Coke unveils new plastic bottle with sculpted grip, less environmental impact. Still no cure for high-fructose corn syrup	(31)
		Is Apple the new Microsoft?	(112)
		College students majoring in credit card debt	(55)

		You know that fed rate cut whiny investors and financial institutions have been praying for? Looks like they've been praying to the wrong god. Accept your losses, lick your wounds, and try not to be so stupid next time	(31)
		The Federal Reserve foresees a limited housing fallout, an Escalade in every driveway, and the Cubs winning the World Series. Stevie Wonder approves (full article pasted in thread)	(32)

		Countrywide to layoff at least 12,000 employees	(27)
(Bloomberg)		Bank of America loses $700 million investing in Countrywide Financial. Fees for speaking to an actual teller expected to rise slightly to $5,000 per transaction	(14)
		Former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling, unhappy with his new name "Shirley" and his new husband Bucephelus, would like a do over on his trial, please	(71)
		Wil discusses a possible recession with NPR. No, the other Wil Wheaton	(9)
(Some Guy)		Not News: Consumer Reports does their Annual Auto Survey. News: They find 6,769 people whose cars have over 200,000 miles. Fark: All of those cars are Hondas or Toyotas. Suck it, Detroit	(124)
(The Consumerist)		The World's Worst Credit Card	(53)
(Some Guy)		Unemployment at 4.6 percent. Percent of workforce made of illegal immigrants: Five percent. Calm and reasonable discussion about jorbs being stolen to the right	(108)
(Some Guy)		Apple considering cutting TV show download prices in half. Suck it, NBC	(35)
		Former Federal Reserve Chief Alan Greenspan warns of "market fear", then resumes lustily banging uber-milf Andrea Mitchell	(7)
		CNBC insists (ow ow) there is no (let go of my hair) catfighting between its anchors (I'm the money honey you farking -- OW)	(3)
		Screw preparing, the stock market IS a bloodbath on news of weak job numbers	(21)
		Intruder tries to break into Warren Buffett’s home but is foiled by Buffett's own private army of bloodthirsty mercenaries who all look like Brigitte Nielsen	(52)
		Expect a bloodbath in the markets today as U.S. employers cut 4,000 jobs in August, the first time the economy has shed jobs in over four years	(27)
		The cat fight between "money honeys" Erin Burnett and Maria Bartiromo heats up as CNBC banks on Erin Burnett to wage internecine warfare against Rupert Murdoch and his lame Neil Cavuto-based financial channel for supremacy	(12)
		Weeks after saying "the markets are strong and will sort themselves out with no economic impact," Treasury Secretary Paulson says, "This shakeout will last months and the economy will be impacted." Heckuva job there, Paulie	(12)
		In a sea of bad economic news, a U.S. company finally does something right. Chrysler appoints former Toyota President Jim Press to their board. He'll focus on making good cars, while the CEO tries to find the plumbing section	(7)

		Comic books available for download to cell phones. Worst. Idea. Ever	(18)
		Starbucks opens in Russia. Sells out of triple grande vodkas in an hour	(8)
		The Fed accepted $7 billion in 14-day RPs out of a total of $60.9 billion submitted, $16 billion in seven-day RPs out of a total of $58.2 billion submitted and $8.25 billion in overnight RPs out of $33.55 billion submitted	(36)
(Reason Online)		Best overview of the subprime issue ever. The rise of mortgage derivatives, why the bank doesn't want your house, and why the rest of us shouldn't have to bail you out	(20)
(Motley Fool)		Invest like Miss Teen South Carolina	(10)
(Popular Science)		Richard Branson unveils plans to build a large hoo-hoo in New Mexico desert	(25)
(news-leader.com)		Rent-a-pet service catches on with busy Californians. Your dog wants a stake	(11)
		Lift up your glass beakers full of beer, the biotech party is winding down. Here's why	(17)
(Some Guy)		For the first time since the invention of agriculture, farming is not the biggest sector of the global economy	(18)
		Top company directors are closing their workforce’s pensions while setting up their own, worth 42 times the national average	(9)
		Sept. 6 called "the sickest day of the year" for workers with record number expected to call in complaining of explosive diarrhea and other hangover-masking symptoms	(18)
		Ace is the place with the incompetent accounting staff	(4)

		Greenspan's book muses about the economy. Chapters include "Housing Market/Shmousing Market" and "What, Me Worry?"	(3)
(Motley Fool)		Apple to NBC: Hit the road, Jack. NBC to Amazon: I'll be your baby daddy	(17)
		That Great Disturbance in the Force you heard? 1 Million Apple Fanboys being bilked out of $200,000,000 for being first	(147)
		Wait ... you are telling me that selling millions of homes to people who couldn't afford by giving them shady loans, then upping the payments could be a problem?	(56)
		U.S. stock markets decline on news that sales of existing homes fell by 12.2%. Your nest egg/ATM is about to be worth what it was in 1985	(26)
(Reason Online)		Whatever former Labor Secretary Robert Reich says about the economy, expect the opposite to happen	(14)
(BevNet)		Coke Blak drink discontinued after 17 months of poor sales. Those who went Blak will have to go back	(92)
		On the heels of the mortgage-backed securities market collapse, here comes round two. The collapse of the student-loan backed securities market.. Your children are getting McJobs	(52)

		Not news: Trade unions are big fans of affirmative action. News: For whites	(56)
		From the "Why Not Just Put Them in Jail Literally" Department: Direct-mail credit card offers to subprime mortgage customers in the United States jumped 41 percent in first half of the year	(234)
(Some Guy)		2001: "We are now convinced that the age of skyscrapers is at an end." 2007: Hold on a second	(122)
		Fed to lenders: Don't raise rates on ARM loans screwing yourselves as well as the borrower. Lenders: B-b-b-but our interest	(48)
		New ad campaign for Virgin Home Loans features senior citizens having sex. With SFW pic	(105)
		Think August was a rough month for the markets? Just wait until September's results come in	(4)
(Bloomberg)		Home makers are suffering from withdrawal symptoms after years of getting a shot in the arm	(6)
		It might be time for a new job when your boss prohibits employees from making excuses for uncompleted work. Excuses like "It's my lunch break" or "The workday is over"	(28)

		French public utility companies surrender to each other's boards of directors	(3)
		Stupid company names are hindering new generation of Silicon Valley startups	(23)
		Old and busted: McMansions. New hotness: McBankruptcy	(56)
(WTAE 4)		The U.S. employee put in an average 1,804 hours of work in 2006. That compared with 1,407.1 hours for the Norwegian worker and 1,564.4 for the French, slackers	(84)