(Bellingham Herald)		Would all of the indicators of a robust economy please step forward? Hold on a second there, livable wage	(112)
		That sound you just heard was thousands of investment bankers crashing their yachts after having a heart attack. "No federal bail out for you. Not yours."	(18)
		The fantastically brilliant business practice of "No Money Down" home loans is looking like a really stupid idea	(11)
		Ban on British beef back. But bovine believers buck up: boycott brief	(12)
		UPS celebrates one hundred years of delivering packages, running over dogs	(14)
(Some Guy)		A simple T-shirt, with a logo stamped across it, probably manufactured for pennies in a third-world sweatshop, now costs twice as much as an album of digitally pristine, highly wrought music recorded in a state of the art western studio	(32)

		U.S. bankruptcy filings up 38% from last year	(39)
		Man learns the hard way what a reserve is on eBay after court orders him to hand over a vintage plane worth $215,000	(61)
		Study finds that asshole bosses get promoted instead of punished. Obvious tag explodes	(20)
		Hey, remember that guy in the Bible who parted the waters and took out the entire Egyptian army? Well he's back, but he's no match for the Clean Water Act	(39)
(MarketPlace.org)		The symbol of Swiss ingenuity soon to be made in China	(22)
		Airline pilots took 50% paycut and CEO got a $40m bonus. Aviation experts agree: "when upcoming contract negotiations begin, start buying lots of Greyhound Bus tickets"	(24)

		Step 1: Build social-networking site. Step 2: Sell advertising. Step 3: Profit (until the advertisers see their products appearing on the pages of politically-questionable parties)	(36)
(Some Guy)		A man who gets angry at work may well be admired for it, but a woman who shows anger in the workplace is liable to be seen as “out of control” and incompetent	(20)
		You didn't plan on retiring in the next decade or so, did you? The U.S. economy just collapsed	(66)
		Headline from the Future: Ford reports 12th consecutive quarterly loss in a row, still suffering the consequences of the Great Recall of Summer 2007	(18)
(Some Complete Tools)		Tivo a show in your media room and want to watch it on the bedroom TV? Broadcasters think it should be a surchargin'	(126)
		Five-person panel formed to protect the independence and integrity of Dow Jones during its takeover includes an MIT professor who received $2.9 million... from News Corp	(77)
		Step 1: Buy Chrysler for $36B USD Step 2: Sell 80% of Chrysler for $7.4B Step 3: Profit? FAIL	(28)
		Lenovo to sell $199 PC in rural China; to continue selling $599 PCs for $1,499 in US	(15)
		House OKs prescription drug imports	(79)
		American Home Mortgage files for chapter 11	(32)

(Some Guy)		Young women outearn young men in NYC and other large U.S. cities. Where's your goddess now, NOW?	(162)
		WWE's stock has fallen eight percent since Chris Benoit's death	(26)
(Some Guy)		Since the Segway was so successful, media hype is starting to build around Dean Kamen's next big invention	(113)
		Volkswagen to premiere eight new models at Frankfurt show and send only the least well received versions to the U.S. market	(16)
		Parent company of Samuel Adams beer buys Pennsylvania brewery for $55 million. That's a whole lot of Summer Ale and Winter Lager	(24)
		Stocks rise cautiously after earnings. With pic of cute raven-haired trader	(21)
		Good News: Northwest Airlines reaches a deal that will solve most of their cancellation problems. Bad News: That guy named "Truck" who drinks sterno in the park? He's your pilot now	(4)
		Huge tech companies with massive patent portfolios see nothing wrong with today's system that can't be hashed out in court. That is, if no one has patented that idea yet	(11)
		Disney buys pre-teen oriented online community for $350 million. Drew puts on mouse ears and begins figuring out how to add penguins to Fark	(22)
(Some Guy)		The tallest building in North America is now under construction	(52)

		American automakers now represent 49.5 percent of the U.S. auto market. Suck it, cars	(24)
		Will all the Australian expatriates that think they are allowed to purchase Dow Jones please step forward. Whoa, not so fast Rupert	(44)
		Bally Total Fitness files Chapter 11 bankruptcy. In related news, McDonald's posted record profits this quarter	(35)
		Beazer Homes stock plunges 40% on news that they are NOT, repeat, NOT going bankrupt. Yeah, I'm glad I keep my money in coffee cans buried in the yard	(25)
(theinquirer.net)		Did Intel run a racist ad? Inquiring minds want to know (with OMG-what-were-they-thinking pic)	(165)
		Dow Jones zigs to red numbers, blames Democrats not pronouncing Murdoch's name with sufficient respect	(7)
		British Airways fined £121.5m ($243m) for fixing fuel surcharges, which coincidentally is the price they'll be charging for tickets next month	(4)
(Some Guy)		Domino's Pizza now allows customers to order online. A radical shift in American tradition where people usually take garbage AWAY from your house	(40)

(Some Guy)		Dow Jones industrials lost nearly 150 points because of **shakes overused Magic 8-Ball that gives subby a dirty look** renewed concerns about soured home loans	(109)
		Rupert Murdoch has gained control of the Wall Street Journal. EVERYBODY PANIC	(105)
		Wal-Mart under fire again, this time for helping thousands of teens develop valuable job skills by allowing them to work as unpaid bag boys in its stores	(46)
		Oil settles above $78 a barrel because of **shakes Magic 8 Ball** reports of new violence in Nigeria. Bonus: sets new price record	(191)
		Looking forward to buying your first home? Better hope you didn't pick American Home Mortgage. They be in the crapper	(22)
(Some Guy)		Pizza chain that dosen't cook their wares wins 5th consecutive award for best in America, submitter's wifie wants a new car	(69)
		Apple sells three-billionth download from iTunes. Cue the whiners, naysayers and all four people who own the Zune	(146)
(Some Leeches)		Music industry douchebags are now suing Apple for actually SELLING their client's music downloads. Which makes them money. For doing nothing	(39)
		GM announces a second-quarter profit of $891 million. Wait, what?	(19)
		Treasury Secretary asks Congress to raise debt ceiling. Again	(220)
		Since a patent was issued for clicking a button to buy an item on-line, the company holding it actually thinks it's worth money. Subby plans to patent dancing monkeys	(16)
		Consumer confidence hits six year high. Quick, someone blame Bush	(325)
		Rupert Murdoch acquires Dow Jones, completing the final piece of his empire. Ehhhxcellent	(129)
(Rochester D&C)		Bad: Repo man comes looking for your cars. Fark: You own a Ford dealership	(25)
		Burger King's "King" was designed to be "a little creepy." Where is your god now?	(33)

		Rising cheese prices cut profits. No, you can't have affordable cheese. Nachos	(115)
		Where are the "OMG WTF the stock market is crashing" folks today?	(38)
(Some Guy)		Half of all U.S. employees work with a "workplace princess." "We defined this as a co-worker who had a special sense of entitlement or privilege"	(182)
		Learning a good lesson in the aftermath of Katrina and Rita, 14% of new policy holders since 2005 have cancelled their flood insurance policies in Louisianna	(16)
		Experts say a Norwegian electric car called "Think City" may just be the one that reverses 100 years of automotive history. Have you driven a Fjord lately? (pic)	(10)
		DynCorp stock plunges on news that we're going to have a Democrat as our next president, withdraw from Iraq, and turn our aircraft carriers into plowshares	(6)
		The last unbiased news source is about to be eaten and shat out by "Fair and Balanced" NewsCorp. Suck it, everyone	(27)
(The Motley Fool)		With the completion of the quadrifecta last week, finance journalist goes 4 for 4 in predicting which CEOs would get the axe in 2007	(1)
		Sell, Mortimer. Sell. Selllllllllllllllllllll	(17)
		Northwest "Airlines" cancels more than 200 peak travel-season flights due to lack of pilots. If only there was some way to predict how many flights they had scheduled	(40)