from Flickr. Step 2: Use it for derogatory ad campaign in Australia. Step 3: Hope nobody notices	(209)
		Finally, Drew's life story makes ABC News	(17)
		Thanks to the beauty of globalization, the UK copied the U.S. housing market step for step, and now faces the worst housing crash in their history. More tea, guvnah?	(24)
		Oil surges to $84 dollar a barrel on news that it's the exact same price in Canada too	(28)

		Dubai to buy a nearly 20 percent stake in Nasdaq	(34)
		From the desk of the Grinch: Holiday sales expected to grow at slowest rate in the last five years. You can't have a Merry Christmas. Not yours	(20)
(Metaversed)		Sixth grader, passionate about gaming, lands $6.5 million deal. How's that MBA workin out for ya?	(10)
		In a classic example of business masturbation, Time Warner set to sell its cable business to itself for $3 billion	(14)
(NY Times)		NBC says to hell with iTunes, starts their own free video download thingee. In other news, downloads of The Office exceed that of everything else in the known universe	(32)
		New U.S. $5 bill will get splashes of purple and gray to make it look more like real money	(38)
(FT)		U.S. monopoly regulator is upset about one of their monopolies getting fined for being a monopoly	(18)
		Dollar hits new low against euro. But it's not a crisis. We'll just let the government bail out Wall Street a few more times and everything will be fine	(29)
		Palm warns of profit drop	(11)
		$1 Canadian. That's what, like $1 in American?	(388)
		SCO is SCOwned	(23)

(Some Guy)		You know your 12 year old nephew who really doesn't like you? Yea, don't have him design a logo for your business	(54)
		General Mills profits up on price hikes, smaller cereal boxes. Oil industry takes note, rushes to have the MiniGallon approved	(23)
		Will the Fed rate cut help the housing market? In short, nope. Hug an investment banker today	(13)
		Darth Vader calls out Greenspan	(49)
		Cisco offers a glimpse at the risky business of acquisitions	(10)
		Countrywide CEO says they are quitting the subprime market, tobacco use is next	(7)
		The federal government needs a credit line increase, as it is about to hit its current debt limit of $8.965 TRILLION	(152)
		Comcastic COO says his company feeling pressure from cable and satellite providers for loss of business. Fails to mention lack of any respect or service for customers whatsoever	(215)
		The new Southwest Air -- business passengers sit up front, moms and kids in the back. But still no babies in the overhead compartments	(28)
(TheStreet.com)		A guide for the layman: What does it mean when the Feds lower/raise the discount rate?	(9)
(Zune Scene)		Microsoft readies Zune 2 as competitor against Apple for holiday sales. Touts new "squircle" button and "mickey mouse" like play/back buttons. This profit quarter will end well	(55)
		Newsweek asks SmartCar's U.S. president if larger cars are safer. "The logical conclusion to that question is that we should all be driving locomotives or 18-wheelers"	(32)
		Consumer prices fall 0.1 percent in August. Savings immediately blown on ale and whores	(33)
(Bloomberg)		Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are increasing their portfolio of crappy mortgages	(2)
		Ford and Microsoft pair up to build something that actually works	(27)
		Canadian dollar almost at par with the U.S. peso	(240)
(Variety)		Rupert Murdoch vowed that News Corp.'s upcoming Fox Business Network would take a very different approach to business news than CNBC	(16)

		Cramer freaks out about the fed again, only this time it's a shiny, happy freakout	(15)
		Bankrupt American Home Mortgage wants to raid employee retirement plan to pay creditors	(25)
(RCR News)		The wireless industry opposes the "Cellular Bill of Rights," because "wireless complaints are at an all-time low"	(15)
		Oil passes $81, closer than ever to anus	(40)
		SCO blames Linux for bankruptcy problems. Spending millions on a frivolous lawsuit apparently had nothing to do with it	(16)
		Canadian dollar touches 0.98 cents US. Someone is finally paying attention to America's two cents	(51)
		Mars Inc. said Monday it will continue to use 100 percent cocoa butter in its U.S. chocolate products, to hell with cheaper vegetable oils	(37)
		Pop	(284)
		O2 wins the UK iPhone contract. Consumers win a crappy signal, inflated bills and viral marketing featuring the voice of Boromir	(54)
(NDTV)		Bank teaches sex workers to save so that they don't end up blowing it all	(8)

		Beverage makers to eliminate all full-calorie sodas from American schools by 2009	(52)
		Bank of America announces that they do, indeed, suck. Despite charging a first born child for speaking to an actual teller, their earnings are expected to take a massive hit due to their inherent stupidity	(24)
		Smugness up 49% in 2007	(35)
(Some Flaming Lib)		Ann Coultergiest, drinking from her daily cup of crazy, says on Faux News that it would be good for Wall Street if we bomb, bomb, bomb Iran	(169)
		Greenspan thinks tax cuts in the face of mounting deficits might not have been such a great idea	(54)
(Motley Fool)		Greenspan's Britney moment. If you thought Britney's out-of-lip-sync, lumbering pantomime at the MTV Video Music Awards was bad, you ain't seen nothin' yet	(17)
		Banana company Chiquita fined $25m for funding terrorists; plans to a peel	(120)
		Dick's Sporting Goods CFO sees expansion in future, predicts about seven years of organic growth for Dick's. Wall Street excited	(20)
		AOL bids goodbye to Virginia, heads to New York to seek its fortune. Expected to return flat broke in a couple of years asking to sleep in the spare bedroom	(13)
		British making a run on banks after mortage collapse. George Bailey seen hiding his honeymoon money in a mattress	(9)
		Stocks falter worldwide on news that Alan Greenspan reveals that the business cycle exists and we're sorely in need of an asset-price correction. Blah, blah, blah... Newton's Third Law	(12)
		Greenspan predicts double-digit interest rates "soon." EVERYBODY PANIC	(22)
		Micro$oft £oses appeal of its €U anti-trust ¢ase	(52)
		With the American auto industry doing so well, the UAW and GM cannot agree on a contract	(20)
		DebtStorm 2007®, after moving east and drenching England, now moving back west to make landfall on America again, continuing on to Japan	(14)
(DailyTECH)		Nintendo now fifth-largest company in Japan as it passes Honda Motor and Sony. New Nintendo Wii-ster Convertible and Wii-G TV on the way as company "diversifies"	(28)